Chapter Thirty-Nine
Thirty-Nine
Sixteen years ago
Birthdays were what you made of them at the facility; no one in charge was going to do anything for you.
About half the kids had families who would visit and that was something.
If the woman in the kitchen liked you, she might slip you an extra dessert.
But Natalie didn’t have any family and the woman in the kitchen still held a grudge from the time Natalie had thrown her milk against the wall when given meat sauce that the lady wouldn’t let her swap for marinara.
“Happy birthday!” Gwen yelled, whipping Natalie’s blankets off her.
Natalie’s eyes shot open as she struggled to get her bearings.
“Finally, you’re thirteen,” said Gwen. “You’re a teenager! And it means absolutely nothing,” she teased.
“Thanks,” Natalie said as she sat up in her bed.
“What do you want to do today?” Gwen asked.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s your birthday.”
“It doesn’t matter,” argued Natalie.
“Oh, Natalie.” Gwen sighed. “You’ve got to learn to make the most of things. We can’t go to Disney World, but we can play checkers or something.”
“Okay, we can play checkers,” she agreed, to the frustration of Gwen.
“That was an example!” chastised Gwen. “You hate checkers.”
“I don’t hate checkers,” Natalie protested.
Gwen rolled her eyes. “That’s what you want to do today? On your special day? You want to play a dumb game that we never play that’s missing half the pieces?”
“Then why did you say it? You suggested it and now you’re acting like I’m so stupid for agreeing.”
Gwen sighed. “Okay, reset. Forget checkers. Pretend I never said anything about it. I want you to think of something that you want to do today that will feel special, that’s all. No pressure. If you think of something, tell me and we’ll do it, okay?”
Natalie nodded.
“And if you don’t think of anything, that’s fine too. Okay?”
Natalie nodded again, this time with a smile.
Natalie wanted to think of something to tell Gwen.
She wanted to feel special, but more importantly, she wanted to please Gwen.
She almost suggested a few things, but she didn’t want to upset Gwen like the checkers had.
As long as she was with Gwen, she was happy.
There wasn’t anything to do within those walls that would bring Natalie any more joy than that.
Natalie brought her dinner tray to the table and sat in the same seat she always did.
Not only was she not afforded an extra dessert, the one she got was blueberry crumble, her least favorite.
The blueberries probably weren’t even real.
They were sour and mushy and the crumble was more like a paste.
“Happy birthday, Natalie,” came a voice from behind her.
Natalie looked over her shoulder to see Declan. “Thank you,” she said, hesitant to outright ignore him.
He slid into the seat next to her and placed his tray beside hers. He never sat with them. This was going to be a thing.
“Gwen’s sitting there,” she tried.
“I wanted to offer you my dessert. You know, for your birthday.” He grinned as if he weren’t trying to convince her he was being kind.
“No, thank you.”
“Really, I insist.” Declan scooped a spoonful of the blueberry slop and dropped it directly on top of her rectangular pizza.
Natalie closed her eyes. He wanted her to react. He knew what would happen to her if she did. She didn’t want to be sent to her room for the night. She hadn’t thought of anything special yet.
Another spoonful hit her tray, and when she opened her eyes, it covered her french fries. Declan grabbed one, only a dot of blueberry on it, and shoved it into his mouth. “Not bad,” he said.
Natalie looked for Gwen, but she was still in the food line.
She would be a few minutes and Declan wasn’t going anywhere.
He started humming; it was the tune to “Happy Birthday.” It started soft, but each time he repeated the verse, it would get louder, more aggressive, his head moving closer to her ear.
She started to tingle. Not now. She couldn’t do this now.
She reached over and shoved his tray away. It slid along the table until it went crashing to the floor.
An attendant was at their table before the tray had finished reverberating against the tile. “What happened?”
Declan pointed at Natalie. “She pushed my tray. I wasn’t even doing anything. She always does this stuff to me.”
“Go get another dinner,” the attendant instructed. “And sit somewhere else.”
Declan slid off the stool and shielded his face enough to wink at Natalie without the attendant noticing. Then he was gone and only the effects of him lingered.
“I’m sorry,” said Natalie. “I didn’t mean for it to fall.”
“Then you shouldn’t have touched it. Now, finish up and then head back to your room.”
“Please,” she begged. “It’s my birthday.”
“Happy birthday,” he said. “You have ten minutes.” He made a point of motioning to the wall clock as he walked away.
Natalie stared down at her blue dinner, breathing and waiting for her emotions to regulate, waiting for Gwen.
“Ew,” said Gwen as she sat down and noticed the tray. “Did Declan do that?”
Natalie nodded, hoping Gwen would be mad, but instead she smirked.
“He’s such an idiot.” Gwen slid Natalie’s tray away and put her own down in between them. “Here,” she said, handing her the plastic knife, “cut mine in half. We’ll share. I’m not that hungry anyway. Plus…” Gwen reached into her pocket and pulled out something wrapped in a napkin.
Natalie put down the knife and grabbed the napkin, unfolding a brownie, her favorite.
“How did you get this?”
Gwen shrugged. “Nancy owed me a favor.”
“Thank you,” said Natalie.
They ate in silence for a moment, Natalie staring down at her food, Gwen with her eyes up, always aware of her surroundings.
“Did you think of anything yet?” Gwen asked. “Anything special for your birthday?”
“No,” said Natalie. “But I have to go to my room once I’m done, because I threw the tray. This brownie is special though.”
“Eh,” said Gwen. “I have a better idea.”
Natalie perked up. “What?”
“Look,” Gwen whispered as she nodded toward a small plastic container in the corner of the room—a poison bait station for the mice that ran willy-nilly through the place.
“So what?” asked Natalie.
“Go get it. I’ll distract the guy.”
Gwen headed over to talk to the attendant and Natalie slipped out of her seat. She made sure no one was looking, especially Declan, and then she swiped the container. It was gross, dusty, with cobwebs trailing from the wall, but Gwen wanted it, so she happily shoved it into her pocket.