Hate Mates

3. Benjamin

THREE

Benjamin

I ’ve never eaten as a cat. I don’t even know if I have shifted since I was a baby. When Poppy pushes over a bowl with scraps of meat, scrambled eggs, and cheese toward me, I take a tentative bite. It’s good, not that I would ever think the chef here would put out anything bad, even leftovers.

Glancing at Poppy, she grins at me, her tongue draped over her front teeth. There really is no telling a shifter from a “normal” animal of that type. If I saw her like this previously, I would never think she were a shifter, just another Shiba Inu who slipped its collar and went for a run.

Maybe that’s what all those dog sighting posts are: shifters out having a fun run before going back into hiding their true nature. Would it be crass to ask her about that after we can change back? Should I even ask her anything? I don’t even know how to say thanks for…everything. For getting me out of the dining room. For finding me a space to shift unseen. For keeping me warm and safe. For making sure I didn’t have to stay hungry and thirsty or find my own food while stuck like this. For making sure I’m not alone.

The moon’s fullness ticks away like the secondhand on a clock, tiny fractions of its power over us falling away. I’m not sure how I was so unaware of the sensation before. The moon’s pull is as strong as the one I have that tells me where Poppy is. If I’m lucky, that one will fade when I’m back in my human body, when I have to hope the engagement ring is safe, and I can manage to secure my proposal and family’s future.

I can’t even imagine the voicemails and texts waiting for me. Staying a cat might be easier.

Hours pass as I climb—badly—to a windowsill and perch there to watch the world go by. On this side of the buildings, it’s mostly trucks and bikes dodging one another as they find their way to their chosen location’s delivery site. I knew that what guests saw in the restaurants, stores, and galleries was not the full picture, but to see the grit behind the scenes? It’s humbling. I’ll never second guess the price again. From safely tucked behind Poppy, I’d watched the morning deliveries come during a frosty dawn, breath wreathing around the workers’ faces as they hauled plastic bins, used forklifts to move pallets, and swapped news or gossip about the car accident that changed so many things.

My name was never mentioned. I owe her a lot.

Pressure forms in my left nostril, a sneeze taunting me with the threat of knocking me off my perch. I hop down to the floor and let out the sneeze, my whole head shaking like I need an exorcism, and then the cement comes up at my face before it all goes black.

When I wake up, the world is much smaller again, or I’m much larger, and I have clothing and hands instead of fur and paws. I’m me again.

“I didn’t look. Well, I tried not to look. It was hard to get you into your underwear without seeing anything, but I promise I didn’t touch you like that. Consent and all. Umm…. I should go. I wanted to make sure you were awake and okay before I left you here. That seemed like your first shift in a long while, if ever. If you need a phone to call for a ride or anything, you are welcome to come into the restaurant through those doors. There’s a bathroom to the right with a small shower, a phone charging station, and an old rotary phone. You can clean up a bit and call home, or yeah, whatever.” Poppy nervously shifts her weight side to side. “I’m going to go, Benji. Bye. Good luck and stuff.”

“Um, yeah. Thanks, Poppy.” It seems too little for all she’s done for me, but I can’t really put much more together.

Sitting behind the boxes, I turn on my phone as she walks away, and with each step, it feels like I’m going to puke. Maybe it’s just the effect of eating as a cat.

Maybe it’s what happens when you’re separated from your mate after twenty-four hours of close contact . I shush that internal voice. I can’t hear about that. I have an almost-fiancée to go fix things with and a family to reassure. I text George, not yet ready to deal with my parents.

Days pass, and with each one my parents skim the newspaper and the reports from our public relations team. “Benjamin, it’s been a full week now, and there’s nothing about you other than photos of the ruined proposal and questions of when you’ll try again. The family is safe.”

My skin tightens with each word, the sunroom’s heat becoming stifling as I’m praised for not screwing up a situation that wasn’t in any way my fault. I need fresh air, to escape them and their focus on image over reality.

I never told them about Poppy staying with me through the ordeal. If I had, I’m not sure what they would do to her. Her name never came up; I only told them the server saw that I was covered in glass and took me to the employee changing room to wash my face and rinse my eyes in case of any shards. For all they know, I had to hole up somewhere to avoid the rain. It’s safer for her that way.

