Chapter 27
CHAPTER
TWENTY-SEVEN
Willow
“Dad?” I say when he finally picks up. “What the hell happened?”
“What happened is that no good ex-husband of yours took a swing at me,” he barks down the phone. “Apparently, you two are getting back together, and as usual I’m the last one to know.”
“That isn’t true. I was going to tell you.”
“When?” he scoffs. “After he’s rubbed it in my face?”
“I knew you’d react like this, that’s why I hadn’t told you yet, but Haze is right, Dad, we’re giving things another go.”
“You’ve clearly lost your mind,” he mutters. “Just like your mother.”
Anger boils in my veins, making me ball my other hand into a fist. “What is that supposed to mean?”
He sighs. “Just tell me you’re not really going to give that thug another shot.”
“Thug? Dad, don’t even get me started. But what did you mean, just like your mother?
You take no responsibility for anything, do you?
” I may not hear from my mom very often, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t stick up for her.
My dad drove her away, just like he drove us kids away. Not that he’d ever see that.
“Don’t speak to me like that,” he warns.
“Or else what?” I fire back. “Listen closely, because I’m not going to say this again. I love Haze. I always have, always will. We love each other. Things have changed since we broke up. We both know what we want now, and if you can’t accept that, then that’s your loss.”
“Willow,” he sighs. “You’re always so impulsive with that man. You never saw sense when it came to him, and you’re still the same wide-eyed teenager, acting like he’s the only thing that matters.”
“He is the only thing that matters, because unlike you, Haze is kind, patient and loving. He doesn’t show up when he wants something, or to rub things in my face and act like he knows all the answers.”
“Those are perfect examples of exactly why he has his claws in you once again, because he knows you’ll just fall for his bullshit,” he snarks.
I take a breath, trying my best not to scream.
“This is over,” I say, my voice breaking.
“Between us, Dad. You never once let me make my own decisions. You’re here in New Orleans, not to look out for me and have my back, but to hang around in my workplace inventing things to do so you can spy on me and point out all the things I’m doing wrong. ”
There’s a brief pause. “That’s where you’re very wrong about everything. The only reason I’m here is to protect you from things you know nothing about.”
I frown, stopping my pacing for a beat. “What are you talking about?”
“Why don’t you ask your husband, I’m sure he’ll come clean with you about all the lies he’s been keeping.”
“Dad, what lies? Why are you doing this?”
I can just picture him and his smirk because he has something over me. He has no reason to act like this. It’s taking protectiveness and possessiveness to a whole new level.
“I came to New Orleans to help you, and all I get is this thrown in my face and a black eye for my troubles. Haze is reckless, just like Max, and you don’t see sense with either of them.”
“Leave Max out of this,” I warn. “I mean it. You’ve always been hard on him for no good reason. Why do you think he turned out the way he did?”
“Oh, so it’s my fault?” he snaps. “Of course, neither of you takes any responsibility for your shortcomings—”
“What have I ever done to you?” I demand. “Except try to be the best daughter I can. I’m not perfect, I don’t pretend to be, but all I’ve ever wanted is your approval, and I’ll never get it. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, you will never see me as your equal.”
“You’re talking garbage, Willow—”
“I’m not done!” I yell. “If you ever come to my workplace and cause a fight ever again, I will have you physically removed from the building. I don’t care who your connections are. I don’t want to see you, hear from you, or look at you, so don’t bother coming back.” I hang up, my hands shaking.
It’s then that I see movement from the doorway and my eyes widen. I forgot to shut the door when I’d called my dad, and Hally is making a run for it — my coffee in hand.
“Wait!” I call out, she turns, and I don’t even have to see her face to know she’s already wincing.
“I’m so sorry—” she starts.
“Put it on the desk,” I tell her. “Next time, knock.”
“I’m sorry.” She swallows hard. “I did the coffee run this morning, and I know you like the—”
“You’re ass kissing because you think I don’t like you because of what happened with Max,” I say. My tone is still furious because of Dad. The poor girl unfortunately came in at the wrong time, but here we are.
Her face flushes. “I don’t see it that way, but I’ll admit it is kinda awkward sometimes.”
“I’m a professional,” I say, then drop my gaze to the desk. “But sometimes we have to do things, not because we want to, but because it’s the right thing to do. And it’s our job.”
She nods.
“You don’t have to feel bad about being the one who arrested my brother, you probably saved his life.”
She blinks. “I did?” I can see some relief washing over her face as her shoulders drop, her eyes meeting mine. “I still feel bad about it.”
“Well, don’t. Max made his own choices, and that’s water under the bridge. I treat all of my staff equally until they piss me off. So don’t piss me off by treading on eggshells around me thinking I’m going to bite your head off for no good reason.”
“Okay,” she says. “I’m sorry if I did that.”
