Chapter 29
29
Ten minutes later, dress on, hair brushed and Blessing’s make-up lesson put into practice, having brought a few basics with me, I took a shaky breath and gingerly slipped out of the bathroom through the empty kitchen and outside.
I held out little hope that Pip would have identified the cake-wrecker. After my conversation with Richard, Celine was the only name on the list of people out to get me. There was no way she’d have owned up to ruining Iris’s wedding cake. But I did have faith in him steering any suspicion away from me.
‘Emmie!’
My heart sank as Iris called from the entrance to the barn. It was approaching five-thirty, and the air was warm and bright, with only the faintest hint of the evening crispness to come. Bolstered by her grin, I walked over, only to be yanked into a huge hug as soon as I reached arm’s length.
‘I’ve not had a chance to talk to you all day. You look lovely, by the way,’ she said, pressing her face against my cheek.
‘Well, you look stunning.’
‘I know! It’s probably not the done thing to admit it, but I scrubbed up okay, didn’t I?’ She laughed, finally letting me go. Her dress was what Blessing would call ‘boho’, a simple mermaid style but with flared sleeves and lots of soft lace. Her long hair was completely loose, and when she stepped away from me, I spotted white trainers.
‘Anyway, thank you for all your hard graft. The food was perfect. Everyone wants to know how we can persuade you to stay and open up a kiosk here.’ Her eyes danced as she nodded to the far side of the barn doors. ‘I did suggest that my brother might be the one to talk to about that.’
‘Oh?’ I was past being coy. If nothing happened with Pip this evening then it would make my decision about whether I got on a flight tomorrow that much harder. I didn’t have to base my decision on how he felt, but if he wasn’t interested in being more than friends then staying here would be torture. I’d risk becoming another Celine. Speaking of which, now the initial shock of the dress and the cake had worn off, I felt a spark of righteous Brown anger. Hating me was one thing, but taking it out on her friend’s cake and Aster’s dress was despicable. As soon as the wedding was over, I would tell Pip everything. He’d know best how to handle it.
‘Come off it, it’s clear as day he’s sweet on you. I can’t believe he’s not made a move yet.’ Iris put her hand on my arm. ‘Unless he has, and you turned him down.’ She gasped. ‘Oh, please tell me you didn’t. He’s a really decent guy. Soppy as anything too.’
As much as I’d been getting used to the islanders’ custom of spreading their thoughts out like a buffet, I had no idea how to answer that. To make things worse, Pip wandered through the barn entrance.
‘Hey.’ Seeing his smile felt like sinking into a warm bath. ‘You look… I mean… Wow.’
He shook his head, gripping his neck as his cheeks flushed.
Oh, boy. This man actually might like me.
‘Thank you.’
We stood there grinning dopily. If my brain had been able to process a coherent thought, it would have been imagining my life as a farmer’s wife – baking at the huge table, picking pears in the orchard, showing my children a newborn calf…
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, kiss her already!’ Iris cried. ‘She’s flying home tomorrow.’
Pip jerked back, his expression transforming into one of embarrassed shock.
‘Er…’ He glanced at his sister, then back at me. ‘I mean… is that? Do you…?’
‘Um, probably not here…’ I waved vaguely at the guests, at least half of whom were now gawking at us, thanks to Iris.
‘Yeah. Of course.’ Pip ducked his head, spotting the onlookers. ‘We could go for a walk or something?’
Before I could answer, a ripple went through the building. Like a domino run, everyone rapidly flipped towards the back of the barn.
‘Oops. Here we go!’ Iris muttered, clutching onto Hugh, who had suddenly appeared at her side. ‘Hey, move to the side, people, so the bride can see,’ she ordered.
As the crowd of people parted, it revealed Barnie, down on one knee by the music speakers.
‘Oh no,’ Pip groaned, quietly. ‘We told him not to do this.’
‘Don’t worry.’ Flora popped up next to him, a knowing smile on her face. ‘It’s not what you think.’
‘Violet,’ Barnie began, holding one hand aloft in a courtly gesture.
‘No, Barnie.’ Someone nudged Violet into the empty space in front of him. She clutched her hair with both hands. ‘I can’t believe you’d do this at my sister’s wedding.’
‘I’m doing it with your sister’s blessing,’ Barnie said, sounding a little peeved.
Violet scanned the room until she found Iris, raising both eyebrows at her in a what the hell? gesture.
‘It’s true,’ Iris said, cheerily. ‘Hear him out, sis. It’s a biggie.’
