Chapter Seven
Jo
“Hey, Jo!” Rabbit yelled from across the room, holding up a sketch of a wild-eyed hare. I grinned, my pencil hovering over my own drawing as I watched him proudly display his creation.
“Looks great, Rabbit!” I called back, feeling the warmth of camaraderie wash over me. It had been nearly a week since I had arrived at the Underland MC clubhouse, and I was slowly settling into life here, finding joy in simple things like drawing again. It had started with Rabbit angrily drawing something when he’d been upset. It had looked like a horrific monster to me. Since I could tell it was Rabbit’s way of dealing with crap, I hadn’t asked too many questions. Instead, I’d found a piece of paper and pencil, then drawn a picture as well.
Once the club realized I had some artistic ability, they’d surprised me with two sketch pads, a set of art pencils, and some pens for inking fine lines. It had been a long time since I’d done anything like this, but I’d been enjoying it. It was a part of myself I’d lost after meeting Eddie.
As I returned to my drawing, Hatter walked in, a package tucked under his arm. His presence filled the room, demanding attention without even trying. He caught my eye and sauntered over, placing the package on the table beside me.
“Thought you might like this,” he said gruffly, nodding toward the box. I looked down at it, curiosity piqued, and carefully tore off the brown paper.
Inside was a sleek tablet, perfect for reading e-books and continuing my newfound love for art. My eyes widened, and I glanced up at Hatter, who was watching me closely. “You didn’t have to do this.”
Despite my words, I had to admit his gesture left me feeling deeply touched. No one had done anything like this for me before.
“Consider it a gift,” he replied simply, his voice low but warm. “I noticed you borrowed some books from Absolem and didn’t seem to like them much. I thought this way you could download as many as you wanted of your favorite authors or genres. They also said you could download some basic art programs to it.”
“Thank you,” I said genuinely, feeling a flutter in my chest. Hatter’s protective nature had always been apparent, but this act of kindness went beyond that -- it showed he truly cared about my happiness and well-being. When he did things like this, I fell for him a little more. He’d mentioned before that he wanted me to be his. It still felt like maybe it was too soon, and yet, the longer I was here, the more I was tempted to say yes.
“Anything for you, Jo.” The intensity of his gaze sent shivers down my spine, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to belong to him in every way. My cheeks warmed at the thought. Yeah, I had a feeling I’d be giving in to him soon. He’d been so patient and understanding.
“Hey, Hatter! You going to join our drawing session?” Rabbit asked, breaking the spell between us.
“Maybe next time,” Hatter replied, his eyes never leaving mine. With a final nod, he turned and walked away, leaving me with my new tablet and a racing heart.
In the other room, I could hear the low hum of voices. I knew they were discussing Eddie, my abusive ex-boyfriend, and how to handle him for good. Hatter had been careful to keep me out of it, shielding me from the danger of my past that followed me like a shadow. Instead of feeling offended, I was grateful to him. I knew he wasn’t keeping me in the dark because he thought I couldn’t handle it, but simply because he wanted to be my knight in shining armor. Some women would be offended by his behavior. I wasn’t.
I sat at the kitchen table, trying to focus on the sketch in front of me -- a mouse bathing in a cup of hot tea -- instead of the tension that seemed to cling to every corner of the clubhouse right now. My hand moved with deliberate precision as I captured the delicate details of the mouse’s fur and the steam rising from the tea. The world around me faded away, replaced by the strokes of my pencil.
“What are you working on there, Jo?” Rabbit’s voice pulled me back into reality.
“Nothing important,” I said, glancing up at him briefly before refocusing on my drawing. Truth be told, everything I’d drawn had been related to Underland in some way. Take this mouse, for instance… I wouldn’t exactly say it was the dormouse, but it could be.
“Looks pretty damn good to me,” Rabbit commented, peering over at my sketch. “You’ve got talent.”
“Thanks.” I felt like I was being rude. Normally, I’d have talked more. Right now, I was more worried about my growing feelings for Hatter, and how I should handle them.
“Hey, don’t worry about them,” Rabbit said softly, following my gaze toward the door. “Hatter knows what he’s doing.”
I nodded, letting him think that’s what I was worried about. Better than admitting I was terrified of falling in love with his club president.
“Trust me. We’ve all got each other’s backs here. No one goes down without a fight,” Rabbit added, patting my shoulder reassuringly.
