Chapter Eight
IAN
Jane’s hair caught glints of light from above and from the candle on the table between us. I shifted in my chair. I was the one who had invited her to come to dinner with me, and I was doubting it was a good idea. I kept telling myself this was no date, yet it felt like one.
Emile’s was the kind of place for a romantic evening. I wouldn't think anything of it if I weren't nearly tied up in knots with need for her. I'd been thinking about her comment off and on, about how I never noticed her when we were younger. I wanted to say it wasn't true, but it was.
It had been easy not to notice her. She was one of my younger sister’s friends, so that sort of automatically made her off-limits.
But she also wasn't the kind of girl I paid attention to back then.
I'd been looking for nothing more than a good time with any girl who might give it to me. All I wanted was fun.
Jane was smart and on the bookish side. Seeing her now, I discovered I had a librarian fantasy I never knew existed. With her glasses and when she pursed her lips and looked at me kind of like a schoolteacher, it was all I could do not to whistle through my teeth and tug her onto my lap.
So, there I sat, my cock so hard it ached.
My jeans felt uncomfortably tight as I shifted in my chair.
I wanted the brush of her fingers over my cock, not mine.
As I tried to distract myself and adjust myself once again, Jane was saying something, and I lost the thread of the conversation. She stopped talking completely.
“Are you even listening to me?” She pursed her lips again, sending a sizzling jolt of lust straight to my balls.
“Of course.” That was a total lie, but I would try to wiggle out of this one.
“What was I talking about?”
A wink and a quick smile were not going to dissuade Jane. “Well, I asked you about work, and you were telling me about your job out in Seattle. Something about your boss.”
“What about my boss?”
“You thought he was awesome,” I quipped.
Jane rolled her eyes and lifted her wine glass, taking the last swallow. When she set it down, her tongue swiped across her bottom lip. Now my cock ached even more. I tore my eyes away from her mouth, looking down at her fingertips where she idly traced the stem of the glass.
“I hated my boss. He was an asshole who relied on everybody else to do his work for him, and then he took the credit. Now, could you please just admit you weren't paying attention? I prefer that to you trying to tease me into thinking otherwise.”
Her eyes held mine steadily. I finally cast her a sheepish smile. “Fine. I lost track of what you were saying, but I have a good excuse.”
She tipped her head to the side, lifting her hand away from the wine glass to catch a lock of hair that had fallen loose. She spun it around her finger, and I watched it slide in quick circles. She cleared her throat. “What's your good excuse? I can't wait to hear it.”
“You're distracting,” I said flatly, my voice almost coming out in a growl.
Her hand stilled and dropped to her lap. She straightened, her eyes blinking behind her glasses. I'd surprised her and felt like I'd caught my balance for the moment. Jane had me feeling off-balance almost every moment since we’d ended up in Haven’s Bay together.
“I'm distracting?” she prompted, her tone laced with doubt.
“You’re beautiful,” I replied, deciding honesty was my best course here.
Her cheeks went pink. She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again. “Flattery doesn't change the fact that you weren't listening. Try again.”
“Oh no, I'm telling the truth. You don’t understand just how distracting you are.”
Leaning forward, I reached for her hand where it had fallen on the table. I curled mine over it, trailing my thumb across the silky skin on the inside of her wrist. I could feel the rapid beat of her pulse there and watched when her lips parted slightly as she took in a sharp intake of air.
“What? No one else has told you you're beautiful? I'm going to guess, if that's actually the case, it's because you've mastered the art of brushing guys off.”
Pink crested higher on her cheeks, her flush deepening when she bit the corner of her lip. Fuck me. I was already in bad enough shape. As it was, my zipper was going to permanently imprint on my cock if I had to tolerate much more of this.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Just that. I get it. Maybe I didn't notice you in high school, and maybe other guys didn't notice you in high school, but high school is weird.
You kept to yourself. You're brilliant, and you're a professor now, so that's probably a little intimidating to some men. That’s no excuse because men can be total idiots.
You also hold yourself back. I can guarantee that.
When's the last time you dated someone?”
