Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
Dex
I think Sayla’s avoiding me.
At lunch, she blows through the buffet, filling her plate like she’s on the verge of starving.
And rather than wait to see where I’m sitting, she joins a table of nurses from St. Augustine’s to eat.
So I settle at a table under a tree outside the mess hall, with a massive serving of spaghetti and garlic bread.
Caroline and Tori sit with me almost immediately.
They’re both nice enough, although Tori does come on a little strong.
To be fair, though, there’s actually more to Tori than the leggings and teeth Sayla pointed out.
Apparently, Tori’s studying to be a child psychologist, which I think is pretty cool.
The therapy I did twenty years ago made a huge difference in my life.
But I don’t tell her this. I don’t talk to anyone about that time.
I just keep moving forward in continuous motion.
Kind of like a tiger shark in a Gray Squirrels hoodie with a whistle around its neck.
After lunch, Bob and Hildy direct everyone back over to the main lodge, where they tell us we’ll be taking turns, in smaller groups, climbing the rock wall.
Three pairs each time. Six people total per round.
The activity, they explain, as if the point’s not already obvious, is about trust and cooperation with your partner.
And also a little bit of individual fear-conquering, for those of us afraid of heights.
Meanwhile, the groups not climbing the wall will be on the mats for yoga and stretching exercises. A woman named Fern is here to lead all the mat stuff. According to Bob and Hildy, she’s an expert at mind and body symbiosis. Quote unquote.
To be honest, I’m not looking forward to that part. I’ve never been too good at yoga and stretching. In fact, I can barely reach my toes, a shortcoming I’ve learned to live with. Until it’s on display in a room full of strangers.
And Sayla.
Rock climbing, though, I love. And I’m fully prepared to work with her to showcase our collaborative spirit for Bob and Hildy. Except that as soon as we’re all inside the lodge, some guy immediately snags her as his partner before I have a chance to ask.
Hogan, I think his name is.
Okay. That’s not true. I know his name’s Hogan. I kept track after watching him entertain Sayla during the ice breaker. What can I say? Not everyone can make that woman laugh out loud. So yeah, I got curious about what Hogan from Mills River said to make her crack up like that.
Either way, I get sent to yoga, where I end up on a mat with way too good a view of their rock climbing session.
The guy sure seems to touch her a whole lot more than necessary. Like when they get into their harnesses. His palm might as well be cradling her entire … harness area. I’m tempted to jump up and say something.
Like “dude, keep your hands off her area.”
But Sayla’s strong enough to stick up for herself, and anyway, I’m her coworker, not a jealous boyfriend.
Still, Fern must notice me noticing Sayla, because she clears her throat, waits for me to make eye contact with her, then says in a low, easy voice, “Be sure to pay attention to your breathing, everyone.”
Huh. At least she said “everyone” and didn’t call out my distractedness specifically. But how exactly am I supposed to pay attention to my breathing when Hogan’s spewing hot air all over Sayla?
“Now, let’s try inhaling again,” Fern says. “We’re going deep, taking oxygen into our bodies, for four seconds. One, two, three, four. In through your nose, to your chest, through your belly, and all the way down to your feet.”
Feet?
I don’t know about you, but I do not breathe with my feet.
As it turns out, exhaling is almost as big a production as the inhale, and we go like this for a while before Fern helps us get bendy and stretchy. Meanwhile, I do my best not to stare at Sayla the whole time.
When it’s the next group’s turn to climb the rock wall, Tori makes a beeline for me, probably wanting to pair up, so I quickly turn to Gretchen, one of the nurses, and offer to be her partner. Like I said before, Tori’s nice enough, but I definitely don’t want to give her the wrong idea.
Gretchen and I do just fine on the rock wall. Unlike Hogan, I manage to steer clear of her entire harness area, and I only look over my shoulder a couple of times to see how Sayla’s stretching and yoga is going.
Three times, max.
It takes about an hour for every group to finish their turns climbing. Afterward, Bob instructs us to gather on the mats for the next activity. Then Hildy tells us we’ll be back working in our same groups of six again.
Great.
One person stays up front, and the other five stand behind. Whoever is in front can close their eyes and let themselves fall backward. To really complete the challenge, you have to go straight back. No staggering of legs. Just stiff as a board, trusting the people behind will catch you.
Before we begin, Bob reminds us the mats are made to absorb our weight, sort of a guarantee we won’t be injured if we actually hit the ground. But they also don’t want anyone to participate who’s uncomfortable.