“And stop apologizing. Like I said — you did your job, and that’s what matters.” I take a long needed breath as I let the silence settle between us. I can tell she wants to leave, but I haven’t dismissed her yet. “You didn’t hear that conversation,” I go on.
“No, ma’am, I didn’t.”
“Do you have good parents, Hally?” I ask out of nowhere.
She nods. “The best.”
I try not to let the quake show in my voice when I say, “Tell them. Let them know they did a good job in raising you. You have integrity, and that’s rare in young people these days.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“You can go now.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Thanks for the coffee.” I manage, feeling like I need to collapse into my chair.
She turns at the door and smiles. “Anytime.”
I didn’t expect to have two desperately needed conversations today, but here we are.
My hands are still shaking when I sit back in my chair and close my eyes.
I don’t like that Haze resorted to violence, but when Max explained what happened, it sounded like my dad had it coming. He just never ever learns, and I am kinda touched that Haze stuck up for my brother. That’s what families do for each other. My dad seemed to have missed the memo on that one.
Speaking of which, I pick up the phone and dial Haze again. It rings out and goes to voice message. I don’t bother leaving one. Instead, I tap out a message.
Me
Need to talk. Call me when you get this
Why don’t you ask your husband, I’m sure he’ll come clean with you about all the lies he’s been keeping. And what exactly has Dad been protecting me from that I know nothing about? It’s fishy, and I just hope Dad is being his usual self and none of what he’s suggesting is true.
Haze doesn’t tell lies, nor does he keep things from me.
I can’t even believe my dad would defend his actions and not even argue the fact that he is here to snoop and try to control me. Well, those days are over. I will not put up with it.
I text Max to let him know me and dad had it out, but I’ll catch up with him tonight. No matter what happens, I’m not going to lose contact with my brother again. I need to be there for him and make sure he’s truly in a good place. Things I should’ve done earlier in life before he took off.
I was too busy keeping Dad happy to see that he was neglecting Max’s needs. Was I the parent? No, but Mom was in no shape to be raising children, and I can’t help but feel it was Dad who put her there. He drove her away because she couldn’t deal with him.
I pull out my phone and text her, too.
Me
Mom, let me know when you can talk. I miss you
I stare at the words before I press send. Have I been this selfish my entire life? I lived for Dad’s whims and acceptance while my mother fled an emotionally abusive relationship, and instead of trying to understand, I was just mad at her for leaving and wouldn’t return her calls. For years.
She left us, and I had a hard time with that.
Of course, Dad was quick to let us know she had mental problems, and that’s why she couldn’t cope anymore, and while I know she had issues, I’m sure his dictatorship didn’t help.
We had conversations over the years when we finally rekindled, but nothing really deep.
Mom knows I’m like my dad in that way, so she pushed nothing on me, nor did she ever speak one bad word about him.
But I know the truth. I just didn’t want to see it.
There are questions I want to ask her. She’s happy now, remarried to a nice guy called Mitch.
Me and Max went to their wedding before Max took off, something that infuriated my dad.
Dad really is the problem in this entire family.
I’m not saying me and my brother were model children by any means, but we weren’t bad eggs.
I wipe the tears from my eyes because this has been one lousy day, and now I have questions for my husband that I need answering. Of course, Dad could’ve just been saying things to hurt me, and there’s likely no merit in any of what he said, but I still have to know.
My heart leaps when I hear my phone buzz, but it isn’t Haze. It’s my mom.
Mom
Sure, honey, let’s FaceTime. We got a new puppy
A tear slides down my face. My dear, sweet Mom. I kept her at arm’s length because I was confused about how she could up and leave, and all this time I didn’t even realize she had to protect her peace. I get that. It may be hard for me to admit it, but I understand.
Me
That’s so cute, what’s his or her name?
A few seconds later, a photo comes through. It’s one of those cute, floppy brown dogs with lots of curls. A Doodle?
Mom
He’s called Bongo, and he loves cuddles
I drop my phone on the desk. It’s just a cute puppy, but the way my heart lurches because my mom is texting me and sending me photos — even though it’s been a month since we caught up — has me tearing up again. What the hell is up with me?
I need to tell her about Haze. She was never against us, not like Dad was. I suspect she was on his side because of the power he had over all of us, and for that I don’t blame her. I know all about Dad’s emotional warfare, and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
I pick up my phone, not wanting to ghost her because I’m having an emotional hiccup day.
Me
Maybe he could join FaceTime too? I’ve so much to tell you
I need my mom. I’ve needed her for a long time, and it’s taken me to this moment to finally realize that I can be the one to get the ball rolling. Life is too short, and I don’t want to waste any more days wondering what if?
It sucks that I’ve had to kick Dad out of mine to really understand that, but it’s like a burden has been lifted. I don’t need his approval. I don’t need anything from him.
What I do need is to talk to my husband, and a well-earned glass of wine.