Chapter 25
Oakley
I had to be good, I thought over and over.
Sir never thought I was good. The treats I got were far and in between. So much so, that I didn’t even remember how I earned them. The books were mostly used for punishments anyway, even though I read them from cover to cover so many times over the years.
I didn’t stop to think as I fell to my knees next to Sabastian. It took everything in me to not tremble in fear as I waited for what he’d do.
Sir loved to keep me guessing at every turn. He’d pull me into a sense of false safety so many times, only to dish out the worst types of punishments.
Sabastian had yet to do anything like Sir, though, but it was all still a matter of time.
Was he waiting until I was eighteen to dish out the pain and torture? Would that even make a difference in the end?
I wasn’t looking forward to that day next week. I didn’t have birthdays anyway. So whatever Sabastian wanted, he’d get. Let it be my body or just time like we’ve been spending together this past week.
I jerked when a hand tangled in my hair. I held my breath, waiting for the pain of the strands to be pulled.
So many times, Sir had pulled hard, causing my scalp sometimes bled from the force. But Sabastian didn’t.
Instead, he scraped his fingers along my scalp gently as he shifted to sit up. “You do kneel very good, little one.”
I didn’t dare reply.
“I’m assuming Donny taught you other positions?”
Of course, that man did, I huffed in my thoughts.
Carefully, being mindful that there was a hand in my hair and could fix my position easily, I shifted enough to spread my legs further apart and leaned my upper body backward a bit. It put more strain on my lower back and calves to stop me from falling backward.
With this pose, I had to look up at Sabastian. I instantly closed my eyes against his heated look. The one glance was more than enough to see.
Tight jaw, as if he was holding his teeth together to keep himself from moving.
The hand in my hair was still loose, but his fingers stopped moving.
Truthfully, this was the worst pose for me to show off. It was the one that Sir loved the most, but the pain it caused me on the other hand wasn’t. I could feel my muscles already aching within a minute or two.
Sir loved to force me to stay this way until my body gave out. Then, he’d punish me for failing his stupid commands.
“Donny’s…done well.” Sabastian gritted the words out like he couldn’t decide if he was happy or not about that fact. “Rest pose.”
Letting go of a sigh, I maneuvered to kneel like I had before, knees together and head down. I rest my butt against the back of my feet, head down.
“How..” Sabastian cleared his throat. “How many poses do you know?”
“Four or five,” I breathed. There was more, but if Sabastian didn’t know of them, the better. Sir was creative, and not in a good way.
“He didn’t lie when he said you were nearly perfect.”
I was nowhere near perfect. Sir made sure to remind me of that often.
Choosing not to reply to that, I leaned into his touch. Maybe the small movement would remind him that his hand was in my hair.
So far, I didn’t mind this man’s touches. At least, not yet. I knew a time would be coming when his hands would cause me harm. But I didn’t think that was going to be tonight.
I had a feeling that come next week, that was all going to change.
“Can…I ask a question?” I glanced up at him, not sure if I wanted to know the answer. But it was something that had been bothering me since dinner.
“Of course,” Sabastian said, gently moving his fingers against my scalp again. Whatever thoughts he had seconds before were slowly clearing.
“Can I fix the books in the bedroom? Please?”
The disorder of how he put all the books back on the shelf was bugging me. A few were sideways again, and they weren’t in order.
“Tomorrow, yes. But the rules are still the same.”
He didn’t need to remind me. I knew the rules.
I nodded quickly.
I just had to figure out a way to put the two books back in the mix, though. But since I did kind of steal them in the first place, it should be fairly easy to slip them back into place.
“It’s bothering you that much, huh?”
If I didn’t have to see it so many times a day, it probably wouldn’t bother me at all. But the shelf was always in sight with its messed up books. I’d eventually do it anyway, with or without Sabastian’s okay in doing so.
“Alright,” he said, moving his hand to cup my cheek.
His skin was warm, soaking into me instantly.
I couldn’t help but lean into his palm, seeking whatever he’d give me.
I was like a dog who would gladly take any type of affection, no matter the consequences.
“Although I could easily let you kneel here for me for a while, it’s not your place to do so. ”
My place? Of course, it was. That’s what Sir trained me for. To be of another man’s service.
“Up on the couch, Oakley. We’ll watch something before bed.”
If the hardness in his sleep pants wasn’t enough of an indication that he liked me kneeling for him, then his heated look earlier sure was.
I slowly stood and sat back on the couch. I didn’t sit right on the edge this time, but my body was still stiff, waiting for whatever Sabastian wanted of me next.
Sir would want me. He’d want me to chock on his cock, gagging around his width and swallowing all of his juice.
I swallowed, remembering too well the last time Sir forced his dick into my mouth and cut off my air supply.
“Relax, Oakley,” Sabastian shuffled back into a laid-back position. “I’m not going to force you to do something that you don’t want.”
But that’s exactly what I kept waiting for. It wouldn’t matter if I didn’t want to do something when he would be the one who wanted something from me.
