Chapter 14
Truth Bombs
Harley
“So you’re telling me that you’re fake-dating one of your friends and the man you have feelings for rather than pursuing something real with him?
” My therapist, Violet, asks. Her eyes are boring into my soul, and when she puts it that way, it sounds ridiculous.
Who am I kidding? It is ridiculous. I could very easily walk up to Collins and say, “Hey, I’ve been into you this whole time and want to pursue this, but like…
Real.” I’m sure he would love to hear those words from me, I don’t miss the way he looks at me across the room, the way he touches me whenever he can, or the way he made sure I was okay even before we started this endeavor.
“Uh, yep.” I wring my hands together in my lap, knowing she’s about to lay some serious truth bombs on me. That’s the kind of therapist Violet is and the kind I need. I tried them on like underwear until I found her.
“Harley.” Violet waits for me to tell her exactly what I know she’s about to say.
“Yes?” I give her my cheesiest smile.
“You know what I’m about to say. And I know you know because you sit in this chair at your office telling people similar things.”
“Ugh, I know okay?” I throw myself back on her green, velvet couch dramatically. “If I can fake date him, then I should real date him if my feelings are real. But I’m scared, what if he turns out to be like Benji?”
“Has he ever threatened you? Laid his hands on you? Does he make you feel bad for not spending time with him?” Violet was by my side as I navigated my relationship with Benji and knows how Collins was the whole time.
“No, I feel the safest when I’m with Collins.
He gives me space, he doesn’t force me to do things or keep me locked away.
He literally wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’ve seen him rescue a spider from his cat.
” I chuckle as I remember him locking Precious in the bathroom as he ushered a spider into a jar with a piece of paper, setting it free in the bushes out front of his house.
“Hmm…” She hums decisively, “We have ten minutes and you have homework.”
“Lay it on me.”
“The next time you’re with him, you’re going to treat it like it’s real. Give him the real feelings and the real actions. No pretending.”
“Easy enough,” I say like I haven’t been doing that this whole time.
“You’ll report back to me, right?” She eyes me over her pointed glasses.
“If I must.” I sigh dramatically, and we laugh.
“See you next week, Harley.”
“Thanks, Violet.”
“Good morning!” I sing as I step into our living room.
“Why are you so happy?” Sin bemoans.
“It’s New Years Eve and I get to spend it with my favorite people!
” I smile at her cheerfully. I’m happy that I get to spend it with my friends.
Last year I sat in Benji’s room while he got drunk in the living room with his friends until he decided he wanted my attention.
Attention that could be compared to a two-pump chump.
I bet Collins isn’t like that, I bet he takes care of his woman. I’m hoping to find out tonight.
“I suppose that is worthy of being happy.”
“Okay, you and I need to chat, ma’am.” I flop down next to her on the couch.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” She shrugs me off.
“Oh no. Nope. Not happening. You need to fess up.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she deflects again.
“Dominic Montez had his hands all over you. I saw it with my own eyeballs. Which, if I recall, you’ve said you would rather die than let happen. Ever.” I press her further.
“Let’s blame it on loneliness and a lapse of judgment.”
“Sinclair Mae!”
“Bitch, you did not just middle name me!” She shrieks.
“Oh, I did! You’re lying to me, that is like so against best friend code,” I whine.
“Harley, please don’t push this.”
“I heard you tell him it wasn’t going to happen again. What isn’t going to happen again?” I try again.
“Sex.”
“SEX!” I scream.
“Jesus Harls! Tell the whole neighborhood why don’t ya?”
“Sorry,” I smile at her meekly.
“It happened one time forever ago, and it’s not going to happen again.” Sinclair asserts.
“If you say so. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I swore him to secrecy and told him I would chop his balls off if he ever told anyone. So I kept it to myself, pretended it didn’t happen.” My best friend smiles sweetly.
“May I have permission to ask one question?”
“One and that’s it.” She narrows her eyes at me.
“Was it at least good?”
“Very.” She blushes and we break out into giggles before she decides she wants to nap before tonight.
“You almost ready?” Sin asks later that day, looking down at her phone, sitting propped against my headboard in a deceivingly short black pleather skirt with black tights underneath.
