Chapter 11
brENNA
Oh shit.
Oh fucking shit!
My eyes pop open and my head is pounding. My mouth is dry and it feels like I’ve just run five miles uphill.
That’s not the most alarming part though. The most alarming part of all this is the fact that I’m not in this bed alone or the fact that I’m not sleeping in my own room.
I whimper softly and turn my head.
This has to be a nightmare.
One of the better ones I’ve had in the past few weeks but still a nightmare.
I blink a few times, trying to force my brain to erase the image in front of my eyes. It doesn’t.
This isn’t a nightmare. This truly happened.
I had sex with Cormac last night. He’s still sleeping like a baby next to me. Thankfully he’s turned away from me, his back to me.
My eyes scan his body and I see the evidence of our carnal ride. My scratch marks crisscross his back.
Panic takes over when I take note of my own body. There are no bruises or extra pains, only a deep, humming satisfaction. It’s clear that I was a willing participant in the sex he and I had last night.
Lying still for a few more seconds, flashes of what happened last night start to filter into my mind.
I was drunk, but I told him I wanted it. Hell, I even goaded him on. He stopped a few times to make sure that I did. He was gentle and attentive. All in all he was a good lover. The best I’ve ever had.
Which is more of the same problem.
He can’t be my best anything. He’s my captor. I should be wanting to get away from him, not wanting to have him rock my body the way he did last night all over again.
If I let him know that I want more of what happened, he’ll hold it over my head, use it against me. I don’t need to give him any more ammunition.
It’s a shame, truly. If Cormac and I had met under different circumstances, if our fathers didn’t force us into this blood pact of a marriage, maybe we could’ve made a good team.
The prickly outer shell that Cormac wears is just that, a costume. A defense for other people. I’m actually a bit honored that he managed to lower his shields even momentarily for me last night.
Still, that doesn’t mean things will change.
He’s still Cormac O’Sullivan and I’m still the bride he was forced to marry.
Slowly I sit up in the bed, doing my best not to make too many movements. I don’t want to wake him up.
I slide my feet to the ground. The chill zaps up through the soles of my feet and takes root in my bones again.
Cormac keeps fireplaces burning all over this mansion. I just can’t understand why this house is always so damn cold. I ignore my initial discomfort and slide out of the bed. Thankfully, he threw my clothes all in the same spot. I grab my dress and slide it on over my head.
I can smell a combination of his scent and mine. It’s comforting. I raise the collar of it to my nose and take in a deep whiff. More memories come flooding back from last night. The laughter, the stories, the long walk.
It really seems like I made a difference with him last night, but I don’t want to chance it. I can’t open myself up like that.
Quickly, I grab my panties and shoes and tiptoe out of the room. I breathe a sigh of relief when I close the door quietly behind me. The candles are still lit and I don’t dare flick on any of the lights. Instead, I make my way to one of the windows to look outside.
It’s nearly dawn. I can see the sun’s glow starting to tint the dark sky different shades of purple and orange.
I make my way to my room and quickly change out of the dress into appropriate night clothes. I could use a few more hours’ sleep. Maybe do a better job of trying to forget what I let myself do last night.
I snuggle into my bed and turn to my side. My inner thighs are sore from taking the pounding that Cormac gave me last night.
As much as I want to forget, I’m almost certain there are parts of last night that will live with me forever.
The way he looked at me like I was the most precious gift.
The surprise in his voice when I told him that I could only see him and not just the scar on the side of his face.
The way he held me like I was the only thing that mattered as he finished deep inside of me.
“Shit!” I hiss and shoot straight up in bed. He came inside of me. I’m not on birth control.
How the hell do I forget about what happened last night if there’s a possibility that I could get pregnant?
Quickly I do a calculation in my head. I’ve only just recently finished my period.
It’s not the right time, thankfully. Still, I’ve heard of people getting pregnant when they thought they couldn’t. I’m not ready for a child.
I gnaw at my bottom lip as I think about what my life would look like if I did have Cormac’s seed. More seclusion. More loneliness. Just with a reminder of how little I’m worth. Would he even keep me around after I gave birth? I wouldn’t be of any more use.
Sadness threatens to consume me as I flop back down on the bed. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I can only hope my body is on the correct cycle and I’m not ovulating.
