Chapter 7 Lucie
SEVEN
LUCIE
“Hey, Lucie, right?”
I raise my head to look up at the girl who just spoke to me. All dressed in black with a pretty corseted belt over a velour dress, with heavy goth makeup on her brown skin, I recognise her from my Behavioural Psychology class. I nod and she sits, introducing herself as Mina.
“I thought I was a pariah or something,” I tell her.
“It’s just that some guy warned everyone that no one is to approach you or they’ll die.” She rolls her eyes like the promise of death is something ridiculous. “Most people took it literally.”
“What?” I wonder why Milosh would do that. “What do you mean ‘warned everyone’?”
“Word on campus is that if anyone approaches you, they’ll get stabbed.”
“Yet, you’re here?”
“As if anyone was going to stab me,” she says cryptically and I wonder what her story is.
She talks a mile a minute with a strong New-York accent, sneers at every man who enters the cafe and takes up space around her.
Death or the threat of doesn’t phase her.
I fucking love her. She reminds me a lot of Irina. Neither of them cower to expectations.
“So you’ll come with?” She asks.
“Ugh?” I was way too focused on how cool she looks and how I’d love to be her friend to pay attention to what she was saying.
Also, the back of my mind screams at me to investigate who goes around campus warning anyone against me, but my money is on Milosh.
I’m also sure people have noticed him and Gemma following me around like guard dogs.
“The party on Saturday? All first years are going. It’s quite the staple.”
“Oh. Yeah, I… I’ll have to think about it.”
“Sure. Give me your phone.” I obey and she types her phone number into my contacts, handing me the device again with a half-smile. “I already texted myself. Expect me to pester you to join.”
I look around me as if she wasn’t just talking to me. I’ve known girlfriends pestering me to join a party. Usually, it was because they wanted to shag someone. This feels different. “Did you just see me and decide I needed a friend?” I ask self-deprecatingly.
“Kind of. I don’t have many friends either.
Not gonna lie, I also saw the monster porn on your e-reader behind your shoulder when you took a break, and wanted you to hook me up.
” She shrugs. If I had been drinking my tea, I’d have coughed it up.
I’m not a prude when it comes to sexuality, but I don’t advertise my reading preferences to the whole neighbourhood.
My cheeks feel heated and my ears burn as I start to explain that monster romance isn’t just porn and that this series in particular is pretty tame.
She pulls a well-loved paperback out of her bag hanging off her shoulder. The cover shows a spider humanoid and a woman tangled together. She winks before putting it back in. “See you soon, Lucie. Don’t stay up too late.”
I beam at my new friend. Soon after she leaves, I pick up my stuff and walk home, Gemma close behind.
She insists on not walking side by side so I can live as normal a life as I can—which I appreciate because Milosh is an overbearing asshole who doesn’t give a shit.
There’s nothing normal with the reminder that I have two bodyguards permanently looking over my shoulder.
I have to fucking ditch them. No way I’m going to a college party with two babysitters who’ll probably cockblock me and report my every move to my family.
The keys jingle in the lock and I stop short. I know for a fact that my place wasn’t that spotless when I went out this morning.
“Gemma?” I call out and she’s right behind me, gun in hand, stepping in front of me and placing herself between the danger of my clean flat and myself.
“What is it?” She asks, voice tense and body coiled to snap at my invisible aggressor.
“Why is my place so clean?”
“Oh.” She relaxes and place the weapon in her holster again. “I came in and vacuumed a bit. Just tidy up. It’s part of our contract.”
“What? No. No, no, no. You will never do that again. This is so embarrassing. Did Dante put you up to this?”
“Aleksei, actually.” She has the good sense to look chastised. “I won’t do it again if you don’t want that. I’m sorry, Lucie. I thought you’d be okay with it.”
The urge to smile and tell her it’s okay is strong but I take a deep breath and resist. Maybe if I can start with something small like this, I can be more assertive and do things for me.
“This isn’t your fault but I’m not okay with it. This is my space. It’s private and I don’t want you, or Milosh, or anyone else I haven’t invited to be in it.”
Nerves fire up my system, and my throat tightens. The urge to cover up my demand is a living entity inside me, but I resist it. Gemma nods, apologises and promises to never do it again. Then, she smiles and wishes me goodnight.
