The UnFriendzone
Ranar
“So that’s it.
I need to pull the plug before I start throwing good money after bad.
You know the weddings will start to dry up by mid-October.
I’m going to quietly put it on the market by the end of this month, and hopefully I’ll be able to move any stock we’re sitting on by the time it goes to escrow.
We’re done.”
Grace nodded slowly, not bothering to challenge him.
He’d already had the same conversation with his parents that morning.
His mother understood, insisted it was for the best, that she wanted him to get as much money for the property as he could without sacrificing anymore to the taxes.
She said that, but as she left the room, Ranar watched her pause, reaching a hand out to touch the notched door frame, marked with their heights.
A short while later, he had been in the design room with his father, organizing himself for that weekend’s wedding.
“I used to put Ruma in her swing right there, remember? Every afternoon while we worked.
I used to tell her this place would be hers to worry over .
.
. We’ll need to get you out of the house every day after this place is gone. Figure out a new routine. Okay, Appa?” Ranar knew he was as much talking to himself as he was to his father, not expecting an answer.
His father looked up, fixing him with a look, shaking his head.
“You worry too much.
You always worry too much.
Let your mother and I do the worrying.”
He smiled sadly.
It was bittersweet that the fact that his days of worrying about this place were nearly at an end.
“I’ll try to do that more.”
“Ruma needs to be a doctor, not run any of this.
Sell it and send her to a good medical school.
And you don’t need to worry about this place so much either.
Focus on school.
Then you get a good job that doesn’t keep your hands in water all day.”
Ranar laughed, turning away as his eyes burned.
Where the fuck was this lecture twenty years ago? “Okay, if you say so.
You’re the boss.”
“Don’t forget it.
Why don’t you go call that pretty girl and stop worrying so much.”
He left the room laughing again, having no idea what his father was talking about, because he surely didn’t know about Sumi or any of the goings-on with her shop, but he had been thinking of doing that exact thing all morning.
Now Grace was here, insisting that she had business to discuss that couldn’t wait.
“Can I make a suggestion without you biting my face off?”
Ranar rolled his eyes, turning to face the bubbly human, but said nothing, silently holding out a hand for her to continue.
“I think we all agree that you have to sell the building, that’s the best choice.”
“Gosh, Grace.
Thanks for weighing in with an opinion on that decision that has absolutely nothing to do with you.
I’m glad I have your approval.”
“But moving past that,” she continued giving him a sapphire glare, “I think you should keep paying your business taxes.
Don’t dissolve your LLC.
Dump the property taxes, for sure, but the business .
.
. Ranar, you can make this work. The weddings alone —“
“The weddings aren’t enough, Grace.”
“Will you please let me finish? I know you think this means you just have to throw in the towel and start selling peanuts on the side of the road, but you’re actually being kind of ridiculous.“ She glared.
“I was actually going to sell little journals bound with my molted skin.
I was going to call it the Necronagacon.”
“Anyway.
You know I have the contract for the Fall Festival.
This coming year I was going to try to get the summer carnival as well.
Cal is like a shark.
He got a little taste of blood in the water, now he’s on a feeding frenzy. This is between you and me, no one outside staff knows anything yet, but we’ve already broken ground on an indoor facility. It’s going to be beautiful. Log cabin style, with a wall of glass that looks out over the hills and the lake.”
She paused for maximum dramatic effect, and Ranar crossed his arms, wishing she’d get on with it.
“He wants to be able to compete with Enoch over at the winery for the winter events.
That’s my focus this year.
He wants me to hire in someone to run the CSA so that I can put all my energy into building the wedding business.”
“Congrats.
That’s amazing.
Did everyone I know conspire to make me feel like a failure this week, or is it just a coincidence?”
“Oh my gods, Ranar.
Just think of allll those winter weddings and banquets.
This is what I do.
This is what you do.
Having an in-house florist would be a huge win for me, and it would be a win for you, too. I know bitching about them is one of your favorite pastimes, but I also know that you secretly love doing weddings.
You don’t want to admit being a masochist, but I know you love them. We can put together packages, pre-designed based on your specs to streamline the workflow. And what have you always told me?
Wedding season pays for the winters. Think about it. You’ve already been working your ass off every summer, it’s not like that would be something new.
