Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
THEA
“What?” Jane asked, her eyes going wide as she looked at me from across the table.
I took a bite of my sandwich, chewing quickly and hoping that would get rid of my embarrassment.
I wasn't the kind of girl who did things on the sly or kept secrets, but I had been recently.
At least, for over a month or so. She circled her hand in the air impatiently.
We were at a small café we'd started coming to on occasion for lunch.
Sometimes, it was just Jane and me, and sometimes, Audrey and Sasha joined us. It felt like the four of us friends from high school were reconfiguring in Boston now, and I really liked it. But I digress.
I swallowed and dabbed at my mouth with my napkin. “I went up to the house at Christmas, but you and Ian were there. I didn't want to mess up whatever was going on.” Jane's cheeks flushed a little. I didn't mind her feeling a little disconcerted as well. “Remember how you bent your tire rim?”
Jane nodded. “Well, I did too, and Joe was the guy who responded.
I didn't want to go to the house, and he offered to let me stay at his place.” I knew my cheeks were fire engine red at this point because they were hot.
I had to grab my napkin and use it as a fan.
I even lifted my ice water and clasped it in my palms, willing my system to cool down.
My friend bit her lip, a sly grin unfurling when she released it. “Oh, wow. You and Joe.” She reached over and squeezed my hand. “You were totally in love with him in high school. I think that's really sweet. You had to break up with him because your dad wouldn't even let you call him.”
Emotion hit me in a rush. “I know. It was awful.”
“How are things now?”
I took a deep breath. “Really good actually, like insanely good. We sort of picked up where we left off, except he's a lot better in bed.”
Jane burst out laughing. “I think high school probably isn't a good standard for anyone for that.”
I laughed. “Definitely not.”
Jane squeezed my hand again. Releasing it, she leaned back in her chair with a wide smile. “I'm so happy for you. So, is this a thing thing?”
“What's a thing thing?”
She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.” She took a bite of her sandwich, chewing and swallowing before adding, “Like are you guys really going to try to make this a relationship?”
“I want to. Emotionally, it's solid. But the problem is he lives in Haven’s Bay, and I live here in Boston. Oh, and he has a son.”
“Oh?” Audrey asked just as she arrived at the table. “Who has a son, and what do they have to do with you?”
“Joe,” I replied.
“Joe Martinelli from high school?” Audrey sat down swiftly.
I took another bite of my sandwich, hoping Jane would explain for me because she was that kind of friend. She immediately did. “Well, apparently, when Ian and I were at the house in Haven’s Bay, Thea was in Haven’s Bay too. She and Joe reconnected, and they're hot and heavy again.”
My friend Audrey—also my sister-in-law, happily married to my eldest brother, and they already had a baby—pressed her palm to her chest with a heartfelt sigh.
“Oh, wow, I love that. It’s perfect. I hated what happened to you two in high school.
Joe was so good to you, totally sweet and into you, and you loved him. ”
“I really did.”
“And now?”
“Um…” I started to hedge, but these were my friends, and they knew how much I'd loved Joe before. “I love him.” Heat flared in my cheeks, but I couldn’t keep from smiling.
Audrey glanced between Jane and me. “So when's the wedding?”
“What?” I squeaked.
“Oh, come on! You were totally in love before. You got back together secretly over the holidays, and you're in love all over again. Let's just plan a wedding.”
“Um, I think that's a little early.” I looked at Jane, who simply shrugged.
“Really? You've already gone through something hard. Is Joe upset about your dad keeping you from dating him back then?” Audrey asked.
“Not with me. He thinks my dad's an asshole.”
“Well, he is,” Audrey offered, and Jane nodded along. “Wait a sec. Christmas was over a month ago.”
“I know, but I don't see you every weekend,” I replied.
“No, but you've been keeping this a secret since then,” Jane said pointedly.
“I know, it just felt…” I paused, unsure how to explain my feelings.
Audrey held my gaze before nodding. “It’s private, something you wanted to keep special. I get it. I didn't want to tell people about Dallas right away either.” At my nod, she continued, “So when’s Joe coming down? We should plan a get-together for all of us.” She circled her hand around the table.
“I've been going up to Maine more.”
Jane chimed in, “And when's he coming down here?”
“He’s been here, but with his son, we have to work around that schedule. It's going to be trial by fire with my brothers.”
“No, it won’t,” Jane insisted. “None of them are like your dad.”
