3. Jade
THREE
Jade
A week has passed, and I’m slightly annoyed by the fact that I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to Paul.
We have an outstanding online date: every night at eight o’clock, we both log on no matter what we’re doing. He hasn’t signed in all week, and a part of me is left wondering if he’s tired of me already. Even though I don’t know if he’s real, I feel like I’ve lost a friend.
I pull out my phone and look at the picture he sent me. His dark hair is styled perfectly and combed neatly to the side. His blue eyes are striking against his tanned skin. And in this shirtless pic, his muscles ripple. It makes me wonder how a man that looks this good isn’t already tied down, which only makes me worry more that what we have isn’t real.
“How’s it going?” Pearl asks, sliding into the booth on the opposite side of the table.
I pick up my beer and take a drink. “Good, I guess. How are things with you?”
She smiles wide, and it warms my heart to see her this way, finally happy and in love, with a bright future ahead of her. “Really good. Blake…he’s better than I ever could’ve imagined. He’s always surprising me with these little romantic gestures, you know?”
I nod as I feel my forced smile begin to fall.
“How are things with you and… Paul, is it?” She frowns at trying to remember a name to a man she’s never met.
“Things are good. We’re still talking every night. Well, every night that he has internet connection.”
“Have you guys Facetimed yet?”
I shake my head. “He doesn’t have a strong enough connection. The few times we’ve tried, it was so grainy and cut out so often that we had to end it.”
She presses her lips together tightly. I can tell that she’s holding something back.
I tilt my head to the side. “What? I can tell you want to say something. Just come out with it already.”
She takes a deep breath. “It’s just that…”
“Yeah?”
“Well, it’s just that I hate seeing you this way, Jade. I mean, why don’t you start dating some guys from around town, a guy you can actually see, and touch, and be with? What if this is just some middle-aged man sitting in his mom’s basement fucking with you?”
I get where she’s coming from. Nothing she’s said is new to me. I’ve thought of it all already, but it strikes a nerve with me tonight. I’ve already had a shitty week with Paul’s absence. I don’t need her doubts and fears right now. I just need to hear someone say that he is real, that he does have feelings for me, and that everything will work out.
I scoff. “How many times do I have to tell you, Pearl? He’s real. He is. I mean, look at all these pictures he’s sent me.” I pick up my phone and start scrolling through our conversation to show her the pictures.
“Jay, anyone can steal pictures off the internet. Find a real guy! A real man would get you over that Memphis heartbreak in no time.” She grabs a French fry and dips it in ketchup before eating it.
My eyes snap up to her. “Who says I’m still heartbroken over Memphis? I mean, God, Pearl. That was almost ten years ago. If you think I’m still hanging onto that asshole, you’re dead wrong.”
She smooths over her features. “Am I though?” she asks, lowering her voice.
“Yes! Memphis and I…that was so long ago, and we were practically children. It wasn’t real. It was two kids pretending. What I have with Paul is more real than th at crazy fantasy.” I lift my beer and take a drink, needing to cool off a minute. I don’t want to fight with Pearl. She’s basically the only friend I have. “I know you’re concerned, okay? But there is no reason to be. Paul’s real.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because I feel it. Over these last six months, we’re talked a lot and really gotten to know one another. I think…” I take a deep breath. “I think I’m really starting to have feelings for him. And I know how crazy that sounds, but the way we talk…it’s like the way you and Blake talk. Like deep conversations, talking about our feelings and emotions and all the things we’re going to do when we finally get to meet up. He’s real. You just have to take my word for it. I know it. I know he is.” I assure her, but I’m wondering if it’s really her I’m trying to convince.
“Okay.” She nods once. “I believe you.”
“Really?”
“Not about the Memphis stuff because I saw the way you looked at him and the way he looked at you. You still love him, and I think a part of you always will no matter how much you deny it, but I believe you about Paul.” She offers one of her wide, blinding smiles that makes me laugh.
I guess a girl can only lie about so much. I used all of my convincing to get her to believe that Paul is real. I have nothing left when it comes to convincing her that I no longer have feelings for Memphis, but hey, I still need to convince myself of that one.
