4. Scarlet
4
SCARLET
A few days later, and we’re still not any closer to a solution. Luna and her parents are staying here, hoping to figure something out together. Ren hasn’t tried to contact me and that worries me above all. What if I hit River too hard? No, I can’t think about that. I won’t let my mind go there. I have to believe he’s still at the cabin waiting for me to come back.
A knock on my door drags me out of my thoughts. “Come in!” I Yell, loud enough for the person on the other side to hear.
The door opens, and my father appears in the doorframe. “Someone is here to talk to us.”
I immediately perk up. “Who is it?”
“It’s a psychologist. I’m hoping she can shine some light on our situation.”
Jumping off my bed, I don’t care that I’m still in my pajamas at 11 o’clock in the morning or that I’ve been sulking in my room for the past two days. “I’ll get dressed and be right down.”
My dad nods and closes the door behind him before I quickly get dressed to meet him out in the hallway. Together, we walk downstairs to his office, where a tall blonde woman is waiting for us.
She gets up from her chair as we enter.
“Hello, you must be Scarlet,” she greets me, holding out her right hand for me to shake. “I’m Dr. Stone. I’m a licensed psychologist specializing in dissociative identity disorder.”
“Dissociative identity disorder?” I repeat while taking her hand.
“Yes, that’s the clinical term. You might know it as multiple personality or split personality disorder,” she explains with a bright smile on her red painted lips.
“Please sit,” my dad offers as he takes his own seat behind his large wooden desk.
Dr. Stone sits down, and I take the seat next to her.
“Dr. Stone, could you tell us a little more about this disorder?” my father asks.
“Of course. Dissociative identity disorder or DID for short is a very rare mental disorder that affects less than 2% of the entire population. It’s more common in women, but men can definitely suffer from it as well. People who have DID will have at least two very distinct personalities. Some have up to one hundred personalities inside of them.”
“One hundred?” I ask, astounded by the sheer number.
“It’s rare, but yes, there are cases documented with these numbers. Though it’s more common to have two to ten personalities.”
“Ren has two. He calls the other one River,” I explain.
Dr. Stone takes a notebook and pen from her purse and lays them on her lap. She opens the book and scribbles down something on the paper.
“Would the person not know they have DID?” My dad questions.
“Not necessarily. Some patients do, some don’t. The mind is a tricky thing, Mr. Rossi, and DID often comes along with a few other symptoms like memory loss, hallucinations, and delusions. It is possible that neither of the personalities knows or that only one of them does.”
“Ren doesn’t know; he believes River is real. He even talks to him on the phone. I don’t know if River realizes it or not. I only interacted with him a few times. I think he only called himself River once in front of me.”
Dr. Stone nods while she continues to write stuff down on her paper. “Usually, the separate personalities will be very distinct, with unique character traits and even mannerisms.”
“Yes, I have noticed that. Ren is always kind, easygoing, and fun. River is almost the complete opposite of that. He is angry, distraught, and very hard to reason with.”
Dr. Stone keeps nodding like everything I’m saying makes complete sense to her while my father seems to be unhappy about this new revelation. Or maybe he doesn’t agree with my description of Ren. I’m sure we’ll have a conversation about it later.
“That all sounds pretty textbook DID to me. Often a person creates a new personality or alter ego, if you will, to personify all the feelings they don’t want to feel or maybe they just can’t handle them. Of course, I can’t make an official diagnosis without actually talking to the patient.”
My father clears his throat. “As soon as we find him, you’ll be able to talk to him in person.”
I suck in a deep breath, relieved that my dad seems to want to help Ren and not kill him. I let that breath out slowly, getting ready for the biggest question of all.
“Is it treatable?” I ask hopefully.
“Yes,” Dr. Stone confirms, and I feel like a huge weight is lifted off my chest. My fear was that there’s nothing we can do about this. That Ren will forever be trapped by the demons that haunt him.