The paper rustles as he sets it down and smooths a wrinkle from the front-page story about construction delays downtown. “Your mother and I have taken the liberty of inviting Miss Celestis and her parents here for dinner.”

I clear my throat. “She ended things with me when I disappeared.”

“You’ll just have to un -end things.” Father gives me a look that says he’ll accept no argument. “I’ve put too much time on this arranged marriage, Benjamin. We’ll have drinks and a series of small plates in the library, the main course in the formal dining room, and then retire to the family lounge for dessert and your proposal. Your sisters will join us for dessert, perhaps dinner if they aren’t too….” My father waves his hand without continuing the sentence, but I know too well what he means. They’re a lot on a good day.

“Yes, Father. May I be excused to go outside for some fresh air? I want to prepare myself for the proposal.” I’m excused with a nod as my parents continue talking about the accident at the Café de l’Illusion. It has been the only topic of conversation since George brought me home to them both standing on the curving staircase out front.

The sudden sunburn sensation increases as I clear my dishes to the tray beside the door. It’s gotten worse the longer I go from my shift; it’s probably some aftereffect of it. Hopefully if I can manage to get through the next full moon without changing forms, it’ll be better. In a different family, I would ask what they know about the feeling. Here, you don’t ask about the family’s dirty secret.

A bell rings loud and clear through the main floor of the house, the sound of church bells marking the presence of an outsider. “I bet that’s the florists. Benjamin, be a dear and let them in on your way outside. All our staff are preparing for tonight. I’ve ordered blue roses and those indigo calla lilies Starline is so fond of.”

Picking flowers to fill vases just to toss them outside to rot with the compost seems like a bad omen for a union of two families. “What about the sunflowers I like?” I call back to my parents as I head toward the front door.

“You’re getting a bride. You don’t need flowers.”

I don’t need?—

Thoughts fall away as my hands close on the doorknob and tug it open. Standing there in a hot pink and black corset and ruffled skirt, her open hoodie flapping in the breeze, Poppy paces back and forth when she sees me. “I—” She hugs herself tightly and stops in front of me. “I promised myself I would stay away, but we have a problem. I have a problem, I mean. I’m going into heat, and you’re my mate.”

“Heat?”

Poppy shivers at the sound of my voice as if I grabbed her. “I haven’t had a heat cycle in six years, seven this summer. We suppressed that one with medication since I was just 18. Now, the doctors expect me to deal with it on my own. I can go to some cabin away from everyone until it’s over, or….” Her voice drops to a whisper. “I can have you fill me. Please stop the burning ache inside me. Benji, I need you.”

I remember the “when two shifters love each other very much” talk. When unpaired mates are near each other, the hormones are triggered to encourage…bonding. Well, fucking at least. In heterosexual couples, one goes into heat, and if they are kept apart, the other tends to go into a rut until they’ve connected explosively.

My virgin cock has been making its presence known more and more since I left that garage building, and I’ve jacked off so many times I had to order in more than one bottle of lube. If she’s going into heat, it makes sense of why my body is doing this. “You going off to the woods won’t help. I would end up following you. You could find someone else to—” My mouth closes on the last word, not letting me say that she could get fucked repeatedly through her heat cycle until it eases. The thought of her letting anyone touch her…. My hands clench and open repeatedly, ready to fight my competition.

“I already tried that, you idiot.” Poppy begins pacing again, her arms over her tits, and I’d swear she’s pinching her nipples as she talks. “I got so far as naked and the tip inside me, when I just couldn’t.” She gets closer to me, and I can smell the sweet, almost grape juice scent of her skin and hair. Her pupils have expanded, and she looks at me hungrily. Oh, yes, she’s definitely squeezing her chest, and I fight the urge to grab her and put my face in the valley of her cleavage. “I grabbed my clothes and left. I tried again—twice—with?—”

I fling my hand up, silencing her. Rage burns through me, and I long to destroy the lovers she tried to use to fix the burning. Mine .

