Chapter 13
Eliah
“Oh my god, Elijah.” I liked Hazel moaning my name, even if it was only because of the quinoa dish I’d made for her.
“I’m glad you like it.” I lifted a forkful to my mouth.
Her braid was frizzy and loose, and her mascara was flaking under her eyelashes. She’d taken off her white lab coat when she’d washed her hands, removing most of the pet fur from her body with it—even though there was still plenty on her dark slacks.
And I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was.
Her eyes were lit with excited energy as she spoke. “It’s delicious. Anyway, Brooks has to be so rung out. He was at three different farms today, and each of them had additional unexpected ailments. And seriously, cows and horses are so big, it can be exhausting to work with them. I don’t know how he does it all the time.”
“He’s not that big of a guy, either.”
She took a drink of water, her lips pursed around the straw. “He’s not, but he is freakishly strong. It’s crazy.”
I snorted, wondering what that even meant, but she didn’t elaborate.
“What’d you do today?” she asked.
“Nothing exciting, just a couple or hours of work. Then I made this,” I gestured to the food on the table, “and came here.”
“I feel so spoiled.” She bounced in her seat, taking another bite.
In the past week and a half, I’d gotten used to seeing her more relaxed. The air around her felt lighter. I didn’t know if it was because I made her feel that way, or if she was more confident around me, but either way, I loved it.
“Nothing could spoil you.”
The break room was just big enough for a table for two, a mini fridge, and a microwave. It was a shame it wasn’t a bigger space. The basement had been untapped real estate while my dad owned the clinic—he’d never cleared it from when my grandpa owned the business. Maybe one of the weekends I visited I could help Hazel clean it out. Who knew what the space could be used for?
I only had three more weeks until my vacation was over, and I was already missing all the little ways we spent time together—these lunches, cuddling on her couch until she fell asleep, and waking up together each morning.
My leaving had become a conversation we needed to have, but I hadn’t figured out how to bring it up. I kept reminding myself that we were only a few hours apart, but the more I fell for her, the more those hours—the distance—seemed to grow.
I was staring into space when she pressed her thumb between my eyebrows. Blinking, I watched as a satisfied smile spread across her face and she let her hand fall back to her side. She considered me for a moment. “Better. What had your forehead all creased up?”
Well, this is as much opportunity as I’m gonna get.
“I don’t want to leave in three weeks,” I answered.
“Hmm. Yeah, all right, the creases make sense.”
“You’ll allow it?”
“I’ll allow it.”
I ran my hands down the tops of my thighs. “Do we talk about how we continue this when I’m gone?”
She paused for a minute. “I don’t want this to end.”
I grinned down at the tabletop. “Good. Me, either.”
“So…”
“I think I could make the drive here three out of four weekends—”
“Oh my god, you’d be willing to come here that often?”
“Could you drive to me on the fourth weekend?” I still couldn’t meet her eye. It felt like I was telling her just how much I liked her without actually saying the words, or knowing if she felt the same.
“Yeah. I can do that.”
It wasn’t exactly a declaration of love, but all the tension in my body released in a single breath.
She tapped her fingertips on the table between us. “It feels really weird to ask, but like, how long do we do that? We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks, but would you even consider…”
“Moving back here?”
She nodded.
Leaving this place had felt like a new start, as if chains had been released from my body. And I had needed it at the time—someplace new, where I was more than the sum of my past written in scandals. But I had always known an end game with Hazel would mean moving back here. I hadn’t realized considering it wouldn’t feel like slipping those chains back on.
I laced my fingers in hers, running my thumb across the hills and valleys of her knuckles. “If we’re good, and we know what we want from each other, I would move back here.”
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I like this plan. We can FaceTime, and text throughout the day, and I’m gonna miss you a lot, but…”
I waited as she chewed on her lower lip.
She swallowed. “I would be pretty heartbroken if we just stopped.”
I squeezed her fingers, and when she met my eyes I said, “I would too.”
We sat there, grinning at each other, making promises without saying a word.
Ransom’s garage smelled like motor oil and lumber. He and Sterling leaned against the workbench, talking about their grandparents and sipping beers. I’d switched to water a few hours ago, making sure I’d be able to drive to Hazel’s when she got out of work. Sitting on a metal stool, I silently hoped to not get grease on my jeans. I wasn’t the work-toughened kind of man Grand Ridge usually turned out. Most of the guys I grew up with would consider it a waste of time to care about the condition of my clothes, but then again, I’d helped most of them look presentable for the upcoming auction.
