Chapter 30
Elizabeth went for a long, solitary walk.
Being in the country again was wonderful, and where better would she be herself again than with her family?
Already, the events of her time in London were taking on a dream-like form, although she was not foolish enough to believe that would continue, not so soon.
But one day, she would forgive herself for having thought better of Mr Darcy than he deserved.
From him, she had learnt to place more trust in her first impressions of people.
While acknowledging he was not as terrible as she had believed when they were in Ireland—he could be generous and amiable—it had been wrong to suppose he was not arrogant.
It was a valuable lesson and one she would not forget.
“There,” she said as she stood, leaning against a birch and watching a group of cattle grazing in a field.
“I have talked myself into despising him a little less than I did last night, even this morning. That will be helpful, should we meet.” She supposed they would, eventually, not only because of Jane’s impending marriage but also because she refused to give up her friendships with Rebecca and Marian.
“I must write to them. If not today, and I doubt there will be time, then tomorrow. They will be alarmed by my sudden departure. But what should I say?” They would understand as soon as Mr Darcy and Miss de Bourgh announced their betrothal.
The lady’s mother would see that it was soon, if it had not already been done.
After the way Lady Catherine was speaking at the ball, no doubt, most of the guests were anticipating it.
As she continued to watch the great beasts and allowed the stillness of the country to ease her sorrow, Elizabeth wondered if she had misunderstood him entirely.
“He might have grown to care for me, even if he decided to…I do not know what. Take the easiest path and do what his family expected? Decide the material benefits were more important than those of affection?”
A thin voice in the back of her mind suggested she should have spoken to him before leaving town, but she thrust it aside.
His demeanour, the way he had avoided even meeting her eye at the ball—let alone dancing with Miss de Bourgh instead of her—were enough to tell her he regretted their former familiarity.
Eventually, one of her friends would write to her with news of the gentleman or Mr Bingley would speak of him.
One way or another, Mr Darcy was not gone from her life.
“But when we meet again, it will be as indifferent acquaintances, just as I believed us to be when we saw each other in October.”
Returning to Longbourn, Elizabeth remained out of doors while sending a servant to inform Jane she was there.
Before she had embarked on her excursion, Jane had told her to do so, saying, “I cannot walk as far as you will want to go today. But we might stroll in the gardens together and speak privately.” It was usually almost impossible to find a quiet spot in the house, and it would be worse today, since Elizabeth had just returned home.
Jane soon joined her, and they ambled sedately, Elizabeth noticing signs of autumn all about her, just as she had earlier.
Everything was so different from what it had been when she had left for London in September, and she did not mean just in the natural world.
Chief amongst these changes was Jane’s situation.
“I can hardly believe you are engaged to a man I have not even met!” Elizabeth said. “I have been attempting to recall everything you, my mother, and my sisters wrote about him.” She laughed. “I ought not to say sisters. As you might guess, only Mary wrote to me, and then only twice.”
Jane chuckled. “Kitty and Lydia have never been very good about writing letters, and with the militia here, they have little time for anything other than amusing themselves.”
“I would tease you about implying I am not amusing enough for them, but I shall not. I would rather you tell me about Mr Bingley and his proposal. Was it everything you dreamt it would be? When shall I meet him? He must have a good reason not to be here. If he does not, I am afraid I shall not be able to like him for neglecting you the day after you made him the happiest man in the world.”
Jane blushed. “I hope I have made him as happy as he has made me. But yes, he does have an excellent excuse. He is not in Hertfordshire. There is some pressing matter of business he had to attend to in town, and he decided to see to it at once. He had always intended to go after the ball, and I encouraged him not to change his arrangements. You might recall from my last letter that his sisters and brother-in-law were here for several weeks. That is what made the ball possible. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst wished to return to London as soon as possible and had settled on this morning, and he went with them. I imagine they were gone before breakfast. Likely, you passed them on the road.”
It was a coincidence, but not interesting enough to dwell on.
“What did you think of his sisters? Will you be friends? Do they know he proposed?” The Hursts and Miss Bingley had been pointed out to her at one event or another in London, but she had never been introduced to them.
Neither Rebecca nor Marian thought highly of them.
Not that she would tell Jane that, since the ladies would be her new sisters.
“I suppose Mr Bingley will inform his family of our engagement.” When she said no more, Elizabeth repeated her question, and Jane’s blush deepened.
“I hope we shall become friends. They, including Mr Hurst, did not seem at all pleased by the neighbourhood and would like him to give up Netherfield. I believe they would prefer he marry one of their friends.”
Given her own situation, Elizabeth took that to mean a lady with more wealth and social position than she and her sisters possessed. Fortunately for Jane, her Mr Bingley had remained constant and made a disinterested choice.
Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Jane’s and closed the distance between them as they continued to walk. “They are fools if they cannot see what a wonderful sister they are gaining. When does Mr Bingley return? I am anxious to meet him.”
Jane gifted her a bright smile that combined her thanks for the compliment and joy at the prospect of seeing the man she loved again. “He said he would need two or three days. Naturally, I very much hope it is two and not three!”
They shared a laugh, after which Jane insisted Elizabeth tell her about her time in town.
“My mother and sisters will ask you endless questions at dinner this evening, but we both know there are things you will not share with them, perhaps including why you really decided to come home without telling us that you were.”
Elizabeth avoided the last subject and did her best not to mention Mr Darcy, yet the sisters easily managed to occupy the half an hour they remained in the gardens in talking over the past two months.
Darcy spoke to Georgiana after returning from his call on Mrs Ryde and stroll through the park.