Let’s say it takes a year or two for our winter business to solidify, even though I promise that won’t happen. You can take the winters off until I start booking, actually get to spend time with Ruma when she comes home for vacation. The two of you can take a trip together, not worry about work.”
She was playing dirty.
There was nothing that he would like to do more than escape the cold winters in Cambric Creek, even if only for a week or two, and Grace knew it.
And he did love doing weddings.
The work was methodical, and he loved having one singular concept to unify.
“Please think about it.
And we would keep the name! The name recognition is half of what I want — special events at Saddlethorne Farm, flowers by The Perfect Petal.
Two multigenerational family businesses, born and bred right here in Cambric Creek.
You know people love shit like that.”
“So I’m going to have to, what, work in the rain next to the pigpen putting together table arrangements?”
“You work at home.
In the design room.”
They both turned at the sound of his mother’s voice, serpentining around the corner.
Her hands were tightly clasped in front of her already, swaying from side-to-side in excitement, and he knew he was beat.
“You know we don’t even use that big family room since you and Nisa moved out.
What is it doing? Just sitting empty.
We can turn it into a workroom for you to do these events.
You need to start thinking about yourself, Ranar.
I know it’s easier to take care of us, but you need to take care of yourself as well.”
You need to find someone to take care of you for a change.
If only it could be as easy as Pinky made it sound.
Grace was right.
It would be a huge win for her not having to contract in work for her events, and an all-inclusive wedding package including flowers would be a desirable bonus.
And you won’t have to learn to be a short order cook at the diner or sell peanuts on the side of the road outside Cockatrice games. That’s a plus.
The business was barely worth the property taxes, but the property itself would ensure his parents would be taken care of for the rest of their years.
The building would ensure that he had a paid-for roof over his head and a few years to fuck around and figure out what was next without depleting his savings.
This is what’s next.
You don’t need to burn money fucking around if you’re doing this.
Instantly, the wheels began turning.
“We can set it up exactly like this place.” All three of them looked around, as if they were committing the space to memory.
As if he would need to.
He had spent more time in this room than he had probably in any other room in the world.
“Mom, we could make it look exactly like this. The same layout. I can have this table brought over, with the same cut marks that have always been here. We can put the extra coolers in the garage.”
“The zoning —“
“Fuck the zoning,” he slapped his hand down against the counter to make his point, wincing when his mother smacked him with a rolled up newspaper.
“Language in front of a lady!”
“The zoning won’t be a problem,” Ranar went on.
“Jack wouldn’t dare give me an issue about anything else, and if he does, I will deny it to his face.
‘What are you talking about, this is home therapy.’ We can do this.
We can make it so that dad still has this place to come to every day.
And, you know, I’ll be able to feed myself. That helps.”
“And if you need extra space for really big events, I can figure something out on site—“
“He can borrow space from his girlfriend.”
Both their heads swung to his mother, who looked entirely too pleased with herself over the bomb she had just dropped into the conversation.
“She has that big shop.
Plenty of space.
And she would never say no to you for anything.”
He could tell Grace was giving him a look.
Ranar refused to make eye contact with her, refused to acknowledge his mother’s fictions, but he could feel her look the same.
“Perfect.
I think it’s gonna work out great for everyone, I really do.
I’ve been thinking about it for weeks.
And we can help you with the space, the boys from the farm can flip it in a weekend.
You should see the magic they work on the barns. If someone will be home this week, I can have Brogan and Zeke —“
“If you’re sending handsome farmhands to the house, I can leave right now.”
He was going to remind his mother of this afternoon in two weeks, Ranar decided as she swished triumphantly from the room, when she needed his help resetting the television remote.
Grace waited until they were alone, almost visibly counting.
When she got to five, she pounced.
“If you don’t tell me everything right now, and I mean fucking everything, I’m going to call Tris.
And he’ll find out.
And he’ll root out everything you think you’re hiding plus the shit in your past you’ve already forgotten about, so unless you want your sex life to be front page news, you’d better spill.”
Ranar scowled.
Tris was a gossip columnist, an absolute menace wherever he went, and was one of Grace’s longtime friends.
She had known the sneaky satyr for more than a decade, and she clearly wasn’t above using him as a weapon.
