Chapter 10
10
RUE
“M alice, we, I mean, what I did got out of hand. You scared me, and teasing you was my way of getting back at you.”
“I deserved everything you gave me. I’m sorry, Rue. I should’ve given you fair warning.”
I had expected him to say something like, “I told you so. You’re nothing but a good-for-nothing tease.” Instead, he surprises me, and I hate surprises. This one threatens to melt my heart.
“Who are you, and what did you do with ‘I-never-apologize-because-I’m-never-wrong’ Malice Sterling?”
Large fingers grasp my chin and turn my head to the side. “I’m right here. And yes, I’m sorry.” His lopsided grin makes my heart melt further.
“It can’t be.” I smile back.
“What?” His smile widens, and damn it, those dimples make an appearance.
I stare at his mouth. “Two apologies back-to-back. You’re on a roll.”
His gaze dips to my lips. “Is the third time a charm?”
“Maybe.” I lick my lips, my mouth dry from his rampant attention.
“I’m sorry.” He tucks pieces of my hair behind my ear. The caress is gentle and intimate.
“Do you do that with other girls?”
“What, this?” He does the other side.
“Yes,” I say, out of breath from his touch.
“Just you.” He curves his body over mine and runs the tip of his tongue along the shell of my ear. I shiver. “You have so much goddamn hair.”
“It takes forever to wash and blow dry.”
“I can bury my face in it and die happy.”
What he said was cliché, but I couldn’t care less. “Really?” I am dizzy from his closeness and how well we fit, his body wrapping around mine perfectly.
“Really.” Warm fingers trail a path behind my ear and down my jawline. A tingle runs up and down my spine. Needing to feel closer to him, I arch my back and tuck my ass into his groin. He groans, and I moan with contentment.
“It feels that good, huh?”
“ You feel that good,” I clarify.
“The smallest things turn you on.”
He’s right, and he knows it. Malice leaves me breathless and warm in my tank top and PJ bottoms hung low on my hips as he trails his finger from my temple to the jut of what my mother calls my regrettably stubborn chin.
He continues to stoke the heat inside me when he strokes up and down my arm. Desire shoots to my sex, and pressure builds between my legs.
I can imagine it now.
One flick from his finger on my clit, two licks over my slit from his rough tongue, three fingers deep inside me, pumping in and out of my wetness… I hang my head and close my eyes. My breathing is shallow. My breasts hang heavy with need. The place between my legs throbs for release.
“Only you do it for me, Malice,” I rasp.
“Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“Should I do something else that gets you hot for me?”
I could never say no to him. I nod.
“That’s not enough, Rue.”
“I would never refuse you.”
With me on my hands and knees and his large body curved over mine, Malice reaches under my hair and runs his fingers through the strands. His hands are big, and his fingers are thick. They are strong and capable of holding the weight of my hair. Grasping onto the strands, he guides me to a sitting position on his lap. His erection rubs against my butt crack through our clothes. I move back and forth over the outline. A moan slips from deep within my core.
“Fuck, Rue. The noises you make.”
He yanks, and my head snaps back. A large hand circles my neck from the front. Thick fingers cup my jaw. He guides my face to his and looks me in the eye before dropping his gaze to my mouth.
We want the same thing. I swallow my moan. Will he open-mouth kiss me after he nibbles on my bottom lip or after he licks the corners of my mouth?
In the weeks leading up to our first time, Malice and I pretended we weren’t interested in each other. In private, though, and every chance we had to be alone, we kissed and made out. He became possessive of me, saying I was his and he was mine. I would say back, “I am yours, and you are mine,” liking the jealousy in his voice when he spoke of me spending too much time with Red.
I should’ve known Malice would always choose his family over being with a girl whose mother abandoned and regretted having her. Shoving thoughts of family and regret aside, I concentrate on what’s in front of me: the chance to experience Malice’s hands and mouth on me again.
“Hurry,” I beg.
“What?” Disbelief in his voice, followed by a throaty chuckle.
“I said hurry.”
“Impatient little thing, aren’t you?” His smile curves against my cheek.
Who talks like that? Whomever the hell does, he is turning me on.
With his fingers tangled in my hair, he guides my head forward. I stare at the ground. He sweeps the strands to the side and kisses behind my ear and along my nape. Where his lips brush, I memorize their softness to revisit later when I’m in bed, touching myself until I come.
He flicks his tongue on my skin and sucks and licks until I can’t stand it anymore.
