Chapter 22 #2
In another time and place, I might've been annoyed, but not now. I wanted to get the hell out of there. Within minutes, we stepped off the elevator into the parking garage. When we reached the car, I stopped and stared at Dallas. My emotions were a storm inside. Reeling from the reverberation of seeing Matthew, his betrayal fresh in my mind, the way I savored Dallas’ protectiveness of me, how deep my feelings for him ran inside, and the confusion over what to do about any of it had pushed me to my limits inside.
“What am I to you?” I asked abruptly, the question tumbling out.
Dallas had been about to reach for the passenger door and let me in because he was that kind of guy. He spun back to look at me, his eyes narrowing.
“What do you mean?”
“Just that. We haven't seen each other in years. You act like nothing’s been happening, but what is this to you? You said we couldn’t have anything other than sex. Yet, here you are, helping me move and basically making sure I end things with Matthew. I don't get any of this. Why do you even care?”
For a millisecond, something flashed in his eyes, but he shuttered it quickly.
I didn't know why I was pushing, but I was unsettled and on edge. My voice was raised, echoing in the parking garage. Dallas simply stared at me. His hand dropped from the door handle, and he turned to face me, leaning a hand against the top of his SUV.
“Audrey, maybe we haven't seen each other in years, but you’re Thea’s best friend. Obviously, if you needed help, I would help. I wasn't trying to force you to move away from Matthew. I thought that's what you wanted,” he said, his tone measured.
I hated that he sounded so reasonable. I also hated that he didn’t even bother to address my question.
He kept to the surface. I didn't know what I was pushing for.
Something about seeing Matthew had set this off inside of me.
Matthew reminded me of all the signs I'd missed before with him.
I'd ended up wasting a lot of time, and now here I was having crazy, hot sex with Dallas and wondering what I meant to him. I gave myself a shake.
“Never mind,” I said abruptly. “Let's just go.”
For a moment, I thought he was going to argue the point. Part of me wanted him to. I might’ve known then if I meant more than I thought. But he didn't. When the silence began to stretch, he shook his head.
“Fine. Let's go.”
The ride home was quiet. Dallas took a few phone calls, all of which were cryptic.
He was always careful to keep his responses circumscribed.
I had enough sense to know he needed to keep his work private, but it reminded me how unavailable he was to me, or anyone.
No matter how much I wanted him for myself, I felt sad that he’d walled himself into this life where work was all he allowed himself. He was a good man with a good heart.
Thea thought everything that went down with their father had affected Dallas more than the rest of them because of his role in it.
It’s not that he’d been responsible for his father going to jail, but he’d been the investigator who stumbled across his father’s financial crimes.
I'd been just as shocked as everyone. Their family and mine had been close.
I spent many a summer night at their house.
Their mother had been an amazing cook, and she used to make heart-shaped chocolate chip pancakes for all of us in the mornings.
After she died and then their father ended up in jail, they scattered.
I knew they stayed in touch, but it wasn't the same. They weren’t the family I had known once upon a time.
I couldn't help but wonder how deeply it had changed Dallas. I would've guessed his work would've been important to him before. I knew how hard he’d worked to get to that level in his career, but I'd never have guessed he would be committed to being alone.
Hours later, he pulled into the driveway, the snow crunching under the tires as we rolled to a stop in front of the house.
He quickly carried our bags inside. Sherry had agreed to drop Molly off this evening, so when we came in, she scurried over to us, greeting us with wiggles and kisses.
I loved how quickly she’d gotten attached, but then that's why I loved dogs.
Dallas set his bag on the floor and knelt down to greet her.
My heart clenched. It felt silly, but it meant so much that he loved dogs the way I did.
That should've been my deal breaker with Matthew.
Perhaps it would've been had I been living anywhere other than New York City at the time.
I hadn't had a life where I could have a dog, so I didn't think about it much.
When Dallas straightened, he caught my eyes. He looked weary, and my heart squeezed again.
“Do you want me to unload everything now?” he asked.
I knew if I said yes, he would. He was that kind of man. I wasn’t going to ask it of him. Not now.
I shook my head. “No need tonight. I’ll figure out the rest over the next few days. It's not like I have to hurry.”
We kicked our boots off. I snagged his jacket to hang up when it slipped from his hands to the floor. He glanced to me.
“Something hot to drink?” he asked.
“That would be nice.”
“What's your job, the drinks or the fire?” he returned with a small smile.
The moment felt suddenly intimate. This was the kind of thing a couple did after a long drive. I nudged my chin in the direction of the kitchen. “I'll take care of the hot drinks, you start the fire. Do you want coffee, hot cocoa, or hot cider with a kick?”
“Hot cider.”
I nodded and headed for the kitchen. Hard cider was a favorite in New England.
With apple orchards spread across the region, autumn was a lovely time.
Locals picked fresh apples and made cider to last through the winter.
You could purchase fresh local hard cider at most local grocery stores.
I’d picked up some from a local brewing company the other day.
I fetched it out of the pantry and heated it on the stove.
When I walked into the living room, I found Dallas seated on the couch with Molly asleep beside him, her head resting on his knee.
He was leaning back with his eyes closed.
For a moment, I wondered if he was asleep.
He lifted his head when I reached the couch, his eyes opening and his dark blue gaze colliding with mine.
He straightened and reached for the mug of cider.
I sat down on the other side of Molly, resting my hand on her hip as I took a few sips.
The fire was flickering in the fireplace, its flames just starting to warm the room.
I woke hours later, held against Dallas’ chest as he carried me up the stairs.
“I fell asleep?” I asked in a mumble.
Dallas chuckled softly. “We both did. I woke up when Molly whined to be let out. She's already back upstairs on the bed.”
It felt so good to be held by him. He carried me into the bedroom.
I stumbled out of my clothes and crawled into bed.
It never even occurred to me to wonder whether he would be sleeping with me.
He curled up behind me, pulling the covers around us, his palm warm on my belly under the cool sheets.
I drifted back into sleep, feeling cozy and protected in his embrace.