“Thanks, Rabbit,” I said, forcing a small smile. I hoped he’d drop it, since he wasn’t even on the right path. Just the same, I wasn’t ready to admit I had feelings for Hatter. I barely wanted to acknowledge it myself. The thought of taking a chance again terrified me. Deep down, I knew he was nothing like Eddie. But then the little voice in my head would whisper, reminding me how nice Eddie had been in the beginning too, until I’d agreed to be his girlfriend. It was wrong to paint Hatter with the same brush, and I knew it, but it didn’t stop me from wanting to be overly cautious.
Returning to my drawing, I lost myself once more in the intricate details of the mouse and the cup of tea. The pencil scratched against the paper, lines forming and melding together, creating a world where danger and pain were far away. Not to mention my love life, or lack thereof.
My pencil glided effortlessly across the paper, capturing the whimsical characteristics of the tiny mouse. As an afterthought, I included a small top hat for him. Now he really looked like he belonged at the Mad Hatter’s tea party!
“Hey,” Hatter said, entering the room again. Was his meeting already over? He leaned down and stared at my page. “That’s really good, Jo.”
I didn’t say anything. Instead, I studied the page, looking for flaws, or spots I could have put in more detail or shading.
“What inspired you to draw that?” Hatter asked, nodding toward the sketch.
I hesitated for a moment before answering. “Well, I was thinking about the club and how it’s called Underland MC. It reminded me of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland , so I thought I’d do something whimsical like this.” My voice trailed off as I glanced back down at the drawing, feeling a little self-conscious. He hadn’t seen all my drawings. This mouse was only one of many. I’d drawn the Cheshire cat up in a tree. The caterpillar Absolem smoking on top of a mushroom. The Mad Hatter and March Hare having tea. I’d even made a drawing of the Red Queen and the Knave of Hearts. Although, the club didn’t have a Red Queen, and I certainly didn’t fit the description.
“Ah, I see. We named it Underland because we all felt like we fell down a rabbit hole after becoming civilians again. Except, unlike Alice, I wasn’t sure we’d have a lot of good times and adventures ahead of us. Time has proven me wrong.”
The dim kitchen light cast shadows on the walls as I leaned back in my chair, my eyes locked with Hatter’s. The air between us seemed to thicken, charged with an intensity that made it hard to breathe.
“Jo,” Hatter began quietly, his voice a low rumble that sent shivers down my spine. “I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?” I asked, trying to keep my composure as my heart raced in anticipation.
“Ever since you came here,” he said, his eyes searching mine for any sign of discomfort, “I’ve been drawn to you. There was something about your spirit and your strength that called to me. I knew we both carried our own scars, but I couldn’t help but want to be there for you -- to protect you and care for you.”
His words stirred something deep within me, awakening a longing I had buried beneath layers of pain and fear. I hesitated, unsure of how to respond, yet feeling an undeniable pull toward him.
“Your desire to watch over me meant so much, Hatter,” I admitted softly, feeling vulnerable under his intense gaze. “And I… I felt drawn to you too. There was a connection between us that I couldn’t explain, but it scared me because I didn’t know what it meant.”
“Neither did I,” Hatter confessed, his hand reaching up to brush a strand of hair from my face. “But I’m willing to explore it with you if you’d let me.”
As his fingers grazed my cheek, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to belong to him completely -- to surrender myself to this fierce protector who had shown me such kindness and understanding. The thought both terrified and excited me, leaving me torn between the desire for closeness and the fear of being hurt again.
“Can you trust me enough to take that chance?” Hatter asked.
I searched the depths of his eyes and found a sincerity that made my heart ache. It was a risk, I knew -- but then, so was living with the shadows of my past forever haunting me.
“Okay. I’ll take a chance with you. But Hatter… please don’t hurt me.”
A smile flickered across Hatter’s face, and as we stayed close to one another in the dim light, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, fate had brought us together to heal each other’s wounds and forge a brighter path through the darkness.
Hatter’s thumb came to rest under my chin, gently tilting my face upward until I met his eyes. “Every time I see you, I’m amazed at how beautiful you are. And I don’t just mean on the outside. There’s a sweetness to you, even after all the hell Eddie put you through.”
“I’m not beautiful,” I said. “But thank you for saying so.”
Our breaths mingled, my heart racing in anticipation, but instead of a kiss, Hatter simply pressed his forehead against mine -- a gesture of affection that felt both intimate and comforting. In that moment, I felt seen and understood, and it was more powerful than any passionate embrace could ever be.
He slowly backed away, and without a word, he walked off. I saw the tension in his shoulders, and the way he paused in the doorway. But he didn’t look back.
