Haunted Ever After

Chapter 11

A fter a few too many yawns in quick succession I retreated to my room for a brief nap. The comforting weight of the lavender eye pillow relaxed me, and the scent reminded me of my mother’s hand cream. And that reminded me that I needed to remember to call her on Monday night to discuss the wedding day logistics and timetable. We’d be getting ready at her place so she could share in my special day, as our house wasn’t the most wheelchair friendly, though we planned to work on making it so after the wedding. Once Greg’s bonus came in we’d be able to pay for it.

I breathed slowly and took solace in the peace and quiet for a change, my body relishing the rest after a busy couple of days and not much sleep thanks to an unwelcome guest. I drifted in and out of sleep, thinking about my future life with Greg. Greg and Sally — together forever. This was it, no turning back, I’d found The One and my new life would begin in a week’s time.

‘Are you sure you’re ready for a lifetime commitment to him?’ I thought I’d dreamt the question, but I lifted the eye pillow a tad to see it was Red speaking, softly, seriously, as she sat on the edge of the bed.

‘Red, I’m trying to rest. ’

‘I’ve given you half an hour; I was a good girl, or ghost. Despite wanting to chat I kept my mouth shut, but now, why don’t we talk? Tell me, are you really ready for marriage?’

I shifted my upper body higher on the pillow so I was semi-reclined and placed the eye pillow next to me. ‘Of course I am, that’s why I’m getting married.’ I waved my left hand with my simple and stylish engagement ring in front of her.

‘But have you really thought about it? I mean, one guy for the rest of your life. No more new-relationship bliss, no more excitement of that first kiss, no more… you know what… with anyone else?’

‘I’m thirty. I’ve been there and done that. Greg still makes me feel excited and desired and happy, and I’m looking forward to being his wife, thank you very much.’ I crossed my arms over my chest.

‘But what if a couple of years down the track you meet someone else and think — crap, did I make the wrong decision? Wouldn’t you rather stay single a bit longer, just to be extra sure?’

‘I’m already extra sure. And why are you asking me all this?’

‘I’m being a friend, making sure you know what you’re getting into.’

‘This isn’t a crime syndicate, it’s a marriage. I know exactly what I’m getting into. ’

Red stood, paced around the room, then stopped in front of the bed. ‘Isn’t Ty a dream? So gorgeous and nice and charming, don’t you think?’

‘He’s reasonable.’

‘I can think of lots of words to describe him but reasonable ain’t one of them. Not that he isn’t, but it’s not exactly the most flattering term to use. Ty is exciting, and generous, and caring, and kind, and talented, and savvy, and dedicated, and determined, and… hot as hell, of course.’ She touched her finger to her arm and made a sizzling sound. ‘Don’t you feel even a hint of attraction towards him?’

‘I’m engaged to someone else, there’s no need for me to be attracted to him.’

‘You’re avoiding the question. Are you attracted to him?’

‘Red, what does it matter?’

‘You are, aren’t you.’

‘I’m impressed by him, he does such good work with those people, and he’s aspiring to new heights as a doctor. It’s commendable.’

‘I didn’t ask your opinion on his occupational choices, I’m asking about that inner, natural attraction that comes up of its own accord. Those feelings you can’t help but feel. I think he has them for you, but of course, he wouldn’t act on them. He’s a good man. ’

‘As if he likes me in that way. He’s just a flirt, it’s his job to be a flirt. And anyway, regardless of how incredibly beautiful he is and those “feelings”, as you call them, they’re just silly hormones, they’re nothing compared to the love I have for Greg.’

‘So it hasn’t crossed your mind that maybe, just maybe, you could have jumped the gun a little with Greg and wished you had more time to “shop the market”?’

‘No! I don’t.’ I pulled a cushion onto my lap and squeezed it. ‘Are you here as some sort of temptation challenge, to get me to question my commitment to Greg before the big day?’

‘I’m here to make sure you make the right decision.’

‘I already have made the right decision.’ I stood and approached her, careful not to raise my voice so loud that my friends would hear. ‘And if you ask me, I think you’re here for a very different reason.’

‘Oh yeah, what’s that?’