Pearl and I sit and finish off our beers before going our separate ways. We both walk out of the bar and stop out front for a hug.
“I’ll see you later, Jay,” she says, pulling away and rushing for her little bug.
I smile and wave, watching as she drives away. Instead of heading for the car, I walk to the post office that’s just right next door. With Mama getting older, she hasn’t been getting out as much. It’s been my weekly task to pick up her mail for her. I walk inside and over to the wall full of P.O. boxes. I dig my keys out of my purse and unlock her box before digging out the few envelopes and catalogs stuffed inside. I drop my keys back into my open purse and turn around, bumping right into Mrs. Tessle, the town busy body.
“Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Tessle. I didn’t see you there.” My hand is still covering my heart from the fright she’s given me by appearing out of nowhere as quietly as a nightmare.
She laughs it off. “I’m sorry, dear. I just thought that you’d like to know about a certain quarterback who’s back in town.”
My mouth drops open as my eyes widen with fear, excitement, worry, and anger. How dare he show his face back in my town after everything he’s done?
I wipe the look from my face and shake my head free of all the emotions overpowering it. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Tessle, but I have no idea who you’re referring to.”
She gives me a knowing smile. “I think you do, dear. I was outside watering my award-winning rose bushes just yesterday when all of a sudden, this horrible sound of a motor revving cut right through my peace and quiet time. I looked up and, sure enough, there was that old fire engine red GTO speeding down the road, just like old times.”
I nod but pressed my lips together, refusing give her a reason to spread this bit of gossip around town. “Mrs. Tessle, I really need to go now. As you know, Mama isn’t doing so good. I need to check on her.”
“Oh, alright dear.”
I start to walk away, but she calls me back.
“Jade, please, when you see Memphis, politely remind him that my road does have a speed limit, and I won’t hesitate to call the law on him next time. He’s not a child anymore. He has to follow the rules, just like everyone else around here.”
“Will do, Mrs. Tessle,” I mumble, rushing out of the post office with Mama’s mail stuffed under my arm. I nearly run away from Mrs. Tessle and her news that Memphis is back in town. Suddenly, I’m hyperaware of my surroundings. This town is small, too small for the both of us. And he could be anywhere. He could be sitting at The Place right now, watching me from the front window. I glance over my shoulder to peek into the window.
How long has he been in town? And how is it possible that I haven’t run into him yet? Normally, with something like this, I would turn to Pearl, but she’s already convinced that I’m still in love with him. Going to her with this new information would only drive the point home for her, and that’s something I can’t allow to happen. I’ve worked for years to put Memphis Styles behind me, to leave him and us in my past. I’ve worked too hard to let it all go to waste now. No, Memphis will stay right where he left me: on his doorstep, crying, not watching my every step in an attempt to avoid him.
I’m walking into Mama’s house a little while later. I place her mail on the table by the door, and she looks up from her recliner at me with a smile.
“Hey, Mom.” I flop down on the couch, directing my eyes to the TV where her favorite soap opera is playing.
“Hi, sweetheart. What have you been up to today? ”
I shrug. “I went to work, then met up with Pearl for a drink. I got your mail and ran into Mrs. Tessle.”
She laughs. “And what’s the latest gossip?”
“Memphis is back in town,” I blurt out.
Her eyes stretch wide. She’s very aware of what this could do to me…if I let it. She lay by my side for months after he left, hugging me and supporting me and telling me that one day, everything would be fine. “Is she sure that she doesn’t have him confused with someone else?”
“She said she saw and heard his fire engine red GTO come barreling down the street. She even went as far as to ask me to remind him that there is a speed limit.”
She scoffs. “What an old hag! Doesn’t she remember you moping around here for months after he up and left without a word? How could she expect you to tell him that?”
“She is probably assuming that I’ve moved on like everyone else in this town, like I should have.”
Her face softens, and she places her hand on mine. “Your heart will heal when it’s supposed to, dear. There is no time limit on heartbreak. One of these days, you’ll find a man who will wipe out any memory of Memphis and replace them with new memories, better memories.”
I sure do hope so.