Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
~ASPEN~
I t’s bright in here.
I squint as I look around.
“Am I in the hospital?”
A man smiles down at me. “You’re awake. Yes, you’re in the emergency room. You have quite a concussion. You’ve been in and out since you arrived about an hour ago. I’m Doctor Hamilton.”
“My head is killing me.”
“I’m sure it is. We started some Tylenol. Because you weren’t lucid, and we couldn’t ask questions, we had to do a lab panel before giving you any medicine. How far along are you?”
I frown. “Far along from what?”
He looks up from his computer. “In your pregnancy.”
“You have the wrong patient. I’m not pregnant.”
“According to your labs, you are. I take it you didn’t know. Given that, you’re probably not too far along.”
I close my eyes against the incessant pounding behind my forehead. “I’m not pregnant.”
“I can show you the lab results,” Dr. Hamilton offers. “You’re definitely expecting. Congratulations.”
I shake my head, but that only makes me nauseous, so I stop.
“You have one whopper of a concussion, Aspen. You’ll need to take it easy for a few days, and you’ll need constant monitoring.”
“Where’s Callum?” Everything from the café comes rushing back to me. “Oh my God, where’s Callum? Is he okay?”
“He’s two doors down. He’s going to be just fine,” the doctor assures me. “It was just a minor wound on his arm. You’re the more injured of the two of you.”
I sit back in relief. Oh, God. I almost lost him.
“And Nick?”
“I can’t give you too much information on Nick because you’re not family, but I can say he’s going to be okay.”
“Thank you.” I move to stand up, but the room spins, and I fall back onto the bed.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Dr. Hamilton asks.
“To Callum. I need him.”
“Well, give me a few minutes to finish up here, and you can see him. Both of you are impatient and stubborn, do you know that?”
“Yeah.” I grin, despite the horrible headache. “It’s one of our best traits.”
He goes over my instructions for what I need to do for the next few days and suggests that I follow up with my primary physician as soon as possible.
“If I promise I’ll go to the doctor today , will you let me see Callum?”
He sighs. “I’ll let him come over in a few minutes, after I check him out one more time. Just relax, okay? You’ve undergone trauma, Aspen. Don’t make me admit you overnight.”
“I’ll be a good girl,” I assure him.
I’m pregnant.
Oh, God. Just the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach. I never thought I’d have more children. I didn’t want them. Of course, I didn’t plan to get married again, but here we are.
“Aspen?” Callum rushes into the room and over to me. “Darling, are you okay?”
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt. “There’s no other way to say it, and I can’t sugarcoat it. I’m going to have a baby, and I’m so sorry because I know we were super careful. We always used condoms. I should have gone on the pill.”
Callum’s scared face transforms into an expression of pure joy.
“This is wonderful news! It may be earlier than I would have planned, but having children with you is absolutely something I want.”
“No.” I reach for his hand, begging him to understand. “It’s not good news, Callum. I don’t want more children. I can’t be a mother again.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that this isn’t what I want. At all. I had a child, and I lost her. The ache that lives inside of me from that loss is constant. It never goes away, Callum. And I can’t fill it with another child. I can’t replace her and just forget her as if she never existed at all. That isn’t fair to her or to me, and I refuse to do it.”
“Love.” Callum climbs up on the bed with me and holds me close. “You’re not replacing Emma. That’s impossible. Your daughter will always be a part of your heart and soul, and nothing will ever change that.”
“I can’t do it again.”
He tips up my chin so he can look me in the eyes.
“You were a wonderful mother, and what happened to Emma wasn’t your fault. Do you understand that?”
“My mind understands,” I reply slowly. “But in my heart, I always believed that if I’d been with them that day, I could have done something to save her.”
“Or you would have died with them, and I wouldn’t have you with me now.”
I blink at the thought. “I never considered that.”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was a horrible accident, and I’m so sorry it happened. If I could change it for you, I would, even if that meant I lost you because you’d still have your husband. I would take the pain away in a heartbeat.
“Having our child doesn’t erase your past, Aspen. It just means that we’re moving forward. And Emma would want that for you.”
“Emma loved babies,” I whisper. “Do you think that Emma held this little one before sending him down to us?”
“I guarantee it,” he replies. “And what a lovely thought that is, sweetheart.”
“Yeah.” I sniff, letting my tears fall. Tears of grief because my sweet daughter won’t be here to meet her new sibling. And tears of joy because I have the chance to love another little someone the way I did my sweet Emma. “I didn’t plan this.”
“Clearly,” he says with a chuckle. “But we can move up the wedding.”
“No.” I shake my head again, adamant about this. “I will not get married again because I’m pregnant, Callum. I did that before, and I won’t do it again. As it is, people will talk and say that you’re marrying me because you have to. I’m not going to add fuel to that fire.”
“I do have to,” he replies easily. “Being without you isn’t an option for me.”
“You know what I mean.” But I place a kiss on his mouth. “And thank you for that.”
“I’ll marry you whenever you want. Tomorrow or next year, I don’t care as long as you’re my wife.”
“I want to have the baby and then have a wedding here in Cunningham Falls next autumn. If we got married right away, and I have a baby in seven months, it’ll be said that it was a shotgun wedding.”
“Charming.”
“And it’s not.”
“Of course, not. I proposed to you before I knew you were pregnant.”
“No one knows that.”
“Fuck them,” he says. “Like we said before, it doesn’t matter what the media says as long as you and I are on the same page. But I meant what I said. I’ll marry you anytime at all, as long as you marry me.”
“You can’t get rid of me,” I say. “And I’m sorry that I said I didn’t want the baby. I do. I just have a lot of emotions running through me right now.”
“I know.” He kisses my forehead gently. “Seeing you lying there today, lifeless and bleeding, was something I never want to go through again. If I lost you?—”
“No more loss,” I insist and kiss him. “For either of us. We’ve had our share, and now I’m ready to move forward with you and this baby, as a family, and enjoy our wonderful life.”
“Princess Aspen,” he murmurs. “It has a nice ring to it.”
“Mrs. Wakefield sounds even better.”
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever met who’s averse to taking on a royal title.”
“I’m not averse to it. But princess implies I belong to the commonwealth. And Mrs. implies that I belong to you. And that’s the most important thing, first and foremost. The rest is gravy.”
“I knew it. The minute I saw you, I knew you’d change my life.”
“Me, too.” His eyes darken at my admission. “And I’m finally ready for you.”