3. Amelie
THREE
Amelie
H e was quiet on the ride home and climbed to the rooftop the moment we walked through the door. He hadn’t done this since our high school days when I used to sneak in after his parents fell asleep, and we would light up a joint and talk about our big plans of taking over the world. I had never met anyone as remarkable as Stefan, and he proved it when he moved home to take care of his siblings.
I sent the kids to bed and ascended the rickety ladder. He sat on the ledge, his long legs dangling off the edge of the roof. His striking boyish good looks, which made him look naturally youthful and carefree, couldn’t hide his worries tonight. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and the sight gutted me.
Nowadays, his moods were part happy, part sad, and fully bitter. He had wanted to escape his humble upbringing, only to be forced back to his hometown. It was a tough pill to swallow. He tried to shield me, but he was getting sloppier at hiding his resentment over how his life had turned out.
Tonight, I sensed there was more to the odd behavior than bitterness. What could have happened? Everything seemed fine at dinner.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” Stefan replied monotonously.
I waited for him to explain why he was meditating on the rooftop in the middle of the night. “Did you have a good time tonight?” I asked after realizing he was lost in a different world.
No response. It was impossible to predict what he was thinking. If only I could see his bright blue eyes. They always gave him away.
“Stefan, is everything okay?”
“He wants you.”
I stilled, and he continued to look out into the darkness. “Huh? I don't understand.”
“What’s there not to understand? Cavendish thinks you’re swell and wants to be with you,” he retorted.
Be with me!? But I received no such inclinations from Kai. “There must be a misunderstanding.”
“No misunderstandings. He was pretty clear about his intentions.”
I stared at his profile, confused. My husband wasn’t the jealous type. Sure, Kai was attentive tonight, but Stefan wouldn’t make wild accusations just because a man paid me attention. Kai must have said something explicit.
“When did he talk to you about this?”
“When you went into the tepee for story time.”
“That couldn’t have been longer than fifteen minutes.”
Stefan shrugged. “It was long enough for that conversation.”
It made no sense. Even if Kai was interested in me—something I would never reciprocate—why would he approach my husband and not me? He was practically begging for a beating, and while Stefan wasn’t the jealous type, no man would tolerate someone making advances on his wife.
They must have had a verbal altercation, though I didn’t recall hearing raised voices nor did I notice any awkwardness when Kai saw us off. He merely slipped his business card to Stefan and asked him to keep in touch.
“What exactly did he say?”
“That he wants a wife and a family, and mine is exactly what he’s looking for.”
He told me everything then, and I couldn’t believe it. What had we gotten ourselves into? A bored tycoon decided to purchase a family on a whim and play house. Had I heard anything more outrageous? I would be insulted if it wasn’t so comical.
Stefan was in no joking mood, though. While he spoke, he looked out into the dark rather than at me. Unease settled in my stomach at his despondency.
Something wasn’t right.
It was appalling that a man wanted to buy his wife, sure, but weren’t moguls known for their eccentric impulses? A crazy man’s nonsensical spouting was nothing to be torn up over. Why was Stefan acting like someone died? This was no big tragedy because nothing would come of it other than a good laugh.
Unless he didn’t dismiss the proposal as lunacy.
“What did you say to his offer?” I asked apprehensively.
He turned to face me. In the moonlight, it was impossible to read his expressions. “What do you think I said?”
I wanted to believe Stefan said, ‘Hell, no,’ perhaps even flipped the table in rage over Kai’s boldness. But his melancholy didn’t give me the confidence. “I can’t say for sure because of your long face.”
“I refused, of course. I said no.”
“But you have reservations about whether it was the right decision.”
He slanted his head in my direction. Blond hair hung in loose waves around his face. “Why would you say that?”
I took a step toward him. Gentle August breeze played with my hair and I pushed it out of my face. “Because if you were certain, you wouldn’t look so unhappy right now.”
He returned to his pensive contemplation, looking out into the dark. “I’m happy with my decision.”
“You’re not. It’s written all over your face. And if you seem unhappy now, you must’ve seemed unhappy in front of him. It sounds like he’s the kind of person who can sniff that out. You know it, too, and instead of shutting him down completely, you kept the door open to the possibility.”