“That is so low of you —“
“I will call him right now, don’t test me.
Why was I not the very first person to hear about this?”
Ranar blew out a breath in aggravation.
“Because she doesn’t exist! My mother and my daughter have decided to spin yarns together as a bonding experience, I guess.
They saw Sumi in here one time and they both decided —“
“Sumi? Pink Blossom Sumi.
Whose party you ghosted like a fucking loser, ghosting me in the process, after I worked so hard to get you there? The one I said literally from day one was flirting with you? That Sumi?”
There was nothing he could say.
Ranar already knew the conversation wasn’t even worth continuing.
Grace would proclaim victory, would insist that he ought to be indebted to her forever, and he wasn’t willing to give her the satisfaction.
He rolled his eyes, making a dissenting noise in his throat.
“I didn’t ghost, I stepped out for some air.
Those social media girls were tripping over my tail, there was no room! But I didn’t leave.
Sounds like you indulged in a few too many of those cosmos and didn’t know whether you were coming or going.”
“Oh my stars, you fucked her didn’t you? You did! I can tell, don’t try to deny it!”
“Oh, how can you tell?”
Grace was practically crowing.
“Because your ears are turning red and you’re not actually a very good liar, Ranar.
You fucked her.
Did she actually pull down her dress and ask if you wanted to squeeze her boobies?”
Ranar slouched into his coil.
He didn’t want to have this conversation.
He didn’t want to think about the things they’d done that night and how much he’d enjoyed it.
Wanted to think even less about the way she’d turned up two days later, bringing him coffee and lunch with instructions to keep his strength up, kissing his cheek before she sped away, leaving him dumbfounded in the parking lot.
He most especially didn’t want to contemplate the way he’d replayed the events of that night on a near constant loop, practically needing to wear an apron twenty-four hours a day to disguise his arousal.
“I’m pretty sure she fucked me, actually.
She didn’t ask me to squeeze anything.
But she did ask if she could lick my slit, and I blacked out after that.
I don’t remember what happened the rest of the night.”
She was a heap of blonde curls, face down on the table, shaking in laughter.
“I feel like I deserve a monument in the park for this.
I knew she was perfect for you! Asked if she could lick your slit, fucking hells.
Thank the goddess one of you is willing to make the first move.
You know you love bossy women, hurry up and marry this one.”
“Again, how do you know that?”
Grace was still laughing as she pushed up from the table, checking her cherry-red lipstick in the mirror before turning to the door.
“Because I’ve been bossing you around from the day we met.
I’m going to be proud of myself over this the rest of the week, I really am.”
Ranar squirmed once she had left.
He could still feel the heat of Sumi’s mouth, the drag of her tongue over the most sensitive spot on his body.
Grace was right — she was bolder than he’d ever been, had been right from the start.
She was ruining his life, throwing his entire existence into shambles, and had been brazen about it from the beginning .
. . but she had an audacity that took his breath away, and he would have been lying if he pretended it didn’t turn him on. It was turning him on right now, feeling the slight vibration of his cocks in their sheath.
This was going to be a stressful few months, this transition, and what was that she had told him? Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you.
Anything at all.
His hand operated with a mind of its own, tapping open his phone and scrolling to her name.
Hi
He groaned at himself.
Hi, really? What are you, ten? Mid at best, on your luckiest day.
Pathetic.
A pathetic worm.
Hey! What’s up? Something you need?
Every time he closed his eyes he could see her there above him — dark hair hanging around her face, her cheeks splotched pink.
The second time they’d had sex, she’d been fully in control.
Her head had dropped back as she rode him, her rosy lips parting in a moan he heard rattling through his brain every time he attempted to focus on anything else.
She hadn’t waited for him to be smooth, hadn’t waited for him to make the first move, hadn’t waited on him for anything.
She’d still be waiting.
She had taken what she’d wanted from him, straddling his body, riding one of his cocks as his hands roved over her body.
She had been the one to reverse them, requesting a repeat of fast and dirty, had instructed him to hold her down once more, pinning her beneath his muscle and weight.
He still had marks on his back from where her nails had scratched against him. Was there something he needed?
I don’t know if need is strictly the right word.
Ranar closed his eyes, breathing slowly, in and out.
