Chapter 12
Slade
It was Jaarl that Bane called to come and ‘guard’ me. After I ate, I told him I wanted to go back up to my room. The clubhouse is just starting to rise as we walk there, and I ignore the dirty looks that Beatrice and her bitch-bunny posse flash me when Jaarl isn’t looking.
When we reach my door, he stops me. “I need to clear the room first.”
Cutt’s attack has everyone on edge; I appreciate the caution, but I feel like a caged animal with a shadow everywhere I go, and I tell him so.
“Just taking precautions.” He steps aside to let me enter after he’s ensured the boogeyman isn’t hiding inside. His smile is tinged with sadness, and I prepare myself for what I suspect is coming. “I miss the days when you hero-worshipped your big bros, little sis.”
If I could feel anything, my heart would be damn near breaking in two right now.
“The past can’t be changed.” It’s a simple, yet accurate statement that helps me steer the conversation away from his attempts to have a heart-to-heart.
But Cutt’s attack has presented the opportunity for a new tactic to convince my brother to help me.
“And if a room needs to be cleared before I lock myself away in it, don’t you think me being here isn’t safe, Jaarl? ”
His blonde hair gleams in the sunlight coming through the bedroom window as he flashes me a look. I’ve seen that look many times before—it’s his ‘you can’t bullshit your way out of this one’ look that he used whenever he caught me in whatever mischief I’d gotten myself into.
I rub my temples. “Just talk to Ash about letting me leave, Jaarl. Please.”
Instead of responding to my request, he studies me. “Do you want me to call Dad to let him know you’re here?”
“What do you think?”
He winces. “Yeah, Dad is a dick. He won’t hear it from me that you’re here.” He gives me that big-brother smile. “You want to go to the shop and work on some cars while I tune up my bike?”
There’s hope in his voice, but I’m not ready to face Badger. And I’m not falling back into past activities or bonding with my brothers because I’m not staying.
I need to think through my strategy for convincing the Council that they need to persuade Ash to let me go—or to force his hand with a Council vote.
The governance and politics of the MC are complex.
Ash is top dog, and his word is law, but there are times when things are taken to a vote.
For club matters, such as patching in new members, taking disciplinary action against members who break club laws, or making decisions about retaliation or war, church is called—a mandatory meeting for all patched-in members.
For other matters, the Council, which assists Ash in leading the MC, has higher voting power, enabling it to make Council-sanctioned decisions that all members, including Ash, must abide by.
The reason I know all this has to do with the mischief I used to get into as a kid.
I had once snuck into the meeting room that was used for church in search of tacks and other supplies for my antics, and Zeus had come in with his then-Council.
Instead of scrambling out of the room, I huddled in the supply closet and listened.
Thunder, Cutt’s dad, had demanded that Zeus and his Council bring up getting involved in human trafficking for the whole club to vote on at church.
Zeus explained that something like this was a Council-only decision.
The Council voted on the spot that the Havoc Guardians would never get involved in human trafficking, no matter how much money could be made, citing it was Council-sanctioned and final, and Thunder had no choice but to drop it.
As the Prez, Ash has the power to decide what goes to church for a vote.
And he’d never agree to take the item of me and the threat I could pose to church for a vote, because he wouldn’t want to risk the outcome.
But if the Council voted on it, making it Council-sanctioned, Ash couldn’t do anything about it.
Jaarl clears his throat, pulling my attention back to him. “What are you plotting in that head of yours, sis?”
“Where are the Council members?”
His expression hardens as he observes me through hooded eyes. This isn’t Jaarl, my brother, looking at me right now, it’s Breaker, the patched-in member of the Havoc Guardians.
Again, like with Bane’s look in the kitchen, I feel that something has changed, but I can’t put my finger on it.
“Digits is up in his den in the tower,” he finally answers. And the tower isn’t exactly a tower, but a separate structure connected to the main part of the clubhouse that’s one floor taller. “Pix and Army are off-site.”
“With Ash?”
“Tell me what’s going on with you, Slade?” When I stay silent, he turns frustrated. “Where were you all these years? What happened to you? What’s chasing you?”
“Nothing,” I lie. “Is it so hard to get through your thick head that I don’t want to stay? This is no longer my family.”
He blanches. And okay, I’m an absolute ass.
Then his jaw hardens. “We will find out.”
Panic tries to rear deep within me, but I push it back down. There’s no way they can find out the secrets I’m hiding.
A part of me wants to tell my brothers what Antwane did to me. We were close once, the bond between us solid, unbreakable…until it wasn’t.
But my refusal to tell them isn’t because they’ve lost my trust; it’s because I can’t speak about what happened to me without completely and quickly spiraling into chaos and hell.
And if my brothers knew the hell I survived, then their guilt would really take over. Emotions would cloud their every decision; they’d never let me out of their sight again.
I sit on the bed, feeling weary and exhausted. “You can leave.”
The silence is heavy, broken by the sound of his frustrated breaths. Then he leaves and shuts the door behind him.