‘I think you’re jealous and you’re here to try and break me and Greg up.’ I jabbed my finger towards her in an accusatory manner. ‘I’m sorry that you’re…’ I waved my hands about, trying to think of an appropriate way to say ‘dead’, ‘… in this predicament, and I’m sorry that things didn’t work out between you and Greg when you were alive, but that doesn’t give you the right to come waltzing into my life in a pathetic attempt to steal my fiancé from me! ’

Red planted her hands on her hips. ‘I am not trying to steal him from you! How could I even do that, huh? In case you haven’t noticed, I’m dead!’ She tugged at her pyjamas.

‘Then you’re trying to stop me from having him. It’s like if you can’t have him no one can!’

‘Sally, Sally.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m not jealous. I’m just trying to get you to see things from a different perspective, to see whether you really have made the right decision or not.’

‘You don’t even know me, how can you even begin to know what’s right for me?’

‘I know what’s wrong for you,’ she said. ‘Or more accurately, who’s wrong for you,’ she mumbled, turning away.

‘What did you say?’

She turned around, chewing her bottom lip. ‘I didn’t want to tell you yet, wanted you to enjoy as much of your weekend as possible before you found out the truth.’

I furrowed my brow, waiting for her to continue.

She whooshed out a deep breath. ‘Greg’s not the man you think he is. I’m sorry, Sally, but he’s having an affair.’ Red lowered her head .

Oh the nerve of the woman! How dare she make up lies to try and stop me from marrying him so she can get her way!

‘Oh, sure he is! Yes, of course, why didn’t I see it?’ I smacked my forehead. ‘Do you really think I’m going to believe this? You’ve been nothing but trouble since you got here, and now you’ve gone too far. Greg’s mine, Red, mine ! You need to find that white light or whatever it is and let me get on with my life.’ I turned to the wardrobe and withdrew my outfit for this evening’s dinner out. I laid the black pants and mauve shirt on the bed, and took out a pair of ballet flats.

‘I’m not lying. Things are different here, in this… realm. I can sense things, feel things. Please believe me. I’m only doing this to help you, to stop you making the worst decision of your life.’

‘The worst decision of my life was letting you get away with what you’ve done this weekend, and letting you get on my nerves. And besides, Greg wouldn’t cheat, he wouldn’t do something like that.’

‘Yes he would.’

‘Oh really, and how do you know?’

Red sat, resigned, on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. ‘Because he did it to me too.’

It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be. As we walked to the Barron Springs Pub that evening, my mind went through everything Red had said; how Greg had gone behind her back to date, guess who? Me. According to her, he left her for me. I was the other woman, the mistress. The one everyone’s supposed to hate. But now I was the fiancé, the wife-to-be. Greg chose me.

‘You’re quiet, Sal, everything all right?’ asked Georgie.

‘Yes, all fine. Just enjoying the crisp, country air.’ I forced a smile. ‘And saving my voice for the rowdy pub.’ I managed a chuckle.

‘Oh yes, good idea.’ Lorena draped her arm around my shoulders, whether it was a subconscious act of support or the fact that she was tired and needed support herself I wasn’t sure.

If Red was telling the truth, which she wasn’t, but if she believed it to be the truth, then no wonder she wanted to drive me mad this weekend. To get back at me for (unknowingly) stealing her boyfriend, on the pretence of ‘just wanting to have fun’. But she seemed genuinely sorry for telling me. Genuinely hurt and worried about me. Oh, what am I thinking? She’s probably a pro at emotional manipulation, that might be why Greg left her and didn’t want to discuss his past relationship with whoever she was, because it was too distressing .

Anyway, I’d told her that if she truly cared about me in any way she’d leave me alone and let me enjoy a nice dinner with my bridesmaids. She’d already gotten in the way enough this weekend, and I wouldn’t let her, or the lies she told me, get in the way of this evening.

True to her promise, she was nowhere to be seen at the pub, and I managed to remove the silly thought of Greg being unfaithful from my mind and enjoy a great meal and conversation amid the homely, friendly atmosphere of the establishment. Georgie tried not to critique the simple, hearty meals, reminding herself she had the night off from cooking, and we were even treated to a karaoke performance by a local man who wasn’t half bad. Though his friend was terrible. And thank goodness I’d used up my dares because there was no way I was getting up there to sing in front of everyone. No, tonight was simply relaxed and enjoyable. It was nice to be around normal, living people, and not have to deal with the demands of Red interfering every chance she got.

After our main meals were devoured and we sat waiting to decide if we could fit in dessert, I excused myself and went to the ladies’ room. When I turned the lock to exit the cubicle a couple of minutes later, the door wouldn’t open.