Her top is mesh, and you can see her black bra underneath it.
Black combat boots sit on the floor, ready to adorn her feet.
“How do I look?” I twirl for her after securing my locket around my neck.
I wasn’t kidding when I told Collins I wanted to dress up for New Years Eve.
I’ve chosen a red, sparkly dress with a drooping neckline showing just enough cleavage.
It sits right above mid-thigh and has a small slit on the right leg.
I’ve let my curled hair fall around my shoulders, but have a hair tie in my overnight bag for later.
“Holy fuck, you are hot as hell!”
“Thank you.” I give her a small curtsy because bowing will show my ass but I’m not uncomfortable in this outfit. I can’t wait to see Collins’ face when he sees me. He asked if he could see it beforehand, but I told him he’d like the surprise better.
“What shoes?” I ask, holding up a pair of black stilettos and a pair of sparkling heels that match my dress.
“The red. Everyone is going to simply pass away when they see you tonight.”
“I could say the same for you!” I throw back as I clasp my shoes around my feet.
“Let’s go celebrate the new year, Baby!” Sin grabs my hand and drags me out of the apartment and down to where she’s apparently had an Uber waiting for us.
The ride to Collins’ place is quick, as we approach the front door, my body begins to heat with nervousness as I recall my homework from therapy.
I run my hands down my dress and take a deep breath before knocking twice and then turning back to my best friend.
“You okay?” Sin asks.
“Yep, just nervous for his reaction.” I fib.
“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem, turn around.” Her feline smile spreads before she passes me and enters the home.
I follow her lead to be met with Collins’ hungry gaze, he’s not even trying to hide it and a smirk tilts his full lips when I squirm.
“You are incredible.”
“Thank you.” I don’t let my eyes leave his as I speak. I find myself taking him in as well, black dress pants and one of those God-forsaken white button-ups rolled up to his elbow. His orange curls are messily styled atop his head. “You look pretty hot yourself.”
Collins doesn’t say anything, instead pulling my body to his and gently kissing my lips.
“Ready for a drink?” He asks as he guides me toward the kitchen.
“Maybe just one.” I don’t mention that I want to be clearheaded for later, that if anything happens between us, I want to remember every detail.
“One drink it is then. Wine or mixed?” He asks before everyone notices my arrival.
“Mixed. Vodka soda with lime.” I smile at him just before Enid notices me and starts squealing about what a stunner I am.
It’s edging closer to midnight, about twenty-five minutes to go. The kids are asleep and we’re all lounging in the living area, sparkling cider, beer, and wine in hand, waiting for midnight to strike.
“Does anyone have any resolutions?” Kodi asks.
“Continue my healing journey.” I’m the first to speak up, “with the help of you guys, therapy, and Collins.”
Collins squeezes my thigh in appreciation from beside me.
“Get these two moved into my place,” Conrad smirks toward Enid and Mace, who’s not even paying attention to the conversation.
“Is it a resolution if it’s already planned?” She elbows him in the side playfully.
“Wait, really?” Darcy asks excitedly.
“Yep, Enid and Mace are coming to live with me once their lease is up.” Conrad smiles proudly.
It took him a long time to get to this point.
The point where he felt like his life was worth living, and that he had a support system that wanted him around.
I wasn’t sure how he would assimilate into our group, but these three have quickly become some of my favorite people.
“That’s fantastic news! You know we’ve got all hands on deck when the time comes.” Maverick claps a hand down on Conrad’s shoulder.
“Thanks y’all.” Conrad addresses the room.
“Five minutes left. I’m leaving before it gets too kissy in here.” Mace groans, standing from the couch and walking toward the glass doors. As he slides the door closed, he adds, “Happy New Year.”
“Come here.” Collins stands, pulling me up with him and guiding me toward the entryway of the living room.
“Can’t kiss me with everyone else around?” I ask as he puts my back against the wall just outside of the living room, giving an illusion of privacy that doesn’t exist.
“Not the way I want to.” He inches closer to me, letting one hand find my waist and the other inch up my arm until it’s behind my neck. Gently rubbing circles on my pulse point with his thumb.