Chapter 15
His face was white and pale with strain as he stood next to the cot where the doctor was doing her examination. She was three months pregnant, and they had been lulled into complacency because it was going so well.
She had agreed to go in three times a week as a compromise to Hayes and he had been true to his promise by having her pick a room and calling in the decorators.
But she had started spotting again, and this time more heavily. He did not have to guess what the doctor was going to say.
"I cannot lose my baby. I won't." Camelia told her fiercely, her hand gripping his. "Please don't tell me I am."
Dr. Henson snapped off the rubber gloves and dumped them in the recycle, a slight frown on her brow. "I am going to have to put you on complete bed rest."
Camelia jumped at that. "Then I am not miscarrying?"
"There is still a chance that you might. Hence the decision to put you on bed rest."
"For how long?"
"Does it matter?" Hayes interjected impatiently. "I begged you to stop going into the office, and you didn't listen." he closed his eyes briefly at the stricken look on her face. "I apologize–"
"You are right. I did not listen, but I am listening now." She looked up at the doctor. "However long it takes. We are supposed to be getting married."
"I am afraid that will have to wait, unless it's a small ceremony with just family present. Let's say two weeks and go from there. I am going to perform a small procedure to ensure I hedge my bet."
"When?" Hayes asked.
"Now. It's not going to take long. Just in, and out and after a few minutes, you will be able to go home to your own bed."
Camelia's fingers tightened on his as she nodded. "Let's do it."
*****
"You don't have to say," Cameli told him quietly. "I promise not to move a muscle. Your mother is here, and you have tons of household staff at my beck and call. I am going to stay as still as possible, except when I have to use the bathroom. I am sorry Hayes."
"Stop apologizing." Sighing softly, he sat at her hip and took her hand in his. "I know how difficult it is for you to stay still. You were always one to be up and about. I respect that about you, but we need this pregnancy, and we will have to work together to make this happen."
"I know." She squeezed his hand. "I am willing to do anything to bring our baby into the world. Anything. And if it means laying here on my back for however long it takes, then I am prepared to do so."
Lifting her hand, he kissed it gently. "So am I. And today, I am staying."
"Hayes–"
He shook his head. "My mind is made up,” he told her firmly. "I am going to ring down for something to eat. I am assuming you are hungry?"
"Not yet. I need to talk to you about something else."
"I am listening."
"I want us to get married."
"You heard what the doctor said. I want us to get married too, but we can wait."
"We could get married here. In the Great Hall. Just us, your mother and my aunt. I want to be your wife more than anything else in the world.
We could stick to the New Year wedding date and get married. I swear to you that I am not going to lift a finger except to order my dress. And speaking of getting married, I am unofficially engaged to you because I am not wearing a ring." She looked pointedly at her bare left hand.
"Something I am about to remedy," he told her softly. "And yes, I think we should get married. I wanted a lavish ceremony to put the wagging tongues at rest."
"We could take pictures as proof and give Celeste the first scoop; she would be over the moon about that."
"You know I would love nothing more than to marry you,” he stated, still hesitant. He had been scared when he received the call which had pulled him out of a meeting to rush to the doctor.
He was supposed to be traveling, but he was afraid that as soon as he left, something would happen and secretly, he did not want to leave for fear that she was going to leave again. The awful insecurity was not him, and it was driving him crazy.
"Then say yes."
"I adore you."
She gave him a puzzled look, feeling the tension in his fingers.
"I know. Hayes–"
"Marrying you means that you would think twice about leaving me." He knew it was a mistake as soon as the words were uttered. It was confirmed when she drew her hand away and shifted. "I meant–"
"I know what you meant." Her tone was cool, and he watched with a sinking heart as she drew further away and propped herself up on the pillows.
"I am getting tired of the insecurities. I am not going to spend the rest of my damn life apologizing for leaving. I am here now, and I have told you countless times that I am not going anywhere. I am carrying your baby! What more do you want?"
"You shouldn't get upset. The doctor–"
"I will get upset if I damn well feel like it," she told him, dark brown eyes flashing. "What is it going to take to make you forgive me and allow us to move on?"
Sliding off the bed, he strode over to the wall, nestled next to the large fireplace, and jabbed at a button. When the cabinet whooshed out silently, he carefully selected a bottle of scotch, pouring some into a glass before turning to look at her. "I would offer you some, but it's not allowed." Lifting the glass to his lips, he took a sip.
"When you left, you destroyed something inside me. I felt my heart breaking into tiny pieces, and when I went looking for you, I was maddened to the point where I could barely function." Shrugging one broad shoulder, he took another sip.
"I was not used to that kind of thing. I guess you could say that I was a player. I had fun with girls, and I loved sex—the physical aspect of it fascinated me. Women fascinated me, and I could not get enough. It made it much easier because I did not have to do the chasing.
Then I met you." he smiled grimly. "You weren't my type. I had been with black girls before, but they were all of a certain weight. But there was something about you that I could not forget, could not ignore, and I found myself getting more and more intrigued and drawn."