Having decided on a course of action, he was somewhat more optimistic, although he anticipated the days ahead would bring discord and challenges.
Not only must he have a difficult conversation with his relations, he had to convince Elizabeth he understood how he had failed her and that he would not do so again.
He liked to think he was honourable and mature enough to admit when he was at fault, but what man likes to humble himself?
But for her, I would do it a thousand times over.
Sitting in a sunny parlour, Darcy told his sister that he hoped to marry Elizabeth. “It will mean disappointing some of our family, and I cannot say how they will react.”
Her blue eyes wide, Georgiana said, “Do you mean Lady Catherine? She does so want you to choose Anne.”
“She expects me to, you mean. And yes, I anticipate she will be rather…vocal about her disapproval. From a prudent standpoint, Miss Bennet is not the best match for me.”
“But she is lovely!” Georgiana interjected. She lowered her chin and immediately apologised for interrupting him.
Darcy kissed her hand. “I am glad you like her.”
“Oh, I do! She has been so kind to me, despite how I treated her, and I consider myself fortunate to have her as a friend. I know that Rebecca does too, and our cousins Bramwell and Fitzwilliam both like her.” She bit her lip and observed him for a brief moment before asking, “H-has something happened, Brother?”
He took a deep breath before explaining some of the events of the previous day; she blanched.
“She must have felt dreadful,” Georgiana said when he was done, adding hastily, “I do not blame you. Lady Catherine is…forceful, and I know what it is like when one has a megrim. It is difficult to think properly. Miss Bennet will understand when you tell her how it happened. I would be very glad to have her as a sister. Please tell her that, if you think it will help.”
Smiling at her, he said, “I shall.”
They spoke about his intentions to have a serious conversation with Lady Catherine and the earl and countess that day before going to Hertfordshire on the morrow, and he sent her back to Mrs Annesley.
A short while later, as he was writing a letter to the steward at Pemberley—a task he could not put off until after he dealt with his personal situation—the butler came to tell him that he had a caller: Bingley.
Going into the drawing room where the butler had left his friend, Darcy said, “I had no notion of seeing you.”
Bingley laughed. “I know I did not inform you I had business in town, but I was not sure exactly when I would come. My sisters insisted on leaving Netherfield as soon as possible. We had a ball yesterday, you know, which Caroline was not overly pleased with. Not the ball itself, which was excellent, but having to make the arrangements. I tried to convince her and Louisa that we should remain where we were until later this week, but they could not bear to be there, or had friends here they had to see without delay, or I do not know what. In any case, here I am, but only for two or three days. I thought we might do something together. Dinner or go to the club.”
Darcy was about to respond when Bingley suddenly sat up straighter and grinned. “Oh, and I am engaged!” He laughed. “I proposed to Jane last night. I thought about waiting a while longer and doing the thing in a quieter manner, meaning not in a crowded ballroom, but I could not.”
“Did she accept?” Darcy asked, good humour momentarily replacing his sombre mood.
“Did I not say?” Bingley shrugged. “She did, and I spoke to Mr Bennet immediately, and there you have it. I shall soon be a married man. But do not ask me when exactly, because we have not settled those details. My sisters and Hurst believe I should have chosen a lady who is rich and from our circle in town. You know what I mean. But I always remember what you told me in September, that I should decide for myself what will make me happy. Best advice I have ever been given.”
“I congratulate you, Bingley, and I look forward to meeting your betrothed.”
Again, Bingley laughed. “It seems strange to call her that, and to think that I have found the perfect lady for me. I knew I had the night we met. I cannot describe the sensation, but one day, you will know what I mean. The absolute certainty that a lady is the one you are meant to spend your life with.” His expression softened, and he sighed contentedly.
Darcy understood better than Bingley knew, but he had no intention of discussing Elizabeth at present.
Instead, he said, “Your being here is a coincidence, and I am glad to know you are. I was planning to go to Hertfordshire tomorrow, trusting you meant it when you said I would be welcome at any time.”
Bingley gaped. “You were? Of course I meant it! But why?” He waved a hand as though brushing something away.
“Forget I asked the last question. It does not matter.” He leant forwards and spoke eagerly.
“Tomorrow? What an excellent notion. I was thinking I would return the day after tomorrow, but I would much rather go sooner. I hate to be separated from Jane, but she encouraged me to come so that I might get my business completed and we would not need to be separated again before we are wed. You must come with me. You will, will you not?”
Darcy agreed. Part of him thought he should enquire if it was a convenient time, but his reason for being in Hertfordshire was too important to risk receiving a hint that it was not. But Bingley, affable and generous, would never turn away a friend.
Without returning to the matter of why Darcy had decided to visit his country estate at this time—after putting him off for weeks—Bingley stood and announced that he would go.
“I will accomplish everything I possibly can today, which means I must start at once. Then we shall leave in the morning. Oh, but I am being rude! I have only just arrived.”
“Go,” Darcy said. “I have several matters I must attend to as well, including calling on my relations. If you had arrived half an hour later, I would not have been here.”
A moment later, Bingley was gone. Even a short interlude with his friend had improved Darcy’s mood.
He was still anxious about resolving the issue of his future, to be sure, but he knew he was meant to be with Elizabeth, that it was always how his life was meant to be, thus how it would unfold—so long as he worked to attain it.
That his good friend was marrying her dearest sister added to his conviction that he must make right what his actions had broken.
“What a happy life we shall have, one surrounded by people we love and who love us,” he said softly into the empty room. “But most of all, we shall have each other. Despite this misunderstanding, it will all end well. I will ensure it does.”