Chapter 24
Analise went into the house through the back door of her home and straight into the bathroom. She reached out with one hand and turned on the warm water, then sat down on the edge of the tub. “One of the things I like best when I’m upset is a nice warm bubble bath. Do you like bubble baths?”
Harley nodded.
“Let’s get those dirty clothes off you and you can soak in a bubble bath as long as you want. It’ll help you get warm and it’ll get you all clean, too.”
“Is my daddy coming?”
“He sure is.”
Harley watched Analise squirt some bubbles into the bath water she’d started, then let her take her dirty clothes off. After Analise got her situated in the bath, Analise sat down on the toilet lid and smiled at her.
“You okay?” she asked.
Harley shrugged.
“Anything you want to talk about?”
“Why was that lady so mean to me?” Harley asked, her voice just barely above a whisper.
“She just isn’t a very happy person, baby. She’s always been mean her entire life and it seems like it must just get worse as she gets older.”
“But I didn’t do anything to her.”
“I know. She was mean to a lot of people, all of her life. She was just not a very nice person. Some people are mean no matter what you do.”
The front door opened and closed and within seconds Emmalyn was standing in the doorway, out of breath. “I’m here! You need anything?”
Analise looked up at her sister and smiled pointedly. “Nope. We’re good, right?”
Harley looked sadly up at Emmalyn.
“You good, Harley?” Emmalyn asked.
Harley nodded.
“I’m kinda jealous. I want a bubble bath,” Emmalyn said. Emmalyn looked at Analise. “You didn’t make me a bubble bath.”
“You’re a grown up. You can make your own,” Analise said.
“Fine! I’m going to make me a bubble bath.”
“Can you lock the door first?” Harley asked.
It was at that moment that both Analise and Emmalyn realized Harley was afraid Marie-Claire would come after her.
“You know what? I’ll lock all the doors and all the windows and then I’ll sit in the living room and wait for you to come in the living room with me. I’ll make sure it’s safe. Okay?”
“Thank you,” Harley said.
“Harley, you know she’s not coming after you, right? She can’t. We can have her arrested if she even tries.”
“She said she was my mother, and that she’ll come get me whenever she wants,” Harley whispered.
“I’ll never let her near you. I promise.”
“Was she my mother?”
Analise heard a light knock on the front door, but also heard Emmalyn going to answer it, so she tuned it out and focused on Harley. She sighed and scooped up some warm water and bubbles in a large cup she kept in the bathroom to help rinse her own hair free of shampoo, and gently poured it over Harley’s head, smoothing her hand down over the water as it soaked Harley’s hair. “She is the woman that carried you in her belly until you were strong enough to survive on your own. Then she gave birth to you, and gave you to your daddy.”
“So, she was my mother!” Harley asked, tuning up to cry again.
“Harley, I know it’s really hard for you to understand right now, but the only way I know how to explain it is that not everyone who has a baby is a mother. Some people just aren’t meant to be mothers. There is a difference between someone who just has a baby, and someone who loves that baby unconditionally every moment of every day for all of their life. She was definitely not anybody’s mother. But she did give birth to you.”
“I hate her,” Harley said through her tears. “She said she hates me.”
“Baby, she’s been hateful to everyone for as long as I’ve ever known her. Unfortunately, she couldn’t even stop herself from being mean to you and you’re just a little girl.”
“But I didn’t do anything.
“Most of the people she was mean to didn’t do anything.”
“I hate her.”
Analise sat for a few moments pouring warm water over Harley’s shoulders, trying to think of the best way to address this. She didn’t want Harley to hold any bitterness or anger. It would eventually scar her and she didn’t want Marie-Claire’s behavior to have any long-term effect on Harley. “You know what? Some people are just unhappy and want the rest of the world to be unhappy just like them. No matter what you do for them, or give them, they’ll just be more and more angry. So, let’s not be like that. Let’s not be angry like she is. Let’s not hate everybody else because we’re angry inside. Let’s not be like that. Let’s try to be better.”
“How?”
“Maybe instead of hating her, we should be thankful for her. Because without her, we wouldn’t have you. She made mistakes, but she also gave us you. So, we’re going to think of her as someone who gave us a precious gift. And that’s all we’ll think of when we think of her. Nothing else matters because we’ll forget about all of the mean and hateful parts of it all. You’re here, and we needed her to get you here, and that’s why everything happened the way that it did.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I do. I really think so. Let’s make a deal you and me. Let’s never, ever allow angry, hateful people to make us unhappy. Let’s always just be thankful that we’re smarter than that. That we’re stronger than that. The only people that can make us hurt are the ones that we allow to hurt us. So we’re not going to allow anybody or anything to make us sad anymore.”
