Chapter 4
Later that night Tempest and Brandt very carefully set out a complete Christmas dinner on Kiernan and Abby’s front porch. They left gift after gift, each box wrapped in bright papers and ribbons. When they were done, they stood hand in hand while Brandt knocked softly on the door. When they heard the sound of someone on the other side of the door unlocking it, Tempest called her mists and transported them back to their own home.
Addie, Abby’s sister opened the door and was astounded by what she saw. “Abby! Come look,” she called out.
Abby tried to get up off the sofa, but it was just too much for her. She was heavily pregnant and found it hard to move. “Can’t you just tell me?” she asked.
“It’s food. Lots of food, and presents!” Addie exclaimed.
“What?” Kiernan asked, coming back into the living room, and handing Abby a cup of steaming chamomile and peppermint tea. “Here you go, honey.”
“It’s presents and food,” Addie repeated, squatting down to lift the lid of one of the covered dishes. “Oh, it’s a ham!” she said, practically drooling.
Kiernan walked over, followed closely by his brother, Shaun, who started picking up presents and carrying them inside.
“Hold on, now. We can’t accept all this,” Kiernan said.
“Of course, we can,” Shaun said. “Says right here, ‘From Santa, Enjoy’.” He put down the gifts he was carrying near the tree they’d already decorated with KJ earlier in the evening, then handed the note to Kiernan.
Kiernan read the note, then looked up at his mate.
“They want to make sure we have a good Christmas. To refuse it would be an insult,” Abby said with a slight shrug.
“You think so?” Kiernan asked.
Abby kind of shrugged again.
“We didn’t ask for any of it,” Addie said. “It’s of their own free will,” she reminded them.
“True, I just don’t want to accept charity. I’m more than willing to work for anything at all we need. That was our agreement,” Kiernan said.
“I don’t think it’s charity. I think it’s how they take care of their clan,” Abby said. As she said that, the Christmas lights on the house next door flipped on. The interior lights came on and she could see the Christmas tree through the window, too. “I think they all do Christmas big around here.”
“And like you said, we’ve already made an agreement to work for our keep. And I know you’ll give a thousand percent,” Abby said.
“Well, I’m bringing this food in,” Addie said. She carried the ham inside, then went back for what turned out to be macaroni and cheese. When she returned to get another large dish, she noticed the man who lived in the house next door standing on his porch looking around.
He noticed her and called over to her. “You get a bunch of Christmas stuff left for you, too?”
Addie laughed. “Sure did! Wasn’t sure if we should bring it in or not. Maybe whoever left it got the wrong house,” she called back.
“Naw, not at all. It’s Brandt and Tempest. They love to do this kind of thing. Makes them happy. They knew exactly where they left it.”
“You get food and presents, too?” Addie asked as she picked up another casserole dish covered in foil.
“Yep. They just left mine on the kitchen island. At least they didn’t let themselves into your house while you were gone.”
“With this kind of food, I’d be okay with it,” Addie said.
“You need some help getting that in?”
“No thank you. We got it,” she answered.
“Who you talking to?” Shaun asked as he came out to help her carry the food, having finished bringing in all the gifts.
“Neighbor,” she answered. “Well, goodnight!” she called out.
“Goodnight. I’m Christian, by the way. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come by or, just shout, I’ll probably hear you.”
“Thanks, Christian, I’m Addie.”
“Good to meet you, and Merry Christmas!”
Christian managed to keep up his happy persona until he got back inside and closed the door. Then his fake smile fell. “And who the fuck is that helping her bring shit in?” he demanded of his empty home.
He stomped away from his front door and through his living room to the front window his tree was standing in front of, flipping off the overhead lights on his way. He stood in the shadows, lit only by the Christmas lights on the tree, watching the neighbor’s house, wondering why it pissed him off so much that a male was carrying in dishes for a female he’d never seen before, and only just learned was named Addie.
He stood beside the window snarling off and on for no less than ten minutes, the first five of which was spent watching Addie come and go picking up the dishes that held their Christmas dinner and carrying them back inside the house. At one point another male came out to make sure nothing was missed, then went inside and closed the door behind himself.
