Chapter 12
12
We were nearly home by the time Lily had heard all about Jack’s animal project, spelling test and how Jamie had wanted to swap lunch but he didn’t want to because Jamie had raisins instead of a brownie, so Jamie had thrown a raisin that hit Kendra in the eye, and so it went on. The second he’d left the school gates, he’d ripped his polo shirt off and stuck on the cowboy hat squashed in his bookbag.
Flora’s day was ‘Whatever,’ answered with the disdain perfected by all tweenagers. She then dropped the sneer to ask what I’d been doing.
‘I mean, apart from the hideousness of shopping with my mother. I bet she haggled over every penny, as if we’re paupers scrabbling for a crust of bread.’
‘The reason we aren’t paupers is because your mother knows how to negotiate a decent bargain,’ Lily replied. ‘You’ll be wishing you had my negotiating skills when reading time gets cut again due to more rudeness.’
‘We’re going to the farmhouse so there’ll be no reading time anyway,’ Flora scoffed, before catching her mum’s face in the rear-view mirror and hastily adding, ‘Sorry for being rude about how embarrassing your haggling is.’
‘It wasn’t at all embarrassing,’ I said, twisting around in the front seat. Lily was positively easy-going compared to my mother. ‘My mum used to bring her own kitchen scales to the wholesalers because she was convinced the cheesemongers were dodgy. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she was right. But they matched up perfectly every time.’
‘Your mammy sounds weird,’ Jack said.
‘She was pretty unusual, yes. But her fierce business skills helped create the best pasty company outside Cornwall, so it was worth it.’
‘What did you do this afternoon, then?’ Lily asked.
I described going to the café, which they agreed served irresistible cakes, and how my decision to read a book on the beach ended up with losing both my lunch, and the book, but gaining a lobster roll, thanks to the dog’s owner, Celine.
‘She seemed to know your family,’ I added.
‘That’s because there are three thousand and forty-one year-round residents on this piffling island,’ Flora said. ‘We all know everyone else. In far too much detail. You literally can’t fart some days without the entire population smelling it.’
‘Maybe your stinky farts!’ Jack giggled, causing Flora to reach over and tickle him until he squealed.
‘Celine was at school with Iris,’ Lily explained, slowing to turn onto the lane leading to the barn.
‘Iris is your younger sister?’
Lily nodded. ‘Ma had me, Violet and Pip in three years, then Iris four years later. Surprise fourth babies turn out to be a family trait. It’s also probably worth you knowing that Celine has the classic best-friend’s-older-brother crush.’
‘Right.’ That put a different slant on our conversation.
‘And while we’re talking about it, because I don’t want you to be on the back foot, and because my brother clearly likes you, as do I – given the limited dating pool, he and Celine used to go out.’
‘Is it overstepping if I ask if they were serious?’
‘Celine started prepping for the role of farmer’s wife with her toy stuffed sheep. Most people assumed it was inevitable. They had a few casual dates once he was back from his first stint at uni and she was old enough for the age gap not to matter, then were in a proper relationship for about a year before he left for the master’s degree. They broke up when he realised she was deadly serious, and he wasn’t ready for that.’
‘She told him that if he didn’t ask her to marry him soon, they were totally done, for good this time, and she’d find herself a man who wasn’t so effing scared of a real relationship,’ Flora said, holding up her hands to convey the drama.
‘Excuse me?’ Lily barked as she pulled to a stop by the side of the house.
‘What? I said effing. She said the whole word!’
‘Are you really Harriet the Spy in disguise?’ Lily sighed.
‘It’s not like there’s anything else happening on this prehistoric lump of rock.’ Flora might have sounded sullen, but I spotted her helping Jack undo his seat belt and making sure he’d not forgotten his goose collage.
Beanie appeared at the top of the stairs as soon as we entered the house, Malcolm dashing after her to retrieve the lilac-covered paintbrush and strip off her spattered smock. I went to shower off the sand while everyone else trooped into the kitchen for snacks and general chaos. It was fair to say that hearing about Celine had been a drawing pin in the rapidly inflating balloon of foolish notions I’d been harbouring since Monday. I wasn’t here chasing after Pip. If anything, I was searching for clues about my mother. But I had been dreaming about him for almost two years. I’d never expected those dreams to come true, until he’d strolled up to the kiosk a few days ago. Now Blessing, and Ivor at the check-in desk, Lily and even that stupid lottery ticket had made me believe that amazing things were possible, even for someone as unamazing as me.
Celine and Pip had broken up because he hadn’t been ready to commit. But he was older now. He’d made it clear that he wanted to settle on the island, run the farm one day. There was the beautiful Celine, who’d been eager to be Pip’s wife her whole life, and here was me, a mainlander, who had no idea what she wanted. And, even if she did, neither the courage nor the freedom to go after it.
