Chapter 5 Hard-On For Science
Hard-On For Science
I’m gonna make you downright fall in love with me.
Liam shakes his head, annoyed that the words keep circling his ears despite his efforts to drown them out with music, with the TV blasting, or with his own frustrated humming.
I’m gonna make you downright fall in love with me.
Only someone like Teague Jensen could make such sweetly spoken words sound like a threat.
It was enough that Teague got hired, interfering with Liam’s relaxing summer job.
Now the guy has infiltrated his time off.
It’s all he can think about tonight, long after the sun has set.
Teague’s annoying voice. His cute, maple brown eyes.
That funny thing his mouth does every time he grins like an idiot.
And as if it couldn’t get worse, Teague had the nerve to revive the nickname that drove Liam near to insanity his teenage years.
Peanut.
Fucking Peanut.
Liam slaps his book shut on his desk and rubs his eyes.
He needs to find a way to let it all bother him less.
Even during dinner a few hours ago, his parents kept asking him why he had such a sour face.
“Job gettin’ to ya?” asked his sassy mother as she sipped on a glass of wine.
“Help yourself to some more potatoes. It’ll get your mind off of whatever’s on it,” suggested his softhearted father as he cut off another tiny bite of steak.
Neither of them helped. Neither of them would understand or be able to fix the problem.
Especially not with another serving of mashed potatoes.
Deciding to give up studying for the night, Liam sets his books aside and moves to his bed.
He’s already showered and in his PJs, and the starry sky that shines over his bed through the window calls to him.
He listens to the pair of trees outside as their leaves hiss and sway in the gentle night breeze.
Then his phone dings from the nightstand. He fishes it out from underneath his folded-up apron and takes a look.
Hate2LoveU
Was I too direct to say you had a hard-on for science? Did I scare you off?
Liam cracks a smile and bites his lip.
He’s been so consumed with thoughts of the annoying new hire at the store ever since coming home, he barely gave another thought to the unexpected conversation he started on his break.
It’s exactly the relief he needs.
TongueTiedInKnots
Nope. I am unapologetically aroused by discussions of science and mythology.
Liam leans back on his bed, feet wagging from side to side as he watches the dots dance while Hate2LoveU types his reply. This is already the long-awaited reward for his trying day.
The phone dings—Liam’s new favorite sound.
Hate2LoveU
You didn’t talk to me all day. Thought I hit a nerve. I prepared a whole apology and everything, but kept second-guessing whether I should send it. I deleted it.
Liam fights off a grin. For a guy with electrically-farting butt cheeks for a profile pic, he seems surprisingly sensitive. Liam finds that to be a refreshing quality to find in someone else.
TongueTiedInKnots
Boring summer job. I couldn’t get away to reply to your last message. Then I got home and forgot.
Hate2LoveU
Oh? You forgot all about me, huh?
Liam laughs and blushes, feverishly typing his reply.
TongueTiedInKnots
No! It’s just been a hard day. Actually, I’m very excited you messaged me. You finally put a smile on my face.
Hate2LoveU
Oh yeah? For a sec, I thought someone with a cleverer question caught your eye. But what’s cleverer than a three-headed Hell dog?
TongueTiedInKnots
Nope. You’re the only one I’m talking to on this thing.
Hate2LoveU
That so? Not a big dating app guy?
TongueTiedInKnots
This is the first time I ever used one.
Hate2LoveU
Really??? Wow. And here I thought you couldn’t get any sexier.
Liam rolls his eyes, but can’t seem to stop blushing. He turns onto his stomach with his feet drawing figure eights in the air as he types away.
TongueTiedInKnots
So your type is an awkward science dork with a knack for mythology and exactly zero dating app swagger?
Hate2LoveU
Tell me you have braces and a stubborn cowlick you can’t tame and I’m in love.
Liam lets out a laugh, then covers his mouth—and his braces—and glances at his bedroom door.
It’s a bit late, and the last thing he wants to do is attract the unwanted attention of his parents, who may or may not still be awake, and his wine-chugging mom is always on the hunt for something funny to entertain her.
For some reason, he can’t bring himself to tell the whole truth to Hate2LoveU. The vision Liam has of himself the day he finally meets the guy will be when his teeth are perfect and his braces long gone.
So he quickly types his reply:
TongueTiedInKnots
No braces, but definitely a cowlick.
For a moment, there’s no response, only the notification that the message was read.
Liam frowns as he waits, unsure what’s causing the hesitation.
Minutes later, he’s sitting on the edge of his bed, troubled, as he stares down at his phone. Not even the three dots appear.
Really? Is it that important that he has braces?
Is this some kind of weirdo with a braces fetish?
Well, maybe Liam doesn’t have any room to judge; he gets weak in the knees for any guy who can do a headstand.
It’s weird, and maybe there’s some kind of association in Liam’s head he can’t place, but the second a guy turns upside-down, Liam’s heart flutters happily.
