Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
Willow
It’s surreal. Sitting around the dinner table with Haze and my brother.
The only thing missing is my dad, but he had other plans tonight.
Heaven knows what that is considering he doesn’t even live in this freaking city.
Tomorrow, I’m going to put some spies on him and find out what he’s really up to.
For some reason, I just don’t buy his good samaritan story.
My father was a great cop, there was nothing dirty about him, but call it a hunch.
I’ve also been doing this for a long time.
Max eats his bowl of chicken stir fry and finishes the leftovers. I kinda forgot he had hollow legs. Haze cooked the chicken separately, then added it to his and Max’s bowls.
The conversation is easy all night, and it reminds me how much Max and Haze get along. Haze has always treated Max like a little brother, and always looked out for him as best he could when we were growing up. I’ll admit, I like having them both around. I’ve missed it.
When Max turns in early, he ruffles my hair and takes off upstairs, claiming he has a hot date tomorrow and needs to get some shuteye. I have no intention of staying the night while he’s here. Not gonna happen.
“I should get going myself,” I say. “I have a big day tomorrow, and I still have some stuff to read through with the Rooftop Killer.”
“Any new leads?”
“A new so-called witness, but her testimony has holes.”
“Shit’s rough.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
He gives me a chin lift. “You doin’ okay in the top job?”
“It’s… different. I have to manage my time better, and organizing is always a challenge. The boys keep me in the loop with everything, and I trust them. In fact, we have an amazing team now.”
Yes, it’s amazing what a cleanout can do.
“The boys?”
“Carl and Luke, my old buddies.”
“They seem like good guys.”
“They’re the best,” I say, meaning every word.
“A lot of shit went down at that station, and we all lived to tell the tale. I can’t say the same for half of them.
It still haunts me to this day. The entire force was under surveillance.
I’m all for it, don’t get me wrong, but I was na?ve, I think.
I always thought crooked cops were few and far between. ”
“That’s because your mind is pure,” he says. “You can’t help it.”
“It’s not that pure.” My tone suggests what I’m referring to, and his eyes darken.
“Are you tryin’ to kill me?”
I shrug. “Not at all, but like I said before, you brought this self imposed bout of celibacy, not me.”
“I thought women wanted all that chivalry crap. Here I am, tryin’ to be a good guy, and you want pepperoni.”
“Honestly? I mean, I get where you’re coming from, but you know everything about me, so the reasons you wanted to wait aren’t that solid.”
He stares at me. “I don’t know everythin’.”
“Try me,” I say. “I’ll ask you a question about me, and you answer. That way we’ll see just how good you are.” This is what a freaking beer does to you — truth serum. I’m such a lightweight, which is why I barely ever drink because verbal diarrhea inevitably follows.
“This is a fun game.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Shoot.”
“Favorite color.”
“Easy, blue. You never were a pink girlie.”
“Shoe size.”
“Five, do you still shop in the kids department?”
I throw a piece of popcorn at his head. “Funny. Favorite show?”
“It was Grey’s Anatomy because you couldn’t stand watchin’ unrealistic cop shows that solve cases in one episode with technology that isn’t even real.”
I blink at him. Okay, well, he may be right on those things. “Favorite number.”
“Twenty-two —it’s your birthday and the same as your basketball team jersey in college. It’s cute they let you play since you can’t reach the net, even when you jump.”
I throw a handful at him this time and he ducks, laughing. I’m making a mess of his couch, but who cares? “You’re a comedian tonight, I’ll have you know I was very good at sports.”
“I remember the tiny shorts and the cheerleading outfits.”
“Of course you do,” I mutter. “Fine, favorite herbal tea, smarty?”
“Now you’re gettin’ weird.” He rubs his chin. “Peppermint when you’re cramping, honey and lemon when you’re sick, blackcurrant and apple—”
I gape at him. “Are you some kind of stalker?” How did he remember all of that from so long ago?
“I also know you hate household chores but do it anyway — that love-hate relationship with the vacuum always made me laugh — you despise loud noises, like motorcycles, and you have a fear of flyin’.”
I poke my tongue out like a child. “For the record, I don’t hate motorcycles, just when you rev the engine unnecessarily. Just ride it like a normal person.”
He bursts out with laughter. “A little hard to not make a noise when it’s a straight pipe.”
“Do not tell me that, they’re illegal on public roads in all fifty states,” I say, pretending to block my ears. Straight pipes are basically modified versions of the exhaust pipe. Loud and downright annoying, not to mention unnecessary.
“What you gonna do, arrest me?”
I know his tone is suggestive, and it goes straight to my core. And now all I’m thinking about is Haze trussed up with my handcuffs behind his back while he’s on his knees begging—he told me he’d fantasized about it. Maybe a bandana or rope around his mouth to shut him up…
“Wouldn’t you enjoy that a little too much?”
