29. Aimee
Aimee
My stomach turns as I take in the gray skin. The splintered bone at the wrist.
The wedding band he never took off.
The scar on his index finger from the time it slipped when he was helping me open a can of green beans.
The lines on his knuckles are deeper than I remember, and they blur with the tears filling my eyes.
In the other room, Christmas music continues to play too cheerfully considering what is sitting in front of me. I try to step back, and my body runs into Levi’s firm chest. He’s the only reason I’m still standing when my knees are weak, and my head is swimming.
“I need air.” This time, when I pull away, Levi lets me go.
I shove between him and Venom and dip out of the room .
Through the static in my ears, I vaguely hear someone say they’ll contact Steel, but I’m gone by the time anyone responds.
Footsteps follow me, and I know it’s Levi without having to look back. His steady presence is all that holds my feet on the earth as the world flips upside down.
I spent almost a year with Titan. I know what he’s capable of. The scar on my stomach is the ever-present reminder of how far he’ll go to make a statement. I’ve always known there’s no mercy in hell.
But to see the pound of flesh taken from someone else because of me…
I shove through the back slider and fall to my knees in the dirt. A rock slices into my hand as I plant my palms on the ground, and my stomach heaves.
Everyone in the clubhouse might be watching, but I don’t care.
The world is blurry, and my stomach won’t stop turning.
I throw up again.
And again.
Until I have nothing left.
Not just in my stomach, but in my soul. My heart.
I suppose that was the point. Titan’s ultimate goal was to break me, and he did a wonderful job. He didn’t just rip my life away; he stripped me of hope. Of confidence. He ripped me away from myself.
And now my father is suffering because of that obsession. Because I’m not there for Titan to play out this game. My father is hurting because of me .
Dirt digs under my fingernails as I curl my fingers, scraping them on the earth. It’s not enough for me to hold on as my mind slips into an abyss, so I seal my eyes shut and try to forget.
I fight, scratch, claw, beg, but I’ll never be free of him.
Titan made sure of it.
Levi kneels beside me in the dirt, resting a hand on my back. He silently rubs up and down, not speaking. Just letting me know he’s here.
My gravity. My center.
I don’t deserve Levi after everything that’s happened.
He’s too understanding, and he hasn’t balked at a single confession.
He should hate me for who I am now. Or, at the very least, for being the reason his club’s war with the Iron Sinners has escalated.
He shouldn’t be here, making me feel better when I don’t deserve it.
Levi’s hand pauses at my lower back as I curl forward and vomit again. Only a splash of stomach acid comes out this time.
I’m empty as I rock back on my heels and sit in the dirt with my knees curled to my chest. I tip my forehead to my knees and take a long, deep breath as Levi continues to rub my back.
“He’s never going to let this go.” My voice shakes, and I hate it.
Levi sits beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “He won’t have a choice.”
The words are a threat.
Not a threat—a promise .
Levi holds me tightly, and I don’t doubt that he means exactly that.
“We’re going to end this. The club is planning to go on the offensive.” Levi rubs my shoulder, and I have a feeling he’s telling me more than he should.
Maybe it’s his way of proving to me that I can trust him.
Trust.
I don’t have much of that left, but I believe he’s being honest with me.
Lifting my forehead from my knees, I meet his gaze. “I want to help.”
“I can’t risk you, Aimee.”
“You’re going to have to.” Determination fills my heart. “I’m a part of this whether you like it or not. There’s a reason you aren’t getting anywhere, and that’s because you’ve taken the one thing off the table that Titan wants.”
“You’re not an option.”
“I’m the only option.” I reach for his hand. “I’m not the girl you remember, Levi. The one who always needed protecting. We both know the quickest way to end this, and that’s to use me to draw Titan out and weaken him.”
“You want me to throw you at him like bait?” He shakes his head. “I’d risk myself before I’d risk you.”
“He doesn’t want you.”
“Well, he’s not getting you, Aimee. You’re not his.”
“You’re right. I’m not.” I spin to climb onto Levi’s lap, straddling him in the dirt.
My arms wrap his shoulders, but it’s not sexual. I need the comfort. The closeness.
I need him to hear me .