This will never happen again. I must make sure of it. I have to keep Cormac at arm’s length. I have to protect myself from the seemingly innocent charm he pretends to not know he possesses.
When my father sent me here, he sent me here alone. I’m the only one who is going to take care of me. It’s high time I remember that.
CORMAC
I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt this rested, or even slept this long.
I don’t need to look at my clock to know it’s well past the time I usually get up.
There is not an ounce of tension anywhere in my body. Is this what I’ve been missing all along, not having sex?
The second the thought goes through my mind I dismiss it. It’s not just sex that has me feeling like this, it’s because I had sex with Brenna. If I take her out of the situation and put in anyone else, I wouldn’t be feeling like this.
I stretch my arms over my head, trying to get my body to wake up. Letting my hand fall gently behind, I feel for Brenna. Panic crawls up my spine when I realize that she’s not in the bed with me.
I turn, looking around the room for her.
Her clothes aren’t in the pile I threw them in.
Pushing the uneasiness away, I convince myself she’s only woken up before me and went to get her day started. She’s probably in the kitchen eating breakfast.
Excited to be in her presence again, I push myself out of the bed and grab a pair of sweats and a T-shirt to put on. I light candles and pull the drapes to the windows open a little to let some sunlight in.
I go to my en suite bathroom and clean myself up, trying to look presentable again.
After that, I make my way out to the kitchen area. It’s empty. In fact, it doesn’t look as if anyone has been in here. I go back to the dining room and the dinner from last night is still there. I’m going to have to clean that up.
I check the library, no Brenna.
The uneasiness that I’ve been trying to ignore is gnawing at me.
Once I check all the places she normally is, I stop by the door to her room.
I don’t knock. Instead, I just open it up. She is sitting in the chair reading a book. She’s wearing pajamas, looking extra comfortable, but she doesn’t look up at me as I stand there. Almost as if she’s going out of her way to not see me.
Rejection takes the place of the uneasiness.
“Brenna?” I call to her.
“Yes, Cormac?” She sighs, and I hear the annoyance in her voice. She doesn’t want me in her space.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, besides this hangover.” She answers as she turns the page in her book, still not looking up at me.
Hangover? She didn’t seem drunk last night. Maybe the activities exacerbated it.
“Do you need anything for it?” I ask, trying to make myself useful.
“I can get what I need for myself.” She closes her book and finally looks up at me. “Did you need something?”
It’s like emotional whiplash. I don’t know how to react, but the one emotion I can identify is anger.
“Do you want to talk about what happened last night?” I ask her, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Nothing happened last night. We had a nice dinner. A walk. And I drank too much. That’s all. Why would we need to talk about that?” She tilts her head and my eyes nearly bug out of my head.
“Really? That’s all you believe happened last night?”
“Yes. Nothing of great importance.” She shrugs and goes back to reading her book.
This can’t be real. Is she honestly going to sit there and pretend that she doesn’t remember the earth-shattering sex we shared? It’s offensive. I may not be experienced, but I know she enjoyed herself. My sheets are still damp from her arousal.
I nod my head. She’s playing games.
Games I don’t partake in.
So be it. If she wants to pretend like last night didn’t happen, I can do that too.
“We’ve got a meeting to go to. Be dressed in an hour and ready to go.”
She sighs and drops her book in her lap. “Do I really have to? I’m sure your security is more than capable of making sure your possession is locked up safely in this house.” Her eyes narrow on mine, further spiking my anger.
“Did I ask you for your opinion on what my security detail is able to do? No. I told you to be ready. Either you’re dressed and ready to go, or I’ll drag you out just like that. Don’t test me, Brenna.” I snarl at her.
She clamps her lips together tightly and I watch her eyes flare with rage.
I don’t care.
She chose this.
It was silly of me to think that one night together would be enough to change our dynamic. She’s right about one thing. She’s my possession. Nothing more.
I can’t get that confused.
***
The meeting is nearly on the other side of the state. It’s a long ride and Brenna actually sleeps for the long drive there.
Today, my father has me checking in on a group who has been flying in some of our most important equipment. The issue is several times over the last few months the shipments have either come in late or have had other problems when it came to pickups.
I can’t let that stand.