“DID can be treated with both medication and therapy,” she explains. “The most successful treatment is always to find the cause. DID is triggered by trauma and resolving that trauma is the best chance of treatment. It’s usually a lifelong process, and it highly depends on how willing the patient is.”
“He’ll be willing to work with you,” I state, not because I know it but because I have to believe it. I have to believe that Ren will try for me… for us.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Dr. Stone gives me a warm smile. “Do you have any other questions for now?”
“I can’t think of anything at the moment.”
“Dr. Stone, thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m sure you have to get back to your other patients.” My father gets up from his seat and walks around his desk. “I will be in touch.”
Dr. Stone mimics my dad; quickly gathering her stuff, she gets up from her seat to shake his hand.
I, on the other hand, don’t have it in me for any pleasantries at the moment. Too many thoughts running rampant in my mind. I stay seated and watch Dr. Stone exit my father’s office. I’m sure my dad paid her well above her fee to be here, so I don’t feel bad about being rude.
“Feeling a bit better now?” my father asked.
“Yes. My biggest fear was that there is nothing we can do to help him.”
“I hope you realize that if it was anyone else?—”
“He would be dead right now,” I finish my father’s sentence. “Trust me, I’m well aware. Why do you think he is so scared to ask you for help? I told him we should call you, but he was worried you wouldn’t give him a chance to talk. He also believes you knew about New Haven.”
“I didn’t know.”
“If you would have known, would you have done something about it?”
“Probably not,” my father answers without hesitation or remorse. “I’m not a hero, Scar. You know I’m not a good guy.”
I knew this, of course, but it still hurts to hear it sometimes. I know there is good inside of my father by the way he treats my mother and me, but beyond that, he is still the head of the mafia, and they’re not the good guys.
“Am I interrupting?” my brother’s voice startles me.
“Back so soon, Son,” Dad greets Quinton.
“I figured you guys miss me so much when I’m not here.”
I roll my eyes at my brother. He’s always so full of himself. He’s lucky that I love him. I get up from my chair, about to give him a welcoming hug, when he gives me a weird look.
“I need to talk to Dad… alone.”
“About what?” I question. “Why can’t I be in here? Is this about Ren?”
Quinton sighs. “Yes, it’s about Ren. Which is exactly the reason you should leave.”
“When are you going to stop treating me like a child?” I look between my brother and my father accusingly. “You know I’m a grown-up, right? I deserve to be part of this.”
“Scar, if Q thinks it is better you don’t hear this then?——”
Once again, I interrupt my dad. If I were anyone else, I would be regretting my insubordination by now. “Does Quinton have a microchip implanted under his skin?”
“What does that have to do with anything?” he asks, like he doesn’t already know.
“It has to do with everything. You always treat me differently than Quinton just because he is a guy.”
“Everything I do is to keep you safe.”
“No, everything you do is to control me,” I yell. “Which is exactly the reason I didn’t try to contact you sooner.”
“That’s not true. I don’t control anything you do, but maybe I should.” My father’s dark eyes turn hard, and I know my outburst needs to come to an end, or I will be in real trouble.
I lower my voice. “How can you be so blind to this?” I look to my brother for any kind of reassurance that he is on my side. When Quinton averts his gaze to somewhere on the bookshelf behind me, I know I’ve lost him too.
“Fine, have it your way,” I snap, before spinning around and storming out of my father’s office.
A few treacherous tears escape the corner of my eyes as I stomp down the long hallway until I make it to Luna’s room. She is the only one I can count on right now. Raising my arm, I knock on the wood softly. Loud enough for Luna to hear, but quiet enough so she will be the only one.
She opens the door a moment later, looking at me with curious eyes. “Oh, hey. Come on in.” She opens the door further, and I slipped in beside her. “What’s up? Any news about Ren?”
“Yes and no,” I tell her. “There’s no news about his whereabouts, but I talked to a psychologist, and she confirmed that he is showing signs of a split personality. She also says that it’s treatable and that she can help him.”