Christian remained there for a couple of more minutes making sure Addie wasn’t coming back out before he gave up and went to dig through the items Brandt and Tempest had left on his kitchen island. They hadn’t left a full family dinner, knowing that he’d be joining the clan dinner tomorrow, but they’d left him two bottles of his favorite Pappy Van Winkle Ten-year-old bourbon, along with several other bottles to add to his collection, and some of his favorite paté and gourmet crackers to eat it with. They’d also left him six boxes of Fiddle-Faddle. He laughed. As much as he loved his expensive bourbon and paté snacks, he couldn’t stop eating the damn Fiddle-Faddle he’d been addicted to as a kid. Toffee coated popcorn and almonds was his favorite guilty pleasure. Taking one box of Fiddle-Faddle, and an almost too full snifter of bourbon with him he went over to sit on his sofa, taking advantage of the quietness of the night to try to unwind a bit.
As he sipped and munched, he looked around his living room. He didn’t know how they’d done it, but Brandt and Tempest had managed to turn his living room, and the outside of his home as well, into the epitome of Christmas. The thing that got him, though, was that they’d been with him, at Kaid’s house. So, how the hell had they gotten time to do all this? Shaking his head at the lack of sense that it made, he reached for the remote and started flipping through the channels for something to watch.
He was still flipping channels two hours later, when someone knocked on his door. Jumping up quickly to answer his door, he was surprised and a little disappointed to find Analise standing there.
“Hey,” he said, looking around behind her. “What are you doing here?”
“Couldn’t sleep. Thought maybe you’d be up and might not mind some company.”
“Yeah, I’m not sleeping either. Come on in,” he said, opening the door wider to let her in. He glanced around outside once more, pointedly looking over at Addie’s house, but didn’t see any sign that anyone was up and moving over there. He closed the door and followed Analise into his living room.
“This is really nice.”
“Yours will be, too. All you have to do is tell Brandt you’re ready for it, and what you want it to be like.”
“I’m not quite ready to move back home. Not sure I ever will be.”
“Well, if you ever do, it only takes a few months,” Christian said.
“You want something to nibble on?” Christian asked, offering her the box of Fiddle-Faddle he’d been eating from earlier.
She grinned at him and accepted the box, taking a handful out of its opened top. “Some things never change,” she said, laughing as she popped a piece in her mouth.
“Some things…” he agreed.
“So, I noticed you didn’t even talk to me at Kaid’s tonight,” he said, going straight for the heart of things. “Are you upset with me?”
“No, not at all. Just so many vying for your attention, I figured I’d get a chance to say hi later. And you knew that, or you wouldn’t have been comfortable enough to come over here tonight.”
“You’re right.”
“You doing okay?” Christian asked.
“I’m trying. Think I’m going to head home tomorrow, though.”
“Aw, ‘Lise. You just got here. Everybody is so glad to see you.”
“I know. I can’t do this, though.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“No, I don’t. It’s been six years, and you still can’t be in the same house with him?”
“I can. I was! And neither one of us started hurling insults at the other, so, progress, no?”
“Yes, but, I mean, if you’d actually written him off, it wouldn’t bother you anymore. You know?”
“No, I don’t. Once somebody hurts you, you never forget.”
“Okay, I’ll give you that one. But once you truly don’t care anymore, you become completely disinterested. You’re not disinterested.”
She sat quietly for a while, so long in fact that Christian flipped the channel to the standard favorite holiday channel of all females far and wide.
“Still a sucker for the Hallmark Channel?” he asked with a grin.
“Are you?” she asked.
“You know it.”
They watched the movie for a while before out of nowhere she started talking again. “I’m fine for months on end, I don’t even think of him. I mean, not at all. Then suddenly a flash of his smile. The sound of his laughter, the way he says my name will emerge from my memories and I’m suffocating. It’s overwhelming, and it takes all I have to pull myself above the waves to even try to breathe again. I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Then don’t do anything.”
She looked his way questioningly.
“I mean it. Don’t do anything. Instead, surf it. Don’t try to fight against the waves. Surf across the memories that are trying to drown you, make friends with them, try to pick out the good times and remember those. Eventually, maybe the bad stuff will stop overwhelming you. Maybe you’ll train yourself not to even think of it.”
“You really think that’ll work?”