Doubt began to seep in as Sabastian picked something to watch. Doubt about many things, but mostly, did he even like me?
Why bring me here into his home if he wasn’t going to do any of the things that Sir told me another man would want? Was I not want this man wanted? Was I not pretty enough?
Sir always made comments about me, about my body. They weren’t always good, but he said them anyway. Spoke things that made me quiver in fear.
I’d forever hear those words whispered in my ear. They were seared into my brain like the burning sun.
I’d never be good enough to be anything more than what someone said I was. I was as dirty as a bug on the bottom of someone’s shoe. I may be as pretty as a girl, but my mind wasn’t worth the effort for someone to want to get to know me for who I was.
I was, and always would be, just something to take up space.
***
I was sure that so much time alone was causing my mind to wander. With Sir, I was always waiting, knowing he was watching and bidding his time to do whatever he wanted next. I was always prepared for him to demand my attention.
With Sabastian, I was waiting, but it didn’t feel the same.
It was easier when he was gone from the house, giving me plenty of time to wander around and be bored.
Which, given, I was used to. Sir did the same thing, He wasn’t always at home, but normally I slept off and on because my sleep was always interpreted either by him or the monsters.
Since Sabastian had me start taking those tiny white pills, my sleep had been better. A few nights of good sleep, and I was crawling out of my skin with not having much to do. I wasn’t waiting with my heart in my gut for something to happen.
I assumed, since I had nothing else to go off of, that Sabastian was waiting for me to officially turn eighteen. Not that it mattered to me in the slightest. Age never did, and Sir made sure that it didn’t. Why else would he keep my true age away from me?
Heck, how could I even be sure I was turning eighteen? Both Collin and Sabastian could easily be lying, too.
Forcing those thoughts away, because I didn’t have any say over what age someone wanted me to be, I forced my focus back on the books.
Sabastian had messed them all up. None of them were in order. The least he could have done was put them on the shelf like books were meant to be.
Slipping the two books I needed to add back to the pile had been easy. Although my heart had been in my throat the entire time, hands shaking, as I snuck them into the waistband of my pants and a blanket wrapped around me, I had returned them.
Sabastian never saw them. He didn’t even know I had them.
Which begged to question, could I get away with taking another?
Pursing my lips, I looked through the books a bit more, sorting them as I went. None of them called to me like the two.
Glancing over the backs a bit more closely than I had last time, I wasn’t sure any of them would be good to read. They all seemed to be love stories, which I didn’t want. I wasn’t ever going to fall in love or be happy. Why read about something that I’d never get to experience myself?
Sighing, I put one book after the next on the shelf, making sure they were in order by author name. I took as much time as I possibly could, not wanting to be bored for hours once again.
Kneeling on the floor to reach the shelf better, I had a feeling that Sabastian was watching me through the camera. Knowing he liked me enough to keep a close eye on what I did was sort of comforting. I don’t know why, but it was.
Picking up the next book, I eyed the back cover, pausing as a few of the words jumped out at me.
Strangers…Pacifier….Little Space….Stuffies….
Now this one was intriguing. The cover was of a simple boy, which gave nothing away to the words within.
I set it on the shelf and bent to pick up the next book, finding it to be by the same author.
Getting all three books, I looked for the publication date, finding which one was made first. I was pretty sure I couldn’t get away with taking all three at one time since they were thicker.
Instead, I put the first book against my chest, back to the camera, and bent over.
I dropped it to the floor while grabbing the next one.
The next few books were easier to put on the shelf. I didn’t stop to read the backs, only reading the authors to make sure they were in fact, in order.
Sitting on my butt, I slipped the book into the waistband of the pants I had on. If I bundled the blanket just right, no one could tell what I was hiding. Or I hoped so, anyhow.
Quickly finishing the rest of the books, maybe a bit too fast, as when I stood, after checking that the hidden book was hidden, Sabastian spoke over the speaker.
“You’re not trying to hide any books, are you, Oakley?”
I yelped, holding the blanket against my waist a bit tighter. My heart thumped in my chest.
“No.” I shook my head too quickly, sure he could see through my lie easily. “Promise.”
“Move the blanket, then. Shake it out.”
With wide eyes, knowing I had been found out, I did as he said. I shook the blanket out, turning it around too, to prove that there was no book in there.
Could he see it through the camera? With his shirt, which was bigger on me than him anyway, it was easy to hide.
“Alright. Go on, little one.”
Relief flooded me. I didn’t take a second chance, putting the blanket on the bed, right where I’d been sleeping the past few nights, and left the room. I didn’t take the book out until I was across the hall, hidden in the closet that was now empty.
With the doors open and, the light on, it was the perfect place to read a book I shouldn’t be reading.
Sure, having something nice to sit on would have made it better, but for now, it would do.
It was a spot that was hidden away, where no cameras were, and I was all alone.
With the book against my bent knees, I opened the first chapter. My thumb made its way into my mouth as I began to read.