He smirks, answering my question.
When the time is right, I wanna make it up to you. Instead of you beggin’ me, I want to be the one beggin’ you. On my knees, crawlin’ to you.
Something shifts inside me. That need for him that’s always pulled me back.
It’s hammering away in my chest, making my blood heat, my palms sweat and my pussy clench.
He’s wrong about waiting. We’ve been waiting long enough.
I know he’s trying to be gallant, but he really doesn’t have to play these games with me.
The only thing that has changed about me?
I got wiser. I know how to play the game better.
However, I don’t wanna play any games with him.
I have enough shit going on at work, and when I come home I don’t want work to get in the way like it did before.
Maybe I haven’t always been the best communicator, but I’m working on it.
I want to see this through. I want to see where we can go, now that we’re both older and we know what we want.
I sure as shit don’t wanna have my heart broken again, but I know deep down that he is the only one for me.
“You know how to get me, don’t you, Little One?”
“I don’t know, Aust. Somewhere along the way, the lines became really blurred.”
His eyes locked on mine, his jaw set, and I know I can’t escape his mirth.
I don’t want to be at his mercy, but this is where I always find myself.
“Not really. I was a fool to let you go. It’s the one big regret of my life, and I know we’ve been over this before, but I truly want you to know how much I regret not fighting for us.
I know now. I’ve always known. Once we separated, and I saw how much you thrived, I realized you seemed better off without me.
” He takes a pause, and looks down, his eyes clouding over.
This isn’t the big bad ass I know. But this is the man I love.
“And it’s not your fault. None of it is your fault.
I’m in charge of my own feelings, and how I responded.
I’m not pushing any of that onto you. It may be water under the bridge, but it’s still somethin’ that plagues me. ”
“What? That you think I’m too good for you?” I shake my head. “You know none of that is true. I wish I’d known that’s how you feel because I would’ve set you straight.” I tilt his chin up, so his gaze meets mine once more. “I never stopped loving you.”
He swallows hard. “You don’t know what it means to me when you say that.”
“It’s all true,” I whisper. “The one thing I could never do was just paint a pretty picture. I never wanted to hurt your feelings as much as you didn’t want to hurt mine. But I think we need to put the past behind us. We know what each of us did, so no good can come from rehashing it.”
“Do we need to pinky swear?” he laughs.
“We already made that marriage pact, remember?”
When I move my fingers to brush over his lips, he kisses my fingertips. “How could I forget?”
“Haze,” I whisper, my senses on fire. “We can’t do this here. Not with Max upstairs, it feels weird.”
“I’ll ask him to watch Crunch,” he says quickly. “We can take it to yours.”
I know I need to be close to him, and I tell him as much. See - you’re getting better at this. Communication. That’s all it is.
I groan. “Then he’s gonna know what we’re up to.”
He chuckles. “Honey, I hate to break it to you — but we’re adults, and we are married.”
I huff. “I know that. But you’re making it really hard for me to take things slow.”
“Technically, I didn’t say that. I said, when you’re ready. I didn’t wanna rush things and ruin it. You know how I have a tendency to do that.” The coy look on his face is so sweet. I want to kiss every nook and cranny of him. I want to bathe in his warmth…
“I’ve been ready forever,” I tell him earnestly. “I love you, Austin. I probably haven’t said it enough, and maybe I’m getting old and sentimental but—” He cuts me off, holding either side of my face as he presses his lips to mine, and I am gone.
The slight stubble of his beard feels like home. The spicy scent of him washes through my veins like a potion, one I’m completely addicted to. One I never want to let go of again.
“I love you, too,” he says, pressing his forehead against mine. “You know I never stopped either.”
Our kiss intensifies and I crawl into his lap, straddling him.
He groans when I rub myself against his hard length, further lighting the fire between us.
“Fuck, baby.” His teeth graze my jaw, sending a thrill right through me.
“You keep rubbin’ that sweet pussy on me, and your brother won’t be the only one in this city who knows what we’re up to down here. ”
“Promises, promises,” I mutter, in between kisses.
He squeezes my ass. “Anyway, I’ve always thought you look hot as fuck on the back of my sled.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “We’re going on your motorcycle?”
He bumps his hips, and I bite down on my bottom lip, barely able to contain my groan. “I’ve fantasized about this day for as long as I can remember,” he says, a sexy glint in his eyes. “You’re my ol’ lady, and you should be on the back of my bike.”
“Next you’re going to say something crazy like you’re going to claim me at the table.”
It’s a biker thing.
He chuckles. “Nah, because we’re already wed, they know you’re mine.”
“I guess that’s a yes then.” He barely lets me finish before revisiting that kiss, his tongue finding its way into my mouth.
We need to get this on the road. Like, now because I can’t wait for one more second to have him the way I want.