38. Alex
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
alex
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my nerves and quell the primal urge to take Chelsi into my arms and carry her out of the restaurant whenever she finally arrives with Jake and Kate.
The past two days have moved at a glacial pace, almost like the universe is taunting me.
Punishing me for past decisions. Wanting to torture me when I finally choose something for myself.
My jaw clenches, remembering how I’ve always put everyone else first. Ensured their happiness. Placed their well-being over my own. Put myself in harm’s way to protect a fellow Marine on the battlefield.
People call me selfless, but I’m not sure that’s an accurate title.
It’s more like I never really had anything I wanted to live for. Until now. Until her. My entire world flipped on its head the moment she gave me her heart. Confirmed she wanted to be with me. That I was worth wanting.
In some ways, she washed away decades of abandonment issues with a single statement. Wrapped bandages over wounds that have bled for so long they’ve become part of me. Not anymore.
Now, I’m patched up. Ready to take a step toward a future with the woman I love.
The woman who I think loves me back but isn’t ready to say it.
She’s not the only one. I know without a doubt I’m deeply in love with her.
It’s only a matter of finding the right time for those words to come out of my mouth.
It has to be at the right moment, so I don’t spook her.
She took a huge step this weekend by admitting her feelings.
Choosing me. I want to give her time to bask in the joy of opening up her heart and seeing how much I reciprocate.
She needs to know she’s the only woman for me. Forever.
When she’s confident about our future, that’s when I’ll say those three little words. The ones I’ve only uttered to one other person in my life.
“Long time no see,” Jake calls out, strolling over with Kate’s hand firmly in his. “Glad we could all finally get together for dinner. Hopefully, there aren’t any construction issues this time.”
I smirk, raising my eyebrows and knowing full well there weren’t any issues last time, either, based on what Chelsi shared.
This man has been scheming to get us together for months.
Normally, I’d be pissed about the intrusion in my personal life, but I’m grateful this time.
I’d let Jake meddle all he wants if it means I get to spend my life with Chelsi.
I’m about to ask where Chelsi is when she finally walks through the revolving door, wearing a black strapless dress with a smattering of polka dots that hits mid-thigh, and strappy heels that elongate her legs. My mouth waters, envisioning fucking her wearing nothing but those heels.
“Hey,” Chelsi murmurs, standing in front of me like a goddess.
My goddess.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I reply, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her toward me until our chests touch. I press my lips against hers softly, trying to keep my burning desire for her in check. This is a nice restaurant. I can’t be making out with my girlfriend in the front lobby.
Shit. She’s my girlfriend, isn’t she?
We’ve never labeled our relationship, but that’s how I think of her. What I want to call her. How I want to introduce her to other people.
After breaking our kiss, I rest my forehead against hers. “I’ve missed you.”
“Same,” she whispers back.
“All right, lovebirds. Our table is ready.” Kate gestures for us to follow her and Jake, along with the hostess.
“We’ll come find you,” I call out, gesturing for them to go without us. I need a couple of minutes alone with Chelsi. A chance to clarify something before we’re subjected to whatever inquisition is likely coming from Kate and Jake.
“Everything okay, Alex?” Chelsi asks, a hint of concern in her tone.
“Everything is great. Just wanted the chance to talk to you before we sat down for dinner. I should’ve brought it up earlier, but it didn’t cross my mind until now.
” Taking a deep breath, I reach for her hands and intertwine her fingers with mine.
“I hope this doesn’t seem silly, but I’d really like to call you my girlfriend… if that’s okay with you.”
My heart thumps as I wait for her to respond. It feels like minutes pass, but in reality, it’s likely only seconds.
“Are you asking me to go steady with you, Alex?” she teases, arching her eyebrows. “I expected an official note asking me to circle yes or no. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?”
I chuckle. “If that’s what it will take to get you to say yes, I’ll happily find a piece of paper and write it down for you.”
She shakes her head and smiles. “Completely unnecessary. I’d love nothing more than to be your girlfriend. Feel free to shout it from the rooftops.”
“Don’t tempt me. Might yell it in the restaurant so everyone knows this gorgeous woman is mine.”
Her cheeks flush, a deeper hue than the blush she’s wearing. She likes it when I call her mine, which is good because I plan on doing it for a lifetime if she’ll let me.