Finishing the drink, he turned to pour some more and took it with him to the sofa across from the bed. Green eyes wandered over her face, and he felt the familiar pull of intense desire that happened every time he looked at her or even when she was near.
"When I first touched you, I knew without a doubt that I would never be the same again. And I was right.
The more time I spent with you, the more I realized the potent effect you have on me." Leaning back in the chair, he stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankles. "When I made love to you, it sealed it for me. I bought a ring." His voice dropped hoarsely. "An exquisite square-cut diamond that took up all of my allowances.
I wanted to marry you so badly that I dreamed about it. I had plans–" Tossing back the drink, he slammed the glass down. "So, forgive me if I am having a hard time trying to let go of what happened. That I question your every move. That I wonder if you are going to leave–"
"Stop it!" she cried. The tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she felt as if her heart was burning a hole inside her chest. Every word he said to her had felt as if a knife was stabbing into her skin. "Please, I cannot bear it."
Shaking his head, he stumbled to his feet, staring at the woman in his bed. "I am sorry," he whispered hoarsely.
"No." She shook her head. "I did this to you, I should–"
"It's over."
"It's not. Please come here."
He stared at the outstretched hand as if seeing it for the first time. But he knew he had to get control of his emotions before he could go to her.
"No." His smile was a little shaky. "I need some air. I will order something to be sent up. I promise that I will just be a minute."
Before she could say anything, he strode swiftly from the room and slammed the doors shut behind him.
Camelia stared in the direction he had taken blindly for a minute, the tears still falling. Lifting a hand, she wiped the tears away. She knew it was going to take time for them to get past the incredible hurt and pain.
Pressing a hand to her stomach, she tried to control the riotous emotions tumbling around inside her. They were going to have to talk this thing through, or every single time, it was going to rear its ugly head and spoil things between them.
*****
He went for a drive to clear his head after leaving instructions for the kitchen to send up some soup and toast for her. He had also left instructions with one of the maids to keep an eye on her. He really should not have left, but he was so overcome that he had to leave.
He knew he was being unreasonable, but he could not seem to be able to help himself. Could not seem to stop. He had taken the red sports car and turned on the patch of dirt road that led to an old, abandoned building. Shoving the lever into Park, he killed the engine and reached for his phone.
"Mother, where are you?"
"Just pulled into the driveway. The luncheon went on forever, and I have to admit that I was tempted to just leave. How is Camelia?"
"I left her at the house. Can you–" He leaned his head back and closed his eyes briefly. "Will you check in on her? I am on the road, I just needed to get some air."
"Darling, is everything all right?"
"No," he rasped. "I might have said some things. I am such a damn mess, that I cannot– each time I open my mouth is to go back to the past. I cannot seem to fight my way out of it."
"Darling, it is going to take time."
"She wants us to get married in an intimate ceremony at the house."
"I think that's a lovely idea. And she doesn't have to do a thing. I can handle all the arrangements."
"I wanted something to show the world that it does not matter what happened in the past. That we have moved on from the awful tragedy. I wanted to give her something lavish, something she could have inside her memory to replace what is there.
She thinks about it. I can see the sadness on her face, and it kills me. Mother, I am hovering. I am becoming too clingy, and I don't know how to stop."
"Listen to me darling," she urged. "What the two of you went through was tremendous, something awful and I doubt I would be able to stand after going through something like that. It is going to take time. You have to give yourselves time to get through it."
"I know. Just take care of her for me until I get back, will you?"
"Of course."
Hanging up, he threw the phone on the passenger seat and sat there staring off into the wooded area.
*****
"The maid said you ate everything." Hillary bustled into the room with a smile on her lips. "It means that you are feeling much better." She noticed the tears spiking the girl's lashes and did not comment.
"Where is he?" she asked quietly.
Plucking the tray from her lap, Hillary put it away, sitting down on a chair next to the bed. "Out to clear his head. He's hurting."
"He is obsessing." She shook her head. "I really should not be discussing this with you–"
"You should be talking it over with my son. You both have some serious issues to iron out. He told me about the plans for the wedding."
"A small ceremony with just close family members. He doesn't believe that I am here to stay."
"Give him some time," Hillary assured her. "In time, he will come to realize that you want to be with him. He knows you love him, but it's taking time to sink in. Now, my dear, let's discuss what you would like for the ceremony."
*****
Her eyes flickered open when she felt the side of the bed depressed.
"I must have fallen asleep." She drowsily turned to him. "You are cold."
"It started raining just as I stepped out of the car." His eyes searched for her face. "I am sorry I ran out."
"Are we okay now?"
He nodded, using the tips of his fingers to push back the hairs from her forehead. "We should talk."
"We should," she agreed. "But first I must tell you that the plans for the wedding are underway. Your mother is seeing to everything. A very small ceremony and I already called Monique about my dress."
Putting her hand on his bare chest, she gave him an intriguing look. "I am here Hayes. You said you felt something when we first met, and it's the same thing for me. We have a bond that has forged us together over the years, one that will never be broken."