Levi has spent his whole life protecting those around him, but the only way he can do that right now is to let me help. Which is why I need to find a way to get to him.
“Do you remember my senior prom?” I brush his hair off his face. “I was supposed to go with Sam Lindenberg, the star quarterback. Class president. The guy every girl in school wanted to go with—”
“Is there a point to this, or are you going to sit on my lap and reminisce about your ex a little while longer?” His annoyance all these years later over an eighteen-year-old kid makes me laugh.
“He wasn’t an ex,” I correct him. “He didn’t even show up, remember? I called you crying because my prom date bailed.”
“Sam was a fucking idiot. He didn’t deserve you.”
“He didn’t.” I run my fingers over the stubble on Levi’s jaw. “But you hung up the phone and showed up on my porch twenty minutes later in a tux to take me yourself.”
“Your father hated that.”
“Yes, he did.” I smile, even as the reminder stings my heart. “But you showed up for me anyway. Pretending to be a complete gentleman for the night.”
“The guys would have given me such shit if they knew about that.”
“ Havoc in a tux.” I graze my fingers over his cut. “It was such a nice look.”
He grins. “Want to know the truth?”
“About the tux?”
“About Sam.”
My eyebrows pinch.
“I might have gone to his house and fucked with his car. And then I might have told him in pretty clear terms that if he so much as looked at you again, I’d fuck up his face like I fucked up his engine. That’s why he didn’t show up to take you to prom.”
My eyes widen. “You didn’t.”
“He was a fucking asshole. You deserved better.” Levi tips my chin up.
“When I showed up at his house, I wasn’t planning all that.
I was just going to see for myself who was taking you to prom.
But he was making out with some chick on his fucking doorstep, and that pissed me off.
I didn’t want you dating anyone else, but if you were going to, then they sure as fuck needed to be good to you. ”
“Well, that explains why Sam avoided me the rest of the school year.” I scrunch my nose. “You seriously did that?”
Levi nods. “I didn’t expect you to be so heartbroken over the dickhead. Figured I owed you a prom after ruining it.”
“I can’t decide if that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done or totally fucked up. Probably both.”
“Probably.” He grins.
“That was when I fell in love with you,” I admit, my throat tightening. “Or at least, that’s when I realized it. I’d been falling for you for some time before that. But when you showed up for me that night, it hit me. You were always there, whether I asked you to be or not. Back then and now.”
His hands slide into the sides of my hair. “I always will be, Aimee. I promise you that. ”
“I know.” I press my lips together. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. It’s hard for me—” My voice catches, and I swallow. “I don’t know how to do any of this right. I’m not Reagan or Tempe or Luna.”
“I don’t want you to be any of them.”
“I’m broken.” My eyes burn, and I hate that I’m a raw nerve sitting on his lap, completely vulnerable.
“I can’t give you the things we used to want out of life.
And I’ll never be that girl who trusts easily.
Even if I figure out how to completely heal from all of this. I’ll never be like I used to.”
“Aimee…” Levi wraps me in his arms. “All I ever wanted was you. All I ever wanted was this . The rest we’ll figure out together. I promise.”
The past fourteen years have me wanting to resist. I’ve seen too much. I’ve been through hell and back. But somehow, Levi’s arms are still my home. And he’s the only man who truly understands and accepts me.
“We’ll figure it out together.” I curl against his body, hugging him as his arms hold me firmly.
My face buries in the crook of his neck, and I close my eyes, appreciating that we managed to come full circle. Even if we aren’t who we were when we started, we’re here.
He’s my person.
Grazing my nails along the back of his neck, I trace up and down until the tension leaves his shoulders.
“You love me.” My words are as much a statement as a question.
“Always have.”
“Do you trust me?” I lift to look at him.
He nods, swallowing hard.
“Do you believe in me?”
I find myself needing the answer to that more than the others.
“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He rubs up my back. “I believe you can do anything.”
“Same.” A sad smile crosses my lips. “I trust you, Levi. And I believe in you. So tell me what to do. Tell me how we play this. You know how to protect your club, and you’ve been to war and back.
So do it now. Send us into battle. Use me to go for the kill before anyone else gets hurt.
I trust you to keep me safe, Levi. What do we need to do to end this? ”