When the door closes, I exhale heavily. And fist-bump the air like an absolute loser.
Because for once, I wasn’t little Miss Sunshine, okay-with-everything Lucie.
It felt good to say what I really thought and place a boundary, however small.
Maybe Mina is already rubbing off on me.
Still high on my small victory, I text her.
Me
I’ll be there on Saturday.
She sends me back a string of emojis, an address and what to bring to her place for early drinks. I’m giddy when I go through my evening routine. Out of habit, I try to shut down the blinds, knowing they will not move but tonight, they go all the way down.
Now I feel bad for chastising Gemma. It’s actually quite nice they repaired this.
Maybe she also did some groceries for me.
I haven’t had a proper meal in days, living off ramen and baby carrots.
My stomach growls and I get to the kitchen.
Sure enough, the fridge is filled with ready-meals I can throw in the micro-wave and the pantry shelves overflow with almonds, my favourite chocolate brand, tinned foods, pasta, rice and other non-perishables.
I opt for one of the ready-meals, eating while reading my smutty book and devising a plan to ditch the couple next-door.
***
Turns out, it was way easier than I thought.
All I had to do was make a brownie—after making sure they both eat chocolate and aren’t allergic to nuts, a trip to the ER would be my fucking luck—to thank Gemma for cleaning my place.
I think they ate it and fell asleep with the amount of sleeping pills I mixed with the dough.
No one has to know. It will be my little secret.
Just in case, I pause on my way out of my flat. My door is loud as I close it but after a good six minutes of waiting, none of my jailers come out to follow me into the night.
I strut down the streets in my knee-high black boots and cute, short, sparkly dress.
My cat eye is sharp and lips black as always.
These past two weeks away from mafia business have been liberating, but nothing compares to the true freedom I’m experiencing now.
I pause. Inhale the cool September air and after making sure no one is around, shake my ass and body in victory. It feels good to be anonymous.
When I continue my journey on foot to Mina’s place, my heart hammers in my chest. As if aware of something I’m not, like my brain hasn’t caught on.
A shiver rakes up my spine and I glance over my shoulder.
Only the low lights and darkness greets me.
Passers by are going home or to their own Friday festivities.
No one pays me attention but the strange sensation doesn’t abate.
It’s somehow familiar. Like a shadow is watching over me.
I need to sleep better at night. I’m starting to get paranoid. That’s what happens when you have the childhood I’ve had. Though this particular shadow doesn’t scream danger and I don’t know what to make of that.
I keep my eyes on people around me as I walk, making sure to notice longer-than-normal stares or threatening body language. Yet, no one stops me or approaches me. My situational awareness radar must be broken with too little sleep and too much studying.
Mina buzzes me in when I ring her bell and before I know it, I’m pulled into the flat she shares with her older brother, Jay, and his boyfriend, Benoit.
I tense when the blue-eyed, blond man tells me he’s French but he’s from Brittany so there’s very little chance he’s heard about my family on the other side of the Hexagon and I want to keep it that way.
Jay looks so much like Mina they could be twins. Same brown skin, long dark lashes and a scowl permanently etched on his face, except when he looks at Benoit. They’re really cute together.
“Your stickers on your phone case are so nineties. Very chic,” Benoit says, a bright smile on his face.
I blush. My friends back home used to tease me relentlessly about the dolphin stickers obsession I have.
I put them everywhere. I wait for the joke, the petty comment or outright degrading laughter, but all three of them smile and keep munching on the food displayed in front of me.
“They kind of remind me of someone,” I say, unable to tell them the truth. My walls around my life, especially my parents, are high and made of concrete.
Tears fill my eyes and I look up at the ceiling. I worked hard on this make up, I won’t have it ruined. And especially not if I want to make new friends.
Mina takes my hand in hers. Her skin is warm, just like her smile when I finally meet her gaze. “You got to tell me where you get them. Maybe my laptop could use some cute stuff on it.”
“Mina, you literally have a laptop cover shaped like a coffin and a bedazzled crucifix on your phone case. Dolphins aren’t your vibes,” Benoit says and we all laugh. Mina and dolphins just don’t match aesthetically, but I appreciate how she diverted the conversation.