He still wasn’t sure if the situation was mortifying or if it was exactly what he’d needed, something he’d not even known he’d needed.
Something you want?
He swallowed hard, gulping down the mortification and his pride.
He didn’t have much of that left anyway.
Then he paused, body vibrating in anticipation as she typed another message.
Give me an hour.
My house.
The back garage door is unlocked.
Ranar frowned.
He didn’t like that.
Didn’t like it, and was going to give her lecture over it .
.
. in an hour, when he saw her. When she leaves her thriving business in the middle of the day to come take care of your erections, just because you made a vague hint at needing some relief.
That he needed her mouth, her tongue, hot at his slit.
She would suck the tip of his cock as it began to protrude from his sheath, nursing on the button of slippery flesh until his tail was thrashing and it slid out fully, quickly joined by its brother.
He would bury himself in her heat and she would ride him until he came, first from one, then the other, until they were both satisfied and he was limp, a giant worthless worm.
And then he would s her about her door again.
Because he might not have been very good at asking for what he wanted or even thinking about his own needs ahead of anyone else’s, and hadn’t run a spectacularly successful business, even though it was handed to him .
.
.
but he was a good dad. And he would never not lecture Ruma over leaving her doors unlocked.
An hour later, he nearly had a heart attack with her garage door opened, with him lurking inside.
Sumi was laughing as she stepped out of her car.
“Sorry about that! I didn’t think about you being in here until I’d already hit the button.”
“I guess I should be happy the actual house door wasn’t unlocked as well, but do you see what just happened? Some creeper lurking in your garage, because you didn’t let the door do the one thing a door is for.”
“Yeah, but you’re a creeper I’m happy to see.”
He followed her uncomfortably into the house, unsure of why he was so uncomfortable in the first place.
She turned once they were both in her kitchen, stretching up on her toes, hooking her arms around his neck to meet his lips.
She hummed into the kiss, and his stomach flip-flopped.
She kissed him like someone she cared about.
Someone who was more than a secret fling, more than a former rival.
Current rival? Defeated rival? It was a deep kiss, long and warm.
It felt unearned to him, for he wasn’t someone important enough to be the recipient of such a kiss.
She kissed him as if he were someone she loved. Ranar swallowed hard at the thought.
“I do have bad news, unfortunately.
One of the girls is a bit under the weather so we’re a little shorthanded.
I can’t stay too long.
I hope fast and dirty will suffice.”
Neither was he in a position to pick and choose what scraps he was thrown.
“That’s perfect, actually.” They were fucking.
Right? That’s all they were doing.
Getting some of the hostility and aggression between them out of the way by fucking.
That didn’t fully explain why he took so much pleasure in undressing her, kissing his way down her neck and over her full breasts making the journey down the soft swell of her stomach and across her round hips, pulling her legs apart.
He would fuck her fast and dirty, but he needed her wet and warm enough to take him.
He hadn’t been with too many bipedal women in his lifetime.
Hadn’t been with many women at all, if he were being honest with himself, but he enjoyed this.
He especially enjoyed doing it to her.
The heat of her, her responsiveness, the way she rocked her hips up into his face, chasing her release against his tongue.
He especially loved the moment when he brought her over the edge — her breathy moans, the way her fingers would tighten in his hair or at his shoulders, pulse of her and the hot rush of heat coating his tongue.
Her eyes were heavy and her arms languid when he finally came up for air, his victory glistening on his chin.
“On your back, please.”
Ranar grinned.
Grace was right.
He did like bossy women.
It didn’t take long for Sumi to tease out his cocks, having a better understanding this time of he liked and how he responded.
When she pressed two fingers to the skin between his shafts, however, Ranar almost turned inside out.
“What was that?” She did it again, pressing her fingers to that in-between space, circling with just enough pressure to make him wheeze.
“Oh my god, are those your balls? Is that what I’m doing? Am I rubbing your balls right here?”
She was not letting up, and for the first time in his life, at least since he was a teenager, Ranar was worried he was about to spray from both shafts at once.
“I don’t know, but I think you should stop.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? How do you not know?! I’m just a dumb human, you can’t expect me to —“
“Because I’ve never taken a magical trip into my cock slit,” he said gruffly.
“I don’t have balls, not the way humans do.