He placed his hand over hers and squeezed. "I am an idiot who is intent on driving you away," he murmured huskily. "Fear is very powerful and can be equally dangerous. But I am trying."
"We will get through this together," she whispered. "Because you are stuck with me, and I love it. Do you understand?"
He nodded again. "I think it's time we get some things off our chests and clear the air," he said solemnly.
And they did. They spoke for hours and when they were through, he held her in his arms as she fell asleep. But it took a few minutes for him to follow her. The conversation had cleared some things up, but he was afraid he was going to mess things up again. He loved her so much, that it literally takes his breath away.
Pressing a tender kiss on her forehead, he closed his eyes and drifted off.
*****
"Darling, you look so handsome." Hillary entered the room in a swirl of lilac, the gown cinched in at the waist and the skirt floating around her legs. Her blonde hair was twisted into an elegant chignon at the nape of her neck and diamonds were at her lobes.
Turning away from the mirror where he had been adjusting his bow tie, he smiled at her.
"I left Angela in the room with your bride. I peeped in on her a few minutes ago while Frank was fixing her hair and makeup, and she looks exquisite."
"I always knew that." He stood still as she reached up and fiddled with the tie. It had been three weeks since he was intimate with her, and even though it was torture to be so near to her and not able to do anything about it, he still could not bear the thought of staying away.
Last night, he had slept in one of the guest rooms and it had been the longest night of his life. The doctor had cleared her a few days ago, but he was not taking any chances. Tonight, however, was going to be different. It would be his wedding night, and he had every intention of making love with his wife. He could not wait.
"Mother?" Stirring from his thoughts, he noticed that her eyes were bright with tears.
"I apologize, darling," she said with a sniff. "But I wish your father was here to see this very momentous occasion. He would have been so happy and proud of you." Leaning up, she kissed his cheek fondly. "I love you and I know you and Camelia are going to be very happy together."
"My sentiments exactly.” With a boyish grin, he offered his arm. "Let's get married."
*****
His first sight of the woman who had enthralled him as a girl and snared his heart caught his breath and for a second, he could not breathe. The dress was a champagne-colored wool and clung to every lush curve of her body.
Her stomach was still flat, even though she was heading into three months, and the pregnancy had increased the size of her breasts, leaving the flesh almost spilling out of her bodice.
Diamonds, a gift from him, shone at her lobes and around her neck. Her thick dark brown hair was loose around her face and secured by a jeweled comb at the left.
Her dazzling smile, exposing her lovely dimples, left him dazed and his heart beating fast and hard inside his chest.
The hall had been lavishly decorated with pink and blue ribbons and chairs had been set up to accommodate the few guests.
Walking the few steps, he met her halfway and took her hand and lifted it to his lips. "You are by far the most beautiful bride I have ever seen," he whispered. "I can't believe you are mine."
"Believe it," she whispered back.
Tucking her hand through his arm, he led her toward the makeshift dais. Handing the bouquet of Calla Lily and red and pink roses to her aunt, she turned with a smile as the beaming cleric started the ceremony.
Hayes' eyes held hers as they repeated their vows and could feel the intensity of the moment almost overwhelmed him. Then it was time for him to slide the stunning diamond rings on her finger, sealing their bonds as husband and wife for always.
"Now you, my dear," the man said as he turned toward her.
Taking the ring she had carefully chosen, she held his gaze as she slid the gold and diamond on, her fingers pressing over the circle. For a minute, they stood there absorbing the moment until they were pronounced husband and wife.
"You may kiss your bride."
Drawing her into his arms gently, he tilted her chin up, he brushed his lips lightly, feeling the tremors starting in her body. When she started reaching for him, he eased back, a smile touching his lips. "Later darling," he whispered.
"How is the pregnancy?" Celeste asked her curiously as she helped herself to a slice of the pink champagne cake.
"Very well, and we are still not telling people," Camelia warned. "If you go ahead and print–"
"Darling, relax. You invited me to the wedding and the photographer got some perfect shots. You make a stunning bride, by the way.
This is going on the front page of the magazine, and the sweet story of teen sweethearts reunited after twelve years will tug at the heart." She patted Camelia's hand. "I cannot believe you are still going to be working at the magazine."
"Hayes and I came to an agreement," she told the woman with a smile. "Completely remote until I decide if I am coming back in or doing just remotely from now on."
"I am satisfied with anything I can get. Thank you."
She was cornered by her aunt who had been waiting to speak to her. Guiding her toward one of the pale pink velvet chairs, she sat and waited for her niece to do the same. "I am proud of you," Angela told her solemnly. Looking over at Hayes who was conversing with his mother, she shook her head in wonder.
"I never dreamed that bringing you back here was the sensible thing to do. But it was. Now you are married to the same boy you fell in love with when you were a teenager." She patted her niece's hand. "And very soon, you are going to have a baby."
"It feels like I am dreaming," Camelia admitted, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I never thought we would end up together, not after what happened between us."
"You deserve some happiness after what you have been through."