Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BECK
For as long as I’d lived here, this had been my sacred space. The one place I could go and not have to contend with anyone else. I didn’t even invite Ford out here, and he was closer to me than anyone.
But I couldn’t deny that it felt natural to have Everly here beside me.
Most people wouldn’t be impressed with it.
There were no chairs, no tables, no strings of those fancy lights everyone lost their shit over.
Usually, I didn’t bother bringing anything out at all, just sat right on the hard roof with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.
But for Everly, I’d grabbed an armful of pillows and blankets and had tossed them into the corner, making it as comfortable as possible for her.
With how the structure was built, we had our own little alcove tucked away from prying eyes.
It faced the ocean, with two sides open and the other two comprised of the building, which meant the corner was the perfect nook for us.
The closest cottage was fifty yards away, so we might as well have been totally and completely alone, just how I preferred it.
Everly sat bracketed between my bent legs, hers outstretched in front of her and crossed at the ankles. I rested her wineglass on my knee as she reclined against my chest, and I just breathed her in, a unique blend of her usual scent mixed with mine that made my cock twitch.
She hadn’t said much since we came out here, but thank Christ she was no longer crying.
In the entirety of our friendship, I’d never seen her cry like that—had never seen her shed more than a couple tears while watching a movie or a commercial that tugged at her heartstrings.
Not even when she’d first moved here and was overwhelmed with the transition of the business and being in a new place.
She’d taken it all in stride—almost irritatingly so.
I was the downer of our duo. She was an eternal optimist, someone who didn’t let life get her down.
So when she’d started crying—no, sobbing…
huge, gut-wrenching sobs that had torn at my heart—I knew she’d been pushed to the point of no return.
And I fucking hated that it’d happened when I was supposed to be taking care of her.
Though I didn’t exactly see a way around this—I couldn’t go back in time and stop the fire, couldn’t save any of the contents of her home or magically create a new clinic for her, so I had to support her however I could.
But the issues weighing on her definitely put into perspective what I’d been worried about earlier today. In the end, it didn’t matter if I was apprehensive or scared or nervous about what was going on between us. Everly needed me, plain and simple, and I had no intention of disappointing her.
“On a scale of one to breakdown, where are we now?” I asked against the shell of her ear.
She vibrated against me with a laugh and twisted around to look up at me, the move shifting her ass against where I was already rocking a semi for her. The faint light from inside my apartment cast a shadow across her face as she grinned up at me. “Maybe like a four?”
I made a gruff sound in the back of my throat and splayed my hand over her stomach, holding her tightly to me. “Still too high.”
“Well, just because you said things weren’t weird between us so they’re magically not, that doesn’t mean you can say my house and business didn’t burn down and have it be true.
They’re both still charred, I still have to replace everything, and I still have to figure out how I’m going to see patients. ”
“I told you not to worry about it.”
“Beck.” She sighed. “I have to worry about it, because if I don’t, it’s not going to get done.”
Except that I already told her I’d take care of it.
“You can renew your license online, so no DMV hassle. You have an appointment tomorrow at the bank, and I sweet-talked Charlotte into compiling a list of numbers for credit card companies so it’ll make calling for replacements easier.”
Everly was quiet for long moments, and I had a brief panic that I’d overstepped. Then she said, “You sweet-talked someone?”
I exhaled a heavy sigh, relaxing my tight muscles. “Fine, I bribed her.”
Everly’s laugh was loud and carefree and the best thing I’d heard all fucking day. “What in the world did you bribe her with?”
“She wants my blueberry scone recipe, but I had her settle for a portable charcuterie spread for her to bring to the beach for fireworks on Friday.”
“Well, I don’t blame her. Your spreads are delicious.” She reached over and plucked one of the last crackers from the tray I’d brought out for her. “And that was very devious of you.”
“I’ll be as devious as I need to be to get you taken care of.”
She breathed in deeply and exhaled, relaxing into me as she linked her fingers over mine on her stomach and squeezed. “You’re too good to me.”
She’d still cried today, so I was definitely going with not good enough.
“It seems you weren’t just cooking Chuckanut dinner while I was gone,” she said. “You’ve been kind of busy, huh?”
I shrugged, bringing her the glass of wine for a sip and accepting it again when she was done.
“Well, I guess that only leaves the most important and most daunting part,” she said. “How am I still going to see patients?”
“That’s probably the easiest.”
“How in the world is that the easiest?”
“House calls.”
“House calls?”
“I’m sure that’s a foreign concept to you big-city dwellers—”
She laughed. “Bellingham is hardly a big city.”
“—but we’re very familiar with them here. I think your aunt did them back when she remodeled the clinic.”
“That’s a really great idea…”
“Then why do you sound hesitant?”
“Well, it is a good idea, but I don’t have any way to actually do house calls. My car got damaged, too, remember?”
Yeah, I remembered. I recalled every word the chief mentioned of the damage done to Everly’s place while she’d stood there, eyes glazed as she’d leaned into me like she hadn’t been able to hold herself up.
“What kind of alternate reality are we in that I’m suddenly the one finding a way to make things work and you’re throwing up roadblocks? Just take my truck. There. That’s settled. Anything else weighing down that gorgeous mind of yours?”
She breathed out a sigh and relaxed back into me. “Only one last thing…”
I ran through the list of issues in my head, unable to come up with anything I hadn’t already covered.
“I just need to figure out where I’m staying.”
With me, that was where. I didn’t want her anywhere but here.
Didn’t want her figuring this out on her own—especially when she was already overwhelmed.
That would lead to stress, which would lead to exhaustion, which would lead to her skipping meals because she was too busy or just plain old forgot, which was a downward spiral she’d gone down too many times to count. And I refused to let her do it again.