“In other words,” Hildy says, “these trust falls are totally voluntary.”
Still, I’m here to show I’m open for any challenge, right? So I give it a shot. A couple times.
Here’s the thing, though: Not knowing for sure there’s someone behind me, someone strong enough to catch my body as I drop, gets me in my head. So I keep stepping back. Opening my eyes. Balking when the time comes to actually trust the people behind me.
Sayla, though? She nails the fall every time. Eyes closed, arms crossed over her chest, she just lets go.
And someone always catches her.
Hogan.
Yeah.
At this point, I’m more than ready to change up groups.
I’ve had just about enough of watching Hogan fondle Sayla.
So after the trust fall, I head right to her during our break, hoping we can pair up for the final exercise before dinner.
According to the agenda, it’s a mystery activity.
I have no idea what that means, but I suppose that’s the point.
“Nice job on the rock wall,” I say. And I mean it.
“Thanks.” She clutches her clipboard to her chest. “You too.”
I’m not proud of this, but my chest swells a bit, thinking she was watching me. Then she says, “You need to work on your trust fall, though. And your stretching was abysmal.”
“Wow, Kroft.” I chuckle. “Way to take me down a peg.”
Her mouth quirks. “I counted two pegs, actually.”
Savage.
“Anyway, we should try to work together for this next activity,” she says. “It might be good for Bob and Hildy to see us cooperating.”
“I’ve been trying to work with you since lunch,” I say. “But I kind of got the feeling you were avoiding me.”
She shifts her weight. “I kind of was.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. The icebreaker was just … weird for me.” A tiny furrow forms on her brow. “All day has been weird. Between the drive here and the cabin sharing and everything, we’ve been around each other a lot. And that’s not ideal, you know?”
“That’s the whole point of coming here.”
“I’m aware.” She wrinkles her nose. “But at the end of all this, you and I are still competitors. We both want that grant, and only one of our departments can win. So I can’t afford to lose my edge.”
I stuff my hands in my pockets. “So we’re stuck here, supposedly figuring out a way to impress the accreditation committee, but you still want to hate me. Is that it?”
“In a nutshell.”
I huff out a breath. “I’ll resist the urge to make a joke about my nuts and stick with saying you aren’t losing your edge, Kroft. You won’t lose it.”
She blinks up at me. “How do you know?”
“All the evidence gathered over the past three years,” I say. “But the bottom line is we’ve got to deal with the SACSS first before we worry about the FRIG.”
Her lip quivers. “Those acronyms, though.”
“They’re something special, all right.”
“Mr. Wilford is—”
“Okay, Rebooters,” Hildy calls out. “Time for the mystery activity!”
She and Bob direct us outside and over to the campfire circle. Fern’s already seated there on one of the logs. Woodsmoke curls up from the center of a blazing fire, but the sky’s already tipped toward evening, and the temperatures have dropped with the sun.
Sayla lets out a little shiver, and I peel off my sweatshirt. “Here.” I transfer the oversized hoodie into her arms. “Layer this on top of yours.”
“I’ll be fine if we’re by the fire,” she says.
“Just take it. Please. I run hot anyway.”
A frown flashes across her face, but she lifts her arms and I help her put the sweatshirt on anyway. The sight of her in my Gray Squirrels hoodie does something to my heart. Tiny sparks flicker around my chest like the flames in the fire pit.
“Pick a log,” Bob says. “Any log. Then have a seat.”
“Maybe we’re making s’mores,” Sayla whispers.
“Before dinner?”
She shrugs. “A girl can hope.”
“Frankly, I’m good with anything as long as we’re done breathing into our feet.”
I point us toward a wide-open spot across the fire. As we sit, Hogan claims the other side of her. Then Tori sinks onto the spot next to me. Caroline drops down next to Tori, saving this from seeming like some kind of double date. Once everyone’s settled, Bob nods to indicate Fern.
“You’ve all had a chance to meet Fern by now,” he says. There are murmurs around the circle. Nods of acknowledgment. “Now she’s gonna lead us all in something really neat.”
Neat?
I’m skeptical.
“Hello again, friends.” Her even-keeled voice is steady over the pops and crackles of the fire. “Our yoga activity gave you all a chance to work on your physical muscles. And I’d like to invite you all to think back to that moment when you listened to your body. And to your breath.”
“How could I forget?” I whisper.
“Shh.” Sayla nudges me.