He said nothing for a long while, then whispered, “A man approached me about becoming my wife’s second husband. He admitted to loving another woman in the past but didn’t proposition her husband because I’m in a desperate enough situation to consider his filth. I feel worthless despite walking away.”
That was what I loved about Stefan. He wasn’t thickheaded like other men, and if I called him out, he had no problem admitting to his flaws and insecurities.
I sighed. “I’m sorry. I hate that I brought someone like him into our lives. I’m just glad it’s behind us.”
Whenever we had a difficult conversation, this was around the time Stefan rushed over to hug me and make me feel better. This time, he stared into the vast, looking anything but glad it was over.
Something felt hollow inside me. “It is behind us, isn’t it?”
“I already told you that I refused him.”
The answer didn’t ease my heart, which was suddenly shaking. “That’s not what I asked. I asked whether it was behind us. Or are you tempted to call him and accept the offer?”
“Am… What are you doing?”
“Asking you a question you’re trying to dodge.”
“Leave it alone, Am.”
The hell? For a second, I considered marching out in the middle of the conversation. Then I thought of the more dramatic approach of slapping him across the face. At long last, I settled on extracting the truth.
“Are you or are you not tempted to accept his offer?” I was calm to cover the fright.
“I said, drop it, Am.”
“We both know I won’t. You want something more extraordinary than our modest lives, and it’s time we talk about it. Because no matter how much you cherish our family, you can’t stop thinking about the greener grass on the other side.”
“It’s practical to want financial security.” He spoke with insinuation, cognizant that I had caught on. “There’s nothing wrong with having a nice house and a sizeable savings account.”
My heart started pounding. Before dinner, Stefan said he loved me more than anything. Nothing could separate us. How quickly the tides had turned. Suddenly, practicality took precedence over his undying love. “We can still have those things. It might take us longer on the path we’re on, but I’ll love every moment of the journey as long as we are together. I need to know you feel the same way.”
Stefan appeared somber. “I love you more than anything, you know that. But I wonder how different our lives could’ve been. Don’t you?”
“Never,” I huffed. “Do you remember my life in high school? My mom ran off when I was young, my father had no interest in me and worked around the clock, and I came home to an empty house every day. Sometimes I’d scream to see if anyone could hear me and confirm I was still alive. Loneliness makes you doubt your existence. But then you came into my life and made me feel seen. I was in awe the first time you invited me over for dinner. Everything here was full of life and crying children. I was addicted to the chaos and never wanted to return to my quiet home. I chose this life, and I’m happy with my decision. If I had to do it all over again, I’d make the same choice.”
He shook his head. “You say that now. Will you feel this way in five years when we want children but can’t afford to feed another mouth?”
“We’ll find a way to make it work,” I said quietly.
“We can’t even afford co-pays for doctor’s visits. It feels catastrophic whenever one of the kids gets sick. For fuck’s sake, Am, you passed out from exhaustion at work and we’re no closer to catching up on overdue bills. Our lives aren’t sustainable for the long haul, especially if we want to start a family of our own. What’s the point of honesty and dignity when this road only leads to disappointment and broken dreams?”
This was a blow to the heart. Stefan had practically confessed what I had already guessed. The reason he didn’t ruthlessly shut Kai down or burn bridges was because he wanted to accept the offer. He had purposefully left the window open for future discussions.
Our relationship shifted with his one admission. There was no turning back now.
My first instinct was to yell at him for the audacity. But my second was to notice how close he was sitting to the edge; it would be difficult to survive a tumble from here.
Now that he had confessed, his gloomy face and perched butt on the ledge made me nervous for a different reason. He hadn’t come up to the rooftop in years, but tonight, someone stripped him of his dignity.
I had long suspected that Stefan was depressed based on his dissatisfactions with life. Sometimes, he was lively, playing with the kids and laughing without restraint. Other times, he would go through the motions like life was mundane and he was simply waiting for it to end.
He wouldn’t actually… No way!
“Stefan,” I said quietly. “Why did you come up to the rooftop tonight?”
No response.
“Stefan.”
“I wasn’t going to do anything,” he said quickly, fully aware he could never lie to me.
My voice shook. “You’re scaring me.”