Huh ?

I locked and unlocked it again, but it was stuck. Damn old pub, probably haven’t replaced the bathroom fittings for decades.

‘Now that you’re alone, I need to speak to you,’ a voice whispered, and I glanced up. Red was perched on the dividing wall between my cubicle and the next one.

‘Oh great, I should have known it was you. Let me out, Red!’

‘Not yet! There’s been a development. He’s with her now. I thought you should know.’

‘What?’

‘Greg, he’s with the woman right now. I saw it in my mind.’

‘Oh, well, then forgive me. If you saw it “in your mind”,’ I made quotation marks with my fingers, ‘it must be true.’ I continued to jiggle the door lock.

‘Call him if you don’t believe me. Call him and ask him who’s with him, see if he gets nervous.’

‘He’s on his buck’s weekend at a golf resort, I’m on my hen’s weekend, and we agreed to not talk until we see each other on Monday afternoon. I’m not going to disturb him and his friends.’

‘Look, Sally, I’m not lying, really I’m not. If you could only see what I see.’ She stared hard at my face with the same look she gave me back at the festival, when I was having the palm reading.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m trying to imprint my vision into your mind. Something tells me it’s possible, but I’ve been trying all day and it’s not working.’

‘Probably because it’s not possible, and because your vision ISN’T REAL!’

‘You should keep your voice down, you know, people might think you’re talking to yourself.’

‘I doubt they can hear me, the music’s too loud out there.’ I kicked at the door and pushed hard on the lock, but still no release.

‘Promise me you’ll think about what I’ve told you. That you’ll look into this and try to find proof.’

‘Oh yes, I’ll just ask him: Greg, honey, are you having an affair? That would go down real well.’

‘Look, just call him, see if you get any sort of hesitation on his part, some sort of hint that I might be telling the truth.’

‘Fine, I’ll call him, okay? It will be good to hear his voice. Now let me out of here.’ As I jiggled the lock, it gave way. The lock and handle but, sadly, not the door. ‘Oh no! Look what you’ve done now!’ I held the broken door handle up to her. ‘Now I’m really stuck! Fix it, Red, fix it! ’

‘Oops,’ she said, covering a laugh with her hand.

‘Oops? Is that all you can say? C’mon, use your… powers… or whatever they are, and open the door!’

She stared at the door with a strained face. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s well and truly broken.’ She held up her hands in defeat.

‘Argh!’ I ran my hands over my head and kicked at the door again, then knocked on it with my fist. ‘Help! I’m stuck in the toilet!’ If only I’d brought my handbag and phone in I could have called for help, but it was sitting safely under the table near Lorena’s foot.

‘They can’t hear you, remember? Music’s too loud.’

I glared at her.

‘Now if you’d listened to me back at the house you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you?’

‘No, if you hadn’t locked me in here in the first place I wouldn’t be in this situation!’ I scanned my cramped surroundings, and homed in on the spot where Red sat. ‘Move off, I’m going to climb up there and down into the next cubicle.’ I shooed her away with my hand and she jumped to the next dividing wall. I placed my hands on the toilet cistern for balance and propped my foot on the toilet seat. Like all great pubs, there was no lid on the toilet. I lifted my other foot up as well, grateful I had not agreed to Lorena’s offer to wear Georgie’s high-heeled shoes. Flats were comfortable and practical, and had much better grip. I swivelled my upper body to face the side wall and moved my right foot to the other side of the toilet seat, and gripped the top of the wall with my fingers. If I put one foot on the cistern for leverage I should be able to boost myself up enough to bend over the wall, then turn sideways and climb over to the neighbouring toilet seat.

I eyed my target and lifted my right foot to the cistern, then prepared to push against it. As I tightened my leg muscles in readiness and pushed, my left foot, which I had unfortunately not been paying much attention to, slipped off the toilet seat and into the abyss of the toilet bowl. I gasped at the cold water encasing my foot and soaking into my shoe, and winced at the bump my knee had sustained as it landed against the inner rim of the toilet seat.

‘Oh golly gosh!’ I exclaimed, trying to lift my foot from the bowl. It only sloshed about and dipped further into the hole. ‘Oh my goodness, I’m stuck! And, oh no! The germs, the germs!’ My foot would need autoclaving at the hospital after this.

Red peered over the cubicle and shrieked in hysterics. ‘Is there no limit to your amusement potential? You crack me up, girl!’

