34. Gabriela
Chapter 34
Gabriela
Christmas Eve
Cora: Just come to my place. We can do a Christmas Eve sleepover with Mireya. We can bake cookies and watch movies. It'll be fun.
I don’t think Mireya would be okay sleeping somewhere that isn’t her bed. Plus, I can’t run away from being lonely, Cora.
He’s a fucking pendejo if he lets you go. I’m just saying.
You deserve better.
I love him Cora. Like, really love him. But I know that it’s not good for either of us if he can’t get his emotions in check. I wouldn’t feel safe with him being around.
You don’t think he’d lose it in front of Mireya, do you?
No, he adores her. And she loves him too. I can see it in her eyes every time he is around.
Do you think he loves you?
I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out.
* * *
I re-read every single text he has sent me from the moment my silence started. Texts that he knew I wouldn’t reply to.
I miss the sound of your voice.
I know I’m not supposed to be contacting you, but you are all I think about Gabriela. You are the only woman I see. I’ve been yours since the third grade.
I’m not giving up.
Please don’t give up on me.
[Reina - C.R.O] Give it a listen. Please.
I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.
* * *
Christmas Day
The morning light sneaks through the blinds, casting a soft, warm glow over the living room. Mireya’s excited giggles fill the space as she tears into her gifts, her eyes lighting up at each new toy. I smile, watching her, but my heart feels heavy. It’s supposed to be a joyful time—a day of peace—but the silence between me and Joaquín lingers, suffocating.
Cora’s message from last night flashes through my mind again. She’s right, in a way. I do deserve better. But the weight of the love I feel for him is so intense, so real, that it drowns out any clarity. I still hear his voice, even in the quiet moments, as if he’s standing right beside me, apologizing, asking for forgiveness.
I want to give in so badly.
I try to focus on Mireya’s joy and on the Christmas magic that she brings. But in the background, the echo of his texts is constant, impossible to ignore.
I glance at my phone again, half-expecting another message from him, but nothing new. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I just need time to breathe to let the heartache subside before I can face him again.
Mireya runs over to me, holding up a sparkly pink bracelet she’s made herself, her small hands proudly showing it off. “Look, Mama! I made this for you!” she says, her voice bubbling with excitement.
Mama, my sister, called me Mama. I knew it would happen. I just wasn’t prepared for it to happen so soon. She’s only three, but I know she still remembers mom.
I take the bracelet from her and slip it on my wrist, forcing a smile. “It’s beautiful, baby. Thank you.”
“Can we go to the park later?” she asks, her wide eyes hopeful.
I nod, squeezing her hand. “Of course.”
A few minutes later, the doorbell rings, and I freeze. My heart skips, and I try to shake the anxiety building in my chest. Cora’s face appears at the door, her usual confident smile in place, but I can see the concern in her eyes.
“I thought I’d come by—see how you’re holding up.” She steps inside, glancing around. “Mireya and I have cookies to bake and a whole movie marathon to start.”
“She called me mama,” I whisper, my voice betraying the pain I feel. “I just don't know how to deal with this. With everything.”
Cora gives me a sympathetic look and rubs my shoulder. “Aw, Gabs,” she wraps her arms around me. “I get it. You are doing an amazing job. Mireya calling you mama solidifies that.”
I nod, though it feels like a weight pressing against my chest, making it harder to breathe.
The thought of Joaquín still lingers, like an unresolved song that won’t stop playing in my head. Can he really change? Can he fix himself enough to be what I need, what Mireya needs?
Before I can speak, my phone buzzes, cutting through the silence. My pulse spikes when I see the name on the screen. It’s him.
I miss you more than I ever thought was possible. I’m trying. I swear I’m trying. Merry Christmas, Gabriela. Next year it will be the three of us.
I promise.
I put the phone down quickly, suddenly overwhelmed. Cora notices and steps closer. “You don’t have to respond to him right now, Gabby. You’ve got enough going on.”
I shake my head, biting my lip. “I want to... but I don’t know what to say anymore.”
Cora exhales sharply, crossing her arms. “So don’t say anything. Make him prove it to you. I know it’s easier for me to say it to you because I’m not the one in love with him. But actions speak louder. Let him show you.”
“You’re right,” I whisper, looking down at the bracelet Mireya made for me, the one thing that feels steady in my hands.
It feels like the world has been tipped upside down. I don’t want to make the wrong decision, but I feel lost in the middle of it all.
Cora doesn’t push me further. Instead, she sits down beside me, her presence a silent comfort. For now, it’s all I can do to take it one day at a time, one step at a time.