Jane’s eyes widened slightly, and regrettably, she released her bottom lip. Then she slid her tongue across it again as if to smooth over where she'd been worrying it with her teeth. I needed to kiss it. That would make it all better.
She shrugged lightly. “Sometime last year.”
I could practically see her brain clicking into gear. Her gaze turned assessing, and I felt her pulse lunge on the inside of her wrist. I waited. I was good at waiting people out.
“I have a proposition,” she said, her voice a little raspy.
“Oh, this ought to be good. A proposition?”
She nodded. Her blush deepened. She was wearing this silky camisole with a soft cashmere sweater that buttoned a little low. I could see the shadowed valley between her breasts, and the teasing hint of her curves. I wanted to peel that sweater apart to see all of her.
“You're probably going to think I'm crazy.”
I shrugged. “I doubt it. Aren't we all a little crazy?”
Her lashes swept down, and I watched as her shoulders rose and fell with a deep, shuddering breath. When she opened her eyes again, she lifted her chin slightly and squared her shoulders. “I need a favor.”
“Anything.”
“I'm a virgin, and I would prefer not to be because it makes things awkward for dating.
People take it seriously, like it's this big deal.
It's not to me, but I'd rather not worry about it.
It seems like it would be sensible to deal with it with someone I know.
We're here for a couple of weeks. Just once, and then you'll probably never see me again after this. It won't be complicated.”
So much for finding my balance in this interaction.
I felt as if Jane had kicked my feet out from under me, and I'd fallen to my knees.
All I could do was stare at her. I didn't even realize my mouth had fallen open until she said, “You can close your mouth.
It's not that weird. I'm not that old. See? This reaction of yours is exactly why it's a problem. Guys freak out. I know some guys are really into that whole first thing, but I’m not up for being someone’s trophy like that.
I don't even want to have this conversation anymore because you look all shocked.” She waved dismissively at me.
I felt caught in two opposing riptides. My need for Jane had just exploded. I'd never cared one way or another about someone's level of experience, but the idea that I could be her first? Holy hell.
The other riptide was no fucking way. This was my sister's friend. There was a reason I had carefully ignored all of Thea’s friends in high school. There were blurred boundaries and complications, all kinds of things I just didn't want to deal with. My life was stressful enough right now.
It wasn't even possible to contemplate getting into a relationship, not to mention that I hadn't ever been interested in a relationship.
Even though that wasn't what Jane was asking, there was no way I could just use her like that.
While I sat there scrambling to find my footing again, Jane let out a sigh and tugged her hand away from mine.
“You're freaking out. I bet you're thinking you don't want to use me, or it should be someone else.
I don't want anything serious, but I also don't want it to be some guy from a dating app who gets off on the whole virgin thing.” She released an annoyed sigh, her lips pressed in a peevish line.
She leaned back in her chair and drummed her fingertips on the table.
“Could you speak?” she prompted dryly.
“Jane, that’s—”
She circled her hand in the air when I couldn't get past those words. I didn't even know what to say.
“I don't think that's a good idea,” I finally said.
“Why?” Her tone was sharp.
“Because you’re Thea’s friend.”
She rolled her eyes. “I'm almost thirty years old. It's not like I'm some high school girl. I knew I shouldn't have said anything.” She narrowed her eyes and actually pointed her finger toward me. “Don't you dare tell anyone what I just told you. Thea doesn't know.”
“Of course not. I wouldn’t say anything to anyone even if you hadn’t asked.”
“Back in college when I should’ve been dating and just having fun, I was focused on other things. Now, it's turned into this, well, this thing. I just want to deal with it. Maybe look at it like a project, like I need you to help me fix something on my car.”
I ran a hand through my hair, more frazzled than I wanted to admit. “You're not fixing a car or putting in a new window. You're a person. I can't…” I ran my hand through my hair again, giving up on trying to find my way out of this conversation. I finally shrugged. “I don't know how to explain it.”
For a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw hurt flickering in her eyes, but she looked away, lifting her water glass and taking a swallow. “Fine, but now you see my point.”