Chapter 1
Exhaustion tugged at Devyn as she trudged up the front stairs of her childhood home. Her parents’ house had always been her safe place, and though she was tired as hell, she was excited to have dinner with them and catch up with them.
Without knocking, she let herself in and took a deep breath. It smelled like home and some good cooking. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since that morning when she left her house.
With a sigh, she slipped her heels off and made her way through the large first floor of the home. The carpeted floors looked like they’d just been vacuumed. Devyn noted the toys scattered through the living room as she passed it. A small smile tugged at her lips as she shook her head.
As soon as she made it to the kitchen, a tiny force clung to her leg. This time, Devyn allowed a full smile to grace her face as she looked down at her two-year-old daughter, Hazel.
“Hey, mama’s baby.” Devyn stroked her silky hair that was wild and all over her head—exactly how she didn’t drop her off. “What happened to your hair?”
“Mama,” Hazel said as she reached her arms up.
Devyn’s heart soared every time she heard Hazel call her Mama. Without hesitation, she picked Hazel up and propped her on her hip.
“You know that lil girl knows how to terrorize a damn house. With that comes crazy hair.” Devyn’s mom, Melanie, shrugged as she walked by and kissed Devyn on the cheek before she proceeded to the oven to take a dish out.
“Hey, now. Not too much on my grandbaby. She’s no mini terrorist. She’s just a curious little angel. Isn’t that right, Hazel?”
“I ah angel, Pop Pop,” Hazel said with her face cracked into a big ass smile.
“That’s right.” Robert, Devyn’s father, nodded as he grinned right back at his granddaughter.
“Just spoiled rotten,” Devyn mumbled, but a smile still played on her lips.
Hazel was just like her in that she was spoiled as hell and could get whatever she wanted out of Melanie and Robert Frost. That physical resemblance, though, . . . that was all her father.
Haze.
A pang of guilt hit her chest, just like it always did when she thought about the man who had her acting like she didn’t have any damn sense for that short period of time.
Her mind wandered to that night, and her heart grew heavy. Never in a million years did she think she would go from getting the best dick of her life to seeing her best friend with a bullet hole in her stomach.
Emilia was the sweetest out of the trio.
Koren loved hard but was spoiled and had a big personality with even bigger opinions.
Devyn could be a bitch when she was out of her comfort zone.
But Emilia? She was always laid-back and down for her friends .
. . period. She never switched up, and that night, Devyn thought she’d lost her.
Koren and Devyn were able to get her to the hospital. Surgery took forever, but Emilia made it out on the other side alive. She just had to live the rest of her life with a colostomy bag.
That night had terrified her, and she realized no matter how much she liked Haze, she couldn’t seek him out.
The life he lived was clearly dangerous.
She felt danger pouring from his pores when she first laid eyes on him.
There was no way she could continue to ignore it after what happened to her friend.
Imagine her surprise when a few weeks later, she turned up pregnant.
Devyn wasn’t the type to pop pussy often, so she knew without a doubt it was Haze’s baby. She contemplated for a really long time about getting an abortion, but something in her caused her to panic and have meltdowns when she thought about it too long.
Looking at Hazel now, she knew she had made the right choice by having her.
What still felt unsettled in her heart was not telling Haze about his daughter.
She knew she could find him. All she had to do was go to that same house, with the big ass garage holding millions of dollars’ worth of motorcycles and ask for him.
It had been three years, and she still couldn’t bring herself to do it. Hazel’s safety meant the most to her. The kind of people Haze clearly hung around, the kind of person he was, . . . it wasn’t a life for her child.
That was what she kept telling herself anyway.
“Where did your mind just go?” Melanie asked from the stove where she stirred a pot.
Devyn shook her head. Her parents knew about Haze because they wanted to know why Devyn felt the need to keep Hazel away from her father.
Neither of them was really on board with her reasoning, and they would say so anytime they came even remotely close to the topic of him.
But they didn’t get it. They weren’t there to see her friend bleeding out and almost dying because they were at a party he hosted.
To distract herself, she kissed Hazel on the cheek and then responded to her mother. “Nowhere, Mama. It smells good in here.”
Melanie beamed. “I been craving catfish. Made some greens and mac and cheese too.”
Devyn’s mouth watered. Her mama was hands down the best cook. Devyn knew how to do a little something in the kitchen, too, but her mama could throw down.
“Can’t wait to eat,” Devyn replied.
“Long day?” Robert asked.
Devyn nodded. “The longest.”
“I know that look. Are you sure taking over the dealership isn’t too much on you? I can always step back in if you want—”
“Daddy, no,” Devyn whined.