But yeah, I guess that’s probably what you’re pressing on.”
“Does it feel good? Or am I hurting you?” She had stopped by then, her eyebrows kissing her hairline.
“It feels good.
A little too good.”
“How has no one done this to you before? What about your wife?! You know what, never mind.
Forget about all of them.
Okay, let’s put a pin in this.
I don’t have time to explore this as deeply as I would like to today, but the next chance I do, we are going to find out just how sensitive your little snake taint is.”
The next time.
Ranar didn’t know why it was that he couldn’t simply enjoy this for what it was.
Casual sex between two people who barely liked each other.
Why does it feel like more?
“You’ve spent so much time distracting yourself with my little snake taint that we’re probably only going to have time for one fast and dirty.
I’m going to need to jerk the other one off in your bushes like a pervert.“ He raised himself up, remembering.
“Speaking of your bushes, why are you leaving your door open? What’s wrong with you? Do I need to have a talk with your parents?”
“This is when I would normally play my dead mom card but I would rather you just shut up and let me fuck you.”
A tickle at the back of his brain, but too much of his blood was rushing for it to penetrate.
Sumi bit her lip, turning to stare at her bedside table for a moment.
“Can we try something? It’s gonna require a little bit of prep, but I think you’ll be happy with the results.”
Ranar held his breath when she coated his hand in the lubricant she pulled from the bedside table, using another generous blob on her own fingers to slicken herself.
“I need you to stretch me open a bit.
I don’t think I’ll be able to relax my muscles enough to take you on my own.”
Her ass was like a full, ripe peach, thick and juicy.
He liked gripping it, liked bumping into her from behind, feeling the roundness of her pressed to his tail.
He tried not to lose too much of the lube to her skin, working a finger into her tight hole as she squirmed.
He began to play with her clit as he worked in the second digit, enjoying the way she whimpered and jerked against him.
She was close to coming again by the time he had a third finger inside her, choosing to curl his body, leaning in to suck on her clit until she came against his tongue for a second time.
By the time she was coming down from the second orgasm of their afternoon, Sumi decided she was ready to take him.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had a partner willing to do this.
The kitsune from up the street had taken one look at the swells of his shaft and said no, not that Ranar had done anything more than wave to her from his driveway in months.
Sumi gripped his front shaft tightly, instructing him on the back as she lowered herself slowly.
“Nice and easy,” he crooned into her hair.
She was beautiful and brave, so much braver than he was.
“You’re doing so good.
You take my cocks so well.” He was several inches into her by then, his twin swells making her pause, breathing heavily.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, rocking up slowly, feeling her breath catch as he did so. “Brave for even trying. If this is all you can handle, this is fine, Sumi. This is all I need.”
At that, her eyes popped open.
“No, it’s not.
Stop selling your own needs short.”
The world went white as she dropped her weight, allowing gravity to force her body down on his cocks, crying out as she did so.
Ranar gasped, wheezing.
She felt incredible.
“Holy shit, it’s so much.”
Her voice was thin and strained and it was all he could do to keep a tight grip on his control.
He needed to keep control, for her sake.
She was doing this for him.
Why, he had no idea.
Couldn’t explain it to himself if he tried.
He was nothing to her, not really. The pathetic sap she had put out of business. If all this was was a pity fuck, it was still more than he deserved.
“You feel amazing.
You’re squeezing me so tight, I can barely move, you’re squeezing my cocks so well.” It was true.
Ranar rutted against her, his tail coiling around her legs, holding her close.
She was breathing hard, her breath a forced wheeze, squeaking when his tail slipped between her thighs, nestling in beside her clit.
Sumi began to gasp, her clit still swollen and sensitive, her arm reaching back to wrap around his neck.
His mouth was drawn to that spot below her ear like a magnet, feeling her thighs tremble, his fangs grazing her skin.
He wanted to bite her, mark her as his, which was the most foolhardy and inappropriate thing he'd considered in a summer full of bad decisions, but when she cried out, tightening around him, he was gone.
He had joked to Grace that he had blacked out the first time he had spent the night in Sumi’s bed, but this time was less of an exaggeration.
Both cocks spasmed at once, clenched in the dual vise grip of her body, his fangs bit sunk into her tender flesh, and the lack of blood in his brain nearly sent him sprawling to the floor.