“Because we’re stronger than that,” Harley said, sniffling, but swiping at her tears with the back of her hand, which didn’t do much to dry them because her hands were wet.
“That’s right.”
“And we have people that love us every minute of every day for all of our lives, like you said,” Harley said confidently.
Havoc stepped into the doorway, his eyes locking with Analise’s when she turned to look at him.
“Yes, we do,” Analise said, pressing her lips together in a straight line in an effort to hold off the tears that threatened.
“Daddy!” Harley shouted, standing up and splashing bubbles and warm water all over the place.
Havoc smiled at his daughter and swept her up in his arms, hugging her and kissing her as he held her tight. “Why is it I’m traipsing around the woods looking for you, and you’re here having this very bubbly bath with Analise?”
“I’m sorry,” Harley said her eyes not meeting his as she remembered she was going to be in trouble for running off and not telling anybody. “I just didn’t want Analise to leave and I didn’t get to tell her goodbye so I just went to tell her goodbye.”
“We’ll talk about that later. Right now I’m more concerned with you being okay.”
“I’m okay. And I’m warm now. I was cold so Analise made me a bubble bath.”
“With all the bubbles, I think!” Havoc said, scooping up bubbles and plopping them on top of her head.
He kissed Harley’s little face three or four times, then carefully sat her back down in the water. “Thank you, Analise.”
“No thanks needed. I’m just sorry I didn’t find her sooner.”
“Is she gone?” Harley asked, looking up at her daddy. It was clear she was still afraid.
“Yes, me and Aunt Tempest made sure she’s gone and she’s never coming back.”
“Are you sure?” Harley asked.
“Very sure. She’s exactly where she belongs,” Havoc said. “Aunt Tempest made sure of it.”
“Did you tell her thank you?” Harley asked.
“I think she knew I appreciated her help. But I’ll tell her later, just to be sure,” Havoc said.
“No, not Aunt Tempest. The mean lady.”
“The mean lady? Why would I thank her?” Havoc asked, thoroughly confused.
“Analise said that we should say a thank you whenever we think of her because without her, I couldn’t be here. She had me so you could have me. And if she didn’t, I wouldn’t be here, so we will always only think good things when we think of her. She’s angry all the time but it’s not our fault so we won’t let her make us angry. We’ll just be thankful that she gave me to you. So, we should tell her thank you and then forget all about her.”
Havoc smiled at Harley and hugged her again. “And Analise is exactly right.”
“So you told her thank you?” Harley pressed.
“Oh, she knew exactly how I felt when she left,” Havoc promised.
Emmalyn, who’d been standing outside the bathroom, popped her head in with her cell phone in her hand. “Brandt wants to talk to you.”
They all turned to look at her, but she gave the phone to Havoc.
“Hey,” Havoc said.
“Hey. Sorry for the call, but you got your mind on lock down. She okay?” Brandt asked.
“Yes, she’s good. Analise has her in a bubble bath getting warmed up.”
“Good. Just needed to be sure. I’m with Tempest. I’m going to be here with her for awhile. Call me if you need me.”
“Everything got handled?” Havoc asked.
“Oh, you have no idea. It’s handled alright,” Brandt asked.
“Alright. We’ll be here for a little longer, then head home. I’m going to want to take out those French doors. Replace them with windows or something so it’s not so easy to get out on the back porch.”
“We can definitely do that. Sorry I didn’t think of it when we were building it.”
“You don’t have kids. Kid-proofing is something that wouldn’t even occur to you.”
“True. But don’t worry about rushing home. You stay with Harley. After Tempest is feeling herself again, we’ll get started on the doors at your place.”
“Appreciate it. We’ll be getting out of Analise’s hair soon, though. Won’t be long.”
“Call me if you need me. And open your damn mind so we can get in touch.”
“Sorry, used to keeping it locked down. I’ll work on it. See you shortly,” Havoc said. He handed the phone back to Emmalyn. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Anybody need anything?” she asked, looking at the three of them in the bathroom.
“Can I get out now?” Harley asked.
“Are you warm?” Havoc asked.
“Yep.”
“Then let’s get you out.”
“But my clothes are dirty,” Harley said. “And I got bubbles in my hair.”
“Daddy will rinse out the bubbles and I’ll go see what I can find in my bedroom for you to wear,” Analise said.
Fifteen minutes later Analise stood at the front door holding Harley in her arms while Havoc stood just on the other side of the door jamb. “We got to go, baby.”
“But I don’t want to leave Analise yet.”
“Harley, it’s time to go home. There are people at our house waiting to see you so they can hug you. You scared everybody.”
“I’m sorry.” Reluctantly Harley let go of Analise and allowed her father to take her out of Analise’s arms.
“I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Analise said. “And no more leaving home without telling an adult where you’re going.”
“I know,” Harley said, looking sadly at Analise.