‘Is there no limit to your insensitivity? Help me!’

‘I would, but, it’s a bit difficult in my position. Though, if I concentrate real hard, I might just be able to make that little button go down and?— ’

‘No! You will not dare flush this toilet!’

‘Couldn’t I try a little flush?’

‘No!’

‘Oh, c’mon,’ she said, then started singing, ‘It’s just… a little flush…’ in the tune of Jennifer Paige’s pop song, Crush .

‘Argh!’ I took my attention away from my wet, trapped foot and focused on my dry, free foot and pushed against the toilet seat, lifting my heavy, soggy foot from the unhygienic depths of this nightmare. ‘Urgh! Yuck!’ I stood on the toilet seat gripping the wall, only now my foot was too slippery to even consider climbing up and over the wall. I hopped down and yanked off a long length of toilet paper and frantically dabbed at my foot, noticing then that my shoe was still stuck in the loo. ‘Why, oh why?’ It half poked out the top of the hole like a tiny beached whale, and it looked so pathetic and lonely. Kind of like me.

‘Where is my hand sanitiser when I need it?’ I dabbed at my foot some more, then banged on the door. ‘Help!’ I glanced down at the gap between the floor and the door. Hmm, maybe it’s not that small a gap. I measured it with my hands, then, keeping my hands at the same width apart, held them against my torso to see if I could fit through. It was possible. I was only petite, and thank goodness I wasn’t in Lorena’s condition .

Note to self: never go into an enclosed space without my phone. Or hand sanitiser.

‘Are you really going to crawl under there?’ Red asked.

‘You got a better idea?’

‘Nope.’

‘Exactly.’ I shook my head at her apparent lack of concern, and knelt on the floor. I placed each foot on either side of the toilet bowl so I could flatten my body as much as possible, and poked my head underneath the door. I wish I hadn’t eaten that risotto now; as tasty as it was, it was probably absorbing fluid by the minute and swelling up to ten times its size.

As though I was doing yoga, I concentrated on lengthening my spine so I could slither out, but with the lack of space for leverage it was proving difficult. I wriggled under the door, inching my shoulders through. If I could get my upper body out, the rest would be easy. But then I remembered my left shoe was still stuck in the toilet and I wouldn’t be able to get back in without breaking the door down. Oh no, why didn’t I just pluck it out and toss it under the door? Too late now. The priority was getting myself out.

Slowly, I edged my shoulders through, squashing my boobs as much as possible, not that there was much to squash, and tried not to think of all the bacteria that was multiplying on my hands pressed to the bathroom floor, not to mention my foot, which felt incredibly icky.

Okay, now, I’ll just try to push off the bowl with my feet, then I should be out. But my feet wouldn’t take, they just slipped around like a bar of soap. So I used all the arm and upper body strength I could muster and grunted, but my body would not budge. I couldn’t go any further! Oh no, oh no … Panic spiralled within. Maybe I should reverse my movements, get back in and rethink my approach. I pushed in the other direction, but I couldn’t move that way either. ‘Red! Do something, anything! I’m trapped!’

‘Oh, Jesus, hang on, umm… let me think…’

‘Speaking of Jesus, have you met him on the other side? Maybe you can ask for a miracle or something. Please?’ It was hard to speak through my compressed chest, and my ribs hurt against the cold hard floor.

‘I don’t seem to have progressed that far yet, I’m afraid, Sal. Could you maybe blow out a long breath to empty your lungs and then quickly push yourself out?’

Actually, that was the most useful thing she’d said all day. I breathed in, which was painful, then exhaled as much as I could and inched forwards. But as soon as I moved a little my need for oxygen took over and I had to breathe in again. ‘Damn it! ’

My eyes darted to the side as the door to the bathroom squeaked open. Oh thank goodness! I’m going to be rescued!

‘Sally, oh my God! What happened?’ Lorena crouched next to me as best as she could.

‘I got locked in, the door handle broke, and as you can see I thought it would be smart to crawl underneath but now I’m stuck!’

‘Oh, sweetie, you poor thing!’ She patted my head. ‘Hang on, I’ll go get help.’

Maybe Georgie could get me out of this mess. I could grab hold of the backs of her ankles and she could walk forwards, like a human tow truck. I knew she was strong enough.

Seconds later I recognised her smart, black heels as she walked through the door, followed by Mel’s strappy pair (and her riotous laughter).

