12. Havoc
Havoc
I didn’t sleep last night. Instead, I stared up at the ceiling, counting the hours until daylight.
Chaos tried to convince me to join the party when I got back to the clubhouse with Aimee, but I could barely force a smile, much less pretend for an entire night that everything was okay.
I walked Aimee to my room and waited quietly in the hallway until I heard that familiar sound of furniture dragging across the carpet. She doesn’t realize I’ve figured out that she’s barricading the door to sleep at night, but I saw grooves from the dresser to the door.
Now it makes sense.
Of course Aimee doesn’t feel safe at the clubhouse after the Iron Sinners held her hostage not once, but twice. Yet here I am, forcing her to stay in a past-due attempt to protect her .
It’s something I consider all night. Replaying our time together. Sifting through every second from the moment I met Aimee until she disappeared. I think about the near run-ins with my club and with the Iron Sinners. I think about her messages after I shipped out.
Last, I think about the months after she was gone. I run through every detail Steel and Ghost said.
How could I have been so quick to let it go?
How could I have been so naive to think she left willingly?
If Aimee never forgives me, I wouldn’t blame her.
I stare at the ceiling all night long. Until sunlight finally cracks through the curtains, and I climb out of bed. After a quick shower, I text Steel that I need to meet with him and head down the hall.
The clubhouse isn’t raging like it was last night, but the party hasn’t quite ended either. A couple of guys are still sitting at the bar, while a few others start the process of cleaning up.
Clubhouse parties used to rage for weeks on end. But since Steel settled down with Tempe, he started enforcing new rules at the clubhouse during the day. From breakfast to dinner, he prefers the guys keep their partying and heavy drinking to a minimum in case Tempe or Reagan drop in with the kids.
As someone who has known Jameson Steel his entire life, I never thought I’d see the day a woman would come above club life. But I also understand.
“Coffee?” Wren asks from where she’s standing behind the bar, holding a coffeepot .
She’s in pajamas, so clearly she went to bed at some point last night. But it must not have been for long since she still has eyeliner smeared around her eyes, and her red hair is in a messy bun on top of her head.
“Thanks.” I stop at the bar, and she pours me a mug.
Wren is one of the newer patch bunnies, and I’m already wondering how long she’s going to stick around.
The second Chaos got out of prison, she latched on to him.
But that burned hot and then burned out.
Now, she’s more interested in helping around the clubhouse than hooking up with anyone.
Although I’ve caught her and Venom sharing glances on occasion.
“Everything okay?” Wren asks, setting the coffeepot back down. “I got the impression things were off last night.”
“Things are fine.” Maybe if I think it enough, I’ll will it into existence.
Wren nods. “You need anything else?”
I spot Steel walking into the clubhouse and shake my head. “Nope, I’m good.”
Steel tilts his chin toward church, and I head across the room to follow him in there. Ghost pops out of the hallway as I reach the threshold and joins us, shutting the door.
“Sorry it’s early.”
“All good.” Steel leans back in his chair at the head of the table. “I was already up.”
“I haven’t gone to sleep yet,” Ghost adds, sitting across from me.
“You’re going to run yourself into the ground. ”
Ghost shrugs, not caring.
“What’s going on?” Steel asks, knocking his knuckles on the table.
“I need you to be honest with me about something.” I cross my arms over each other on the table, and the mood in the room shifts with my tone.
It’s not in my best interest to speak to the club president like this, but I need answers.
“This has to do with Aimee,” Steel guesses, and I nod. “Ghost updated me on her ties to the Iron Sinners. Sounds like they run a little deeper than we thought.”
“Titan kidnapped her and her father when I was in the Marines, and I think it had something to do with us. I need you to tell me if I’m wrong.”
Steel sighs, leaning forward to rest his forearms on the table. “I don’t know.”
“Percy always kept you in the loop?”
Steel nods.
“Did he mention Titan trying to bargain anything with the club around the time I shipped out?”
“No.” Steel shakes his head.
Ghost taps the arm of his chair. “There’s nothing in the club’s records either. From what I can tell, Aimee being kidnapped had nothing to do with us.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“Or maybe it does.” Steel’s tone sharpens, and I realize I’m not the only irritated person in the room. “How well did you really know her, Havoc?”
“Well. ”
“Are you sure about that?” His jaw ticks. “Because your own brothers didn’t even know you were talking to her back then. How do you know you weren’t the only one keeping secrets?”
“Are you pissed I didn’t tell you about the girl I was seeing at eighteen?”
“If that’s really all it was, then no. But clearly this shit ran deeper, and secrets from the club cause nothing but problems. You know that.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I know how much fucking trouble the club brings. It’s my job to deal with it. Why the hell do you think I wanted to keep her out of all this? And why do you care so damn much?”
“We’re friends, Havoc. Brothers .” Steel’s tone lands like a hammer, and I realize why this is actually bothering him.
It doesn’t have to do with the liability I brought on the club—although I’m sure he’s not thrilled about that either. Steel is pissed off because he doesn’t like that I’ve kept the extent of my relationship with Aimee a secret from my friends.
My family .
“If she really meant that much to you, we would have looked out for her after you left.” Steel’s gaze shifts to Ghost, who nods in agreement.
“But you cut us out. So no, I don’t know if what happened to her had anything to do with the club because I didn’t even know I was supposed to be on the fucking lookout for it. ”
I brush my hand down my face. “I’m sorry, all right. She wasn’t part of all this. I tried to keep her out of it. ”
“We know,” Ghost says, his gaze moving between me and Steel.
If anyone understands keeping secrets over a girl, it’s Ghost. When he first met Luna, she was working for the Iron Sinners. And even though she didn’t know that at the time, his bringing her here was a huge liability.
All I can do is hope that if Steel can get past that, he can understand this.
Steel dips his chin, looking down at his hands, and when he lifts his gaze again, the anger has faded. “We’re good, all right. It just had to be said. No more secrets.”
“Understood.”
He pops his knuckles. “I don’t remember the club having any contact from the Iron Sinners around that time, but I’ll check my dad’s notes and see if I missed anything.”
“And I’ll have Legacy double-check the bank records from back then to confirm there weren’t any transfers that could indicate something was going on.”
“Thank you.”
Steel shoves out of his chair, nodding once before leaving the room. Ghost lingers only a second longer before following him. But I stay and stare at the pictures on the wall. The ones that mark our first ride as ranked members.
I don’t know what’s better, thinking my club had nothing to do with this or thinking they did. At least one, I could handle. But the unknowns are going to drive me out of my mind.