Chapter 29 #2
“I married him and I’m as honorable as he is. I hope he knows I wouldn’t betray the vow I took.”
“No, hon. I meant does he know you love him?”
“I–I didn’t say that.”
“You said enough.” She patted my hand, then went to the sink. “Now don’t get me wrong. I’m all for making ‘em work for it. But don’t push so hard you shove him out of reach.” She pulled paper towels down and dried her hands. “He’s got a tough exterior because he has to, but he’s got a good heart.”
“A rugged one,” I whispered.
She nodded. “But think of it like this. If you had just met him and didn’t have to get married, wouldn’t you think it would be nuts for him to give you an engagement ring a few weeks into dating?
When a man decides he’s going to give a woman a ring, he doesn’t usually run off that second and buy it.
And even once he has it, he doesn’t just shove it in your face.
He makes a plan to present it. Because it’s a big deal.
To him, the patch is a hundred times more important than a ring. ”
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds different. He just said all these things about how much he cares for me. And we’re already married.”
“Things are a little backwards, and as bad as it sounds, the marriage certificate was part of a business deal. When he gives you the patch, he’ll mean it.
And who knows, maybe they already voted and he’s waiting for your patches to be sewn on.
” She went to the counter where I left the sausage and grabbed it, taking it to the stove.
“Then again, he’s not the type of man to push a woman to do something she doesn’t want to do. So if he doesn’t know how you feel…”
His words echoed in my head. He was right. He never said the three little magic words, but he answered all of my questions, told me things he was thinking, and even told me how special I was to him. While I thought I showed him, I never really told him how I felt about him.
As I mixed the batter with other ingredients, I started to feel silly. I let Jeannie get under my skin. And it was driving a wedge between us.
“Mama Hen, why do you think Jeannie was acting out?”
She scoffed. “Who knows. I will say, it was a new side of her. But my loyalty will always be to the club, and she’s not part of it.”
I wanted to retort that technically I wasn’t either, but decided against being salty. Instead, I told her, “I really do appreciate your support. It’s been a bit of a transition and honestly, I thought everyone would take her side.”
“Why the hell would we do that?” she laughed as she tossed discs of sausage on the griddle, sizzling as they landed.
“I guess because she’s been around so long.” I sprayed the muffin pans with oil and started pouring the batter.
“It ain’t been that long. Maybe a couple of years. But she never stayed here. She’s not a bunny. Just a party girl.”
“Really? I assumed it had been longer.”
Mama Hen washed her hands again then turned as she dried them. “Nope. Honestly, the bunnies come and go. Party girls stick around even less. They get tired of trying to get a patch and move on eventually. Or find a way out and start new lives. This is a pit stop for a lot of the girls.”
“This is crazy but… well, nevermind.”
“What is it, hon? You can speak freely to me.” Mama Hen came over as I poured the last of the batter into the muffin tins.
“I feel like I’ve seen Jeannie somewhere before.”
“How? You hadn’t been down here, right?”
Shaking my head, I told her, “No. And I thought maybe I was mistaken. But then when Klara met her, she said the same thing. And I know for sure Klara hasn’t been here.”
Mama Hen’s brow furrowed. “Huh. That’s odd. Did you ask her about it?”
“I mentioned it when we first met but she said she just has one of those faces so I thought I was wrong. But I had a bad feeling about her, so when Klara said she looked familiar, too, I wondered if it was more than just jealousy. But I don’t know what.”
Mama Hen pulled the batter bowl from my hands and set it down, grabbing them once they were free.
“Katarina, Hawk is stubborn, a little old fashioned, and rough around the edges. But one thing he’s not is a liar.
I know he promised you he wouldn’t touch another woman, and you can trust that.
He would never do that. His daddy raised him right, and he taught all those boys to be honest above all else.
If he promised you anything, you can take that to the bank.
Plus, he’s been taken by you since he met you. ”
“That’s sweet of you to say,” I told her as I squeezed her hands.
“I ain’t a sweet old lady. I tell it like it is, hon.
And I know my son. He was a goner the second he laid eyes on you, even if he didn’t admit it to himself right away.
” She stepped in closer. “And I couldn’t have chosen a better partner for my boy.
Raven sure did know what he was doing when he made that deal with your father. I just wish he was here to meet ya.”
Her eyes got glassy, and I threw my arms around her. “I hope I make you proud, Mama Hen.” Tears filled my eyes. “I hope he’s proud, if he’s watching us. I’m honored to be part of your family.”
