Chapter 27
Chapter Twenty-Seven
SASHA
One month later
“What?!” I sputtered.
Melanie cast me a sly grin. “I’m just saying it is plain as day that man is in love with you.”
“How do you know?” I pressed while my heart swooned hopefully.
I took a sip of my tea as Melanie gave me a warm look. “Dear, that man is there almost every night now. Technically, he’s practically living there. He’s embraced Quinn as if she’s his own daughter, and she adores him. She’s like a little sponge when he’s around.”
I felt a twinge in my heart. Not because I didn’t want Quinn to soak up Noah’s affection like a sponge.
I did, and it gave me so much joy that she was actually managing this adjustment.
She still got cranky and snapped at me here and there, but it was regular teenage stuff.
What stung a little in my heart was the awareness that, until now, she’d never had a father figure.
I felt as if I’d somehow let her down. Even if I could talk myself out of that premise, it didn’t change the fact my heart wanted to be able to give my daughter everything.
That included waving a magic wand and re-creating her childhood so she had a father there the entire time.
One thing that became painfully clear when you were a parent was just how much love could hurt on occasion.
I set my tea down and rested my chin in my palm. “I know she does. He’s very good with her.”
Melanie, because she was crazy perceptive and knew me well, cocked her head to the side. “Are you wishing you’d somehow been able to create a father out of whole cloth for her?”
I rolled my eyes. “Maybe,” I said, realizing how ridiculous it was, even if it was the truth.
“You’re an amazing mother, and Quinn reflects that. You can’t change the fact her biological father wasn’t willing to step up.”
“I know. Speaking of her biological father, Quinn did actually have a phone call with him. I still don’t know how I feel about it.
Honestly, we got so close to her being all grown up that I was kind of hoping I could just listen to her struggle to make her own decision if he ever reached out.
Now, I feel like I need to manage it somehow. ”
“Hon,” Melanie clucked. “Even if she was an adult, you would feel like you need to manage it. Trust me, I have two children, both of whom have been adults for many years, and both of whom I still worry about all the time. That’s something most people don’t fess up to.
The worry doesn’t end when they grow up. ” She cast me a rueful smile.
“I know. Funny thing, though. She wanted Noah there when she called her father.”
“Did she say why?”
“She said that if anything weird happened, she’d have him right there. She does kind of love that Noah’s an FBI agent. I don’t think her father is a threat, although, apparently, he does have a bit of a gambling problem. Why do you think she wanted Noah there?”
“I think you’re right, but also, he won’t have the kind of reaction you might if it didn’t go well.
Obviously, he cares about her. I don’t mean to imply he doesn’t.
But you’ve been with her since before she was born.
This is just way more for you emotionally as it is for her.
Sometimes when something is really loaded, it’s nice to have someone who is less deeply entwined in the issue there. If that makes any sense.”
“That’s pretty much what Noah thought,” I said to her.
Her eyes twinkled. “I did tell you he was a smart man.”
I laughed and took another sip of tea. “You did. It still feels like it’s happening really fast.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Look, I’m sure you can find some kind of self-help, or perhaps some research, telling you the right pace for a relationship.
Anecdotally speaking, I don’t think that’s the question for you to answer.
I’ve known people who took things slowly and divorced within a year of getting married.
I’ve known people who took things slowly and were miserable the whole time and got married anyway and stayed married and miserable.
On the other hand, I’ve known people who did things on a lark, and it worked out great.
Life throws so many variables at us all the time.
Add in another person, and there’s another variable to deal with.
” She paused, her eyes measuring me. “I’d suggest that perhaps you keep pointing out it seems like it’s going fast because that gives you something as an excuse and something to hang your fear on. ”
“I’m not afraid,” I sputtered.
My old friend pursed her lips as she eyed me steadily.
“Oh, okay, fine. Maybe I am a little afraid. It’s just it would break Quinn’s heart if it didn’t work out now.”
“Quinn is very resilient,” Melanie replied smoothly. “I don’t think Noah is going to do anything reckless or stupid.”
“Well, maybe he’s being reckless by getting involved with me so quickly.”
A low laugh rustled in Melanie’s throat. “Perhaps, but I don’t think so.”
There was a light knock on Melanie’s door, and we both glanced over to see it swinging open. Quinn poked her head around the door. “Mom, can I make some popcorn?”
I glanced at my watch and back at her. “Sure, but it’s an hour before bedtime.”
“I know.” She blew a kiss to Melanie and then disappeared, calling, “Thanks, Mom!” just as the door closed behind her.