I inhale deeply, settled by her touch. I’ve never talked about my parents to anyone but my dad. Not even Dante knows the depth of my pain. How much I miss them.
Sensing that we need a distraction, Jay stands. “Alright, sluts, let’s get going.”
When we put our shoes back on, Mina holds me back and gives me a quick hug. “When you feel like talking about whoever you miss, I’m here for you.”
She winks and doesn’t let me dwell on her offer.
My cheeks hurt as I smile and nod, my throat clogging with the emotions rising to the surface.
If I had known what friendship truly is, I wouldn’t have wasted the past eight years cultivating shallow connections I mistook for it.
It makes me even more grateful Mina entered my life when she did.
It’ll be good to have a friend who doesn’t have any connection to the mafia and the world I come from.
Filled with too much red wine and so many dips I fear my belly might explode, we all walk the short distance to where the party is held.
The University’s basement.
“Pretty awesome, isn’t it?” Jay asks with a smirk when he sees Mina and I mouth agape at the image in front of us. Students are everywhere, drinking cheap beer while dancing and grinding to the rhythm of the DJ who set up on a random study table.
I’ve been to parties. Hell, I’ve hosted parties. I’m not unfamiliar with people drinking and dancing but it usually involved a posh club or a yacht, thousand-pounds bottle service and wrecked sports car.
This… This is raw. This is real. Laughter mixes with the music. The smell of stale beer and sweat should be disgusting but to me, it screams freedom and being care-free. Even with the sensation of eyes on my body, not coming from the crowd.
“Keep an eye on your drink at all times. Call me if you need me,” Jay tells us. In an instant, he and Benoit are swallowed by the swerving mass of drunk people.
“Mina!” someone yells in welcome before hugging her to his large, already sweaty body.
A drop of it is currently clinging to his sandy blond hair like it’s on a life mission not to fall.
He sees me and smiles like he’s known me all his life, hugging me, too.
I could have done without the wetness of his shirt touching me, and I wiggle out of his embrace as quickly as I can.
“I’m Josh. Mina’s boyfriend.” Then, like he remembers something important, he says, “wait, let me get my mates, you’re gonna love them. ”
“Sorry about that,” Mina says over the pounding music.
“About what?” I yell back. “The fact that you didn’t tell me you have a boyfriend or that he’s the sweetest jock I’ve ever met.”
“He’s not my boyfriend. I just sucked his dick in the library’s restroom a few nights ago and he won’t leave me alone ever since.”
I don’t know if it’s the strobe lights shifting around us, but her scowl seems lighter and she has that glint in her eyes. “Oh my God, you like him!”
“I don’t like him,” she scoffs. “He’s just different from…
” She hesitates and shifts on her feet. “He’s different from anyone I know.
” I know a lie when it’s said straight to my face but I don’t insist. Whatever it is she’s hiding, it looks like it runs deeper than just who she chooses to spend quality time with.
Before she can tell me how much she doesn’t like him, Josh is back with two friends in tow.
Same build, like they’re on a sports team or something, dazzling smiles meant to have panties dropping, and eyes already shifting with the alcohol.
I may have had a full bottle of wine by myself but it’s hard to miss that one of them, I think his name is Chris, keeps checking my tits out like he wants to bite them.
The shiver that runs down my spine this time? It has ants crawling all over my skin.
Josh and his other mate make up for it, all five of us dancing until I get dizzy, laughing freely and enjoying myself even more than I ever did in Nice.
I’m tempted to post something on social media just to see if my old friends would text me back, but before I know it, the thought is gone.
The need for their approval and their love fades as Mina takes my hand and we twirl all the way to the crowded bathroom.
Compliments from other women pour out as we reach the ladies room, about my dress, the way my ass looks.
We exchange lipgloss and redo each other’s make-up with drunken eyes. It’s one of the best nights of my life.
I take a picture with Mina and send it into my group chat with Aleksei, Irina and Dante. Our faces are smooched close and we’re laughing at the camera, cheeks blushing and make up smudged at the corner of our eyes.
I send it to Mina as well and she hugs me close.
“Let’s go, Loulou,” she says, the nickname easy between us and I smile.
“Let’s go, Mimi.”
The dance-floor swallows us again.