Chapter 68
***Cass***
“For the love of god, Cass, there are only so many times a woman can listen to this sad crap before she loses the plot and gets a little stabby!” Aunt Jolene stomped into my room in a pair of pink leather boots and denim dress covered in sequins.
She smacked her hand down on the old CD player on the dresser and groaned in relief when the music stopped.
“Oh, sweet silence. How I’ve missed you! ”
I turned the volume up on the TV and The Notebook blared from the little speakers. “Just leave me to my misery!”
“No! It’s like living with Brittney Spears when she went crazy!”
I sat straight up and muted the TV. “You lived with Brittney Spears?”
“Yeah. The impersonator from Arkansas. I’ve definitely told you about her. We lived together during the time period when she was sleeping with her husband’s cousin and her husband’s cousin was cheating on her with her mom.” Aunt Jolene rolled her eyes. “Arkansas, am I right?”
I unmuted the TV and groaned. “Just leave me here to rot.”
She grabbed the remote and sat down next to me, just to have an empty ice cream bowl fall over on her. “Oh, my god. They’ve broken you. You’re living in ice cream filth and blaring the saddest playlist I’ve ever heard while watching the saddest movie ever!”
“It’s your playlist!” Flopping back in bed, I stared at the ceiling and wondered if I’d ever feel like leaving my bed again. “I’m not broken. I’m just…”
“No! No, no, no. No more tears!” She grabbed my face and squeezed my cheeks. “You haven’t left the room in three days, babygirl. You need fresh air and to take a break from being heartbroken.”
I turned away from her and hugged my pillow.
I never wanted to leave the room again. If I had to face the Ford brothers I wouldn’t be able to stand up tall.
I was humiliated and crushed. I’d made a fool of myself.
Worse than that, I’d given my all to someone again when they wanted nothing.
They didn’t want me. Not for more than PR or an easy screw.
I’d been so sure they felt the same way about me.
I thought they loved me and knowing that they didn’t was something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to bounce back from anytime soon.
“Come on, sweetheart. You’re made of tougher stuff than this. Have I ever told you the story of your mom’s first love?”
I rolled over to face her and shook my head.
“Well, I’ll tell you now. But if I do, you have to take a shower and go out with me.”
I cringed and shook my head. “I don’t want anyone to see me, Aunt Jolene.”
Her grin was scary. “I’ll take care of that part. Come on. Get in the shower and I’ll yell the story through the curtain.”
With some coercion and sheer force she managed to get me into the shower. I was still in my clothes when she turned the water on. I screamed as the cold water hit me in the face.
“Alright, hush so you can hear me!” Aunt Jolene perched on the toilet lid and raised her voice.
“So, your mom was fourteen and madly in love with this guy whose name I can’t remember because he was immediately irrelevant after he hurt your mom.
They’d been dating for six months and she thought he was the one.
He was two years older and convinced her that he was ready for sex so she should be, too.
Especially if she wanted to date an older guy. ”
A shiver went down my spine at the idea of my mom being hurt by a stupid boy, despite the water being hotter. “What’d he do?”
“She did what she thought she had to do to keep the boy she loved. She gave up her virginity before she was ready and the next day he laughed at her and told her he couldn’t love a slut who gave it up so fast. She was crushed.”
I shoved my hair out of my face and scowled. “Remember his name so I can hunt him down.”
“Oh, your mom handled him, honey.” She laughed and even slapped her leg.
“She was heartbroken and miserable but she wasn’t willing to let him win.
She went to one of his guy friends at school that she was friends with, too, and she pretended to need his advice.
She told him that she’d had sex with her boyfriend but still had her hymen because he was so small.
She told me that she barely held it together when she cried to him that she thought she would’ve felt something when she lost her virginity.
She butchered her boyfriend’s reputation with one well-planned conversation with a guy she knew wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth closed. ”
I found myself smiling. “She was brilliant.”
“Oh, yeah. She was still devastated by everything but she made damn sure she wasn’t going to be the only one hurting.
The entire school couldn’t stop laughing at her ex-boyfriend and how small his dick had to be.
Unless he wanted to pull it out and show everyone all he could do was claim it was bullshit.
He switched schools after a few months and that was the only time I ever supported bullying.
” She stood up and stuck her head into the shower.
“Your mother was a badass, even when she was crying herself to sleep every night. You are your mother’s child, Cass, and I know you’re tougher than this.
You can’t stop living your life. Cry all you want but don’t give up and hide.
You deserve more than that. And those idiot boys don’t deserve the ability to exist without facing what they did. ”
I swallowed down the desire to argue that hiding was completely fine for me.
“I can’t face them, Aunt Jolene. I’m giving up my position doing massage therapy for the team.
Maybe I’m just weaker than Mom was. The idea of facing them, seeing them look at me with pity, kills me.
I just feel so stupid. I don’t even know if I’m angry at them. I’m just so angry with myself.”
“You should be angry with them! They made you think they were in love with you, sweetheart. And then they dropped a bomb on you in front of the people who hurt you so much last year. They were careless with you. Have they even called to talk to you?”
Tears burned my eyes for the millionth time and I shrugged. “My phone died and I just left it dead. It wouldn’t matter if they did reach out. There’s no saving anything between us. I refuse to be friends with more men who don’t care about me enough.”
“You deserve love, Cass. And you’ll find someone who cherishes you and treats you like you’re everything to them.
” She smiled. “And I need to be honest. You probably won’t find that person where we’re going tonight.
But you also won’t see anyone you don’t want to see there.
Now hurry up and shower. Take those clothes off, weirdo.
I’ll be in my room setting up the beauty station for you. ”
An hour later I was staring at my reflection and wondering what the hell I’d agreed to.
I looked identical to Aunt Jolene with a giant blonde wig, pink sequins, lots of makeup, and even fake boob inserts to help me fill out the dress.
It looked like a Mommy and Me Dolly Parton photoshoot was about to happen.
“This is good.” Aunt Jolene gripped my shoulders and shook me. “We’re definitely going to win tonight.”
I swallowed nervously. “Win?”
She waved my question away. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go, Lil’ Dolly.”
One last glance at my reflection at least showed me that no one would recognize me if they did see me.