Havoc gave Analise a barely there side-hug, then flashed a quick little wave at Emmalyn. “Thanks for everything. Let me know how much extra they charge you for your rescheduled flight and I’ll reimburse you, Analise.”
“What?” she asked.
“You missed your flight. I know you’ll have to fly out later, so whatever the rescheduled flight costs, let me know and I’ll pay you back.”
“That’s not even a thought in my head at the moment. I’m just glad Harley’s okay.”
“Offer still stands. Travel safe,” Havoc said.
He turned and went down the steps of the front porch, with Harley looking over his shoulder at Analise as they went. But Havoc didn’t look back, not even once. He just left.
Analise watched for a few seconds, then quietly closed the door and locked it. She turned around to find Emmalyn standing there watching her expectantly.
“What are you doing?” Analise asked.
“Waiting for you.”
“Waiting for me to do what?” Analise asked.
“To get your head out of your ass.”
Analise feigned fatigue, her head fell forward, her chin almost resting on her chest. “Get off my ass.”
“You get off your ass.”
“He doesn’t want me anymore. He practically just said go away.”
“He said to travel safe. He thinks you still want to leave so he’s giving you room to do that.”
Analise stood there looking at Emmalyn for a few moments. “Stalked Barron lately?”
Emmalyn pursed her lips and scowled at her sister.
“I’m hungry, I’m going to find something to eat,” Analise said dismissively.
Emmalyn followed her into the kitchen. “I still think it’s a shame you can’t just meet him right now for the first time. You two would be great together.”
“When did you become such a big proponent of Havoc’s?”
“When I took a minute to really see the male he is. He’s a good guy, and an even better father.”
“I know that,” Analise grumbled.
Emmalyn stood there watching her sister as she dug through the cabinets in search of some kind of junk food to snack on. “I thought that was really amazing what you said to Harley when she was in the tub.”
Analise smiled as she tore open a bag of potato chips, pulled the lid off a container of sour cream and wandered into the living room to sit down and munch mindlessly on chips and sour cream. “I had to say something to help her see the positive. I didn’t want the negative parts of it to eat away at her.”
“Negative shit replaying in your mind for all of your life can reprogram you.”
“Yes, it can.”
“When are you going to stop lingering on negative shit?”
“Can you not see I’m trying to work some things out here?”
“Yes, I can. I’m trying to help.”
“You’re not.”
“Oh. Well, let me try harder. Have you thought about when you’ll leave now that you missed your flight?”
“Not really.”
“Still want to leave?”
“Not really.”
“Want to go talk to Havoc?”
“Not really.”
“Okay. Think maybe you should at least call your boss?”
“Not really.”
Emmalyn started laughing.
“What?”
“That wasn’t what I expected you to say.”
“I know. I’ll call my boss a little later. Right now, I just need to be… here.”
“Here?”
“Yep. Just in the moment. Here. Me. No outside distractions,” she said pointedly glaring at Emmalyn.
“Alright. I’ll give you that. Let me know if you need something.”
“I’m working on it. You’ll know when I know.”
“I’m going to make spaghetti. You want some?” Emmalyn asked.
“Can you make some meatballs, too?” Analise asked.
“I can.”
“I love you,” Analise said, popping a chip into her mouth.
“I know. I love you, too,” Emmalyn said. “Don’t fill up on those, I’m not making spaghetti for nothing.”
“You sound like mom.”
“You look like mom.”
Analise sat quietly, eating her chips while the clatter of Emmalyn cooking just barely carried through to her subconscious. She had life choices to consider, and that required almost a complete lack of conscious thought on her part. She needed to just let down her defenses and let her emotions run free.
~~~
It was still relatively early evening when Havoc waved one last time and closed the door behind everyone finally leaving his home to go back to their own. He’d had a houseful, his parents and most of his uncles and aunts, all of them wanting to see for themselves that Harley was safe and sound. Flipping off most of the interior lights in the living room area, he walked over to the sofa and tucked Harley’s favorite fuzzy blanket around her as she slept peacefully with one of her favorite movies playing on the T.V.
He did his absolute best to ignore the fact that she wore one of Analise’s teeshirts as a nightgown. He’d tried to take it off of her and put one of her actual gowns on for the night, but Harley had flat out refused. He looked down at his child, sleeping so peacefully, unaware of just how much danger she’d been in earlier today, and his heart lurched thinking of what could have happened. He reached out and tucked her gently in once more before the sound of hammers infiltrated his thoughts. Havoc left Harley sleeping and went upstairs to see if there was anything he could do to help. The sounds of hammering and the soft murmurs of familiar voices stopped as he got closer to the back bedrooms.
“You don’t have to stop talking just because I walked in here,” he said.
“When it’s about you we do,” Ronan said.