“No is right. You retired six months ago, Robert. You’ll do good to remember that. I refuse to go back to the way it used to be. If Devyn needs help, she can hire another manager to delegate,” Melanie said through gritted teeth.
Devyn didn’t blame her. Being the head of a dealership was no joke.
She’d prepared for it her entire life, but nothing could have prepped her for what it was really like.
Still, she absolutely loved her job and wouldn’t give it up.
Her father was just a worrywart, which she also understood.
He was the only person who knew what it was like being in her position.
Robert threw his hands up. “Okay, okay. I’m just saying, she’s a single mother, Mel. This can’t be easy on her.”
“Last I checked, it was her choice to be a single mother.” Melanie eyed her daughter.
Devyn’s cheeks burned. “On that note, I’m going to go wash my hands.”
She kissed Hazel again and put her down.
Her baby went straight to her pop pop, while Devyn left the kitchen.
She loved her parents dearly, but they could be a bit overbearing sometimes.
They were open and honest with each other, which left a lot of room for judgment.
Loving judgment, but judgment all the same.
While she washed her hands in the downstairs bathroom, she looked at herself in the mirror.
Despite her exhaustion, her brown skin glowed.
Though she didn’t have a whole lot of time to get her hair and nails done anymore, she still made sure she had a standing maintenance appointment once a month to make sure she still kept herself looking good.
Her shoulder-length hair was straightened and silky.
Her juicy lips were lined with brown lip liner and covered in gloss.
She made sure she showed up to work every day looking not only professional but also fine as hell.
She took great pride in her appearance, and she knew she looked good wherever she went.
She tried to smile at herself in the mirror after she dried her hands, but her round face seemed to fall flat instead. With a sigh, she made her way back to the kitchen. When she noticed her family was no longer in there, she walked through the door to the dining room.
When she sat next to her father, who held Hazel in his lap, Robert leaned over to her and whispered, “You okay, pumpkin?”
Devyn nodded. “Peachy.”
Hazel leaned over, just like her grandfather had just done, and whispered loudly, “Okay, Mommy?”
Only Hazel could pull a genuine smile out of her in moments like these. “I’m good, baby. Ready to eat?”
“I know I am,” Melanie chimed in.
“Me too,” Devyn agreed.
Robert prayed over the food, and they immediately passed dish after dish around the table. It was silent for a while as everyone ate. It was a nice change to Devyn’s chaotic day. She found peace in quiet nuggets of time, but of course, they never lasted.
“Hazel said something funny today,” Melanie mentioned from across the table.
Devyn’s smile was automatic. Hazel was one funny kid, and she could only imagine what came out of her mouth in her absence. “What she say?”
“I showed her an old photo album, and when we got to the picture of you at prom, she asked if the young man with you was her daddy. Pointed her little finger at him and said, ‘Daddy?’ I think she’s ready for a man in her life, Devyn.”
The smile had been long gone as she listened to her mother speak. Melanie meant well, but this conversation was so tired.
“What was that young boy’s name?” Robert asked. The two of them always fed off each other.
Devyn rolled her eyes. “Steven,” she mumbled as she picked at her food. Suddenly, she was too drained to eat, and all she wanted to do was take her baby home and go to bed.
Robert snapped his fingers. “Steven. That’s right. He was a nice young man.”
“And boring,” Devyn mumbled.
Her entire life was spent being the perfect daughter and walking a straight line.
Now, all she did was work and take care of her daughter.
Koren and Emilia tried their best to get her out of the house, but now that she ran the dealership, it was pretty much impossible.
Staying inside the perfect box her parents carefully crafted for her had always been the goal, so of course they liked boring ass Steven.
This was another reason she was hesitant to find Haze because he would quickly become a part of her family, and he was everything her parents didn’t want for her.
“And how do you know? If I remember correctly, prom was your first and last date with him. Maybe you should look him up online and see what he’s up to now,” Melanie suggested.
“Ma, do you really think I have time to date? You just said how little time Daddy had when he ran the dealership. You really think I can manage a relationship and Hazel?” Devyn tried to keep the frustration out of her tone, but it was hard. Sometimes, the pressure was entirely too much for her.
Her mother’s eyes softened. “I just want you to be happy, baby.”
Devyn continued to move food around on her plate as she whispered, “I am, Mama. I am.”
Both she and her parents knew that was a lie, but unfortunately, her happiness wasn’t her focus at the moment. Her career and Hazel had all her attention, and she wasn’t mad at that. In fact, she counted them as major blessings that she would continue to cultivate for as long as she lived.