Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
THEA
Joey looked at me solemnly. His feet didn't even touch the floor where he sat on a bench at the wedding planner’s office. He was very excited. The woman helping us had stepped out to get some samples for color schemes and flowers.
Meanwhile, Joey looked over at me. “When do I get a brother or a sister?”
I had just taken a swallow of water, and I choked on it, sputtering inelegantly and getting water all over my knees and the bottom of my shirt.
I cleared my throat and grabbed a napkin on the table, quickly dabbing at my shirt and knees and scanning around to discover I hadn't gotten water on anything but myself.
“Excuse me?” I finally said when I looked back at Joey.
“Now that you and Dad are getting married, you can have a baby next, right?”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. My stomach turned sickly, and I took a deep breath as a shaft of pain sliced through my heart. “Um, I don't know. Things don't always happen in order like that.”
Joe and I had talked several times about this, and he kept assuring me that he was completely on board with adoption, but how did I explain this to Joey? I sure as hell didn't want to do it here in the wedding planner’s office.
Joey stared over at me expectantly. “When your dad and I figure out what's going to happen next, it may or may not involve a brother or sister. No matter what, you'll be the first to know.”
Joey was no dummy, and he eyed me skeptically. I was beyond relieved when the wedding planner returned to the room at that moment. She effectively distracted him by asking for his assistance in planning the children’s menu.
Later that night at Joe's house, Joey was sound asleep, and we were in bed.
Joe's palm swept down my back, and he cupped my bottom, giving it a dirty squeeze. “Come on, sweetheart, ride me,” he murmured.
I needed no further instruction and shimmied closer, rising up as he positioned himself at my entrance. I let out a satisfied moan as I sank down over his thick length, wiggling my hips for good measure once he was seated fully inside me.
His head thumped against the wall. “Fuck, Thea. You feel so good,” he rasped.
God, I didn't think I'd ever get tired of how good it was with us.
It was just easy, and the sex was this incredible combination of sexy, dirty, sometimes filthy, but also sensual and sweet.
It was everything I needed. Joe made me feel like the most womanly woman I'd ever felt.
It was only minutes later that I was crying out as my release wracked me.
I rippled around his cock, savoring the sound of his own ragged cry and the feel of his release filling me.
I fell against him, tucking my head into his neck and lazily dropping a kiss right there as I caught my breath.
“Do we really have to wait until January?” he asked a few minutes later.
I lifted my head, smiling. “Well, that's when my notice ends. I timed it with my lease. I might be willing to skip out on my lease, but I don't feel right about leaving my job in a lurch. I have to finish up that one case.”
“God, I hate that you're so responsible,” he teased.
“As if you aren’t,” I countered with a grin.
Just then, as if to prove my point, his emergency phone buzzed on the table beside the bed. He was covering the emergency call service for the weekend.
“You're right. In fact, I'm so responsible that right now, I'm going to take that call, and I might have to leave.”
“I know. I hate that you're so responsible, but I also love it,” I said with a smile.
I shimmied off his lap, walking into the bathroom to clean up.
He was on my heels seconds later, taking what he called a thirty-second shower.
The man was out the door within five minutes after his phone rang.
I plunked down on his couch and turned on the television.
That was usually my habit when he got a call, unless I somehow slept through it, which was rare.
As I waited for him to return, my mind kept replaying that conversation with Joey at the wedding planner’s office.
I needed to tell Joe about it, and I knew I needed to find a way to explain to Joey that I could not have children. And, hell, I was anxious even talking to Joe about it because that tiny doubt in the back of my mind still wondered if he was just appeasing me on this issue.
A week later, the paper crinkled under my legs as I sat up on the examining table at my gynecologist’s office. She was peeling the latex gloves off her hands and putting them in the trash receptacle. She looked over at me.
I took a breath and rolled my shoulders back.
“I'm just your doctor, but I'm going to tell you this because it is so much the truth. Love is love is love is love. Some people have biological children who never should, there are people who adopt and create amazing families for their children, and some people never have children and are very happy with that. IVF isn’t an option for you.
I mentioned it before, but I'm going to remind you again. You can call that therapist we talked about.”
I didn't cry. I was pretty much out of tears. As if to pour cold water on the dream of the life I wanted with Joe, his mother had asked me about kids again. And even worse, little Joey had come in during the conversation. I hadn't even known how to say any of the things I needed to say.
Adding another layer of anxiety, Joe had told me last weekend that Joey’s mom had asked him about having a talk. He hadn't wanted to do it when I wasn't there. I appreciated that, but not knowing what it was about was stressing me right the hell out.
