Chapter 12
Oakley
A soft touch across my forehead woke me. The sun was bright, streaming into the room.
I didn’t want to wake up. My body was so tired, even though I slept most of the time, day and night. Unless Sir was wanting me, sleep was the only thing I got to have plenty of.
A whine left my throat before I remembered my place. Then, my eyes flashed open, coming face to face with Sabastian, who was kneeling beside where I lay.
“Time to rise and shine,” he whispered but didn’t take away his touch. “Breakfast is ready. Then I have to head out for a bit.”
All I could do was blink, trying to start my brain and body into motion. Maybe if he wasn’t touching me the way he was, my body would get the message that it needed to move.
“Five minutes, then I expect you to be downstairs.” Only then did he pull away.
I lay there until he was out of sight. It took more work than I could ever remember before to get my body out of bed. At least it didn’t take me long to use the bathroom and put on clothes.
A shiver wracked me as I slipped on a skirt, not sure what Sabastian preferred me to wear. The clothes he bought yesterday hung in the closet, tags all taken off. It wasn’t much, but if he bought it, then I assumed he’d want me to wear them.
Thankful to find a new sweater, I slipped that on, too, even though I wasn’t cold. It was more for comfort, and right now, with my thumb wrapped up, I wanted something soft instead.
Going barefoot, I found Sabastian in the kitchen. He sat at the table, typing away on a computer. When he spotted me, he dipped his head towards one of the empty chairs that were closer to him.
This time, I didn’t need instructions to take a seat, pulling a bowl of oatmeal closer to me. The top was sprinkled with what smelt like cinnamon.
Happy to have something that wouldn’t aggravate me like last night, I slowly ate it, knowing better than to shove it into my mouth.
Thirty-six hours in this house, and other than last night, there hadn’t been any pain. No yelling or touching. Nothing like with Sir.
I knew it’d change, though. Sabastian bought me. Sir sold me.
“Someone will pay a good penny for a sissy boy like you. One who cries, but follows orders. They’ll love to play with you. Use you.”
“Do you prefer to wear skirts over pants?”
The question pulled me from my mind. I weighed how to answer for a moment by taking another bite of the oatmeal.
“I’ll wear the things you want me to, Sir.” My words were spoken so quietly, I doubted he could even hear them.
“That’s not what I asked, Oakley.” At that tone, one deep in his chest, my stomach dropped. Not able to eat another bite, I set the spoon down before clasping my hands in my lap tightly.
“I wear what you say I wear,” I repeated.
I didn’t have an opinion, and even if I did, I knew better than to speak it.
It didn’t bother me to wear the skirts, now that I had gotten used to them.
The underwear that Sir wanted me to wear, on the other hand, wasn’t something I enjoyed or wanted to wear.
“Are you done?”
I nodded quickly, taken aback by the question.
Did I not answer it right? Was I to say I liked skirts over pants? Or the other way around?
“Upstairs.”
I was up instantly, my vision spinning for a moment before it cleared again. I tripped over my feet as I rushed from the kitchen and up the stairs.
Not sure how he wanted me, I fell to my knees by the bed, facing the doorway. The perfect pose that Sir taught me. My palms faced up on my knees, back straight, head tipped down. I forced my breath to even, settling into the position.
I could feel the disappointment edging into the room as Sabastian stepped in. He was frustrated, and my punishment wasn’t going to be easy. But I’d get through it like I always did.
He didn’t say a thing as he pulled out the chain that had been pushed under the bed last night. My shoulders sunk, not entirely sure if it was good or bad. Either way, it meant I was in trouble.
When the cuff was placed around my ankle once more, Sabastian’s fingers tangled in my hair and he pulled my head up. I could have fought the motion easily, as his grip was light. Much lighter than what Sir ever used with me.
“I’m going out.” Nothing else. Just those three words.
He let go of my hair, leaving me where I knelt like I was nothing.
I barely held myself together, hands staying put on my knees, as the man got ready to leave the house. He changed clothes, put shoes on, and grabbed his keys and phone. He didn’t speak to me.
When he left, the door shutting harder than it had before, I finally let out a breathy sob.
Was this the type of punishment this man would give me? Ones that made me cry without outward pain? Or did he enjoy seeing me fall apart, just like Sir had, and didn’t care how it happened?
Bending over, my forehead touching the top the floor and hands wrapped around my torso, I let the sobs take over. I let the tears fall. And I let my lungs cry out for much-needed air.
If this is what Sabastian wanted to see from me, then he got it.
Would my behavior here make Sir happy? Was he somehow watching, too? I wouldn’t be surprised.
Last night, or well early this morning, Sabastian had seemed kind, helping to get rid of pain. But now, he wanted nothing to do with me. He loathed me.
It was better to not speak if I still got punished either way. Sir liked that game, too. Telling me to answer, but hitting me when I did speak. Because sissy girls were to dress pretty and not be heard. Only seen. Only to please others.
