Chapter 5 #2
“Don’t play with me right now, Kannon. Take these ropes off me so I can eat.”
“I’m going to feed you.”
“Seriously, Kannon. Untie me right now.”
“See if you can hold this tea. It’s hot now.”
I gave her the cup of hot tea, and I’ll be damned if her little feisty ass didn’t throw it in my face.
I guess I should have expected that. Thankfully, it wasn’t as hot after the walk home.
Still, it stung. I didn’t even bother to wipe the remnants of tea dripping from my face as I sat down on the bed beside her.
“Everything I’m doing is for your own good.
You know better than to think I would hurt you or put you in danger.
My job is to protect you. Maybe I was a little too soft on you when you were here before because I consider you a friend.
Don’t disrespect me like that again. Last time you were here, you were a guest. This time—”
“What? I’m a pest?”
“You’re a client. Clients are handled differently than guests.”
“I’m not just a client, Kannon, and you know it. Untie me now!” she shouted.
“You’re going to have to calm down, Carrie. I don’t need you losing your voice. Do you need me to make you some more tea?”
She just glared at me. I cut into the omelet and shoveled some onto the fork before pushing it toward her mouth. When she didn’t open, I lowered the fork back to the plate.
“Carteay, you have to eat so you can take something for your head.”
“I don’t want anything from you. I damn sure don’t want no fucking pills. I don’t even know how you got me here from the hospital. How long have I been here? Did you drug me?”
“Wow, I’m insulted. You know I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“Hmph, actually, I don’t know what you’re capable of.”
“Don’t play like that. You know a nigga ain’t trying to do nothing to you.
You were barely awake when they discharged you from the hospital, but they knew you were in good hands.
I brought you here and put you in bed. That was yesterday evening.
I tied you up because I didn’t want you to wake up and forget you didn’t need to walk.
If you move around, you need to let me help you. ”
“OK, well untie me. I’m awake now. This is crazy.”
“Is it? Am I crazy to think that you would hop up and disappear the first chance you got, no matter how much danger you’re in, because you refuse to listen to anybody that means you any good? They got you so brainwashed that you rather face their wrath than be saved from it.”
See, I wasn’t ready to have this conversation, but since she wanted to push me, we might as well get it out the way.
It crushed me that Carteay didn’t allow me to help her.
I should have pushed her more to let me help her.
I blamed myself for letting those monsters hurt her. There wouldn’t be a next time.
“What was I supposed to do, Kannon?”
“Trust me! Let me in so I could fucking help you,” I spat.
“I wasn’t about to drag you into my shit, Kannon.”
“What are you even saying, Carteay? Your shit is my shit! You are mine to protect,” I stressed.
I didn’t notice her eyes watering before the tears started to fall. It crushed me to see her like that, but my pain was valid. I wasn’t about to let her break me so easily.
“Eat or don’t eat, but I’m not untying you until your ankle heals.”
“Kannon,” she whined as I turned to walk out of the room. “Don’t leave me like this, Kannon. Come on. This is crazy.”
She wasn’t ready yet. Maybe when her three days were up, I would feel comfortable to release her. Right now, I needed to make her understand how things would go.
I smirked. “I’ma teach your ass about running away.”
“Kannon, I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
“You want to be a brat. I don’t have a problem with punishing you.”
“I’m not going to run, Kannon. Please just come lay with me. You don’t have to untie me. Just stay. We need to talk.”
“We needed to talk eight weeks ago. We’re past that. We were past that when you decided to take your ass, my heart, and my fucking pussy back to those fucking people without consulting with me, Carteay.”
“Kannon, I only left to protect you. I need you right now. You being angry with me isn’t going to help either of us.”
“You don’t have to worry about anything happening to you, but we don’t need to talk about anything.
We’ll always be friends, but I can’t let you in my head again, Carrie.
You’re not responsible enough to have access to my heart.
I can’t trust you. You can stop crying because I can’t worry about your feelings.
I’m worried about your life. I don’t see how you don’t get that. ”
“Just sit down and listen to what I have to say.”
“Are you ready to discuss why you took my pussy way the fuck to God knows where without so much as giving me a chance to taste it for the road? Do you know how that shit made me feel, Carteay? Do you know how much I missed that shit? Do you know how fucking furious that made me? To know that even though you fucking left me, I still yearned for you from the bottom of my soul? Do you know how that shit feels, Carteay? I’m asking you a direct question. ”
“No.”
“It feels like I’m consumed by constant fire, burning up from the inside out.
Like I want to run until I pass out. It feels like I’m having a heart attack, but no amount of medicine can heal me.
It’s only you. You’re the only thing that makes it better.
The minute I heard your voice, the headache that I’ve had for seventy days straight faded away.
Do you know how you destroyed me? Do you even care? ”
“Of course I care, Kannon.”
“So, you knew what kind of hold you had on me, and you still snuck out on me like a thief in the night. What should I do about that?”
“Kannon, I had to leave.”
“What the fuck do you think I should do about that, Carteay?” I repeated.
“Understand that I did what I thought was best.”
“For who?”
“For us!” she said, lifting her chin defiantly.
“Not for me.” I shook my head. “You should have trusted me, Carrie. You should have let me help you.”
“I didn’t want to bring you in on my mess, Kannon. You had already done enough for me.”
“There’s no such thing as enough. There’s no limit or set amount to what I would do for you, Carteay. I love you, baby. I care about what happens to you.”
“I love you too,” she whispered. “That’s why I can’t do this to you.”
“You’re not doing anything to me. I’m doing something for you.”
“What if something happens to you, Kannon?”
“Then so be it.”
“I’m not letting you get hurt. Promise me you won’t do anything that will get you killed.”
“I’m not making a promise I can’t keep. I promise I will get you out of these people’s clutches, Carteay. Don’t worry about me,” I advised her.
“What do you mean, don’t worry about you, Kannon? You’re the only thing I worry about. You’re the only one I can depend on. If you want to do something for me, then stay here, be here. I need you in my life.”
“We’re not focusing on fleeting feelings right now, Carteay. There is nothing for us to discuss outside of straightening out those contracts and setting you free.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I love you, and I worry about you more than anyone else in my life. That doesn't mean I’m crazy enough to think we can be together. You’re always going to choose yourself. I’m cool with that, but I’m not getting sucked back in. I’ll protect you with my life, but that’s all I got.”
“Kannon, come on.”
“I need your contract and everything legal that you’ve had to sign so I can get my people on it. I’m going to get you out of that fucking contract. In the meantime, you’re staying here with me,” I said, finally opening the door.
“OK. Now can you untie me?”
“Doctor said three days, Ms. Hoyt.”