“ Please .” My insides are coiled tight. My sex aches. I need relief. Relief is Malice’s touches and kisses.
He runs his fingers through my hair and skims his knuckles along the side of my face. In the moonlight, we lock gazes. I’m sure my expression is as heated as his is.
“Straddle me.” Low. Throaty.
I straddle him and tip my face to his. Large palms cradle my hips. Malice lowers his head and grazes his mouth over one corner of my mouth, and then the other.
His touch is hot on my cool skin. I close my eyes and bite down on my bottom lip. A hint to nibble them first and then kiss me. Or would he rather go for it? I tip my face closer to his.
“I’m ready.”
I have been dreaming of this moment. Dreaming and imagining Malice’s lips on mine. His mouth is unforgiving in a love-it-or-leave-it kind of way, but he is the most gentle, passionate kisser once he warms up to a kiss.
I wait. And wait. Wait more. Finally, I can’t stand it. I open my eyes. He tsks. “No kissing on the lips, Rue. That’s my one rule.”
I blink. What did he do with Cassie then? “Does this rule apply to other girls?”
“Just you.”
Just you .
It’s only me he doesn’t want as something more.
How do you see me?
A good-for-nothing tease, Regret.
My world rights itself back to Malice not seeing me for me. I will never be pretty or smart enough, the top spot belonging to my sister and now to his newest interest, Cassie.
I shake off his hold and stare at his chest. My hair envelops my face, hiding my hurt from him.
Two words pour from my mouth.
“I see.” When will he see me for me?
I scramble off his lap, grab the NVGs off the ground, and get to my feet. I barge past Malice and make my way out of the tall grass and onto the dirt path.
I stomp to his parents’ house, grateful for the moon high in the cloudless sky guiding me down the path. A hand clamps onto my arm. Malice swings me around. His gaze bores into mine. “March your ass back to the house, Regret .”
“I’m not ready.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I’m restless, and you’ve made it worse.”
“ I made it worse?” He snatches the NVGs out of my hand.
“Yes.” I grab them back.
“How?”
“The way you treat and talk to me. I...” I sigh. “I want to...”
He tips forward. I shake my head. Admitting I need an adrenaline rush will make him think I am weird.
“Want what, Rue?” Spoken with too much heat.
He searches my face. I avert my eyes.
“Nothing. Never mind.”
“Never minding.” The heat in his words is gone, replaced with anger.
Why is he so angry? Doesn’t he understand that beneath my outward confidence are insecurities I never want anyone to notice? Knowing of my insecurities gives someone the chance to make me feel like crap. I refuse to give someone that power over me.
I head for his parents’ house. Malice follows. “If you need to go for a walk in the middle of the night or early morning, come get me.”
“I’m fine on my own,” I toss over my shoulder.
“Maybe so, but I wasn’t. I freaked the fuck out when I went to check on you, and the bed was empty.”
“Next time, I’ll use pillows to make it look like I’m in bed. Or better still, don’t check up on me. I’m a big girl.” But… “Why were you checking up on me?”
The path widens. He takes a spot at my side. “I didn’t know if you needed extra blankets. No one comes over or uses the spare room.”
I call him out. “Are you sure about that?”
“Cassie was an exception.”
“I bet she was.”
“Are you jealous or something?”
“Of course not.” Malice isn’t my guy. I have no claim to him and no right to limit whom he can see and what he can do. “Malice, I should tell you what’s in the papers I signed.” His mom left that part for me to do. “There are four conditions for me to be released as your babysitter.”
“Four? That’s it?”
“Yes.”
“Shoot.”
“One, no parties at the house.”
“Easy. My place is a sanctuary and not a frat house.”
“Two, your grades have to be above a B in all your classes.”
“Who says they’re not?”
“Your mom.”
“Huh. Good thing my grades aren’t in the shitter, eh?”
“They are. You’re failing two classes, and the others are C’s or D’s.”
“Stop being a pessimist, Rue.”
Am I? I rack my brain, wondering if that’s the reason I don’t have a boyfriend. Or is it because I’m more of a friend than girlfriend material? I’m bopped on my nose. I blink. I’ve stopped walking, and Malice is blocking my view of his parents’ house, his gaze on my face.
“You’re thinking hard. Care to share?”
And humiliate myself? “No.” I pivot and head back to his place. The restlessness swirling inside me isn’t going away. “Three, you’re to do two good deeds. It can’t be a one-time thing. It must be consistent .”