We can’t stand out here like this, not where anyone can see. I start and stop several times in my attempt to invite her in long enough for me to find the nearest set of car keys and get out of here. “Poppy, we should?—”

A hand claps down on my shoulder. “Ben, who’s this?” Leo takes a look at Poppy and smiles. “Leonard Devona.”

“Go away,” I hiss even as she tells him her name. “Leo, if you value your life, you will go the fuck inside and not tell anyone….” My words become a sigh, and I drop my shoulders, defeated in even this, as our parents come up behind him.

“Is the florist having issues, darling? Oh. You are not the florist.” My mother makes it sound equally cold and just pleasant enough to not be rude. “You’re that girl.”

I can’t let her say things like that, not to Poppy. Not after how she saved me. “Mother, this is Poppy. She’s the server who saved me at the Café when the glass was shattered by the cars hitting the wall.” I look at my mate, need making her claw herself to stop from throwing herself at me, and I try to draw strength from the well of it she must have to endure what she does every day. “Poppy saw me get wet and made sure I could change in private. She shifted and led me to a safe space to stay until the moon released us. Poppy kept me warm, and now she’s here because she’s my mate and?—”

“And she’s in heat,” my father continues. “This conversation should be indoors where others aren’t privy to family matters.”

“Perhaps I don’t want to go in there with you.” Her teeth snap on the words, and I wince as my jaw aches at the sound. What was almost cute in her dog form sounds painful as a human.

Knowing this is all about to blow up very badly, I step between Poppy and my family. “Poppy has been through enough, and we need to discuss things without you. I’m going to take her over to the pool house to talk in private. That way you can still get ready for company, and we’re not speaking out in the open. It’s win-win for everyone. Fair?”

Father looks ready to argue, but my brother manages to coax him back to the shadows of our home’s interior. “A half hour, and then I expect you back here to get ready for this afternoon and evening, Benjamin. Keep your pants on, young man.”

I don’t reply; lying doesn’t go well in the household, but I let him assume I’ve agreed to it all for now. “We can follow the veranda around to the back and cut across to the pool house from there, Poppy.” Careful not to touch her and make everything that much worse for her, I lead Poppy away from the unfolding drama and down the heated sidewalk. “The building is warm, but if you prefer the cold air, we can open windows.”

Her shivers have nothing to do with the temperature, and she lets out a moan as one of her hands brushes against me in the doorway. My cock hardens at the sound, and I swallow the rush of want that hits me and makes my mouth water for a taste of her.

“I shouldn’t be here. Your dad will have me sent away. He looked ready to murder me.”

Grasping the back of a cabana chair, I try to come up with anything helpful for the situation. It’s my fault after all. She wouldn’t be in heat if she hadn’t stayed with me through the storm. Abandoning her to what will become increasingly painful before it triggers my own possessive need seems counterproductive to everything and just downright rude to not at least consider the alternative.

“For what? Being a shifter? I mean, they could try, but you haven’t done anything wrong, and I would defend you.”

Poppy sits down on the white and blue floral cushioned couch. “You would? Why?” Her lust fractures a moment, and she leans down to fix the laces on one boot, nearly popping her chest free from the top.

“Because you’re obviously a good person, you saved me, and you’re my mate. I’d out my family if I had to.”

Her nails catch on the hot pink fishnets, and she rubs her legs vigorously. “This is getting worse with you standing there. I need to make myself come, and you probably don’t want to be here for that. Not with the whole fiancée situation.”

“She’s not my fiancée, not yet.” I don’t elaborate that it’s supposed to happen later today. “Technically, she ended things with my voicemail during the full moon. I haven’t had a chance to speak with her in person since then.”

Poppy sits upright like a cord pulled her spine ballerina straight. “Oh.”

“So, what can help? I know my family has suppressants for my sisters when they come of age to have their first heat cycle. I could get them.” She shakes her head and digs her fingernails into the tops of her thighs as she rubs her legs together. “Too late for that?” I guess.

One hand slides between her thighs, disappearing under the ruffles of her skirt. “I need to come with my mate’s cock inside of me, and have you fill me with your cum. It’ll ease the fire in my veins sensation and the constant need.” She whimpers, her breath catching, and I try not to watch as she obviously rubs her pussy right there in front of me. “I’m sorry. I have to.”