‘No,’ Lily said firmly, when I slunk downstairs an hour later. She’d changed into a khaki linen jumpsuit that showed off the gentle curve of her bump and was now sitting at the outside table, reading a recipe book. I’d swapped into the second dress Blessing had selected, which had puffed, off-the-shoulder sleeves, a fitted waist and tiered skirt in dark cream, covered in tiny leaves and flowers. It felt perfect for ambling through summer meadows or milling at a party with a glass of gin and tonic.
‘You aren’t wimping out and staying here by yourself because my brother’s ex-girlfriend made some snide comments.’
‘I never said she made any comments.’
‘You didn’t have to. Celine is fine, but when it comes to Pip, she’s completely irrational. And you aren’t letting her win.’
‘Win what?’ I asked, sinking into the chair opposite her.
‘Win at bullying you into missing a fun evening because she’s scared you’ll snag her island farmer.’
‘I don’t think she was trying to bully me.’
‘Did you feel bullied?’ She poured me a glass of iced water from a jug on the table while I considered that.
‘I’m so out of my comfort zone here, it’s easy to feel intimidated.’
Lily’s face softened. ‘Do I intimidate you?’
I shrugged. ‘Beanie intimidates me.’
‘It’s so long since I’ve spent any time on the mainland, I forget what it’s like to be somewhere full of strange rules without the unwritten rulebook.’
‘You also make me feel very welcome, and as relaxed as it’s possible for me to be, given this is the first time I’ve stayed in a different bed since I was fifteen.’
She sat back, surprised. ‘And you managed to sleep?’
‘Better than I do most nights at home.’
A satisfied grin spread across her features. ‘I’m sorry. This is a soul-baring moment, but you just made my B&B dream come true.’
‘Mammy, are we going yet?’ Jack asked, tumbling through the door into the garden. ‘I’m so-o-o-o hungry and Grammie said she’s making pot sausage. Emmie, do you like pot sausage?’
‘I have no idea,’ I said.
‘But once Jack has put on his shirt, you’re coming to try it, aren’t you?’ Lily asked gently, nudging my foot under the table. ‘Because if I turn up without Pip’s friend, I’ll get sent straight back to fetch you. And I’m not making my brother sad on his second night home.’
‘I’ll go and get ready.’
‘Ugh.’ Jack slumped onto the floor. ‘I might be so starving I’ve died by then.’
It turned out we were cycling to the farmhouse, Beanie on a seat behind Lily and Jack in one of those tag-a-long bikes attached to his dad’s.
Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long for me to end up trailing behind. After turning off a dusty path onto the side of a large field, Flora dropped back to cycle alongside me.
‘Everyone’s going to want to talk to you, but if you’re nervous, you can hang out with me, if you like,’ she said, glancing over to where I was starting to sweat.
‘That’s really kind of you, thank you,’ I managed between huffs.
‘It’s not, actually. I love my family but I’ve been hanging out with the same people every single day my whole life. How is that preparation for my future? I need information about the real world from a real person, not just dumb books from the mobile library.’
‘Flora, the island is a valid part of the real world. Way too many mainlander kids spend most of their time stuck in the fake world of social media or online gaming, anyway.’
‘Ugh. Don’t get me started on that. Can you imagine what living on an island with virtually no Wi-Fi is like? I have to wait until boarding school until I’m allowed a smartphone. Sharing the family PC is not the same.’
‘When do you start boarding school?’
‘Thirteen. Which means by the time I get there, I’ll already be just another island freak who doesn’t know anything about anything that actually matters to people my age. I’ll be stuck being friends with the same old equally clueless kids. So I’ll keep knowing nothing and being no one in a never-ending circle until my only option is to crawl back here and live on Hawkins Farm until I die.’
‘I know it might be hard to imagine, but I do understand. If anything, I’m jealous you get to go to boarding school. I got my first phone for my eighteenth birthday, and I might as well have lived on an island for all the places I never went to and things I didn’t know.’
‘It’s not hard to imagine at all. It’s why I’m talking to you, because it’s obvious you have the same problem.’
With that statement lingering between us, we bumped along the hedge in silence for another minute or two. At this rate, I was going to leave this island best friends with a twelve-year-old.
‘What are you hoping for, in your future?’ I asked, keen to think about something other than my social inadequacy.
‘If I could choose, then I’d be an intelligence officer to start with.’
‘Wow.’
‘Then, I’m thinking politics. Or a pathologist. Wouldn’t it be cool to figure out how people died?’
‘You’re not interested in working on the farm?’
She scoffed. ‘I might have to get interested. My aunties and uncle aren’t producing another heir any time soon.’
‘Are they all single?’