I’d waited in his office at the garage while he met with her. I had no idea what they talked about because all he’d told me was she had some health concerns. She was Joey's mother, and I was panicking.
I kicked my thoughts off that self-defeating track and hurried out of the doctor's office. I didn't need to get all worked up over Joey's mother. Joe didn't even call her his ex. I knew he sensed my insecurities around it because he had reminded me more than once that I had nothing to worry about.
I just felt so ridiculous about the whole thing.
Just as I hit the sidewalk, my phone vibrated in my purse.
I slipped it out, glancing down to see Joe calling.
My lips started to curl into a smile automatically.
Even though he was hours away in Haven’s Bay, he was very attentive.
He called me every day, insisting texts weren't enough. I loved it.
Aside from the attention, it reminded me of the way we'd been before.
When we were in high school, he'd called me every chance he could.
That was way back before cell phones, and I was limited to fifteen-minute phone calls.
That was one thing my father hadn't interfered with before he blew our relationship up because he was hardly ever home, so he didn't know Joe called me every night.
I slipped my thumb across the screen and lifted the phone to my ear. “Hello.”
“Hey, sweetheart. Are you taking the train up tomorrow?”
“That's the plan.”
“Perfect. Why don't I pick you up there?”
“You don't have to make the drive, Joe.”
“I know I don't, but it's summer, and the weather's gorgeous. I thought we could stop at our favorite lobster roll truck on the way back. We can sit at the picnic tables and listen to the seagulls.”
I giggled.
“Seagulls are romantic, you know,” he teased.
“Of course.”
“So, what do you say?”
“You don't actually think I'd say no to that, do you?”
“Sweetheart, I don't take anything for granted with you.” His voice was low, and it felt as if he reached into my chest and squeezed my heart.
Emotion rushed through me, tightening in my throat. As solid as my feelings for Joe were, this was a lot. I felt as if I were walking an emotional tightrope, trying not to get too joyful.
“I'd love that,” I finally said.
Someone jostled me as they hurried by on the sidewalk.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Busy with work. That's all.”
I wasn't about to fill him in on my conversation with my doctor. He didn't need to know I was still holding on to futile hopes.
“What about your day?” I pressed, injecting lightness into my tone.
“It was a paperwork day, and I had to run over to our offices in Brunswick and Bangor.”
“If you're busy, that's a good thing.”
“It is. Speaking of that, we've got some extra office space in my dad's original garage downtown.”
“What do you mean the original garage? Is that the one near downtown where you have your office?”
“Nope, that’s the newer old garage. You were probably too little to remember, but my dad used to have a small garage on Main Street.
There was literally just enough room for one car to pull in.
It's in that old brick building just past the green. Way back then, my parents lived upstairs in the small apartment.”
“Oh, wow. No, I don't remember that. Your family still owns the building?”
“We sure do. It's part of the business. Over the years, we've done a couple of different things with it.
It's no longer a garage. The upstairs is converted into an apartment rental, and the downstairs is office space. Right now, two accountants share it, but one of them is moving out of town. I just wanted to put it out there so that you might think about it for your office.”
“Joe, I can't move until January.” It was sweet for him to try to help me plan for my eventual law practice there, but we had months to go. “It would feel weird for me if you held the space that long.”
“We don't charge anybody rent there.”
“What?!” I exclaimed.
“Seriously, it was paid off forever ago.
The accountant is my dad's old friend. The one who’s moving out of town is his son.
He's getting married, and his wife-to-be lives in Portland. The guy staying would prefer we don't look into renting it out to just anyone. He’d rather it be somebody he knows.”
“Does he hate my father?” I asked. I glanced up, checking the crosswalk light at the intersection. It was green, so I kept on walking.
“I will ask him if he hates your father. Is that a deal breaker for you? Because I don't think he would blame it on you,” Joe said.
“I just don't want it to be weird.”
A horn honked. Distracted, I glanced over to see someone had fallen off a bicycle. “Joe, I need to go. Somebody fell off their bicycle, and I want to help them up.”
“What time does your train get in tomorrow?”
“Five thirty.”
“I'll be there. Love you.”
“Love you,” I returned.
Slipping my phone into my purse, I hurried over and helped the woman up from her bicycle.
“It was nobody's fault but mine,” she said as I fetched her backpack from the pavement and handed it over.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She was already on her feet and checking out her bike. She held out one leg and pointed down to the abraded spot on her skin. “Could have been much worse.”
“Definitely not too bad. Some clean up and a little ibuprofen should help,” I offered.
I waited until she was on her bike and pedaling away. The sunlight glinted on my engagement ring as I lifted my hand to brush my hair back.