‘That’s what I’m afraid of,’ Violet ground out through a clenched jaw.
As if proving that this was indeed a biggie, Barnie whipped off his blue cap and held it to his chest.
‘Go on, Barnie-boy!’ someone called, prompting cheers of encouragement.
‘Violet, I love you.’
‘Yes, I already know that. I love you, too. But you know?—’
‘Please, let me finish,’ he said, firmly. ‘I love you, and I want to marry you. Whatever you might think, you mean far more to me than any doughnut stand. Than this island. I only love it here so much because it’s where you are. Without you, it’s nothing. Without you, I’m nothing.’
‘Yet all this still means nothing, because I’m leaving.’
‘Yes. I know. Which is why I bought you a wedding present.’
Violet took a step back, face screwed up in annoyance. ‘Have you bought me a wedding present, for our wedding, despite me making it abundantly clear that we are never going to be more than friends?’
‘Aye, well. That was before you saw the present.’
Barnie had put his cap back on and was now trying to wrestle something out of his trouser pocket, but what he eventually managed to extend towards Violet was not a ring, as we all expected, but an envelope.
‘Go on,’ he said, sounding like someone coaxing a skittish horse. ‘If you really do love me, the least you can do is open it.’
With no small amount of reluctance, Violet took the envelope, opening up the paper she found inside with an impatient huff. Gradually, as her eyes scanned the page, her body went still, her mouth falling slowly open.
‘This is a ticket to Australia.’
‘You said you always wanted to go.’
‘For two people?’
Barnie shrugged. ‘If we’re married, I think it’s only fair that I come on the honeymoon.’
‘You think a fancy holiday is the answer? Barnie, how can I even think about marrying you when you don’t listen?’
‘It’s a one-way ticket,’ Barnie blurted. ‘I’d have got more, to other places. I know you want to see Thailand, and Peru. Alaska. But I thought it would be more fun to plan that together.’
The barn was so quiet, we could have heard the bats snoring in the rafters.
‘You’re going to come travelling with me?’ Violet was gripping the tickets so hard, I feared the paper would rip. ‘What about the stall? The bike rental? You can’t just up and leave everything behind.’
Barnie stood, wrapping his hands around hers to steady their trembling.
‘I told you. You’re my everything.’ His voice was soft. ‘I mean, that’s if you want me to come. You did say you’d miss me more than anything.’
‘Of course I want you to come, you daft oaf.’
‘And you’ll marry me first?’
‘Give me your cap.’
Barnie looked confused, but he did what she’d asked.
‘There. Coming from you, that’s more of a commitment than a ring.’
‘Well, if I’d known it was that easy, I’d have saved my money for hotels,’ Barnie said, whipping a ring out of his jacket pocket, and holding it out to his fiancée. ‘Shall I take this back, get a refund?’
‘Don’t you dare.’
And then he pushed the ring onto her finger, she wrapped her hands around his neck and they were snogging in the middle of barn surrounded by cheers.
Pip gave me a wry glance, and then caught sight of his mother, squeezing through the crowd to get outside.
‘Ma.’ He moved across, catching her wrist as she reached the doorway and gently tugging her to a stop. ‘Hey, it’s okay.’
Rosemary’s face crumpled as she fell against her son’s shoulder. ‘She’s really going.’
‘We always knew she’d be going. At least this way, she won’t marry an Australian and end up settling thousands of miles away. You can trust her and Barnie to keep each other safe, and there’s twice the reason to keep coming home.’
She sighed. ‘I know she’s got to go. And I will be happy for her. But for now, let me weep a wee minute for my child who is leaving.’
‘Okay.’ Pip pressed a kiss against her hair and stepped back. ‘Only a minute, mind. This is Iris and Hugh’s day, and they’re stopping five miles down the road.’
If I hadn’t already fallen for this man, seeing the tenderness towards his mother would have done it. I had so much to learn about love and family, and the thought of discovering those things with Pip sent shivers through me.
The walk – and potential kiss – presumably forgotten, I grabbed a glass of wine and joined the other guests in toasting the new couple, waiting until the gaggle of well-wishers had thinned before moving over to offer my own congratulations.
‘Emmie,’ Barnie said, offering me a sweaty hug once Violet had turned to chat with Celine, who I’d done a great job of managing to avoid so far. ‘Precisely the woman I was hoping to see.’
‘Oh?’ A prickle of trepidation scampered up my spine. Had Celine done something else to make me appear incompetent? At least Pip was hovering nearby so he would hear it, if so.