‘Sally, you are such a sight! Hang on…’ I heard a click sound.

‘Did you just take a photo? Mel, how could you!’

‘Sorry, but you’ll laugh when you look back on it. Don’t worry, we’ll get you out, the four of us can manage it, I’m sure.’

‘The four of us? As you can see, I’m not exactly much help to myself right now.’

‘We brought an extra set of hands,’ Mel said .

And feet, obviously, as a pair of strong men’s feet shod in black boots walked into the ladies’ bathroom. ‘I think playing Twister gave you false confidence in your level of flexibility.’ The deep voice was unmistakeable. So was the chuckle that followed.

Ty.

I tilted my head a little and glanced in his direction. Could this day get any more embarrassing? ‘Can you all quit making fun of me and get me out of here, please?’

‘Hey, hey, why the angry tone of voice?’ Ty asked. ‘It’s not the end of the world. Try to think positive. Every difficult situation has a silver lining.’

Silver lining? What silver lining? I’m stuck between a toilet door and a dirty floor with a soggy foot whose shoe has gone for a late night skinny dip in an unhygienic body of water.

‘I have one!’ said Lorena. ‘At least you’re not pregnant.’

‘Yeah, already thought of that. Try again.’

‘Ooh, I know,’ Mel said. ‘At least you’re not a D cup like me. These whoppers wouldn’t have a chance in hell of getting through that gap.’

‘Gee, thanks for pointing that out, Mel.’ Nice to know everyone had my small bra size on their mind right now .

Ty spoke next. ‘Okay, what I’ll do is I’ll climb into the cubicle from the other one, and Georgie, you pull Sally under her shoulders while I push her from behind.’ To an eavesdropper, this could potentially sound a little odd.

‘But what if you get stuck inside too, Ty?’ I asked. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck in here with Ty, and my backside poking underneath the door and on display.

‘Then we’ll have a lot of time to get to know each other better,’ he replied, moving away and stepping onto the neighbouring toilet bowl (which probably had a lid). He grunted, and before I knew it his feet were either side of my thighs, standing above me.

‘Will you be wanting this shoe?’ he asked.

‘Well, I do need to walk back to the house, but after that it’s going in the bin.’

A slosh of toilet water made me gag. ‘Incoming,’ he called, and my gaze darted to the left as my shoe landed on the floor outside the cubicle. He rescued my shoe for me? His hand would need sanitising too.

‘Don’t worry, Sal. I’ll give this a wash and dry it under the hand dryer,’ said Mel. ‘I’ve had to clean worse things before.’ Her voice was followed by the sound of running water.

‘Thanks, Mel. ’

‘Right, ready, Georgie?’ asked Ty. ‘On the count of three, pull. And, Sally? Breathe out as much as possible to flatten your chest.’

‘Yep, that’s what…’ I trailed off when I realised I was about to tell them that’s what Red had suggested. ‘… that’s what I thought might help.’

I took a breath in and held it.

‘One, two, three!’

I breathed out and as Georgie’s hands gripped my armpits and pulled, Ty’s hands held firmly onto the sides of my hips and pushed me forwards. And as though I was being born again through the birth canal, my torso was free and the rest of me slipped out easily. Lorena clapped as I scrambled to my feet, shaking my hands violently and making a mad dash for the sink to wash my hands and feet. When my hands were reasonably clean, albeit without the protection of sanitiser, I stretched my foot up and over the sink and under the running water. I lathered soap all over it, while Mel dried my shoe under the hand dryer.

‘Yuck, yuck, yuck!’ I said, washing as fast as I could.

Lorena disappeared for a moment then returned with my handbag, holding up my hand sanitiser. ‘You were right, I guess this did come in handy.’ I dried my foot and she squirted some onto my hand so I could rub it into my foot .

‘Thanks, Lorena, and thanks guys.’ I glanced around. ‘I thought I’d never get out.’

In my haste to cleanse myself I hadn’t noticed that Ty had climbed back over to the other cubicle and back into the bathroom, and was now washing his hands.

‘How did the door handle break, anyway?’ he asked.

I glanced at Red, who looked guilty, and said, ‘It was just a bit wonky, and when I tried to unlock it, it came right off.’

‘I’ll have a word to Sam — he owns the pub — tell him it’s probably time for a few upgrades in here.’

‘Yes, that would be much appreciated, not that I think I’ll risk using this bathroom anytime again in the near future.’