‘Auntie Iris is engaged to Hugh. He’s a vet. They wanted to get married in August, but Ma was supposed to be organising all the food and then the oops baby happened, so with having to get the B&B ready as well, they’ve postponed it.’
‘When is the baby due?’
‘October.’ She stopped her bike to point out a family of rabbits hopping amongst the grass. Really, it was worth stopping to simply breathe in the view. A rainbow of pink, blue and yellow wildflowers danced in the gentle breeze. I caught the faint whiff of bonfire smoke and cow manure mingling with the salt air. Beyond the edge of the field, the ribbon of Irish Sea was sparkling periwinkle. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get bored of taking in the breadth of the sky – clear, wild blue from one horizon to another: such a contrast to the forest back home.
‘Anyway.’ Flora pushed herself off again. ‘Auntie Violet is single because she loves Barnie, but he’s solid islander, and she wants to travel. And Uncle Pip should know if he loves Celine or not by now. The farm’s future is in jeopardy unless I step up.’
‘I’m starting to appreciate why you’re so invested in your family’s romantic lives. But what about Jack or Beanie? They might want to be farmers.’
‘Jack might dress like a cowboy, but he’s scared of cows. And the only animal Beanie’s interested in tunnels under the ground. Besides, would you entrust prize cattle to someone with a name like Beanie?’
We both burst out laughing until my front wheel started wobbling, threatening to topple me into the corn.
‘It is unusual.’
‘She’s supposed to be Rosemary, like my grammie.’
‘Are all the women in your family named after flowers?’
Flora nodded. ‘That’s an island thing.’
‘Is Beanie an island thing, too?’
‘No.’ Flora shrugged. ‘It just sort of found her one day, and stuck. Look, there’s my potential future prison, right there.’
We both stopped again as the path began to slope downwards, revealing a large stone farmhouse halfway to the sea.
To one side, a herd of cows clustered underneath a huge chestnut tree. Below that, a short distance from the farmhouse was a spacious yard containing a tractor and other machinery, various-sized outbuildings forming a border on three sides, and an enclosed field full of small trees that Flora told me was where the forty thousand chickens roamed free.
‘Come on,’ she called, accelerating ahead as she freewheeled down the slope. ‘I can smell the sausages from here!’
We propped the bikes up against the side of the house and I followed everyone through a wooden side-gate to a garden at the back, already regretting my decision to be brave and come along. When I saw the groups of people helping themselves to drinks from the long trestle tables, sitting in deckchairs or hovering near the enormous barbecue, the urge to flee only grew.
About two dozen heads swivelled towards us as Lily and Malcolm called hello, adult conversations fading into potent silence as the younger kids ran to play with two chocolate Labradors while Flora joined a couple of girls sprawled on a blanket.
‘Come on, let’s get the hard bit out of the way,’ Lily murmured, linking her arm with mine. ‘Stop them speculating.’
She led me over to the table, where two women with the same dark hair as Lily and her brother were sitting with glasses of wine and a giant bowl of crisps.
‘Iris, Violet, meet Emmie.’
‘Pasty Girl!’ Violet beamed, patting the bench beside her. She was more angular than her sisters, with short hair curling over high cheekbones that accentuated grey eyes. She wore white, baggy combat trousers and a red crop top that managed to look both comfortable and dressy. ‘Come and sit down, tell us everything. We’re dying to hear what antics our darling brother got up to on the mainland.’
At that point, a man appeared with a tray of drinks.
‘Ladies.’ He sat down beside Iris, kissing her on the top of her head before handing Lily a lemonade.
‘This lady has a name,’ Iris said, pointedly. ‘It’s Emmie, and she’s about to tell us all Pip’s wild student secrets.’
Iris’s wavy hair reached almost to the waist of her flowery smock dress. She had blue eyes, like Lily, and Flora’s sardonic smile.
‘Emmie, this is Hugh, who I’m hoping to marry at some point, despite him spending more time with animals than me these days.’
Hugh handed me a glass of wine, raising a thick, sandy eyebrow. ‘She’s pretending to sulk because I had to cancel a day of wedding preparations to save a mare and her unborn foal from dying.’ He gave his fiancée an unashamedly adoring glance. ‘She’s a farmer. We both know full well that if I’d chosen invitations and centrepieces over the horse, she’d have called off the engagement.’
Iris poked her tongue out at him.
‘Anyway,’ Violet said, ‘back to Emmie telling us about Pip before he comes to find her.’
‘Where is he?’ Lily said. ‘He’s meant to be the guest of honour.’
Violet screwed up her face. ‘Celine is showing him her “welcome home” present.’
‘What’s that – a tattoo of him riding Basil?’
‘Basil is our black bull,’ Violet told me.