I may be a virgin, but I’m not inexperienced. “It’s not your fault. Look, I know enough about heat to know it’ll feel better if I’m the one touching you.” The youngest of the boys, I was still home when my sisters got the talk, and I might have hidden under Cassia’s bed while my aunt came over to explain what it’s like for a shifter in heat. Closing the distance between us, I sit down beside Poppy on the couch. “If you would want me when you’re not in heat, that is. I don’t want you to feel obligated to let me because of hormones and stuff.” This will go down as the most awkward “do you want me to finger fuck you and lick your pussy until you come on my face?” discussion ever.

She climbs onto my lap, forcing me back against the cushions, and grabs my hand, bringing it down to the absolutely soaking wet heat of her pussy. I guess that’s consent handled . “Please.” No panties get in my way, and the urge to just pop open the fly on my slacks hits me hard enough my hand shakes. With her so aroused, my trembling fingers quickly stroke along her slit and end up teasing her entrance far faster than I planned. No going slow for either of us, I guess.

Smiling, I bring my lips to her ear. “Since you’re a Shiba when you’ve shifted, do you do the Shiba scream? Can I make you scream?” I plunge two fingers up into her pussy as she gasps.

“Benji!” No one has called me that but her since we were kids. She reaches down, grabs my forearm, and begins to raise and lower herself on my fingers. Uncurling my thumb from the angle she’s fucking me, I let it brush across her clit and begin circling it as much as I can as she rides my hand. “I’m…I need….”

“I know. I’m not going to be done with just this one. I’ll get you there again. Take what you need from me.” Thrusting my fingers faster, I curve them inside her. She squeezes my fingers so tight I don’t know if I’ll get them back, and her body stiffens on top of me as she comes. Her breath rushes out in a silent scream before a wave of warmth hits me as it leaves her body.

“Better?” I ask, hoping to get a minute to take care of myself so that I don’t make a mess on her, her clothes, or the expensive rug.

“Mostly. I have a few minutes until I need to come again.” Poppy climbs off me and lets out a ragged breath. “Sorry.”

Chuckling, I slide down to kneel on the rug, licking my fingers before I answer her. “It’s okay. There are worse ways to spend a day than a beautiful woman coming while sitting on my lap.”

“I didn’t squish you?”

I shake my head and pat my thighs. “Nope. I’m pretty sturdy.” Leaning in closer, I carefully slip my pussy-scented hand into my pocket and casually start squeezing my cock through my underwear and the linen fabric of my slacks. I hope my pants are as sturdy. I’ve never felt myself this hard, and the barbs are throbbing as they turn the first inch and a half or so of my shaft beneath the glans into a French tickler.

“I can tell you’re aroused, Benji.” Her voice drops to a husky tone, and my hips jolt forward. “Do you want some help?”

Squeaking out a reply, “Yes? And no,” I add. “Umm. Well, there’s only one way to really say this and that’s the quick and painful way.” The heat rising in my cheeks has nothing to do with arousal. “I’m a virgin.” There. I said it. “Cat shifters don’t have a normal dick, and the human women I dated were very much not allowed to find out about that. That meant, no sex until marriage and there were enough NDA protections in place.” Breathing rapidly after forcing all that out in one breath, I lean back on my heels, my cock still firmly squeezed through my pocket.

“Oh.” Her lips stay open in a perfect o as she looks at me with lust already building hotter in her gaze. “And a virgin whose first time is with their mate can’t get it up for anyone else unless the mate dies.”

I don’t bother to respond to that part of things; she understands the dilemma. If I fuck her, I can’t do my family duty. “But you’re in heat, and I am not an asshole despite public opinion.

“Fuck, Poppy, you were my best friend when we were little. I remember that, and I am pretty damned clueless most of the time. That didn’t stop from anything either of us did wrong. In a perfect world, we would have grown up together as friends until we were old enough for that to turn into more. Instead….”

Yeah, well, we both know what happened instead. My family ruined hers.