“I really wasn’t going to do anything, I swear,” he insisted, voice laced with pain. “I don’t want another man to become your second husband. You’re mine, always and forever. But I can’t stop thinking about how easy your life will be if you marry him.”
“My God, Stefan.” I wanted to shake him, scream at him. How could he think our lives would be better off without him?
“I’m trying to be practical here, Am. Kai can give you everything. He could set the kids up for life. You won’t agree to his proposition as long as I’m in the picture. I just thought… if I can’t do anything right in life, maybe I can do it in death.”
My throat was suddenly dry. I felt claustrophobic even though we were outside in the open air. With great difficulty, I opened my mouth. “Let’s talk about this inside, okay? Please, please just get off the ledge and come with me. You can tell me whatever’s on your mind. I won’t get mad, and I’ll listen with an open mind. I’ll consider everything on the table. I’ll be openminded, I promise.”
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, with a heavy sigh, he rose to his feet. Silently, he followed me down the ladder and inside the house. We chose the kitchen table for the conversation because it was farthest from the kids’ rooms.
His eyes were down, staring at a point on the tabletop. “I love you more than anything in this world,” Stefan started with a heavy soul. “Nothing can change that, and no one can break us, not even Kai. Do you believe me? Say you believe me.”
“I believe you,” I spoke with a bitter taste in my mouth.
Kai Cavendish seemed perfectly pleasant while he was my patient. Sure, I had my concerns about this dinner and his intentions. For starters, numerous medical professionals attended to him, yet he only treated me like his savior. Why not thank the entire team? It was also odd that he invited us to dinner on the night we were in a pickle about celebrating the twins.
The setup at the restaurant raised further red flags for me. Toy cars, Barbies, unlimited chocolate fondue—it was a kid’s dream party. Why would Kai Cavendish put in so much effort for us? We were nobodies.
Everything had lined up a little too perfectly, including the date, and whenever something was too good to be true, it usually was.
However, the twins were so happy about celebrating their birthdays that I kept my apprehensions to myself. I wouldn’t have if I knew of Kai’s layers of manipulations. I hated him for introducing doubt in my marriage and for destroying Stefan’s dignity.
How long had this been brewing? Did he develop a crush over dinner because he saw me outside of work clothes? Or did it start when I was his nurse? There was no way he merely saw me and fell madly in love at first sight, for this wasn’t love, it was a whim.
Maybe our paths had crossed before, and he orchestrated the chance encounter at the hospital.
Impossible.
No one could meet the Prince of Darster and forget. I was married, not dead. If his looks didn’t imprint on you, his captivating presence would. It was the closest I had come to meeting royalty.
But I had written him off as someone you dished to your girlfriends about—the hot, rich eye candy who was the total package. He was the fantasy man that women gossiped about during spin class—our version of locker room talk. The conversations were never serious because someone like him was unattainable.
So, what the hell was going on?
“You’re enough for me,” I spoke slowly, weighing each word so nothing set Stefan off or sent him running upstairs. “I’m sorry Cavendish made you doubt that. I love you. I love you so damn much it hurts. I get that life’s been unfair to you, but what you were thinking of doing wasn’t the solution.”
“Do you see a better option?” he asked, sounding broken. “I can jump off the roof and get out of the way. I can even bear to share you with him. What I can’t bear anymore is failing my family on a daily basis. I can’t buy you a decent gift or take you on a proper date. It pains me when the kids are the only ones who sit out on class field trips because we can’t afford the fee. I can’t do it anymore, Am. I just can’t.”
A few hours ago, we were madly in love. Now, his only choices were to give up his life or share me with another man. Feeling deflated, I whispered, “Our lives may be hard, but it’s honest, dignified, and full of love. We can’t corrupt our values with Kai’s perverse ideas.”
His demeanor brightened as he had expected my wrath, not a subdued tone. If he hadn’t admitted to suicidal thoughts, perhaps I would have spoken with venom in my voice. It was simply impossible to yell at someone who had suffered a shock and considered a morbid ending, but I sensed the return of hope as we dove into this discussion. “Our morals aren’t all that different from his. He’s tired of coming back to an empty house and wants a lively family. If anyone understands loneliness, it’s you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t try to forge a connection between us or make me feel bad for him. We’re nothing alike. He’s a monster preying on people’s weaknesses and desires. He’s trying to break us.”
