Chapter 9
Mark
So that could have gone way better. Infinitely better.
I knew now that I had made the wrong choice in waiting until the company announcement was made before telling Sawyer about my position change.
Ultimately, the entire organization wasn’t supposed to know about the change, except someone had printed their email with the org chart on it and left it on the printer.
By accident or sabotage—probably just an accident—either way, Sawyer was pissed and I was fucked.
Friday had been so perfect! We laughed and had a great time.
We hadn’t once mentioned work, and I hadn’t wanted to ruin the mood by bringing it up.
I’d been a good guy and dropped Sawyer off at home rather than jumping into bed with him.
Had I taken him home with me, perhaps we would have discussed this whole work thing.
I would have caved. I’d never been able to keep a secret from him for long.
Last year when we had acquired a huge firm, I was under strict instruction not to share the news until it was cleared with legal, yet that hadn’t stopped me from sharing it with Sawyer.
But this time, when the information affected us directly, I’d left him in the dark. He had every right to be pissed off.
Sawyer hadn’t left his desk the entire day. If we weren’t able to work this out, then what? Did he not realize that this made things easier for us? We hadn’t talked about the future because while I was his boss, we didn’t have one.
Fuck. This was all so complicated, and of course, I had chosen the wrong words when I spoke to him.
As the day crept towards five o’clock, more and more people filtered out, until eventually, Sawyer got up and left.
Being that it was Monday night, he probably didn’t have any plans at home.
I could go there, talk to him, plead my case.
Would that be enough? Probably not. Plus, without a plan, it was likely I’d just fuck it up again.
This was why presentations were my strong suit.
A slide deck was really where I could shine.
If I could give him a roadmap, a bulleted list, a concrete strategy as for why this would work for us…
Actually, what was stopping me from putting together a slide deck?
It worked in the corporate world. Why not in my personal life as well?
I closed out everything I had open on my laptop and fired up a new presentation.
First, I needed an outline. Objectives: Get Sawyer to understand why this change was necessary. Discuss strategic advantage of separating our department. Course correct our relationship.
I spent the next hour crafting what was probably the most important presentation of my career.
Seventeen slides covering everything from the current state analysis of our relationship to the risk-mitigation strategies.
I put the slide with a timeline and key milestones with our success metrics in the drafts folder.
I wasn’t quite ready to put my heart on the line by laying out the roadmap to a proposal and eventual marriage.
Our relationship was like a corporate merger.
By the time I finished, it was past eight.
Sawyer’s apartment wasn’t far from the office.
I wasn’t waiting until tomorrow. He needed to see this now.
I had no time to practice, as I normally did for an important presentation.
This was either going to be the most romantic gesture of my life or the most embarrassing.
Admittedly, the presentation got a little over the top.
Sawyer and I had several pictures together from various events at work, and I finally got to have fun with the slide deck in ways that I couldn’t for regular presentations.
Each slide had a unique transition, pictures whirled in from the side, there were silly gifts and buzzwords.
So many buzzwords. I had a whole slide about operating on full transparency and how Sawyer was my key stakeholder
Now I just needed to get Sawyer here. No way was he going to just come because I asked. I needed an emergency. Was my office really the place for this apology? Absolutely it was. No one was here, and I had fantasies about bending Sawyer over my desk.
I sent out a text:
SOS, I’ve lost all my reports.
His response back was almost immediate.
What? What do you mean?
All my documents. They’re gone. Off my computer. Can you help?
Call IT.
It’s after hours. No one’s here.
Surely you have backups. Eye-roll emoji. I’ll send them.
Fuck. I needed him here.
Can you just come to the office?
I hated that I was asking that of him. I believed in work-life balance. Then again, we had blurred the lines ourselves, and this was me fixing it. I would add it to the list of things he needed to forgive me for.
I’ll be right there. Give me five minutes.
Score.
By the time he arrived, I had everything set up. The projector screen had my presentation on display all ready for me to start. I even had a laser pointer that I had taken off Sawyer’s desk. I added that to the list of things he’d have to forgive me for.
“Mark, if this is some harebrained scheme for me to talk to you—”
“You saw through that? Huh?”
His eyes drifted toward the screen where my presentation was displayed. “What is this?”
“I have a presentation for all the ways I fucked up, and I’m hoping it will persuade you to see this merger from my perspective.”
“Merger?”
“Well, I’m sure you’ve noticed there’s been significant growth in our relationship this quarter. I’m hoping to maximize on our current status. It’s high-risk, high-reward. I’m willing to put in the work. For us, Sawyer.”
A smile. It was small, but I saw it.
I leapt at the opportunity and clicked the pointer to begin the presentation. “Sit down, please.”
“You didn’t lose any reports, did you?” He crossed his arms over his chest, but he wasn’t leaving.
“No. Everything’s safe on my laptop.”
He rolled his eyes and his lips pinched like he was fighting a smile. “Fine, but this is ridiculous, Mark.”
“It is. You deserve ridiculous. Can I begin?”
He waved his hand in a please-do motion.
“Current state analysis,” I began. “We’ve been operating at a less-than-optimal state due to conflicting priorities and information silos.”
“Suboptimal? We work better together than anyone.”
“Please hold you comments and questions until the end,” I said.
Sawyer settled onto the couch. His arms were still folded over his chest. He had changed from his work clothes to a more relaxed T-shirt and sweatpants.
“The problem isn’t our compatibility, it’s the structural barriers preventing us from achieving our full potential. These strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats are all present at our current and desired state.”
“And what is our desired state?”
“Please hold your questions,” I reminded him.
I clicked through the slides quicker now. I even included a decision tree for our various relationship scenarios, as well as key relationship milestones we’d already hit.
“Hold on, you consider laser tag our first date? Not the night I crashed at your place when Jeremiah and I broke up?”
I shook my head. “That was more of an exploration session to see if we were on the same page.”
Sawyer smiled and relaxed with each slide I worked through.
One of the last slides got to the heart of the issue. “Realignment” the title read.
“I made the wrong decision when I didn’t speak with you about the job change.”
Sawyer bit his lip. “You’re moving jobs so we can be together?”
I nodded. “It’s the only way.”
“You love your job. I love working with you.”
My heart sank. If he chose his job over me, I would have to accept that. Except, could I stay in this position if we weren’t together? We had still crossed the line. I’d tasted his lips and felt his skin against mine. I knew what I was missing, and my feelings for him wouldn’t change.
“This is the most ridiculous, over-the-top thing I’ve ever seen. It’s...” He stood up, walking closer to where I stood next to the projector screen. “I can’t believe how much I love it. Love you.”
“Really?”
“You made a business case for why we should date. With charts, Mark. How can I argue with that?”
“I know change sucks, and we—”
He captured my lips with his, his arms going around my neck. I kissed him back with everything I had. I dropped the laser pointer to the floor—another thing he’d have to forgive me for.
“Consider the merger approved,” he said.