Slowly, my sobs stopped, as did the tears.
I was left empty and raw, with nothing left to care about inside my soul.
If I thought Sir had broken me, I was wrong. This man was doing a pretty good job of breaking me even further.
Swiping a hand over my face to clear the tears, I scooted to a corner by the dresser. The chain clanged with the movement, reminding me how much of a terrified, pathetic pet I was.
Sniffing, I pushed myself farther into the corner, letting the hard wall dig into my back.
***
I didn’t move from my place for what felt like hours. I dozed off and on. My butt was sore from a mix of sitting on the hard floor in the same place for so long, and the bruising.
My entire body ached, and my mouth was dry enough that I had to move.
Standing, my legs cried out, tingles shooting through them with every step. I couldn’t stop the grimace, no longer caring to control my painful expression.
If Sabastian was watching, it’d either piss him off more, or he’d find entertainment in my misery. Or both. Who knows.
Shuffling on soundless feet, I used the bathroom, making sure there was no mess left on the seat. Sitting down always worked to make fewer drops that had to be cleaned up.
Flipping my skirt back down, the hem hiding my feet, I paused in front of the sink.
My green eyes were shadowed in red from two crying fits in less than twelve hours. That wasn’t anything new, either.
Sir loved to see me cry, then he’d punish me for crying.
My hair was curly, and a bit everywhere. Fixing the strands, I spotted a hair clip on the edge of the sink, not remembering seeing that earlier.
Lifting a shoulder, I pulled back part of my hair from my face and clipped it back with the black thing that looked kind of like a spider. It had eight plastic things that could be like a spider’s legs. And, I didn’t know what these clips were called anyway.
Still looking defeated by life, I looked like the sissy girl that Sir wanted me to be. Round slim face, dull eyes, small nose, and a dimpled chin.
I was nothing special. I was just a breathing person, waiting for the day I could finally die.
I assumed Sabastian wasn’t happy with how I looked. He didn’t let his eyes travel over me more than that one time. He didn’t make remarks about my clothing or my body. And he didn’t touch me in places like Sir did.
So, then, why was I even here? Why did he buy me if he didn’t want me for my body like Sir said so many men wanted?
Having no answers, I turned away from the mirror. I wasn’t going to find any answers to the questions. I didn’t dare ask them, either. Keeping them all locked up in my mind would be better.
When my eyes landed on my thumb, still bandaged, I began to pick at the sticky tape around it. It didn’t take long to uncover it, tossing the trash to the trashcan under the sink.
Around the base of my thumb was red from the force of my teeth. A little scabbing, but really, nothing that bad. Considering everything I’ve been through, that didn’t even hurt.
Having nothing better to do, I made my way to the bed. This time, I sat on it, pulling myself to sit against the headboard before pulling out the book that Sabastian had said I could read.
I’d prefer to read the other one he’d rudely taken away. Having those types of rules that were outlined in that book was something I craved. They’d be so easy to follow, and it was all straightforward. There weren’t any hidden meanings behind them. So unlike everything in my life.
There were other books on the shelf that were similar, though. I could spot them on the shelf, sitting there and calling my name.
Would he even notice if I read them? Maybe I could be sneaky. Sabastian wasn’t here.
Looking around the room, I saw one single camera, which was pointed towards the bed. I tilted my head, wondering if he could see where I was before. But then, as I watched, the camera moved a bit.
Alight. Yeah, he could see me when I was in the corner.
But I didn’t think he’d be able to see if I read a different book. Not if my back was turned.
Slipping from the bed once again, I walked to the bookshelf before sitting down.
The small bit of fear of what would happen if he found out was there, telling me to behave. Telling me to remember the few rules that had been given.
But, I told myself. If he didn’t want me to read them, he’d have taken them all out. He’d have checked to make sure that there wasn’t any more before leaving me tied up in here again.
Without turning to look at the camera, because then he’d surely know I was up to something, I reached out with shaking hands and grabbed one of the books. This one, instead of a pacifier on the front, was a bottle and blanket. The blanket looked soft, just like the sweater I had on.
I wondered what it’d feel like rubbing against my cheek. Would it feel the same as it did against my arms?
“Show me what book you’re looking at.” The voice came through a speaker, one that Sir liked to use when he wanted music. I wasn’t allowed to use it, of course.
With my heart in my throat, knowing I was in trouble, I slipped the book on the floor and picked up a random one from the shelf.
I held it up behind me, in front of where the camera sat. It took a moment before Sabastian’s voice came through again.
“Read the book I gave you yesterday. Those are all off-limits until I have time to look at them better.”
I sighed, putting the book back. But, as I stood up, I put my foot on the book I wanted to read, scooting it with me as I went back to sit on the bed.
I wasn’t sure how I’d get to read it, but I’d figure out a way. And a way to hide it.
Consequences be damned.