Her thighs are beginning to press together again, and I can feel the temperature rising with her need. There’s not much time left before I have to get her off again, and I’d rather say all this while she’s somewhat lucid. “And you could have left me to shift in front of everyone, but you didn’t. You took care of me. We will have a lot to figure out, but the least I can do is take care of you. Take care of both of us.”

Poppy growls. “I will not be a pity fuck, no matter how much I need it.”

Fuck. I’m screwing this up more and more by the moment.

“Poppy, never. You would never and could never be a pity fuck. You’re my mate. You were my best friend. You can be everything, in time. We just have to get through this heat cycle first and then figure it out.” I don’t know how we’ll figure that out, but that’s a future me problem.

She doesn’t say anything as she reaches down and pops the laces on her corset. I guess words aren’t needed when getting naked is an answer all its own. One by one, the laces slip free of the grommets, and the ruffly fabric beneath falls to the side, displaying creamy white breasts with dark pink peaks, her skin sparkling with some sort of makeup or lotion.

“Do you always have glitter?” I tease, not knowing what else to say as I lean closer until my mouth hovers an inch above her nipple. “May I?”

“Glitter lotion, and yes.” Her hands grab my head, pulling me to her. “Undo your pants. I need you. I can’t hold back much more.”

Tasting her, licking, sucking, and even biting at her breast, I squeeze the head of my cock hard to keep from coming at the sweet taste of her skin.

“Benji, get naked.” The words are soft, broken with gasps and moans as I go from one nipple to the other, but the command is still there.

Releasing my dick, I make quick work of my clothes until I’m naked, and she’s only wearing a skirt and open hoodie. I look at her, wondering if I can be enough to please her. The satisfied smile she wears becomes teasing, and I watch spellbound as she tugs her skirt up her thighs and leans back so that I can see her pussy. She takes her time looking me up and down, and I’d swear she’s the cat with the purring rumble I feel between us as she stares at my cock.

“Fuck me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” If the barbs do any damage, I’d never forgive myself.

Her hands close around my dick and squeeze. “You’re my mate, as you’ve reminded me. If you could hurt me, you wouldn’t be my mate.”

I groan as she slides her hands up and down, jacking me. No one has gotten this far with me, ever. “Poppy….”

“Mhmm?” She smiles as one of her fingers slides over the head of my cock, and I nearly come in her hands. “Ooh. Sensitive.” Poppy glances between us and then brings her fingers to her mouth to taste my precum. “I’d offer to blow you, but I really want you to come inside me.”

A sudden chill surrounds my dick as she releases her grip, and I whine at the loss. “What if…?” There are other possibilities from heat, and I can’t imagine the unfolding drama from that.

“One moment at a time. We’ll figure it out.” She turns over on the couch and kneels on the cushions, leaning over the back. “Please, Benji.”

Her round ass is half covered by the ruffle of her skirt, and I skim both hands up over the cheeks and squeeze. “You’re perfect.” At this angle, her vulva are clearly visible between her spread thighs, and as Poppy bends even further forward, there’s no missing how wet she is, how ready she is for me.

My fingers find her entrance and gently tease the wetness there, dipping inside of her. “This is where you want me?”

She presses back into my fingers, thrusting herself onto me. “ Need . Please.” Whining, she begs with every inch of her body.

I bring my hand to my mouth and taste her again, wishing we had time for me to go down on her and enjoy the sweetness from the source. Her heat needs are not about me, however. “When you’re satiated, I’m going to tongue fuck your pretty cunt until your knees shake.”

Standing and taking ahold of my dick, I block out the what ifs waiting outside this building. All that matters right now if that my mate needs what I can give her.

Brushing the tip against her, I hold my breath as she wriggles her hips. No teasing ; got it. I align us and watch as my cock head lodges at Poppy’s entrance. Slowly, I push into her, careful as my barbs get squeezed by the incredible heat of her.

Fuck .

“Tell me if I hurt you.”

“More!” Poppy doesn’t let me go slow, taking me to the base and then clenching around me with a groan. “Again.”