“That’s amazing,” Luna says, relief in her soft voice.
“So I have a confession to make,” I tell her, feeling a bit guilty. “You know how I told everyone I wouldn’t be able to find the cabin again?”
“Yes,” she answers, drawing out the three-letter word.
“That was a lie. I know exactly where the cabin is. I was just scared of what my dad would do if he got his hands on Ren without letting me explain properly.”
“Why aren’t we telling him now?”
“Because I still don’t trust him completely. I love my dad, but he acts before he thinks, and I’m worried he’ll make Ren worse instead of helping him. If I could just talk to him, explain what is happening and that my dad isn’t out to kill him, I think I could calm him down and have him come in on his own.”
“I don’t know, Scar. I love my brother more than anything, but he is as hardheaded as your dad.”
“I can get to him. You know I can.”
Luna bites her bottom lip as her light blue eyes wander all over the room like she has to really think this through. “All right, what’s your plan?”
“I knew I came to the right person.” I grin. “So, I’m thinking we can swipe one of the guards’ cars and drive out to the cabin ourselves.
“Steal a car?”
“Not steal… borrow.” I grin even wider. “You know my dad has cars ready on a whim, unlocked and key inside. This compound is so secure, no one is going to worry about their car getting stolen.”
“Actually…” Luna runs her hand through her long blonde hair. “I know where my dad parked, and he leaves his keys in the glove compartment. So, we could borrow my parent’s car. Somehow, I would feel better about that. Plus, if Ren sees my dad’s car coming, he is way less likely to freak out and run.”
“You are a genius, Luna! I didn’t even think of that.” I try to keep my voice down, but excitement has me raising my tone. I force myself to lower my volume. “So that means you are in?”
“Let’s go on an adventure.” Luna grins from ear to ear, but her elation doesn’t reach her eyes. I find the same worry I’m feeling reflecting back at me.
“I’m a little scared too,” I admit, “but it will be worth it. We’ll find him and get him the help he needs.”
Luna bobs her head up and down, her smile fading away. “I really hope so.”
Me too.
“I’m going to go back to my room and wait. Meet me downstairs at ten tonight?”
“Sounds good,” Luna answers before I slip out of her room and close the door behind me.
I make my way back to my room to take a much-needed shower before I take my time getting changed into some dark skinny jeans and a comfortable hoody. I put my unruly long hair in a bun at the top of my head and slip into my boots to complete my car-hijacking-look.
Time passes slowly for the rest of the day as I wait for ten o’clock to come around. My mom has dinner sent up to my room when I don’t come downstairs to eat. I force the food down, knowing I need to feed myself and the baby. When I finally sneak down the stairs, Luna is already waiting for me at the bottom.
“Let’s use the kitchen door out to the terrace and walk around to where the cars are parked,” I whisper, knowing that guards are standing in front of the main door.
We tiptoe through the dark hallway and into the kitchen. My heart is racing, though I know this house like the back of my hand, I keep thinking I’m about to run into something to make a loud noise that will alert everyone under this roof.
When we get to the kitchen door, I open it slowly, expecting some kind of alarm to go off even though I know the door is not triggered. My mind is playing tricks on me, the guilt of leaving again weighing heavy on me.
Luna is right behind me as we sneak out onto the terrace and around the house onto the small gravel parking lot.
“There it is.” Luna points at a dark gray SUV, and we quickly make our way over there.
Just like Luna predicted, the doors are unlocked. I slide into the driver’s seat while Luna gets in on the passenger side.
“Do you even have a driver’s license?” Luna asks, while digging the key from the glove compartment.
“No, but Quinton lets me drive sometimes,” I admit. “It’s really not that hard.” I downplay the situation.
“Okay, I trust you,” Luna says, as she hands me the keys.
For the first time tonight, I’m second-guessing involving Luna in my plan. She trusts me, but do I trust myself to do this? What if I mess up? What if I’m wrong, and Ren isn’t there anymore… or worse, River is?
