Chapter 18
I Said Sit
Harley
Today’s the day. I promised Violet. I promised the girls. Most importantly, I promised myself that I would tell Collins how I feel about him when he gets home. That I would admit the not-so-fake feelings I have and would give myself over to him completely.
Now I pace back and forth in Collins’ living room, Precious winding between my feet as I go. In the famous words of Eminem, “palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy” and something about his Mom’s spaghetti.
I’ve prepped myself for this moment, making Sin listen to me drone on about what I would say to him.
Unfortunately, the moment that Collins’ front door clicks open I lose every thought that I prepared.
Then, when his giant, green orbs lock onto me, a soft smile gracing his face as he takes me in from head to toe, I realize I’m going to have to wing it.
I do the same, my gaze becoming stuck on the shape of his cock through his gray sweats that hang off his hips.
“Hey, Peppermint.” His voice pulls me from the place I was stuck, and I feel my cheeks heat. Collins’s smile grows as he speaks, closing the door, toeing off his sneakers, dropping his bags, and opening his arms for me.
“Hi, Collins,” I say softly before jumping into his arms.
“I missed you.” He murmurs into my hair.
“I missed you, too. Can we talk?” I ask, and his smile falls a bit as he puts me down. Rather than saying anything else, I grab his hand and lead him to the couch, where Precious makes herself comfortable in his lap.
“I actually wanted to talk to you, too.”
“Oh.” My eyes drop, the confidence immediately dissipating, and the anxiety that he’s ready to end things between us increases.
“Hey, look at me.” Collins encourages. “I promise it’s nothing bad or at least I don’t think it is.”
“Okay, go on.” I let my eyes come back up to his.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about us. I’ve been thinking about that first time I saw you walking into the club that night with your wild curls around your face.
Like this one.” He gently pulls at one hanging out of my bun, causing me to chuckle.
“How on that night I told myself I would wait until you were willing to give me a chance, and I’d scoop it up.
That I’d wait while you figured out whatever was happening with Benji.
So when you came to me that day and asked me to be yours, even if it was supposed to be a ruse, I made another vow to myself.
That now that I had you, I wouldn’t let you go. ”
My heart stutters in my chest, I can’t get the words out, but I know that I can’t leave him hanging. Everything he just admitted to me is exactly what I wanted to hear. It takes me a moment to gather the thoughts running amok through my head before I can respond.
“I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to hear you say, but when you said it out loud.
I realized it’s exactly what I needed to hear you say.
It gives me the courage to tell you that you’re everything I’ve needed and wanted in a man.
You’ve given me a sense of peace, comfort, and home that I haven’t had in a relationship, and I don’t want to let that go Collins.
I know we said just the holidays, but I want more than that.
More of us.” I spit out, everything spills out easier than I thought it might.
Rather than responding, Collins gently nudges Precious off his lap, pulling me into the now vacant spot. My legs find their place on the outside of his thighs while his hands rest gently on my hips. I let mine wrap around his neck, resting my forehead on his.
“Am I dreaming, or did you just say that you want to be mine?” His lips tilt into a grin.
“You’re not dreaming, and I do want to be yours.” I laugh lightly.
“I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”
“Please do.”
Collins moves one hand to the back of my head, pulling my lips to his. Our lips meet gently, but his cock jumps between my legs, causing me to gasp as it turns more heated.
“Can I take you to my room?” he asks between kisses.
“You better,” I demand as he stands from the couch and walks us to his room.
Kicking the door open, Collins walks us to his bed, making himself comfortable against the headboard as he continues kissing me, our need increasing the longer this goes on.
I find myself grinding down into his lap while his hands roam over my body, ridding me of my clothes until the only thing between us is his sweats.
I reach for his waistband, but he traps my wrist, “One second.”
He doesn’t say anything, instead lifting me gently off his lap and positioning himself to lie flat on his back, “Now I’m ready.”
“For what?” I ask in confusion.
“For you to sit that sweet cunt on my face. I’ve missed your taste.”
“I… Uh, I don’t know about that…”
“I’m not asking, Harls. Come over here and sit.” He pauses, letting his hand run up and down my thigh, almost to the place I want him most, slowly causing a shiver to run through my body before adding, “Okay fine,please.”
I lift myself to my knees and swing a leg over his head before gently hovering over his face.
“I said sit.” Collins bands his arms around my thighs and pulls me down, my pussy connecting with his waiting tongue.
He guides my movements over his face, devouring me.
I’m helpless to do anything but moan and grab the headboard to keep from folding over.
My hips grinding down onto his tongue as pleasure continues to wrack my body, but I need more.
My hand moves to my breasts, rolling my nipples in time with my hips, and my head falling back in ecstasy.
When Collins removes one of his hands from my thigh and groans begin to reverberate between my legs, I crane my neck around to see him stroking his cock, which causes a rush of wetness to leave my body.
“Fuck Collins, I’m getting close.” My spine begins to stiffen, my thighs clasp around his head, and my heart races as I continue to ride his face.
When one long groan leaves Collins’ throat, I let go, screaming his name, swiveling my hips until I’m fully sated before lifting myself and seeing Collins’ face is completely soaked. Heat floods my cheeks, knowing that I caused this.
“Yep, definitely can’t let you go now.” He chuckles swiping his forearm across his lips before pulling my lips to his in a gentle kiss. “Let’s get cleaned up.”
After showering, Collins and I lay together talking, and by the time I fall asleep my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. I don’t know how I got so lucky with him, but I’m not going to take it for granted.
“Let’s get right into it, then shall we.” Violet says as we settle into her office for our first session since she gave me the assignment of treating my time with Collins like it was real.
Over the next twenty minutes, I recount all of the events since New Years, leaving out the sexual parts because it’s not necessary for her to know the nitty gritty details.
“It’s a big step to be honest first and foremost to yourself, but also the people around you.
So you should be proud of yourself for that.
” Violet ignores the rest of what I’ve said for now.
We are, of course, here for me and while my relationship is important, my growth is the first thing we should talk about—I can appreciate that.
“I am. I thought it was going to be a lot harder than it was but when he all but handed me his truth over on a silver platter, I found it was much easier to do the same. I hesitated only for a moment because I truly wasn’t expecting him to come home from his trip ready to do the same thing that I was. ”
“How are you feeling about moving forward with Collins?”
“I’m ready. I know that he won’t hurt me, I know that he wants me just as much as I want to be with him, and I don’t want to let us go.
I have to admit there’s still a lingering fear that maybe we won’t work out or that Benji is going to show up and ruin everything—which is illogical because I haven’t heard from him in months. ”
“Given all that you experienced with Benji, it’s reasonable that you may be experiencing some fear, but you must continue to separate those two relationships and focus on the fact that, and correct me if I’m wrong here—Benji and Collins are two completely different people.”
“That’s one hundred percent correct, they are two different people. I know that I need to separate the two, and I am trying.”
“Trying is just as important as doing. Plus, that’s what I’m here for, to help navigate this among other things.” She checks the small clock on her desk before adding, “Time’s about up. Keep up the good work, and I’ll see ya in a few weeks. Call me if anything changes.”
“Thanks, Violet. See you!” I collect my belongings, and she walks me out of her office with a smile.