It was The Sterling Show, as Ransom and I had dubbed it when we were kids. He was telling stories and cracking jokes, and we were his avid audience and hecklers. We were about to enter into one of my favorite tales about the time he’d gotten a terrible sunburn on some unfortunate places. Ransom and I shared a shake of our heads, but Sterling wasn’t deterred.
My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out of my pocket, expecting a text from Hazel. Instead, it was my mom. Is Hazel okay?
Concerned, I lost the ability to breathe for a moment. What happened? Why wouldn’t she be okay?
Pastor Lou did a service on the auction. They just posted it to the community page.
“Shit.” I groaned. I remembered being the “inspiration” of sermons given by the pastor of my dad’s church. Even if Lou didn’t call anyone out by name, the town was small enough that everyone knew who he was talking about.
They had known it was me, and his personal vendetta against me, when he’d pounded on the pulpit, warning all of the young women to guard their virtue from serpents in the grass.
He had sway in this community—even more than my dad—and I knew firsthand how he could ruin a person’s standing.
It’d happened to Mom, too. I didn’t want her to think Hazel would be alone the way Mom had been.
I’ll make sure she’s okay. Thanks for letting me know, I texted.
“What’s up?” Sterling asked.
“Pastor Lou did a service against the auction, and there’s a recording. That old bastard.”
“Fuck.” Ransom’s face typically rested at stern, but it turned dangerous with the slightest twitch of his mouth.
Pocketing my phone, I didn’t bother searching for the video. “I gotta go find Hazel.”
“Yeah, man. I’m texting my sisters for help to turn the narrative. I’ll get this fixed up.” Sterling looked down at his phone as he typed out messages.
“Thanks.”
I drove to the clinic first, where her car was parked in the lot. There was still a half hour before close, so I walked through the front door.
Relief washed over Nora’s face when she saw me. “She’s in her office. She made me come out here, or I’d be back there with her.”
I could practically see Hazel telling Nora she was okay, and Nora should do the closing tasks.
“Yeah, I get it.” I walked through the door between the lobby and the front desk.
It only took a few long strides down the hallway to get to her. The doorknob for her office wasn’t latched, and I pushed it open. She had her hands pressed to her chest as she sucked in deep breaths. Her eyes were wide and watering when they landed on me.
“I’m fine.” She gasped.
“I know.” I didn’t argue with her as I took a step closer, prepared to hold her or give her space, depending on what she needed.
“I’m fine,” she repeated.
“Yeah.”
“It’s just they’re…” she had to stop to catch her breath before she continued, “saying so many things about me. That I took advantage of your dad. That I’m sinful and disloyal. That I can’t be trusted because of the company I keep, but like, what the fuck does that mean?”
Me.
Did she really not know? Or was she sparing my feelings?
“It’s fine, baby. Just breathe. I know it feels terrible, but it’ll pass. Just breathe.” I held my arms out, and she fell into them. Holding her, I rocked back and forth, making shushing noises. Her tears leaked onto my shirt. Little by little, her lungs filled with air—expanding a little more with each inhalation. “Good job.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered into my chest.
“Keep doing what you’re doing. It doesn’t feel like it now, but this community is changing. This bullshit might not be eradicated, but you’re not alone. And that alone is progress. Sterling, Bet, and Lola are already on the defense for you. Hell, my mom told me about all this. She was looking out for you.”
She squeezed me tighter. “You’re here.”
“Yeah, baby. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
And god, she had me. I was so wrapped up in her. Tangled in her threads. Weaving into me, pulling out my better fibers.
After one more slow exhale, she pulled back. “Oh no, I ruined your shirt.”
I looked down to see black mascara smudged on the loose cotton. I cupped her cheek and lifted her chin to meet my eye. “Who cares?”
“I really liked it.”
“You can have it to sleep in. You’ll look cute as hell.”
She snorted. “Maybe after I clean up.”
I pressed a kiss to her forehead, taking in her pinkened nose and cheeks. “You’re cute as hell now.”
She leaned her forehead on my shoulder. “What if the backlash continues to grow, and people start canceling their appointments?”
Her concern was legitimate. “Cancel culture” had been a long-standing tradition here, well before it was acknowledged and named by society as a whole. Conform to our beliefs, or else, had been the reigning unspoken threat.
“You think Nora would stand for that?” I asked.
Hazel let out a watery laugh. “Thank god, she’s on my side.”
“She is.”
Turning her head, she rested a cheek on my chest. “I just wish everyone would stop talking about me, you know?”
I snorted. “Yeah, I know.”
I didn’t know a solution, and all of the comforting words I could say felt trite, so I just held her as her heart rate continued to slow to its normal pace. I hoped that the world faded away for her, the way it did for me, when she was in my arms.