“You’re staying with me.”
“But eventually—”
“You’re staying with me,” I said, firmer this time.
“I feel like we’ve already had this discussion.”
“We have. A couple times. So can this be the last?”
“You promise you’re not going to get sick of me? What happens when you reach your limit of Everlyness?”
I was starting to believe my limit for Everly did not exist.
“Don’t worry about it because it’s not going to happen.”
“Easier said than done.”
“Sounds like you’re thinking too much.” I reached for the wine bottle and topped off her glass before handing it to her. “No place else to be tonight, so you can get as drunk as you want and forget about all this other shit.”
With her head resting against my chest, she tipped it back and stared up at me. “How come tonight is get Everly drunk, but you don’t even have a beer?” She furrowed her brow. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk… Why is that?”
Well, fuck. I hadn’t been prepared to talk about this tonight.
Or ever. And I could still keep it to myself…
could feed her a bullshit story and not have to sift through the mountains of baggage piled on my shoulders.
But Everly had cracked herself open in front of me today.
She trusted me with her tears, so I could trust her with a tiny piece of my history.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Because I saw what too-much looked like before I even knew what alcohol was, and I decided a long time ago that was never going to be me.”
She was quiet for long moments before she finally said, “Your dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
I swallowed, having no idea how to share this with someone because I’d never had to.
The only people who were remotely close enough to me to warrant knowing about it had already lived through it, same as I did.
But I found myself…wanting her to know. Wanting to share this part of myself with her that I hadn’t shared with anyone else.
“He lost his job when I was maybe thirteen? That was the beginning of the end. He was a functioning alcoholic for most of my childhood. He wasn’t a mean drunk.
Didn’t hit us or anything. He was just…absent.
Too worried about his own shit to worry about us.
Which meant everything fell on my mom’s shoulders—the house, the resort, us kids.
All because my dad could never be without a glass of gin.
” I huffed out a breath and shook my head.
“I still can’t stand the smell of that shit.
His whole life was consumed by it, and our lives revolved around whether or not he was drinking.
Our days started super early just so we could fit in what we needed to before he was drunk.
But every year that went by, his start time got a little earlier and earlier, until pretty soon, he was drunk by noon. ”
While he’d never been physically abusive, he’d still neglected me.
Us. Whether it was outright ignoring us as he tucked himself away, forever working on the next great American novel rather than job hunting or helping Mom with the resort, or just straight passed out in the living room at four in the afternoon.
“I’m sorry, Beck.”
“Yeah, well. It is what it is. I just decided I didn’t want to do that. I’ve been drunk exactly once.”
“Really? When?”
I cleared my throat. “The day they found my mom’s boat but not my mom.”
My dad had been drunk then, too. Passed out on the couch while my brothers and I had stepped in, taken the reins, and figured out what to do, all the while looking after Addison and worrying that the only guiding force we had in our life was gone.
I’d spent a lot of years wishing it’d been him who’d been on that boat and not her, wondering why the hell a good person and an amazing mom was taken too soon when someone like my dad continued dragging his ass through life, barely existing.
Everly made a soft sound in the back of her throat and pressed a kiss under my jaw. “That’s a lot for you to deal with. I can see why you made that choice. What about the rest of your siblings?”
I shrugged. “It affected us all differently. I think I’m the only one who doesn’t really drink. I’ll have a beer here or there, but that’s about it.” I held her wineglass in front of her. “But it doesn’t bother me if anyone else does, so drink up.”
“Would you hold my hair back for me if I spent the night puking?”
What the hell kind of question was that? “You know I would.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter because it’s not happening.”
“Why not?”
She didn’t answer me right away, and it was too dark to be able to read any nuances in her expression.
“Sunshine?”
She took a deep breath, the move pressing her even more tightly against me. On an exhale, she said, “Because if I’m drunk, you won’t let us have a replay of this morning.”
I froze behind her, all thoughts of my parents and my rocky childhood vanishing into thin air, replaced by the memories of her in the shower, her back to me, ass tilted up as I slid my cock between those lush thighs, her moans in my ears as I came against her.
“What makes you think I will anyway?” I asked, but my voice was too deep, too ragged to pass for casual.
She shifted against me, very deliberately rubbing her ass against the erection I couldn’t hope to hide from her. “Just took a wild guess.”
Fuck. What was the right thing to do here? She wasn’t drunk—she wasn’t even tipsy. She’d probably had a total of one glass, and since she’d stuffed herself on the tray of meats, cheeses, crackers, and blackberry vanilla bourbon jam I’d brought out for her, she was good.
And my willpower was crumbling.
I tucked my face into her neck, pressing my nose against her skin and inhaling deeply.
She smelled so fucking good, and she was so soft and warm against me, and she was wearing my shirt even though she had half a dozen others to choose from, courtesy of Luna.
And now, her tight little ass was right up against my cock, taunting me, tormenting me, and I wasn’t sure I could resist any longer.
She reached over, plucked the glass from my hand, and set it off to the side. Then she leaned back against me, slipping her hands on top of mine and threading our fingers together as she brought them to her stomach. “Stop fighting it.”
With her guiding the way, she slipped our hands beneath the T-shirt, my fingertips grazing over the soft skin of her stomach, up her rib cage, and not stopping until our hands were cupping her bare tits.
“Fuck.” I couldn’t stop from clenching my hands, groaning when her nipples pebbled against my palms. “What do you need, sunshine?”
“You,” she breathed, arching into my touch and pressing her ass more firmly against me.
And that was it. All bets off. Game over. I was done for, blissfully annihilated at the hands of this gorgeous siren.