‘How do you fancy relocating to a new airport?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Well, there couldn’t be a better person on the island to take on Barnie’s doughnuts and bike rental.’
‘Maybe one who lives here?’ Celine, rudely breaking off from her conversation, said with a tight smile.
‘Ah, sure, Pip said he was talking her into staying, now that she’s closed down the kiosk in Sherwood Forest. Isn’t that what the whole conversation in the doorway was about? That’s what inspired me to get on with my proposal.’
‘No. It wasn’t about that,’ Pip said, sounding strained.
‘Oh. Well. The offer still stands. Think about it and let me know, aye?’
Barnie turned aside, as someone else came to clap him on the shoulder and kiss Violet on the cheek. Pip glanced at Celine, whose narrowed eyes made my stomach clench like a concertina as I wrestled between fury and fear.
‘Excuse us, Celine,’ Pip said, politely. ‘Emmie and I were about to take a walk.’
‘I need a word, Pip, if you don’t mind.’
‘Maybe later?’ he replied, jaw tight.
‘I’d really like to talk to you first, before you go off with Emmie. Please. It’s important.’
The air in the barn had grown suffocating, making my head swim. It was all I could do not to flee, leaving Celine to spout whatever lies she’d concocted, but Pip was having none of it. He knew Celine better than most. I wondered if he, too, suspected she’d been the one to move the cake.
‘I said later.’
He placed a hand behind my elbow, catching my eyes to check whether I was happy to leave before carefully steering me through the clumps of people dancing and out of the oppressive atmosphere, into the glorious evening.
He waited while I closed my eyes and sucked in enough deep breaths of cool air to be certain I could walk without stumbling.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, once I’d opened my eyes. ‘I’m sorry if that looked like you were an excuse to escape Celine. I would have asked about a walk anyway, but if you’d rather not… You’ve had a long day.’
‘A walk sounds bliss,’ I said, straightening my shoulders. ‘It’s quite stuffy in there. I probably shouldn’t have drunk that last glass of wine before eating properly.’
‘You’ve not eaten?’
I wrinkled my forehead. ‘Only that earlier bite of pasty.’
‘Come on, then.’
I opted to wait outside the kitchen while he slipped through the door, appearing a moment later with two bottles and a paper bag.
We continued to the farmyard, the sounds of music and laughter growing muffled as we skirted around the muddier bits, and headed towards the orchard. Instead of passing through the gate, Pip turned to the side, stopping at the bottom of a huge beech tree.
Nestled in a giant fork where the trunk split into three was a wooden platform.
‘What do you reckon? Are you up for it?’
He gestured to the rickety wooden ladder with his chin. I slipped off my flip-flops and wobbled my way up.
‘I’ve never been in a treehouse before,’ I said as Pip inserted a thick slice of cheese into a bread roll he’d retrieved from the bag.
‘That’s a grand way to describe a few rickety boards and a railing.’
I accepted the rough sandwich and took a bite, instantly feeling better as I leant back against one of the giant branches.
‘Was it for playing in, or more serious farming purposes?’
‘If it had been for farming purposes, Da would never have let me get away with such shoddy craftmanship.’ He poked his foot at a wonky nail sticking out of a plank.
‘You built it yourself? How old were you?’ I shuffled up to allow him to sit alongside me.
‘About ten. Iris wanted to help, but I spent more time preventing her from falling off or hitting herself with the hammer than I did constructing the thing, so I mostly snuck out here on my own. Don’t worry,’ he added, spotting my nervous glance at the joints holding it in place. ‘Da checked it all afterwards. It’s held steady for nearly twenty years.’
We sat in silence as we ate, Pip opening two bottles of lemonade, a refreshing accompaniment to the early-evening balm. In front of us, we could see over the top of the farm buildings to the house, catching the odd glimpse of people milling around the Old Barn on the other side. Behind us, through a small chink in the branches, the sea shimmered.
‘A great place to spy on all the goings-on.’
‘If you mean watch out for Da or Richard coming to rope me into herding the cows to a new field, or spreading a heap of muck, then aye, it did the job.’
‘What did you do when you saw them coming?’
He laughed, glancing upwards. ‘Slipped up there like a squirrel. Or jumped down and hightailed it in the opposite direction.’ He paused. ‘Not all the time. Or even most of it. I was a typical kid, craving freedom and adventure, but I also wanted to learn as much as I could about how to take care of our land when my time came.’
‘Freedom and adventure?’ I pulled a wry face. ‘I should have built myself a treehouse. It’s not as if we were short of trees.’
