Chapter 18 #2
“I did,” Darcy agreed, his memories somewhat less pleasant.
He had dismissed Elizabeth from the moment they had met—earlier in truth, because Lord Halsley had referred to her as his sister-in-law’s companion, and he had taken it to mean a paid companion.
Even when presented with evidence that she was not, he had refused to believe it.
Bramwell spoke on, sharing reflections from their sojourn in Ireland, and Darcy half listened while he returned to his favourite subject of contemplation: Elizabeth and the future they might have together.
At present, it seemed to him that he must have been at least half in love with her by the time they parted ways in Dublin.
It might be why he had blundered so badly.
Unconsciously, he had known she was important to him, but he had not wanted her to be.
Thus, he had exaggerated the differences between them, assuring himself it was irrational to feel what he did, which would naturally lead to him no longer feeling it.
How stupid he had been! He hoped he would be able to earn her forgiveness and win her love.
Quietly watching his cousin, he thought, He is standing up for what he wants, despite knowing the earl and countess are not pleased and people might call him a fool for giving up the chance to marry a lady with better connexions and a greater fortune.
He is doing what is right for him, what will bring him happiness.
Both of them had been taught that it was their duty to marry well, by which their parents meant ladies that would benefit the family.
In choosing Rebecca and Elizabeth, Darcy saw that they were doing that, even though it was not in the same manner their parents had imagined.
If his father and mother were alive, they might raise objections to his choice of wife, but once they knew her, they would understand the many ways she was perfect for him and for the role of mistress of Pemberley.
I can no longer deny what I desire, he decided.
As soon as he saw a sign that she returned his love, Darcy was determined that he would find a way to reconcile his relations to their union.
In the end, their opinions would not sway his decision, but he would prefer not to be at odds with any of them, if it could be helped.
At the moment, he did not believe Elizabeth’s sentiments were as serious as his were, for which he blamed only himself; if he had been kinder, more amiable in Ireland, their present situation might be different.
Given this, why would he announce to his aunts and uncles, even his cousins, that he wished to marry Elizabeth?
Until he was certain their union was a possibility, there was no good reason.
And, as unthinkable as it was, if she never learnt to look upon him as a man she would marry, he would prefer to keep his heartbreak private.
Bramwell’s circumstances had been more pressing; the earl and countess had been urging him to settle things with Lady Cassandra.
No one was rushing Darcy to the altar, because everyone’s attention was on Rebecca and Bramwell.
“You are distracted today,” Bramwell said, once again pulling Darcy from his reflections. “Why? Have you heard a word I said these last five minutes?”
Darcy scratched his chin. “I apologise. I was…”
“Please avoid making an excuse. You have wounded me by showing my company is fatiguing. I could not take another blow.”
Darcy rolled his eyes. “You know you are not as amusing as you believe you are?”
Bramwell shrugged. “As long as Rebecca likes being with me, what do I care what you or anyone else thinks? I asked if Mr and Mrs Darcy have said anything to you about me. You know my mother and your aunt have called on each other, do you not? I believe my dear mama was with her just yesterday.”
Darcy shook his head. “Other than assuring my aunt you would be a good husband to Rebecca, we have not spoken of the matter.”
Bramwell let out a heavy breath and nodded. “It could be worse, I suppose. I know the earl and countess are not exactly delighted by my choice, but they like Rebecca well enough. Eventually, they will embrace her as a daughter-in-law. And I think I am making progress with her.”
As Bramwell went on, Darcy again gave part of his attention to his own life.
He agreed that Lord and Lady Romsley would reconcile themselves to their son marrying Rebecca—supposing she accepted his proposal when he made it.
At the moment, they were still coming to terms with it.
That added to Darcy’s decision to keep quiet about his interest in Elizabeth.
Why would he cause further upset by announcing he had chosen her?
It would be another matter if he were being pressed to propose to Anne or if Elizabeth was soon leaving town and he either needed to find a way to convince her to remain in London or follow her wherever she went, be it Hertfordshire or elsewhere with Mrs Ryde.
From what he had heard, she would remain in London until close to Christmas, more than a month away.
“Bramwell,” Darcy said, interrupting his cousin’s steady stream of words, “I suspect Rebecca needs assurance that your intentions are honourable. Once she accepts it, I anticipate you will succeed in winning her regard.”
“Is that your way of telling me to stop talking about her?” his cousin said.
In lieu of responding verbally, Darcy arched his brow, silently asking if he knew how annoying it was to listen to him going on and on about his love affair.
“Oh, very well,” the viscount said. “So, when do you think we should go to the museum? We must invite Miss Strachan and my brother, of course. Will Georgiana want to come, or is she too occupied with young lady things? I suppose you would find it particularly suitable if she and Miss Bennet became friends, although if your sister was there, it would likely lessen how much the two of you could talk about history or a similar subject most of us find only slightly interesting.”
Again, Darcy overlooked his cousin’s hint regarding Elizabeth. They made plans for the excursion, and he said he would discuss it with Georgiana and call on Mrs Ryde and Elizabeth to issue the invitation himself. Bramwell chuckled, until Darcy kicked his foot.
“Very well,” his cousin said. “But one day, we shall talk about it. You know to what I refer. Do not pretend otherwise. I shall speak to Rebecca about the museum and ask that she inform Miss Strachan. I should see my brother later today. I will tell him then. What fun we shall have!”