We hugged for several minutes, not loosening our grip on each other.
I sniffled and my shoulders shook a little but the only sign I had that she was crying was when she swiped at her eyes.
I didn’t want to let her go. She was so warm and comforting.
It had been so long since I was just held by my mother.
I’d had hugs, even from her since we met.
But this was one of those hugs that melted away your sorrows and made you realize that even if things weren’t okay, they would be.
The type of hug that could only be given by a mother.
“The honor is ours,” she finally said, pulling away. “Now, let’s finish up breakfast before all those knuckleheads come in.”
We had gotten the first round of breakfast done and Lacy showed up to help serve and get the second round going.
“We held the line,” she whispered as she grabbed the coffee and four mugs.
Smiling, I gripped her hand. “Teamwork. But I may try to talk to him.”
“Whatever you think is best.” She leaned in. “I hate confrontation, but sometimes we gotta just clear the air.” She looked around and once Mama Hen pushed through the door she said, “He’s out there and he looks like his puppy died.”
My mouth fell open. “Thanks a lot.”
“I’m sorry.” She grimaced. “It’s just awful seeing those tough guys that way, you know?”
She started to walk away, but I grabbed her shoulder. “Hey, can I take that?”
Lacy smiled, her blue eyes sparkling. She went to the counter and set the mugs down before pouring coffee into one and handing it to me. “Here. I’ll handle the others, but take him this.”
“Thanks. Do I look decent?” I asked, checking my messy bun.
“Get under your eyes. Other than that, you look perfect.”
I wiped under my eyes and sure enough, a little mascara had run. I did a quick and dirty makeup removal job last night and didn’t get all of it off. Crying didn’t help. Add to that my messy bun and random clothes I threw on just to get out of there and I almost didn’t want him to see me.
But even though he was probably busy, I wanted to at least take his morning coffee. Maybe a small peace offering.
Grabbing the mug, I drew in a deep breath and blew it out before lifting my chin high and walking through the swinging door.
The music was on now and quiet conversations took place around the bar as people started enjoying breakfast.
He was at his table, in his spot. The place next to him where I’d sat so many times now was empty, but Niko and Eagle were with him.
Lacy was at the table next to them and gave me a wink.
His crystal blue gaze caught mine as I got closer. My heart raced as I took slow steps towards the table. I wasn’t even this nervous the night I’d met him.
When I was only steps away, he stood up, looking even bigger than normal. Maybe I just felt smaller. Eagle and Niko looked over.
“Good morning, sister.”
Nodding at Niko as I got closer, I said, “Good morning, brother. I trust you slept well.”
Stopping at the table, I looked back over at Hawk, slowly lifting my eyes up to his.
“That for me?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He took the mug, but instead of sipping, he sat it on the table. I expected him to say something cold, or even for him to simply sit down and ignore that I was there.
Swallowing, I started to turn. His stare was unnerving, and I assumed he was working hard to not start a fight in mixed company.
But I barely moved when he grabbed my shirt with one hand and gripped my neck with the other, his fingers threading into the loose hair under the bun, his lips crashing into mine.
My hands gripped his leather, pulling him down closer. My body trembled as I soaked him up. The release of all the hurt and anger melted away with each stroke of his tongue.
His arms engulfed me, drawing me to him, and I couldn’t get close enough.
It was only when cheers and whistles filled the room that we slowed and he pressed his forehead to mine.
Fighting back tears of relief, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Just say you’re not angry with me anymore,” he said under his breath.
“I’m not angry with you.”
He kissed me again, creating more cheers. He stopped, pulling me closer and shouted, “Knock it off!”
“Oh, give ‘em a break!” Mama Hen shouted back.
He leaned down for another kiss, a quick peck on the lips, then gripped my chin gently. “We have some business to handle. But we’ll talk later.”
“Okay.”
He wrapped me up in his arms and squeezed me, so I wrapped mine around his waist as tightly as I could. I drew in his warm fragrance and my body relaxed. After a few beats, he finally pulled away and reached for the mug. “Thank you for this, Kitty Kat.”
Smiling, I turned and went back to the kitchen to finish helping.
But as I did, I let out a huge sigh of relief.
There wasn’t anything he needed to say, but I wanted to tell him exactly what he meant to me when we spoke later.
If I wanted to be the First Lady, I had to first let him know I didn’t see myself just as his wife, but as his woman.