‘Nell kept you busy?’
‘Once she’d collected me from school, there was always work to be done. Picking up food orders, prepping. She had me standing on a chair to chop vegetables when I was too small to reach the counter. Weekends and holidays were at the kiosk, lolling on a bench with a book or some colouring. By the time she’d have considered me old enough to roam free around the airport, I was working on the till and cleaning up.’
‘Didn’t you ever have fun?’
‘You’re suggesting that peeling bucketloads of parsnips isn’t fun?’
He smiled, turning to look at the view stretching out in front of us. It was only a week past the summer solstice, and nightfall was still a long way off.
‘I guess we all have our own definition of what’s enjoyable.’ His voice dropped, and my heart thumped, like a dog wagging its tail. ‘But I have been wondering how island life suits you.’
He was sitting side-on to me, with perhaps three inches between us, and I could feel the tension in his body mirroring the anticipation in mine. Slowly, his hand moved across the board and wrapped around my fingers. A flurry of sparks danced across my skin.
‘Island life suits me very well,’ I whispered, sounding oddly like a Jane Austen character.
‘You like it here?’
‘I love it here,’ I said, daring a peek in his direction. ‘I was thinking, if you didn’t mind, and it doesn’t make me seem like the disturbed stalker your family feared, of staying a bit longer.’
Pip jerked his head around to look at me. ‘Only a bit?’
‘Well. I haven’t got anywhere to stay once the B surely it wouldn’t be so bad that I couldn’t enjoy another few weeks here?
As Pip watched me, his face alight with hope and angst, I wanted more than anything to say yes, fling myself into his arms and have that kiss Iris had ordered. To pretend, for a few blissful moments, that it could all work out perfectly.
But then, inevitably, I pictured Gabe. How would he feel about me staying longer? Would he consider it an opportunity to talk about Mum, to bring both of us some closure? Or would he be angry that it risked someone finding out who I was?
Because how could I stay for any length of time and keep something like that a secret? Lily hadn’t forgotten that I was here to find out about the person in Mum’s letters. She was bound to ask me about it again. Let alone if Pip and I started a romantic relationship – how could I not tell him our parents were briefly married?
As these thoughts pressed in behind my skull, all I could do was grip onto Pip’s hands and make sure I didn’t move a single centimetre closer to him.
‘I would like to stay. But there’s a couple of things I need to sort out first.’
Pip gave a careful smile, sensing my hesitation. ‘Does that mean you, um, might like me? I asked you, when we were walking home from the beach the other night, but you never answered.’
‘Well, I jumped on a plane and followed you from the mainland, didn’t I?’
‘Emmie, I’m serious. I’ve been driven half mad the past few days, wondering.’ He gave a weak laugh. ‘The past couple of years, if I’m honest.’
I took a deliberate, slow breath. Gripped his hands even tighter, and did him the courtesy of looking straight in his eyes.
‘Yes. I like you. A lot. All that time I was your pasty girl, you were my hot farmer.’
He laughed properly then, one of shock. ‘You think I’m hot?’
‘Well, Blessing came up with the name. I… I think you’re lovely.’
It was Pip’s turn to dip his head, an embarrassed grin spreading across his face as he couldn’t resist dropping a hand to grip the back of his neck.
‘I think you’re lovelier,’ he mumbled, one side of his mouth quirking up.
We sat there, the silence between us charged as a sea storm. A gust of wind rustled the canopy of leaves, and somewhere in the orchard, a wood pigeon cooed.
‘We agreed not to have a holiday romance,’ he said, having to stop and clear his throat before carrying on. ‘I know everything is still up in the air, but, given that we’re both hoping you’ll stay… would it be out of order if I kissed you?’
If my cheeks had grown any hotter, they’d have started a wildfire. I gave the bravest nod I could manage, which turned out to be not brave enough, as Pip still eyed me, waiting.
Unable to trust my voice, I instead leant forwards until he realised what I was doing, and tipped his head to meet mine.
I hadn’t been sure about whether New Emmie would regret this, six days ago.
Now, what felt like half a lifetime later, I was certain that my only regret would be if I got on a plane without having kissed Pip Hawkins.
Our lips touched, and for a couple of seconds, we hovered there, in this moment between Before and After, the contact between us as gentle as the whisper of distant waves.
Then, with a rough sigh, Pip slid one hand around my back, pulling me closer, and as the pressure increased, our mouths fitting perfectly together, we tumbled into what I knew, with absolute certainty, was love.