“I should get back to our place. Always good to visit,” I said as I stood from the table.
I crossed over to the sink to rinse my mug and set it in the dishwasher. That was the kind of neighbors we were with Melanie. She would do the same in our place. She followed me to the door. “I’ll miss having you as a neighbor.”
“What?” I had just started to turn the doorknob, and my hand froze as I looked back toward her.
She winked. “I hope you’ll actually move in with Noah at some point. And Lord knows, you deserve some more space.”
My chest pinched with worry. “What will—?” I began.
Melanie shook her head. “Don’t you dare use some sort of flimsy excuse that you need to stay my neighbor to prevent you from moving forward with Noah.
Yes, you and Quinn have been my neighbors for over a decade, and I consider you family.
You’re not going to lose me. I’ll finally be able to raise the rent.
There, that’ll give you a reason to go.”
“Melanie, you can raise the rent. I can afford it.”
“I’m teasing, plus it’s my call.” She pulled me into a quick hug and then pretty much shoved me out the door.
As I crossed the hall, my eyes were drawn down to the front entrance when I heard the door opening. The second I saw Noah coming in, my heart let out a cheer. Seeing him made my entire body smile if that was possible.
I waited, my hand resting on the smooth railing on top of the stairs. As soon as he saw me, he pocketed his keys and came up the stairs two at a time. He stopped in front of me, and I was breathless merely at his presence.
I smiled up at him. “Hey. I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”
“I texted over an hour ago, but you didn’t reply, so I got worried.”
A little thrill ran through me. It was silly, but it was nice to have somebody worry about me. “I left my phone in my apartment. I was having tea with Melanie,” I explained.
He stepped closer, sliding an arm around my waist as he pressed a kiss to my temple and then my mouth. The moment his lips brushed over mine, our kiss went from a brief greeting to deep and searching. Only Noah could do that to me. Undiluted pleasure raced through me, and I moaned in his mouth.
The sound of the door opening behind us nudged my awareness. Noah lifted his head, and I was breathless.
“Hi, Noah,” Melanie said in a deceptively level voice. “Just checking my mail,” she added as she walked down the stairs in her robe.
“Hey there, Melanie,” Noah called. “Always good to see you.”
“Likewise!” she returned.
I bit my lip to keep from giggling as he stepped away, his hand sliding down my back and coaxing me forward. A moment later, we were in my apartment, and I finally let my laughter loose as I leaned against the door.
“What’s so funny?” Quinn asked when she glanced over at us from the kitchen.
My cheeks got even hotter. Noah’s smile was bland as he glanced over and shrugged out of his jacket. “Is that popcorn I smell?” he asked, deftly ignoring her question.
Quinn nodded. “Want some?”
“Maybe. Is it the kettle kind?”
He finished taking off his shoes and walked into the kitchen as I trailed behind him a little more slowly, thinking that we had more than enough chaperones around between my daughter and our elderly neighbor.
“Of course,” Quinn replied. They had already established that they shared the same preference for popcorn.
“Should we make a second one?” Noah asked solemnly as he rested his shoulder on the inside of the archway between the living room and kitchen.
Quinn shook her head. “Don’t think so. I don’t want the whole bag. Are you going to want some, Mom?” Her eyes bounced to mine.
I felt stuck where I was, absorbing their easy interaction and realizing that maybe this moment felt mundane but also huge.
Nothing was remarkable about it. Just my teenage daughter sharing popcorn with my boyfriend, the very first boyfriend I’d ever officially had since high school.
It felt like a family, and there was a peculiar ache in my heart, a desire so fierce I was almost afraid to let myself actually want it.
“Mom?” Quinn prompted.
Giving my head a little shake, I replied, “No. Do you want to watch something together?”
I guessed Quinn was going to turn us down, but lately, she’d surprised me. “Can we watch that nature show, the one where they travel all over?” she prompted.
I nodded. Noah was crossing through the kitchen to open the refrigerator—because, yeah, we were at that stage.
I turned away to turn on the television, swallowing through the emotion thickening in my throat.
These were good tears, but I wasn’t in the mood to cry in front of Noah and Quinn because then I’d have to explain.
A few minutes later, the three of us and Matilda were on the couch. Matilda was happily curled up beside Quinn. She liked to stretch out between Quinn and the end of the couch, pressing her nose into the cushions.
Noah’s arm was curled around my shoulders, and a bowl of popcorn sat on the couch between him and Quinn. Everything felt just right, comfortable. I was almost afraid to think this could be more than this. Because what if that broke the spell?