“No, he’s giving us an opportunity to be together. We’ll still live in the same house, except now, we’ll actually get to spend time together. Money can provide more than luxury. The real win here is our freedom. Imagine if we had nannies and could scale back at work. Even if you split time between him and me, we’ll have more quality time together than we do now.”
“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. You’re rationalizing something you know is wrong.”
“What’s wrong is you passing out after an eighteen-hour shift. Work could finally be a choice, not a mandatory obligation. The kids will also be set for life. Private schools, trust funds, college tuitions, childcare.”
“We can’t introduce another person in our marriage just to push our obligations onto him,” I snapped, frustrated. “We should teach the kids how to navigate life with the resources within their means, not rely on a rich man’s generosity.”
“We can still give them that guidance. But the truth is, they can have extraordinary lives from our one sacrifice. Kai can secure them a future we never dared to dream for them, whereas we’re one mistake away from ruining it. How can we not consider it for their sake? It’s the difference between becoming the next president or the next custodian.”
The scenarios were irrefutable. Then again, loads of successful people came from families like ours. Perhaps there was no correct answer, and we were both a little wrong and a little right in our assessment.
I closed my eyes. “I know this opportunity is tempting, and I want the kids to thrive as well, but at what cost? Are you okay with another man touching me?”
“He guaranteed me that he won’t touch you without permission.”
It took everything in me to keep my promise to not get mad. “He also said I had to be willing to make things work and sleep in the same bed half the time. A wife who doesn’t consummate the marriage isn’t willing to make it work . Not to mention, this man claims he won’t take outside lovers. It’s naive to think he’ll live like a monk, not when he’s paying a million dollars a year for a wife. He might not force me, but he has made it clear that sex is expected.”
Stefan stilled. Just when I thought I had cornered him, he shattered my heart. “Then I’ll find a way to deal with it. As long as I’m the only one in your heart, I can handle it. We can adopt a ‘don't ask, don't tell’ policy. Even if you’re married to two people, I’ll always be married and faithful to only you. No one else will own my heart or body because there isn’t space left for anyone else. If you feel even a fraction of how deeply I love you, we’ll be okay.”
The absence of his outrage surprised me. He was too compliant—no indignations from a man who claimed to revere the sanctity of marriage. No disgust from someone who detested cheaters.
But was it cheating if my husband consented? I suppose not.
He was confident I would never love Kai rather than being horrified that someone would lay claim to my body. That left me feeling betrayed, though both men had pledged their fealty to me.
“You’re willing to share me?” I asked, stunned.
“I’m willing to look the other way as long as you and the kids have a better life. I believe our love can prevail over any trial. A physical relationship with someone else, one we both sign off on, can’t diminish what we have. Because no matter what, he’ll never have your heart.”
I had gained new insights. Suddenly, there was no place for love in lovemaking. It was okay to fuck another man as long as he didn’t hold the same significance as Stefan. At least, that was the idea.
There was nothing but acquiescence from Stefan, and I couldn’t gauge his sincerity. The truth lay somewhere between wanting this for the family and for himself. Because if I agreed, his life would change, too.
When we left for different colleges, everyone suggested we break up. After all, long-distance relationships were destined to fail. But we were young and madly in love. There were doubts, sure, and in my book, there was no bigger humiliation than cheating. Then he reminded me that our love was so profound that cheating couldn’t exist. I held on to the reassurance and married him right after graduation, showing the naysayers the power of true love.
If I agreed to this preposterous scheme, we could no longer boast of our epic love story. We would be prostitutes who sold our love.
But if I disagreed, it would ruin my family’s future. We only had this one chance to turn our lives around.
It was perplexing. I should have had the moral high ground, yet it felt like I was in the wrong. If I refused to take one for the team, I would doom everyone to a life of mediocrity. The money would taunt us whenever something went awry. Every overdue bill, the kids’ doctor’s visits, problems at work—it would always come back to this missed opportunity, and eventually, Stefan would resent me for it.
Would he climb up the rooftop again and think about ending it?
With horror, it dawned on me that I had no choice but to accept the preposterous offer. Turning it down would cause more harm than accepting it.