When he was able to see straight again, he was flat on his back in her bed, with her tucked against his chest.
They were both breathing hard.
“That took fast and dirty to a new level.
You almost got me there.”
Ranar laughed weakly as she gingerly fingered the bite mark on her neck.
He had pitched sideways, managing not to break the skin, but it would leave a bruise.
Because that's just what you want her neighbors to whisper about, he thought wretchedly, gently raking his fingers through her hair.
“I always knew this big ass was going to be the MVP someday,” she went on.
“Someday, I knew it would happen.
I never would’ve guessed it was to provide more cushion for my naga lover’s pushin’, but I’ll take it.
My students,” she went on with a laugh, “they used to say gyat! That’s what I had to put up with.
This is so much better. And you’re a lot cuter.”
“You’re a teacher?” Something moved within him, a slithering in his chest, constricting around his lungs, making it difficult to breathe for a moment.
That tickle again, something nestled in the folds of his grey matter, a connection he couldn’t quite attach.
Her head tilted up, eyes meeting his, her lip catching in her teeth.
“I used to be.
But I’m not anymore.
I have something I wanted to ask you.
I’m going to send you a nice invitation, don’t worry.
This isn’t being prompted by the hot dp action, by the way, I was going to invite you anyway.
But the club I’m in, we’re having a little ceremony.
It’s nothing formal, just a way to celebrate everything we’ve been learning with friends and loved ones.
I’d really love for you to be there.
You’re the only person I’m asking, so if you don’t show up, I’m going to look like a real loser.
Just putting that out there if it helps you make up your mind.”
By the time he was back in his own shop, Ranar couldn’t focus on anything.
His lungs felt flipped inside out, something gnawing at the back of his brain that he couldn’t quite make out the shape of, one that left him discomfited just the same.
He had agreed to attend her ceremony, and that, too, left him feeling ill at ease.
He didn’t know why.
He hated not knowing how to categorize his feelings, and she had left him feeling that way since the instant she had walked through his doors, months earlier.
Months ago.
Not half a year ago.
And yet.
The thought of blocking her number, of ignoring her presence entirely, shutting her out, left him despondent.
She kissed him as though he mattered, and despite what Grace and his mother and daughter might think, Ranar couldn’t come up with a single reason why that should be so.
And yet.
Turning to his laptop, once he was home, made his insides bunch, that constriction around his lungs growing tighter.
But why? The ongoing chat with Pinky had been his solace.
So why, then, did it leave his feeling stricken? Too many little things, too numerous to be inconsequential.
He sat there, leaning back on his coil, staring at the screen until the room had gone dark, not shaken from his reverie until Ruma came bursting into the room, showing off the sweater she’d bought while shopping with his mother.
Ranar forced his attention away from the black screen, forced himself to be present where it mattered, and pushed aside the slithering worry in his mind.
.
.
.
For now.
Put this aside for now. And then figure out what’s going on.
ChaoticConcertina: I’ve been giving this a lot of thought.
A serious amount of thought.
I just want to put that out there so you don’t think I am being an impetuous creeper.
I think we should meet.
After all this time and after everything we’ve shared,
I don’t think it’s so completely inappropriate to consider.
I made a really important decision today.
I am closing my business.
I’ve already reached out to a listing agent to sell the property.
ChaoticConcertina: I even had a meeting this afternoon with one of my business partners
on what potential next steps might look like.
There’s a chance I’m not going to wind up working at a car wash, which is great.
And then after I had all these important conversations today,
I met up with someone.
Someone I think I might have a future with.
Or at least, someone who could have a future with a version of me.
But I didn’t tell her about any of it.
I’m telling you.
ChaoticConcertina: And I realized once I got home today and opened my laptop,
that it was a foregone conclusion that I would tell you immediately,
because I trust you implicitly.
I don’t know if I trust her the same way.
I don’t want to enter into another relationship if there’s a possibility here.
If there’s actually something here at all.
There’s a lot of stuff swirling in my mind right now that I can’t make heads or tails of
With all the uncertainty in my life I’ve been dealing with, I need to know where I stand
With you. With her.
With whichever version of myself this is.
I hope that makes sense.