“Are you sure you want to come? I’m gonna be honest with you. I asked you to because I’m a little scared to go by myself. But I don’t want to put you in any danger,” I say, though I know I’m already too late.
“Stop acting like you had to drag me away. I wanna come with you. I want to find Ren just as much as you do. He is my brother, after all. My only constant. You know, I love my parents, but the bond I have with Ren is different. He is the only person who was there before I can remember, before Sophie and Roman adopted us. I couldn’t bear losing him.”
An image of small Ren and tiny Luna, all alone in that cult, enters my mind. Both anger and sorrow swirl around in my gut. They had to protect themselves, just like that little boy we saw when we went to New Haven. Pressure builds behind my eyes, and I have to will the tears away before they run down my face.
Without another word, I enter the key into the ignition and turn until the engine roars to life. Putting the car into drive, I ease my foot onto the gas. Here goes nothing . I slowly maneuver the car out of the parking spot and onto the small road leading to the main gate of the compound.
“The guard at the gate knows my dad’s car. He normally waves us through right away.”
“That’s what I was hoping for.” It’s much easier to get out of this place than in. Still, my heart beats rapidly against my chest and a sheen of sweat appears on my forehead as we approach the gate.
I slow down when the guard steps out of the guardhouse to see what car is coming. When he realizes who it is, or who he thinks it is, he waves at us before pushing the button to open the gate automatically.
Luna and I both sigh heavily in relief as we quickly make it through the gate onto the open road.
“I can’t believe we did that.” Luna giggles. “My parents are going to kill me, but like you said, it will be worth it.”
“Yes, it will be,” I agree, as I rev the engine to put more distance between us and my father’s compound.
The drive takes about an hour and a half, but it feels like an eternity. Neither mine nor Luna’s phone has rung, which means no one knows we’re missing yet. When we finally get to the same road that the man picked me up from when I left the cabin, I park the car off to the side.
“I think you should wait here and let me go first,” I blurt out. “And if you don’t hear from me in thirty minutes, you’d better call our parents.”
“Are you sure?” Luna asks, definitely not convinced by my new plan.
“Yes, I’ve been thinking about it the whole drive over here. It’s the safest thing to do.”
“Are you sure you’re going to find your way back to the cabin in the dark?” It’s a valid question, one I actually asked myself as well.
I’m pretty sure I went straight down the hill, but I have the flashlight on my phone to give me light. Plus, the sky is pretty clear today, so it’s not pitch black outside, anyway.
“All right,” Luna finally says. “I’ll wait here, but I’ll set my alarm for thirty minutes. I won’t wait any longer while you are out there by yourself.”
“Fair enough.” I grab my phone and turn on the flashlight before getting out of the car. “Lock the door behind me,” I order before slamming the car door shut.
The wind blows harshly around me, but I enjoy the fresh scent of the outdoors as I track through the forest up to the cabin. Every few minutes I check my time, making sure I’m not close to the thirty-minute mark. It only takes me twenty minutes before the familiar cabin appears between the trees. My heart sinks when I don’t see a light coming from inside. It’s unlikely that Ren is already asleep. But I don’t want to lose hope yet.
Closing the distance between me and the cabin, at a fast pace, I reach for the door handle, hoping it will open for me. I push the handle down and sigh in relief when it gives way with ease. I push the wooden door open and take a step inside the cabin.
“Ren? It’s me, I’m alone,” I call out, And I’m met with silence. Still, I’m not ready to admit that he isn’t here. “I’m sorry I left, but I’m back now. Please, Ren, I just want to help you.”
The silence is deafening. I hang my head low in defeat. “He is gone,” I whisper to myself.
“You are too late,” an unfamiliar voice says behind me.
I spin around, ready to defend myself from any threat, but like the man says, I’m too late.
Something hard hits my head and the last thing I remember is my knees giving out as darkness engulfs me.