Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
SASHA
A light knock sounded on the apartment door before it opened. Glancing over, I smiled when I saw Melanie peering inside. “Hey there, come on in.” I gestured for her to step into the living room. I was in the kitchen emptying the dishwasher.
I’d had a long few days at work because my boss was dealing with a complicated case. We’d been preparing reams of documents for the court hearing.
“I would, but I’m headed out to my daughter’s house for dinner,” Melanie replied. “Someone’s downstairs for you with a delivery.”
“Oh?”
Melanie’s eyes twinkled with her smile. “Yes.”
I put away the two plates I had just set on the counter and turned. I followed her out of my apartment and closed the door before jogging downstairs. “Enjoy dinner,” I called as she walked out the door and passed the deliveryman waiting under the porch light.
“Hello?” I said, uncertainly.
“Hi there,” he said easily. He handed over a large paper bag. “Dinner,” he explained at my look of confusion.
“I didn’t order dinner.”
He shrugged. “You’re Sasha, apartment two?” At my nod, he added, “Well, somebody ordered it for you. Enjoy.”
Bemused, I accepted the bag and fished in my pocket, abruptly realizing I didn’t have my wallet to tip him. “I’m sorry. Let me go upstairs and get my wallet.”
He shook his head, flashing a grin. “I’ve already been tipped.” With a wink and a wave, he jogged off the porch.
I walked up the stairs. I didn’t know why, but I waited until I was in my apartment to open the bag. Quinn was in her bedroom, working on homework.
Crossing into the kitchen after I kicked off my shoes, I opened it. It was then I noticed the distinctive label of the English pub where Noah had taken us for dinner, and then Quinn several times after that because she loved it so.
There was a note tucked inside. When I unfolded it, tears welled and splashed on my cheeks.
Consider this a peace offering. I miss you, and I love you. Noah
The scroll was bold and clear. A full week had passed since Melanie had encouraged me to talk to him. I hadn’t.
As bad luck would have it, I heard Quinn’s bedroom door opening. I swiped at my tears, but she appeared just as I reached for a napkin to blow my nose.
She stopped by the kitchen table, and I stared at her bright pink socks.
They were her favorite kind, fuzzy and soft.
The very kind of socks she loved when she was a little girl, and I still got them for her.
That detail brought a fresh wave of tears.
I blinked, wishing I wasn’t falling apart in front of my daughter.
“What’s wrong, Mom?”
“Noah sent us dinner.”
Quinn peered into the bag, but she didn’t smile. Her worried eyes searched my face. “Why are you crying?”
“I miss Noah.” My honest answer slipped out before I could stop it.
Quinn sat across from me at the table, pushing her glasses up on her nose as she blinked at me solemnly. “Well, I think you should tell him.”
The wisdom of a teenager. And she was right. “I’m going to.”
“Call him now.” She stood, striding over to the counter where my phone sat by the refrigerator.
She set it on the table in front of me as she sat down again. “Text him and tell him to come over.”
“Quinn, it’s not that simple. And I don’t feel like making up with him in front of you,” I said, shaking my head slightly, amused despite the emotion clogging my throat and making my heart ache.
“I’ll go to my room and put my headphones on,” she offered so earnestly my heart twisted a little.
I took a breath, thinking maybe that would work.
“I’m sorry,” she said suddenly. “I know you didn’t understand when I wanted to talk to Noah about my dad. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Those pesky tears spilled over, the force of them too much for me to blink back. “You don’t need to apologize, sweetie. I want you to feel like you can talk to Noah, or Melanie, or any adult you trust. I know I have baggage around your dad, and sometimes it gets in the way.”
My little girl, who was getting all grown up faster than I wanted, nodded sagely.
More tears splashed onto my cheeks. Not for this moment, but for the twists and turns on the road that brought me here.
That was the sharp twist of love. I was so proud to have a daughter who could care and understand this much.
It meant she was growing up, and I would have to let go of my little girl a piece at a time.
After we hugged, she took her sandwich out of the paper bag, filled a glass of water, and pointed at my phone. “Call Noah. I’ll be in my room, and I promise I won’t listen.”
I didn’t wait. The second I heard her door close, I lifted my phone and pulled up Noah’s phone number.
He answered on the second ring. As soon as I heard his voice, I couldn’t think of what to say.
My feelings were spinning inside each other and bouncing around in my brain.
My breath was locked in my lungs, and I was silent.
“Sasha?” Noah prompted into the quiet line.
The sound of his voice seemed to set me free. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, and I was relieved he couldn’t see what a mess I was. “It’s me,” I finally said between sniffles.
“Are you okay?” His tone was even, but I could sense a touch of alarm.
I sniffled again, finally grabbing a napkin on the table and wiping it across my eyes. “I’m fine. Thank you for the dinner.”
“You’re welcome.”
We fell quiet again, and I tried to think of what to say. My mouth was ahead of my brain. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I kind of panicked. Everything around Quinn is sort of a button for me.”
“I understand. I didn’t think through what it might feel like for you.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” I insisted.
“No, I should. Things felt good with us, but I didn’t think about how this was different. You’ve been raising Quinn all by yourself since she was a baby. I overstepped.”
“I appreciate that, but I also overreacted. Can we call it a draw, and you come over tonight?”
“Absolutely. When should I be there?”
“Now would be good,” I replied, feeling bashful.
“Be there in ten.”
“Wait!”
“What is it?”
“You only sent two sandwiches. I don’t want you to be hungry.”
“I’ll pick one up on the way over. Wait for me before you eat.”
As soon as I hung up, I heard the sound of Quinn’s bedroom door opening and rolled my eyes. Of course she’d been listening. Maybe I should’ve been embarrassed, but I was too filled with a rushing sense of joy mingled with peace to worry over it.
“You told him to come over, right?” Quinn asked when she appeared at the end of the hallway.
I swiped my tears away and nodded. “Do you want to eat with us?”
Her smile was slow and sweet. “I’ll eat in my room. Let’s watch a show afterward. You need a little bit of privacy.” She spun away, waving over her shoulder as she hurried down the hallway. “But for God’s sake, don’t go crazy in the kitchen,” she called right before she closed her door.
My cheeks were still hot when Noah arrived a few minutes later. When he wrapped me in his arms, I breathed him in, thanking the universe and the stars that I hadn’t screwed this up too badly.
By the time he drew back, joy and need were spinning through me. “Quinn said we couldn’t go too crazy in the kitchen,” I said breathlessly.
Noah chuckled. “Smart girl. Now let’s eat.”
We sat at the kitchen table and ate together. I savored every second of the quiet simplicity of the moments. When Quinn came out of her bedroom to join us to watch a show, I was curled up against Noah's side with his arm around my shoulders and Matilda napping at our feet.