Pulling back as she leans away from me, we stop with the glans and barbs just barely inside her before thrusting together hard, hips slapping together. My mate. I’m inside my mate, and she’s perfect. Hot, wet, and softer than anything, I can’t imagine something that could feel better around my cock.

Poppy’s hips change angle slightly, her legs lifting her up as she tilts down. “There,” she whimpers, and I feel the reason as her muscles tighten. My spines are brushing her g-spot each thrust.

I feel a nudge against the base of my shaft on each thrust, and it takes a moment for me to realize she’s playing with her clit as I fuck her. Good. I need her to come hard, and we have a lifetime for her to teach me what she likes. I can’t wait to watch her put on a show for me.

It becomes a blur of holding back the building pressure in my balls, gripping her hips as I pull her onto me with each thrust, and grunting with the force as she moans louder and louder with each squeeze around me. Sweating from the fever raging in both of us, I pound into her, the spines of my dick so wet they just feel like a sensitive blur of more pleasure to me with each stroke.

Her body clenches, breath catches, and the pressure around my cock gets so intense I can’t move. She shivers in my arms, and a piercing scream of my name accompanies her orgasm, the walls of her pussy soon milking me to join her. It starts in my toes, tingling and aching, and then becomes a throbbing so intense I bite down on her shoulder as I come, her skin muffling my moan.

“If this…is what you’re like…as a virgin, I can’t wait to see what you’re like with some more practice.” Breathing rapidly, Poppy doesn’t move yet, and little flutters of pulses in her pussy draw out every last drop of cum from my balls.

We stay connected another few minutes, her body finally cooling to a normal temperature, and when my cock has softened enough to slip free, we both groan at the sensation. Cum leaks from her, and I quickly cup my hand against her pussy, catching the drips. “We made a mess.” I push my wet fingers into her, gently fucking my cum back inside her.

Her giggle becomes a whine. “No more. I need a minute!”

“Heat taken care of, I take it?” My cock glistens with her arousal and my ejaculation. I can’t wait to see what it looks like shiny with her saliva.

“For the moment. ‘Thank you’ doesn’t seem quite right to say here.” Poppy grabs a towel from the table behind the couch. “This might help.” The carefully rolled blue fabric protects the couch fabric and gives her a bit of cushioning after our fucking as she sits down. Another covers her like a too-small blanket, and I drape one over my shoulders before putting my pants back on.

“You’re my mate. Your needs are my needs. That’s a forever thing.” I grab her hand and bring it to my lips, realizing as I do so that we haven’t kissed. “I have a question that might be a bit out of sequence given what we just did.” She sleepily turns her head toward me as I ask if I can kiss her. That just seems like something we should do. I have only kissed Starla once, and that was at the winter Gala a few months ago for the cameras.

I want to kiss for love.

“I’d like that.”

It’s my turn to pull her on top of me, and my hands cup her cheeks as I look at her. Shades of cinnamon, rose, and cream, she’s adorable as she smiles the content grin of a well-fucked woman. Not that I’ve seen it before, but I just know. “My beautiful mate.”

Our lips meet as eyes drift closed, and the feel is almost as good as being inside her when her tongue touches mine briefly. When we part, she smiles again and then wriggles. “If you kiss me like that again, I’m going to need you to get hard really quick.”

Even with her being in heat, I think it might take me a bit of time. “We could take this to a bed and be more comfortable.” I don’t think I had actual sex in mind when I lead her back to the pool house.

“I’m not sure your family will want me there.”

I shrug and then loop my arms around her waist, holding her to me. “Star should be arriving soon for a redo on the proposal, which isn’t coming.” I quickly continue to stop the heat possession from building in her. “Besides, I want you there. You were my first—happily,” I add, “—and that means that they’ll have to get used to the idea. I have two older brothers, and two younger sisters. That’s more than enough political and economic pawns. I can be the one who marries for love.”

She repeats the words, testing them almost, and snuggles closer. “You never have to worry about rainy days with me.”

“I’ll dance in the full moon rain joyfully, knowing that it let me reconnect with you. Will you allow me to earn the right to be your partner?”

She kisses me quickly, her nose brushing mine. “We have a lot of missing time to catch up on.”