Chapter 5
Jason
Over a game of golf at the exclusive country club Lucas and I were a part of, I couldn’t help but talk to David about my concerns with Jace and my growing confusion about Vivienne. He was older than me by about 20 years. If anyone could give me advice it would be him.
David gently points out that my self-imposed emotional isolation, while intended to protect my heart, might be doing more harm than good.
“Jason, you know you’re like a son to me. But I really think that you need to open yourself up to new connections, for both the sake of your sons and your own. Now, I know the situation with Vivienne is complicated right now. But maybe forming a friendship is the best you both can offer each right now.”
“Yeah, I know, David. I know. But it’s really hard for me to open up right now.”
“You’re making excuses right now. What are you afraid of? Believe it or not, I was in a similar situation once upon a time. I was so focused on building my empire that I was neglecting my family. I was even getting closer to a woman at work that I spent more time with than my own wife. I never cheated physically, but emotionally. When I realized I was about to blur a line with a colleague, I came clean to my wife and decided to see a marriage counselor. It turned out to be the best decision. Our counselor taught me the importance of vulnerability and love in healing our emotional scars together.”
“Thanks, man. I needed to hear those words. Now let’s finish this round of golf, instead of sitting around sounding sappy all day.”
On my drive home, I was lost in thought as David’s words echoed in my mind. “What are you afraid of?”
That was easy. Loving someone again and being vulnerable with them.
A few blocks from my penthouse, I was at red light when I glanced to my left where I saw a glimpse of Vivienne with two older boys. They must have been her sons. I quickly glanced around before pulling away, I didn’t see any man with her. I briefly wondered where her husband was.
Driving the few blocks home, I imagined a family life where Vivienne, her boys, and mine were at that park together with me. I imagined us going on family trips together.
This was dangerous thinking. I could never be with Vivienne like that. She was married. But could form a friendship with her? I just didn’t know how that would work or look, with the fact that she did have a husband. Was he the jealous type? Would he care that she had male friends?
I found myself needing to know more things about her. Even as I lied down in my bed that night, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed more of Vivienne in my life. Monday was going to be hell.