“One thing’s for sure… you’ve never addressed the betrayal, you’ve never processed it, or you wouldn’t react like it just happened every time just the thought of him crosses your mind.”
“I have pretty much shoved it down deep and ignored it.”
“See? I’m not just a pretty face, I kind of actually might know what I’m talking about.”
“Read it in a textbook?” she asked.
Christian barked out a laugh. “Something like that,” he said evasively as the credits for the end of the movie they’d watched began to roll across the screen.
As the new one started, “Oh, I like this one!” they both exclaimed at the same time as a movie about Christmas and love in Norway began to play.
“You’re still the romantic,” Analise said.
“I won’t even try to deny it.”
“I can’t wait to find out who your mate is. She’s going to be a very lucky woman.”
His mind went to the new girl next door, Addie and he smiled softly. “I might have one, you never know.”
“You do. And she and I will be great friends. We have to be, you’re my bestie, and my Hallmark binge watching bud. I’m not willing to give that up.”
“Nobody else I know runs up an eight-hundred-dollar phone bill watching Hallmark together long-distance,” Christian said.
“You love it,” she said, tossing a piece of toffee-covered popcorn at him.
“I do indeed value those nights. Best friends and insomnia… what more do you need?”
“Well, Fiddle-Faddle, and bourbon, obviously,” she said. “Which, by the way, where is my bourbon?”
“Coming right up,” Christian said, tossing his piece of popcorn at Analise on his way to the kitchen. “Hey, you want some paté?”
“Oooo, you have some?”
“I do. Brandt and Tempest left it — I think.”
He puttered around in the kitchen, getting a tray of crackers and paté, along with some olives and a small bowl of blackberry jam. Poured Analise a snifter of bourbon, dropped a few ice cubes into it, then carried it all back into the living room. “Here we go. All the fixings, too.”
“You’re wonderful.”
“You already knew that.”
Analise giggled as she spread paté on a cracker, smeared it with blackberry jam and took a bite, chewing appreciatively. “Oh, my God, that’s good.”
Christian ate a few olives and stood in place for a few moments looking around his darkened living room.
“It looks like Christmas exploded in here,” Analise said.
Christian laughed. “It does, doesn’t it? Again, it’s Brandt and Tempest I think.”
“I really like her.”
“Really? I thought maybe you were feeling a little put out by her.”
“No, I mean, she was just trying to fix what she feels should be fixed. It wasn’t malicious or anything, she just knows that we’re two parts of a whole. It’s just that in this lifetime, that whole won’t be whole, no matter what anyone else does.”
“I think maybe he wants to be whole.”
“He is whole. Did you see the way he fathers his baby?” she asked, grinning proudly. “He’s such a great dad. And she adores him, which speaks volumes. I always, always knew he’d be an amazing father.”
Christian’s brows both lifted almost to his hairline. “So, you’re proud of him, then.”
“Oh, my gosh, yes! He’s so attentive, and so loving to Harley. She’s a lucky little girl.”
Christian just nodded slowly, aware that she wasn’t even noticing that she actually admitted that she admired something about Havoc. Something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention, making him turn his head toward the large picture window in the front.
“What is it?” she asked, looking that way herself. “Did you see something?”
Christian stood perfectly still, his eyes scanning the area outside his window, but there was no movement to see. “Probably just a leaf or something. I gotta get curtains. I feel like I’m being watched in here.”
“Same. I love lots of huge windows, but I want my privacy when the sun goes down, you know?”
“I might go run into town and see what I can find tomorrow.”
“You can’t.”
“Why not?” he asked, turning his back on the window to look at her.
“Because it’s Christmas day. And because these are custom windows, you won’t find anything to fit them. You’ll have to special order something. It’ll probably take weeks to come in. Being that it’s Christmas, it might even take longer.”
Christian glanced toward the window again, and without a doubt knew he saw movement again. “Bet I can find a damn blanket large enough. I’m going to take a look outside. You stay here and keep warm, my dear Analise.”
“Okay,” she said, winking at him as she settled in to watch the rest of the movie. “But hurry back, I might need more bourbon, or paté, or bourbon.”
“You said bourbon twice,” he said as he walked out of the room.
“That one’s my favorite this time,” she called after him.