Maybe he should confess to the braces.
But then would that make him look like a liar?
Or charmingly insecure?
Liam has relocated to his desk, feet propped up on the edge of his bed, when the three dots finally appear, nearly startling him out of his seat when he lurches forward, blinking. Then:
Hate2LoveU
Hmm, OK. No braces. And where does one find a cowlick on a green fireball, I wonder?
Liam stares at the response in complete confusion—until he’s reminded that he chose the first thing he could find on his phone to use as a profile pic: a screenshot he took from some brainless, time-killing mobile game with green fireballs.
TongueTiedInKnots
I’m a bit more turquoise than green in real life, but yeah, I’m pretty much a fireball.
Liam gnaws on his lip uncertainly. Despite the little joke, he’s still mulling over the long pause after he said he had no braces.
It’s very possible he’s just overthinking it.
Maybe the guy had to set his phone down at that exact time to answer a knock at the door, or to wash his hands, or to take care of a terrifying owl that just flew in through his window and is wreaking havoc on his bedroom at this very moment.
Or maybe he really is having other conversations, too.
Suddenly his next message pops up:
Hate2LoveU
I guess I can live with turquoise. Question is, can you live with the fact that I fart lightning bolts? That’s my real ass, by the way. I’m a cartoon.
Liam chokes on a laugh as he bites his knuckles to keep it from coming out too loudly.
Okay. He’s definitely overthinking. This guy is locked in.
TongueTiedInKnots
Wow. Impressive.
Hate2LoveU
What is? My god-given gift to fart lightning? Or my cartoon butt?
TongueTiedInKnots
How about the fact that you just turned my worst day into the best day of my summer?
The three dots of Hate2LoveU typing wiggle on the screen as Liam finds himself returned to his bed, feet dancing excitedly in the air behind him.
Hate2LoveU
Oh, this is nothing. Give me a few more days, I’ll make this your best week.
Liam’s heart is nearly floating out of his chest.
TongueTiedInKnots
For someone whose name has “hate” in it, you sure do know how to make a guy feel good.
Hate2LoveU
For someone whose nickname is “tongue tied”, you sure do have just the right words to make this boy’s heart race.
Liam bites his lip again as he reads the words over and over.
He makes his heart race.
This guy with lightning bolt butt cheeks.
He’d be lying if he said his heart wasn’t racing, too. For some reason, his usual doubts and skepticism feel so far away. Whatever instinct inside Liam that used to raise ten red flags immediately when he began chatting to a potential date is long gone.
He feels perfectly at ease with this faceless, funny, smart, and sensitive guy whose real name he still can’t fathom.
As the minutes roll by, he continues trading message after message with Hate2LoveU.
The flirting gives way to an interesting debate about who is the strongest Greek god or goddess.
Then they talk about the stars, which both of them can see out their windows.
Nothing else in the whole world seems to concern either of them other than each other.
It’s the perfect ending to an otherwise terrible day.
TongueTiedInKnots
Goodnight, Hater.
Hate2LoveU
Nighty night, Fireball.
When Liam sets his phone down on the nightstand, it’s well past two in the morning, which is a lot later than he intended to stay up.
And who cares?
That’s the last thought on Liam’s happy, fluttering mind as he hugs his blanket and curls up in bed, full of thoughts of his new acquaintance. His heart feels as light as a noctilucent cloud. His head is a bowl of fluffy whipped cream.
Nighty night, Fireball.
These are the thoughts that keep him happy as he strolls into Gary’s Grocers the next morning.
It doesn’t faze Liam when the first thing he sees is Teague Jenson sitting on the conveyor belt of a checkout line, apron slung over his shoulder, an opened bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in his lap, surrounded by six other coworkers as they laugh and chat loudly.
It doesn’t even bother Liam when the computer in the back gives him trouble as he tries to clock in.
Nothing can bother him today as he smiles and whistles to himself while putting on his apron, feeling on top of the world.
Mr. Michelson catches him just before slipping out through the swinging doors. “Morning, Liam! Hey, got a favor to ask!”
“Anything you need,” insists Liam with a beaming smile.
“Can you let Teague shadow you again today? I’ve got a full schedule myself, Natasha is out for the week, and you did such an amazing job with him already.”
Liam gazes across the store at Teague, still chilling and laughing with his crowd of admirers, as an icy-hot pick of dread attempts to chisel its way into his good mood.
Handsome Teague, laughing and making others laugh.
Charming Teague, bettering everyone’s boring days.
Delightful Teague, whose eyes lift just in time to catch Liam’s, and even from across the store, Liam feels the influence of the boy who’s taken captive the hearts of every last person in Fairview.
Except Liam’s.
“Heck, even Teague himself told me on his way out yesterday that he had so much fun with you, learning how we run things around here.” Mr. Michelson chuckles and pats Liam too hard on the shoulder. “What do you say? Can you be my unofficial training manager for a while longer?”