Chapter 36
Sabastian
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Oakley color. I think he was more lost in his head than knowing what he was coloring. His eyes weren’t focused, and every few minutes his head dipped down, like he was fighting off falling asleep.
Actually, he was doing just that.
Poor sweet boy.
Today had been a roller coaster of emotions. From fear, to hope, to acceptance. Then add in being constipated again.
I felt bad for him. I really did. I didn’t mind helping him find relief, I just wished he didn’t have to go through the pain.
Already knowing that tonight was going to be an early night for the boy, I pulled out his normal anti-anxiety med, along with a pill to help him go to the bathroom better. I had hoped that with eating decent meals, that problem would have sorted itself out. But I guess not.
Dinner hadn’t taken long to cook. Simple hot dogs and mac and cheese. Something that any little would enjoy.
“Food’s ready, little one.” At my voice. Oakley slowly lifted his head. He looked around like he forgot where he was for a moment. A blush filled his cheeks as he shifted in his seat before closing the coloring book.
“What were you thinking so hard about?”
Would he tell me?
He shrugged, popping his paci from his mouth and laying it on the table. Then, hugged his bunny super tight before placing it on top of the coloring book. All the while, the redness from his face didn’t disappear.
I had a feeling I knew what he had been thinking about. It was something I wasn’t going to force from this time.
Oakley was needy in a different way, and there really wasn’t a way for him to express that need.
I was surprised by my self-control. He had been hard as a rock while I dried him off, and the entire time I rubbed lotion into his skin.
He smelt clean and fresh, and I’d have loved nothing more than to show him a new type of pleasure. But he’d been through a lot today already.
I had questions, of course, but ones that wouldn’t be spoken out loud. Only time would give me the answers I wondered about.
“Here you go. And some pills. This one so you don’t feel so yucky when you can’t go to the bathroom.”
He picked it up, looking at the pill before shrugging and swallowing it. Then the other one followed.
He was way too trusting, I thought. Or maybe he was finally starting to get comfortable with me to not second guess what I gave him. I hoped that was the case. But something told me that Donny had given him things before and he wasn’t allowed to question those things.
“What’s one food thing you’d like to have?” I asked after a bit. At my voice, he looked up slowly with a bite halfway to his mouth.
I had mixed his hotdog into the noodle mixture, hoping he’d enjoy it.
“Anything?” His voice was quiet, but I still caught it.
“Yes. Pizza? Hamburgers? Ice cream? Chicken?”
He dropped his gaze to the food, taking another bite while he mulled over the thoughts and fears that ran through his head. I had to wonder what he’d pick. Most Littles would go straight for pizza or French fries. Even chicken nuggets. All of which were easy to obtain.
“Apples.”
That was not what I was expecting.
“Red or green?”
“They come in that color?” He looked up, eyes wide. “I… the ones I got were…always greenish brown.”
“The greener they are, the sweeter. Both are good. Dipped in peanut butter or caramel sauce.”
“Both” his eyes got even wider if it were possible.
“I can do that. We’ll go shopping and get them.”
I didn’t keep much fruit in the house, since it was always just me here. Half the time, they’d all get tossed out because I was too busy to eat them.
“Maybe some other fruits, too. Like pears, or cucumbers?”
He nodded quickly, shoving another bite into his mouth.
It wasn’t every day a Little asked for healthy things, but I’d take it.
“I…really can have that?”
“Yes, sweet boy. I’ll let you have whatever food you ever would want. There will be limits, like only having two cookies so you don’t eat the entire package, though.”
“I’d never do that.” He shook his head, eyes bright with a bit of happiness. Something was so rare for such a pretty thing like him.
“I know you won’t because you’re my good boy.”
And queue the blush.
I wanted to laugh, knowing how easy it was to make him feel that sort of embarrassment. All it did was draw me more towards him.
He shifted again, and then quickly finished off the rest of the food in his bowl. Then, he chugged the sippy, too. Still, he kept shifting where he sat.
“Do you have ants in your pants, little one?”
He blushed, freezing all together. Then, slowly uttered, “No.”
“If you need to go potty, you can go.”
He shook his head, the blush going down his neck as he took a deep breath.
Then why was he so wiggly?
“Are you finished?”
He nodded, not meeting my eyes now. I hummed, hoping if I gave him a few minutes to sort his thoughts, he’d tell me what was going on.
“I’ll fill this too.”
“Milk?”
“Sure, little one.” I ran a hand through his hair, which he instantly leaned into.
I almost asked if he’d want a bottle, but decided against it. Pressing a sippy cup on someone in his mind frame was more than enough. A bottle could cause panic, which was something I was trying to not do tonight.
I got one sippy filled with warm milk, then another with just water after I finished cleaning the dishes, sticking them into the dishwasher.
“A movie in bed?”
He nodded, slowly standing up. He took the paci, put it into his mouth, and held the stuffie in front of him, which I assumed was to hide his privates with how low it was instead up by his chest.
“Do you need some time alone?” I asked, eyeing where he put the stuffed animal before looking at his face.
I wasn’t going to touch him there. Not yet, that was for sure. I had lines I refused to cross, and touching anyone for the first time without permission wasn’t going to happen.
“You can take care of any needs in the bathroom, or the other bedroom.”
He squeaked around the paci, but shook his head again.
“Alight, little one. Go on up while I make sure the doors are locked.”
He did need at least a couple of minutes to calm down. If he didn’t want to deal with his arousal, than so be it. But either way, he needed a moment to hide under the covers.
Simple moments reminded me just how new he was to everything, even with the abuse he suffered for years.
I made sure my steps were heard as I went up the stairs. That way, if he was busy doing something, he wouldn’t be caught off guard.
By the time I got to the bedroom, Oakley was in bed with the covers up to his chin. I could see him clutching them with both hands, his stuffie peeking out at the top.
“All set?” He nodded with a single dip of his head.
Turning off the main light, I flicked on the nightlight I had put in the other day, the one that lit up the room enough to keep the monsters away. Then, I turned on the TV, putting on a movie with wizards and magic before getting comfortable beside the boy.
It took him a single minute to scoot over, taking the sippy with warm milk from me before sucking at it.
Five minutes later, he was back to fully relaxed, eyes barely opened as he drank.
“I have to work tomorrow,” I said, pulling him more into my hold. I made sure not to let my legs touch his lower part. I didn’t need him freaking out on me. “But I’ll be back for supper, like always.”
If he were to sleep like the dead all night, he may not be awake when I left. There was a couple of times when Oakley was still dozing when I did have to leave, and I didn’t want him to worry about me or when I’d be back.
I’d rather stay here, tucked into bed with him, for days on end. But that wasn’t quite a possibility.
“Kay,” he muttered, handing me the empty sippy before tucking himself into my hold against my chest. “You’re nice.”
“I try to be.” I ran a hand along his back. Was that his way of saying he liked me?
He hummed again, twisting his head a bit. When his lips ran across my nipple, he sucked it into his mouth, as if it were a normal every night thing.
He wiggled a bit more, trying to twist his legs around mine. I shifted so I laid on my side, pulling him as close as I could.
He was still hard, his dick pocking at me, but sleep won out, as moments later, he relaxed in my hold, and his mouth fell slack around my nipple.
I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.
There were so many options, and so much time, to explore all of his needs and wants.
I had a feeling that once his brain fully knew that he was safe with me, that I’d give him the entire world, he’d always want to find those small releases that gave him calm and safety.