“We should probably find our table. Don’t want to leave Kate and Jake alone too long or God only knows what we’ll find, especially if we’re in a private room again.”
I nod in agreement. I’d likely act the same way if I were alone with Chelsi right now. It’s taking all my self-control to keep my hands from roaming her body, peppering her neck with kisses, and dropping to my knees to taste her.
Fuck. I’m getting hard. Why do I have a feeling that this dinner is going to take forever?
After speaking with the hostess, I take Chelsi’s hand and lead her through the restaurant until we find the private dining room where Kate and Jake are waiting.
Although there was hardly any commotion when Jake arrived, he still prefers to have as much seclusion when he eats.
It’s impossible to know who will walk up to his table when he’s out in public.
This type of setup doesn’t guarantee we won’t be interrupted, but it usually lessens the number of disruptions.
“Good. You finally made it. Thought we might have to call in a search-and-rescue squad. Check the bathrooms to make sure you weren’t having a quickie,” Jake teases with a wide grin.
“Leave them alone.” Kate shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “Don’t listen to him. He’s waiting for his moment to gloat about setting up the two of you.”
Chelsi and I sit down at the square table, and I can’t help but place my hand on her upper thigh.
The smoothness of her skin, as well as the tiny shiver that cascades throughout her body, about does me in, making me want to say screw it and take her home.
Tie her to my bed and worship her until the sun comes up.
If I didn’t owe everything good in my life to the man sitting next to me, that’s exactly what I would do.
“Now, Jake, I don’t think you can take all of the credit for Alex and me getting together. You never specifically said who you thought would be a good match for me. I spent months assuming you wanted me to hook up with Jimmy.”
My muscles tense at hearing another man’s name on her lips.
Doesn’t matter if it’s Jimmy’s; it could be anyone who has shown an inkling of interest in my girl—I’d have the same reaction.
I never thought I was the possessive type, except when it comes to her.
She’s a rare gift I want to protect with everything I have—one I’m desperate to hold onto, no matter the cost.
Jake groans. “You damn well knew I didn’t want you dating Jimmy. About gave me and Kate a coronary when you blatantly flirted with him at the barbecue.” He jerks his thumb in my direction. “Pretty sure this one almost cracked a tooth.”
He’s not wrong. It was pure torment watching her touch someone else. Laugh at their jokes.
Chelsi waves dismissively. “You all know I would never seriously consider any type of relationship with Jimmy. He’s the biggest walking red flag in the world. God help the woman who ever tries to tame that one.”
Kate snickers. “Is that even possible? Jimmy doesn’t seem like a man who will ever settle down.”
Chelsi shrugs. “You never know. This one hasn’t dated in forever. Not until he met me.” She turns her head and lovingly looks at me, as if I’ve hung the damn moon.
I would if I could. I’d do anything for this woman. No questions asked.
I lean in, pressing a soft kiss to Chelsi’s lips. “That’s because no one captured my heart. No one holds a candle to you.”
“Oh my God. You guys are so cute,” Kate squeals, her eyes crinkling, a huge grin on her face. “Does this mean things are getting serious?”
My stomach drops a tiny bit, unsure how to answer this question. While Chelsi confessed her feelings to me a couple of days ago, I don’t want to make her uncomfortable by proclaiming she’s the one. She should get to determine what and how she tells people about us.
Without hesitation, Chelsi says, “Yes. Things between Alex and me are very serious. We’re planning a future together.”
Holy fuck. I think my heart is going to explode. Did she just publicly declare what I think she did?
Chelsi reaches under the table, putting her hand on mine and squeezing. “Alex has my heart. And I’m… I’m extremely grateful for the role you both played in bringing us together.”
Jake’s grin becomes even wider, almost like the Joker’s crazy smile, while tears brim in Kate’s eyes.
Is this what it feels like to be truly happy? To have people who want to celebrate big moments in your life. I’ve never experienced anything like this. And I think… I think I might like it.
The rest of dinner goes by at a snail’s pace; not because of how long it takes to get the food or the pace of the conversation, but solely because I’m counting down the seconds until we’re done. When I can take Chelsi home. For us to be together in a way I’ve dreamed about for more than a year.
For the chance to physically show her how much I love her, until she’s ready to hear the actual words.