“Then stop talking about me.”
“We’re worried,” Remi said.
“I’m good. Just got the scare of my life, but it turned out okay. We’ll be alright.”
“We weren’t talking about Harley.”
“Unless you’re talking about helping me move all my stuff from Missouri, I suggest you all stop now. I’m a grown ass man and can handle my own shit.”
“Alright then, how about this. You want these to be bay windows instead of regular windows?” Brandt asked, completely changing the subject.
Remi, Ronan and Barron all turned to look at Brandt. “We just finished framing and floating the damn wall. They’re not bay windows,” Barron said.
“I just thought of it,” Brandt said defensively.
“They’re fine like they are,” Havoc said. “Just regular windows. You do know you don’t have to do all this tonight. You didn’t have to start this at all until you had everything you needed. There’s no reason for you to work into the night like this. We still have to order the windows, they won’t be here for a few days. And the other room still has the French doors in it. Just go home. We’ll get it done as we can.”
“It’s still early, besides, we didn’t want to leave you alone,” Remi admitted.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you though?” Ronan asked.
“Yes.”
All four looked at him critically.
“Jesus,” Havoc grumbled. “I’m going to get a drink. Anybody else want one?”
“Yes,” they all said, laying their tools aside.
They followed him downstairs and into the kitchen where he set five bourbon glasses on the counter top and filled them each with ice, then a splash of bourbon. “To peace,” Havoc said, drinking his down in two gulps before pouring himself another.
“To peace,” they all echoed, drinking theirs down as well.
“We’ll get the windows ordered, and the bricks for the exterior so everything will match. You’ll never know where the doors were when we’re finished,” Brandt said.
“We’ll get the doors out of the second bedroom tomorrow. It’ll be a few days before it’s all finished, but at least the doors won’t be there anymore,” Barron added.
“It’s just me and Harley. We can live around the construction for a little while.”
“You could come stay with me and Tempest if you’d prefer,” Brandt said.
“Seriously?” Havoc asked.
“Or you could just move into Hellen’s house. She’s never freaking here anyway,” Ronan said.
“Now, that’s a thought. It might be worth it just to invade her private space and piss her off,” Havoc said with a grin. “But no, I’m fine in my own house while we’re fixing the doors. It’s not like Harley’s a flight risk, she just made a poor choice. We’ll be fine here until we get it all finished.”
“Speaking of Hellen, anybody know when she’s due back this time?” Remi asked.
After a general consensus of shaking heads, Havoc realized no one really knew what her schedule was. “Does she not check in with anybody?” he asked.
“She’s been working two weeks on and two weeks off. But seems to be on a lot more than off lately. Last few months anyway,” Barron said.
“Anybody asked why?” Havoc asked.
“Says she’s working. But she doesn’t tell anybody when she’s going, or coming like she used to,” Remi said.
“She’s alright,” Brandt said. He tapped his head. “Anytime we reach out, she answers right away.”
“I’m thinking she’s just enjoying her alone time. Loves her job, if she was having issues, she’d let us know,” Barron said.
Havoc took a second and opened his connection with his sister.
He got an immediate nudge back. “Yeah, she’s good.”
“She just likes her solitary life, you know?” Remi said.
“Feel like shit that I’ve gotten so caught up in my crap that I didn’t take a minute to even notice she wasn't around as much,” Havoc said.
“Now that you’re back, you’ll relax and things will fall back into place. You’ll see,” Brandt said.
“What about everybody else?” Havoc asked.
“Christian is about it as far as out on his own and ready to live here. Christian is working all the damn time. He’s almost finished his residency. Haven’t seen him since Christmas. I don’t even think he’s seen the new girl he hit it off with, what’s her name?”
“Addie,” Barron said.
“Yeah, Addie. And then there’s Angelle, she’ll come over from time to time, on the weekends especially if we’re cooking out or something, but for the most part hates crowds and places that aren’t home. She’s not interested in moving out of her mom and dad’s. Analise and Emmalyn, Emmalyn will pop in from time to time, but Analise, this is the first time she’s been here and spent any real time here since she went off to college,” Brandt said.
“Always thought we’d all end up back here, building a clan like our parents have,” Havoc said.
“We are. It’s just not happening overnight, and it didn’t happen overnight for them either,” Brandt said.
Havoc nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m looking forward to being back home and falling into a routine,” Havoc said.
“We’re glad you’re back,” Remi said, bumping knuckles with Havoc.
The headlights of a vehicle turned into Havoc’s drive, illuminating the kitchen and part of the living room when the vehicle turned in. Havoc looked around at everybody standing in his kitchen. Who the hell else was there? “What now?” Havoc grumbled, setting down his glass and walking over to look out of the kitchen window to see who’d pulled up outside his house.