With my shoe now back on my foot and my shoulder supporting my handbag (which would need a thorough clean due to cross contamination), we walked out of the bathroom. Finally.

‘Where did you suddenly appear from anyway?’ I asked Ty. He had a habit of doing that. But it was a small town.

‘Just popped in for a drink after dinner. Cody’s fast asleep back home. Got up too early this morning with all the excitement about performing at the festival. ’

‘Yeah, Ty’s going to join us for a bit, aren’t you, Ty?’ Mel said.

‘I won’t say no.’

‘You guys go back to the table, I’ll just make a quick phone call.’

I missed Greg. I needed to hear his voice, to settle my nerves and remind myself that he was my loving, caring, and faithful fiancé.

‘Hello?’ he answered on the third ring. A faint sound of someone coughing could be heard in the background.

‘Hi, Greg.’

‘Sal? How are you? Is everything all right?’ The background cough returned, a feminine-sounding cough.

‘Yes, everything’s fine, I just missed you. How’s your buck’s weekend?’

‘Oh, it’s fine too. Great. How’s yours?’ After he spoke I heard a woman’s voice ask for a drink. He must be in a bar with his mates, like me. Except there wasn’t the usual background noise.

‘Um, pretty good. Lots of fun, you know Lorena, she sure knows how to plan a party.’ I chuckled. ‘Where are you?’

‘I’m out to dinner with the guys,’ he said softly .

‘I guess they’re all filling their mouths with food.’

‘Huh?’

‘It’s quiet. Your mates are usually pretty rowdy.’

‘Oh, oh yes. A couple have gone over to the bar, the rest are eating.’ More feminine throat clearing, then the sound of someone saying, ‘Your water, madam.’

Greg’s voice was different. Distant. Reserved. Maybe it was just what Red had said clouding my judgement. Making me anticipate a problem when there wasn’t one.

‘Anyway, I must get going, but thanks for calling, I’ll see you on Monday,’ he said. And without his usual ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’ addition. It was as though I was a business associate and he was confirming a meeting.

‘Okay then, say hi to the guys for me.’

‘I will.’

‘And, Greg?’

‘Yes?’

‘I love you.’

There was a pause, then: ‘Same to you.’

I hung up, and was left with an awful, hollow feeling that something was not right. He always said ‘I love you too’ whenever I said it first. He never said ‘same to you’, that was what you said to someone who wished you a good day. Was it just that he was in front of his mates and didn’t want to be seen getting all mushy and romantic?

I stood still on the spot for a while, trying to make sense of our stilted conversation and Red’s outrageous accusations that, despite my not believing her, had cast a slight shadow of concern in my mind.

‘I’ll be at the guest house when you’re ready to talk,’ Red said, and before I had a chance to meet her eyes she’d disappeared.

I put the phone back in my bag and returned to the table, suddenly not feeling like any dessert or conversation.

‘I’m having sticky date pudding, what are you having, Sal?’ Mel asked.

‘Actually, I think I might head back to the house, if you don’t mind?’

‘Are you okay?’ Lorena asked.

‘Yeah yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit tired, and the whole getting stuck thing was a bit of an ordeal. But you guys stay here and have dessert, don’t let me cut the night short.’

‘But you can’t walk back by yourself,’ said Georgie. ‘Do you want me to walk with you? ’

‘No, I’ll be right, it’s not far, and I have my panic alert thingy on my key ring.’

Ty stood from his chair at the end of our table. ‘I’ll walk you back,’ he said.

‘Oh, I don’t want to disrupt your Saturday night.’

‘No disruption. I should probably get back home anyway, now that I’ve had my drink and done my civic duty of rescuing maidens in distress from faulty toilet cubicles.’ He winked.

‘Good idea, go with Ty, Sal.’ Georgie said. ‘And text me when you’re back inside.’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Mel. ‘We’ll see you when we’ve finished stuffing our faces.’

I smiled and walked out of the pub, and at the bottom of the steps Ty held out his hand for me to grasp it. ‘Your chariot awaits.’

I eyed his hand and remembered the shoe-rescuing mission. ‘Here,’ I said, pulling the hand sanitiser out of my bag and handing it to him.

‘Flexible, amusing, and hygienic,’ he stated. ‘You’re just full of surprises.’ He rubbed the liquid over his hands, returned the bottle to me, then held out his hand again to encourage me off the steps.

This time I took it.