‘A scrapbook,’ Iris said, wincing.
‘Of what?’ Hugh looked horrified. ‘Pictures from when they were going out?’
‘Pictures, ticket stubs. A dried flower from the bouquet he gave her. And not only from when they were going out. It starts with the programme from a school nativity.’
‘That’s even worse than a tattoo,’ Lily said.
‘I know.’ Iris sighed. ‘I tried to talk her out of it, suggested she got him a nice bottle of something, or a book. But she’s decided the best way to get him back is to show she means business.’
Violet eyed me over the rim of her wine glass. ‘Maybe she should have baked him something.’
As my face heated up in embarrassment, Pip and Celine emerged from the farmhouse’s French doors, causing a flurry of shouts and whistles. Pip had swapped his usual checked shirt for a plain olive-green one, his cargo trousers for faded jeans.
My heart leapt even as my stomach shrivelled at the sight of him with Celine.
She wore a tiny white dress with a floaty skirt and sandals. A portion of her wavy hair was twisted into a braid around the crown of her head. She could have walked straight off a photo shoot for a countryside magazine.
‘Celine giving you a proper island welcome home, was she?’ a younger man standing beside Barnie called.
Pip gave him a sharp stare, before breaking into a grin as Jack and Beanie dived at his legs, balancing on a foot each while he dragged them over to our table, the dogs prancing alongside them.
‘Sisters. Hugh.’ There was a microsecond-long pause when his eyes met mine. ‘Emmie. I’m glad you could make it.’
I tried a smile as the children detached themselves and he eased in beside me on the bench. ‘Well, I did have to cancel a few other things, but, you know. I heard the pot sausage was unmissable.’
‘I told her!’ Jack announced, before he and Beanie raced off again.
‘Here.’ Celine arrived, handing Pip a bottle of beer before squeezing in on his other side. I edged as close to Violet as I could, but his hip still rested against mine, the situation continuing to be lovely and awful at the same time.
Pip twisted around slightly to face me. ‘How have you enjoyed your first day on the island?’
‘It was really nice.’ Nice. Not exactly scintillating conversation, Emmie. I tried harder. ‘I had a haggling lesson from Lily at the farmers’ market this morning over pasty ingredients, then spent the afternoon exploring Port Cathan.’
‘You’re making pasties already?’ His eyes gleamed. I had to look away.
‘Hi, Emmie.’ Celine leant forwards to offer me a smile. ‘I presumed you wouldn’t be coming this evening, seeing as your trip has nothing to do with Pip. What changed your mind?’
‘Lily invited me,’ I mumbled.
‘Oh, my goodness,’ Celine continued, clearly uninterested in my answer. ‘Pip, you should have seen the pickle Emmie got into earlier. She only went and fell asleep on the beach, right by the shoreline when the tide was coming in. All her things washing out to sea and she didn’t even notice. The first she knew of it was when Pigeon helped himself to her panini.’
She burst into giggles, head gently bouncing on Pip’s shoulder.
‘Pigeon ate your lunch?’ Pip didn’t reply to Celine, but he didn’t move away, either.
‘I bought her a lobster roll, it’s all good.’
Lily, who’d been chatting to Iris, leant across the table to get her brother’s attention. ‘Hey, why don’t you introduce Emmie to Ma and Da?’
‘Ooh, yes,’ Iris added. ‘Mammaw makes it her personal business to vet every newcomer to a family occasion.’
‘Would you mind?’ Pip asked me.
Would I mind leaving the awkwardness of the Pip sandwich? I moved so quickly, I nearly knocked my glass over.
As we wandered over to the barbecue, Pip bent his head towards mine. ‘I hope Celine wasn’t rude. We used to go out, years ago, and she can get a bit protective.’
He wrinkled his brow when I didn’t answer. ‘Ah. She was rude. I’m sorry.’
‘She wasn’t rude, just… protective is probably the best word for it.’
‘Anyway.’ Pip straightened up as we approached a man who was clearly the source of the Hawkins siblings’ dark hair. ‘This is my da, Gabe. Da, this is Emmie.’
For a second, it looked as though Gabe was going to smile, say hello, do any of the normal things a person did when introduced to someone. But when he looked at me, he froze, his mouth hanging open as a blob of fat dripped off the barbecue tongs onto his trousers.
‘Da?’ Pip said, loudly, causing Gabe to jump.
‘I’m sorry,’ Gabe said, his voice hoarse. ‘You look very much like someone I used to know.’
‘Oh?’ Apprehension skittered up my spine. It was my turn to go still.
‘Yes.’ His eyes welled up, head shaking slightly as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. He waited for his son to be distracted by someone else coming over to say hello, then bent towards me so that no one else could hear. ‘Her name was Nellie Brown.’