“Thank god,” I murmured.
“Does Sasha know?” Jane asked.
When I shook my head, she pulled her phone out. “I'm texting her right now.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
“Back to the wedding,” Audrey interjected.
I looked over at her. “Joe lives in Haven’s Bay, and he has a son. He’s also running the family business there now. We’re not at the wedding stage because him moving here isn’t an option. I need to figure out if I can move and work up there.”
Audrey drummed her fingertips on the table, and Jane chimed in. “Are you attached to Boston?”
“I like it. It's a great city.”
“Can you imagine yourself living in Haven’s Bay again?”
“Of course, I can. I grew up there,” I said.
“What does he think?” Jane asked.
“He says he just wants to give us a chance. He doesn't want me to worry. He's pointed out I could commute to Boston. He's even offered to come here, but he's got a son, so I feel like that's not an option.”
“I got sidetracked,” Audrey commented. “How old is his son? What’s the scoop there?”
“He had a one-night stand, and she got pregnant. I haven't even met his son yet. His name is Joey, he’s six years old, and he looks just like Joe did when he was that age.”
Jane angled her head to the side. “I think it makes sense to wait to meet his son.”
Audrey nodded. “Dallas and I are very together, but if we weren't, I can't imagine just bringing someone into a child’s world. It would need to be a sure thing. Anything else would be confusing.”
“I’m in no rush. There's no pressure from me. I totally understand waiting. It’s just a lot to think about.”
“What ever happened with that guy Darren you were seeing last fall?” Audrey asked.
Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
“We broke it off.”
Jane’s perceptive gaze coasted over my face. “What’s up?”
I internally sighed. “I found out I can’t have children, and once I told him, he broke it off.”
“Oh,” Audrey breathed. “Are you okay?”
“I'd like the option, and it's not an option,” I said flatly.
Audrey looked torn, and I reached over, sliding my arm around her shoulders and giving her a side hug.
“I’ll be fine. It’s that thing no woman wants to talk about.
You already had a baby, so obviously you can have kids.
I don't know about Jane, but I'm assuming you haven't been told you can't have kids.”
Jane shook her head. “Do you know what happened?”
“Cervical cancer. It was five years ago and not a big deal, but my doctor thinks the treatment affected my fertility.”
“I’m sorry,” Jane said softly.
I swallowed, surprised my emotions weren’t getting the best of me. “Joe says it's fine, but that's why Darren broke things off.”
Audrey's eyes narrowed. “What an asshole.”
“We weren’t that serious. I decided to tell him because we were allegedly exclusive.
It turns out we weren't exclusive. I only found that out because Joe and I ran into him at a restaurant, and his girlfriend was pregnant.
She's far enough along that there is no freaking way they weren't together before that.”
“Oh, that asshole!” Jane exclaimed.
I shrugged. “I’m fine. It’s just how he handled it. He ghosted me, which was weird and shitty.”
“That is such a fucked-up thing to do, and it's really common,” Audrey said, her nose scrunching up.
“I am fine, but I’m worried maybe Joe will change his mind later.”
Jane gave me a long look. “Thea, don't make a problem where there isn't one. Look into adoption. There are options.”
“I know, I know, but—”
“I think you're just throwing up a barricade,” Audrey offered.
I pressed my lips together and let out a sharp sigh. “I don't think I am. And he has a son.”
“So, you feel weird about that?” Jane prompted.
I took the last bite of my sandwich, hoping I could chew my emotions into oblivion.
My friends waited. I sipped water and glanced between them. “No, I’m not. It’s just a lot.”
“Maybe it would be a good idea to focus on what you and Joe have, which sounds pretty good,” Audrey said gently.
“Apparently, he's great in bed,” Jane offered with a sly smile.
My cheeks heated as I rolled my eyes.
“Well, that's always a win,” Audrey chimed in.
“Don't you two dare tell me about your sex lives! You're with my brothers,” I muttered.
Audrey burst out laughing. “We’ll just talk to each other about that.”
Jane cast her a dubious glance. “Um, I don’t want to hear about Ian's brother in bed.”
I put my hands over my ears. “Can we stop the sex talk, please?”
My friends graciously let that topic go.
By the time we parted, I did feel better.
But the whole thing around children was niggling in the back of my thoughts.
It really upset me that a part of me was bothered that Joe already had a child with someone else.
It wasn’t jealousy but a discomfort. I wanted a child with him, and that wasn’t possible.