After he left, I felt a bit unsettled. Something told me if I gave Hatter the green light to pursue me, things would escalate quickly. He’d been considerate, and trying to go slow, give me time to heal and adjust. I’d honestly not expected such a courtesy from any man, much less a biker.
* * *
The full moon cast eerie shadows over the Underland MC’s compound, and the night pressed in around me like a living thing. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something big had happened. Hatter had been tight-lipped about the plan to deal with Eddie, but I knew they must have it nearly finalized.
“Hey.” Hatter’s voice came from behind me, startling me out of my thoughts. I turned to see him leaning against the doorframe, his face half-hidden by the darkness.
“Couldn’t sleep,” I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck.
“Me neither.” He crossed the distance between us, stopping just close enough for me to feel the heat radiating off his body.
“Are you worried?” The question slipped out before I could stop it. I didn’t want to pry, but I needed to know he was okay. Although, being a big, tough man, I wasn’t sure he’d admit it even if he was.
“Always,” he answered without hesitation. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”
We walked through the dimly lit hallway, our footsteps echoing softly. Hatter led me to the bedroom I’d been using, but we stopped outside the door. He reached down to grasp my hand, his hold light so that I could break away if I felt anxious.
“You changed my life, you know?” I glanced up at him, feeling almost overwhelmed by all the emotions that gripped me every time I looked at this man. “You showed me not all men are like Eddie and gave me a place where I finally felt like I belonged.”
“Because you do belong here, with us,” he replied, his voice firm with conviction.
“Does that mean… with you?” My heart raced in my chest, and I could barely get the words out. I couldn’t believe I’d actually said it. I wanted to close my eyes, turn away, or even run. Now that I’d put it out there, I wasn’t sure I could handle his response. Sure, he’d brought it up shortly after I first got here. Some time had passed, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he still wanted me, or if he’d changed his mind.
“Is that what you want?” Hatter asked.
“More than anything.” The words tumbled from my lips before I could stop them, but I knew they were true. As terrifying as it had been, I wanted to belong to Hatter, to be his in every way possible. At the same time, I worried I wasn’t ready yet. There was still so much I needed to process after being with Eddie, not to mention I was only just now starting to find my way back to who I used to be.
He didn’t respond right away, just studied me intently, as if trying to see into my soul. Finally, he spoke. “I won’t lie to you, Jo. I want you to be mine. But I also think you need a little more time, and I’m okay with that. I’m not going anywhere. There’s no rush to put a label on what we are, or what we could be.”
“Then that’s all I need to know.” As long as he wanted me as much as I wanted him, then I could go slow like he’d suggested. Maybe a part of me did worry if I didn’t say or do something now, he’d lose interest or find someone else, someone less broken. But thinking that way was a disservice to both of us.
“Are you sure?” His concern was palpable, and it warmed me to the core.
“Positive.” I smiled up at him, feeling a newfound sense of hope. I’d continue to heal and figure out who I was, and when I felt more like me and not so battered, then I’d tell him I was ready.
“All right then.” Hatter grinned, his face softening with affection. “Get some rest, Jo. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I nodded and gave him one last lingering look before slipping back into my bedroom. I stopped, staring at the package on the floor in front of me. It seemed someone had stopped by while I was wandering the clubhouse. Picking it up, I set it on the bed.
Inside, I found a few different packages, each with a note attached. The first was a box that contained a handheld game system and two games. I opened the paper taped to it. You seemed like the type who’d enjoy adventure games and puzzles. But if I’m wrong, then we’ll find something you do like -- together. Always wanted a little sister. Welcome home . It was signed From Absolem .
My eyes misted with tears at how sweet the gesture was. I’d played video games when I’d been much younger, although I’d never owned one myself. A few of my friends in school had them, and sometimes a group would go to their houses to hang out after school.
The next package had me laughing. Two water guns were wrapped inside a smaller gift bag. After lunch you and me are going to have a gunfight. Think you can win ? Of course, it was from Cheshire. It was probably his way of not only getting me to interact with the club, but possibly help me learn how to aim a gun or feel less awkward pulling a trigger. We’d had a discussion this morning about how I’d never fired any type of gun before.
The last was a flat box. I opened it to find colored pencils, an adult coloring book filled with animals, watercolor markers, and another sketch pad. I enjoy drawing with you . Simple and to the point. Without even signing his name, I knew it was from Rabbit.
The men here were all so sweet to me. I really did feel like I had a bunch of brothers. I’d gone from being isolated and beaten by Eddie, to finding this incredible place with all these amazing men. My new family.
Smiling, I put my new things away, and crawled back into the bed. This time I fell asleep with no trouble at all.