Chapter 51
Leeva
Hellish fragments of memory ravage me while I hover some place between unconsciousness and lucidity.
The sound of a shotgun.
The bullet, meant for Guerilla’s chest, hitting his shoulder as he leapt out of the way.
The pain and burning feeling when he slammed the knife into me.
The memories of the horrid things he promised he’d do to Hayes and that death ring.
My mind graphically conjuring images of Hayes trapped in some maze or a cage, forced to kill people just to survive.
Then picturing the Havoc Guardians MC deciding his fate and voting him guilty, then killing him.
A scream is lodged in my throat as I struggle and claw my way to consciousness, needing to get to Hayes. I can’t lose him—either to the death ring or to the club’s guilty verdict.
“Hayes,” I croak, my throat burning and my body protesting with pain. “Hayes!”
“Open your eyes, little dove. Leeva, open your eyes.”
My eyelids are heavy, like they refuse to open, but I pour every ounce of conscious effort into doing that task. When I do, I cry with relief.
His face is exhausted and covered with heavy stubble. His beautiful blue eyes are pained and worried. “It was just a nightmare.”
He sits in a chair beside my hospital bed, refusing to leave, even though I’m getting discharged tomorrow.
He hasn’t said it, but I know he’s spending as much time with me as he possibly can before the club votes in case they find him guilty.
Tears coat my cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
He kisses my forehead and wipes my tears away. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“I chose him…” More tears flow. “I never should’ve been with Guerilla. He was always just a substitute for you. I’m a horrible person. All this could’ve been avoided.”
He kisses me again, his face filled with regret. “The blame rests with me because I should’ve always been honest with you about how much I loved you.”
All this pain and sorrow could’ve been avoided, all this forgiveness—on both our parts—could’ve been unnecessary.
“I’ll make it up to you.” I cup his face. “Survive the club vote, and I promise, whatever you want, it’s yours.”
“That’s a dangerous promise, siren.” He smiles, but I see the worry and pain he’s trying to hide from me.
“I want…” I wet my parched lips, taking a moment to be sure that I truly mean these words. “I need Guerilla not to live.”
Hayes sucks in sharply, and his eyes dart between mine. “He won’t. He’s going straight from the hospital to the Cell.”
“But you’ll drag it out.” I know he will, but I need the threat of him gone. For good. “He could escape.”
Hayes is about to protest, but I continue, “It could happen. Anything is possible, even in a secure facility; something could happen, or someone could try to free him. And I…I need him gone, Hayes. So he can never hurt you, me, or anyone ever again.”
I see the war within him as his darkness demands that Guerilla’s time left on this earth is as long, painful, and hellish as possible, but I also see how much he loves me.
He kisses me with all that love, then rests his forehead against mine. “It will be painful but quick.” He presses another kiss to my forehead. “Rest now. You’re safe. I’m safe. I’ll get them to give you more pain medication so you can sleep more comfortably.”
I grip his hand when he stands. “No. I think that’s what makes the nightmares so bad. I’m trapped in them and can’t wake up. I just need you.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” I pat the bed beside me. “Please.”
He slowly gets on the small bed and gently arranges himself around me, resting his head beside mine. “Sleep, little dove. I’m not going anywhere.”
I fall asleep praying that he’s able to keep that promise.