Chapter 8 #2
But I hadn’t been strong enough to go to the police when it happened.
If I had, perhaps this never would have happened to Cat.
And the other women. Tears pricked my eyes, and I swiped them away.
At the time, it hadn’t felt police-worthy.
I’d said no and run out of his hotel room.
Was there really anything the police could have done?
Maybe I should have at least spoken to HR.
I swallowed. “Well, I didn’t have the benefit of seeing what happened after someone else said no. Maybe if I’d been in your position, I would have done something similar.”
Would I have? I didn’t like to think about it, but it was quite possible.
“Are you planning to go public with what he did?” I asked.
“Yes, as long as Rebecca can get some other women on the record. I don’t want to be the only one.”
God, Cat was brave. Speaking out against Hollywood’s most powerful director and risking her career took guts. Meanwhile I’d spent the last two years trying to forget it all happened, and letting Phillip ruin my career.
“So you didn’t sign an NDA either?”
“No. One of his assistants reached out, offering me a significant amount of money if I did, but I refused. It took me a while to decide what to do. A few months ago, I read an article Rebecca had written about that Big Pharma CEO who harassed a number of his employees. After he was fired, I decided to reach out.”
So Cat was the only other woman Rebecca had found who could speak publicly. And she would only go on the record if other people did. “Aren’t you worried about the repercussions?”
“The last few years have been amazing, but it’s been hanging over my head the entire time.
Is all my success because I slept with him?
And if he did this to you and me, how many other women is he doing it to?
By speaking up, maybe I can at least do some good and get him back for what he’s done.
And if it tanks my career, well perhaps I never deserved it all to begin with. ”
“What? No way! You’re an incredible actor. You deserve all the roles, all the awards.”
I gripped my phone, heat rushing through my body.
How dare he. Not only had Phillip abused his power to pressure Cat into sleeping with him, but he’d made her doubt whether her success was really hers.
Of course it was. A niggling thought pulled at my chest. But would I have also had Cat’s successes if I’d capitulated?
I stood, walked over to the window and peered out again. It wasn’t worth speculating.
“Thanks for saying that.” In the background, someone said something, then Cat’s voice dropped to a whisper. “One of the reasons I wanted to speak to you was to see if you’d be willing to talk to Rebecca as well. Rebecca is good, Em. She’s doing everything she can to find evidence against him.”
I chewed on my lip as the cows trundled toward the back fence. Phillip had already done so much damage to my career. Would speaking out now undermine the career comeback I’d been working so hard to achieve? Who knew how the media and the industry would react. Would he try to twist what happened?
Nausea flooded my stomach. It didn’t seem fair that I’d had that horrible experience and was now under pressure to not only relive it, but relive it publicly, exposing something I’d kept hidden from my family and friends for years and possibly ruining my career in the process.
“This is terrible timing for me. I’m finally working again…
It’s just a HolLove movie, but it’s the only gig I’ve had outside voice overs since Clique wrapped.
Speaking out against one of the most powerful directors in Hollywood just as I’m trying to get a foothold again…
I don’t know.” I ran my hands over the fake wooden desk below the window.
“And I’m not sure how helpful my story would be anyway, since nothing ended up happening.
It was just a proposition. Maybe Rebecca will find some other women who are in a better place to speak out than me? ”
God, I sounded selfish. But maybe they could find someone else, someone who wouldn’t have as much to lose by speaking out? Or maybe they could wait a few months, until after The Christmas Tree Farm came out and I knew where I stood. But the longer this goes on, the more women it will happen to…
“First of all, the proposition was something,” Cat said, gently but firmly.
“It was completely inappropriate, not to mention illegal, for him to do that and then destroy your career because you said no. Please don’t downplay that.
But I get why you’re worried about speaking out.
I know it’s tough. Rebecca wants to move fast since apparently Phillip’s got wind of it and is trying to squash it. ”
“Are you thinking about going to the police as well? I don’t think what happened to me would amount to criminal conduct, but what he did to you…that sounds worthy of jail time to me.” I clenched my teeth. That asshole definitely deserved to be in jail.
“Maybe. My top priority is getting the word out, making sure he never works in the industry again. I don’t know if there’d be enough evidence to lay criminal charges against him—especially since I waited before speaking up.
And talking to Rebecca feels less intimidating than going to the police station.
” Cat paused. A man’s muffled voice sounded in the background again.
“Sorry Em, I’ve got to go. I’m on set in Utah.
But perhaps you could think about everything and we can chat some more soon? ”
“Okay, talk soon.” I hung up.
Shit.
Phillip deserved to be in jail.
I should speak up too. Join forces with Cat. Take the bastard down.
But the thought of having my story aired publicly, potentially further damaging my career... I swallowed. I couldn’t.
I stared at the time on my phone, heart thumping. Thirty minutes until my next scene. How the hell was I going to get back into character after Rebecca’s and Cat’s revelations?