“Done.”
“Done, as in you’ve been doing good things?”
He nods.
I’m floored. “What are they?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
“Very mature, Malice.”
We walk side by side.
“Girls dig my maturity.”
I doubt it’s his maturity they find mouth-watering. His hand brushes mine. I cross my arms.
“Finally, get a job.”
“Holy shit, my parents made this too easy.” He whoops and hollers. “You’ll be out of my hair in no time, Regret.”
Wow, he doesn’t hold back his excitement, does he? “Once you have a job, you can have a girl over.” I glance sidelong at him and wish I hadn’t. He smiles wide, and my, oh my, Malice is handsome.
“Are you saying my biggest barrier is my grades?”
“Yes.”
“Done.” He repeats the word three more times. It’s like hearing a hammer strike a nail each time he says it.
Getting over him should be easy when he wants nothing to do with me. “Thanks for checking up on me,” I say.
“You’ll tell me when you leave again, right?”
He searches my face for answers, his face too close for comfort.
I shrug. He can't get me on a technicality if I don’t answer him with words.
“ Rue .”
He blows out an exasperated sigh and does this mesmerizing and confusing thing with his hands, clutching and loosening his grip on my shoulders.
At what point had he put his hands on me? I can’t recall the moment. “Why do you care?”
“My dad will rip me a new asshole if anything happens to you.”
“And here I thought you truly cared for my safety.” Instead, he is concerned with getting into the good graces of his parents. Not that I blame him.
“I do care, Rue.”
“Not enough. Otherwise, you would have said something rather than scare me.”
“Again, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I swear.”
“You don’t owe me. Forget what I said.” I twist out of his hold and hurry down the path.
“Why are you dressed like that when it’s cold as fuck?” He calls after me.
I cross my arms across my chest. Without a bra on, my nipples poke against the thin fabric of my tank top. Without curves that keep my pants up, my PJ bottoms ride low on my hips. “I get hot easily. That’s why I wouldn’t need your extra stinking blankets.”
“That’s right. It’s the dead of winter, and you’ll be wearing tank tops, T-shirts, and short ass shorts that hug your ass cheeks. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?”
I stop dead in my tracks. “What does that mean exactly?” I march over to him and jab my finger into his chest. “If you’re accusing my mom of being a whore, I’m going to?—”
He crowds my space. “You’re gonna what, Regret?”
My temper flares hot. Shaking inside, I fist my fingers in his hair, bring him down to me, and slide my lips over his. He sucks in a breath, and I take advantage. I slip my tongue inside his mouth. Our tongues tangle. I taste the walls of his mouth and run the tip of my tongue over his teeth.
The kiss is urgent. All consuming. Unrelenting. How dare he test my temper? How dare he goad me? I tug on his hair. He groans beneath the onslaught of my tongue and my fingers.
Lost in the sounds of his need rumbling against my chest as he pulls me against his large body, I nip on Malice’s bottom lip, then suck his bottom lip into my mouth.
He tastes good, sweet, and minty, like the toothpaste I used before heading for bed. Needing to feel his heat, I plaster myself to him. His hand grips my hip. His fingers dig into my flesh. A moan slips from my core.
“Malice.” God, I miss kissing a guy. I miss kissing Malice.
“Rue, we gotta stop,” he says in between kisses. “Or else?—”
“Or else what?” I blink up at him, dazed.
“Or else we’ll hate one another more for taking this too far. You hate me. I hate you. Remember?”
I steady myself with my palms on his chest. Malice’s eyes are hooded, and his full lips are parted. Were it daylight, I bet the arches of his cheeks would be flushed.
“You’re right. I hate the way you kiss, Malice. Selfish. Greedy. Needy . You are so not my type.”
“Oh, yeah?” He grabs my shoulders and turns me until we’re facing the way back to his place. “I hate the way you kiss too. Of all the girls I’ve kissed, hands down, you are the worst , Regret. Too desperate. Eager .”
He saddles his arm across my shoulders and tugs me close. We walk back to his place hip to hip. I lean into his warmth.
I understand what he’s doing. I’m burning up from the inside out, yet he’s concerned I’m freezing my ass off. I would say he’s a nice guy; except I can’t forget how he hurt me with his words or that he went from hot to cold in a heartbeat.
For the moment, this is his nice guy side, but come tomorrow, when I go where he goes, the broody jerk hidden underneath the nice guy will come out to play.
When he does, I’ll be ready.