Chapter 24
L eo was sitting on the step of Petra's building when she rounded the corner and had to swallow his laugh.
She looked half asleep and was walking very gingerly.
Poor thing. Finn had obviously gone to town on her.
Still, she smiled dreamily when she saw him sitting there and he rose to his feet to kiss her cheek.
"Here, let me take your bag," he offered, taking her things and scooping up the bags of food he'd brought with him.
“Such a gentleman,” she said and took his arm. “Surprised you’re not in the apartment...”
"That wouldn't have been very polite," he said, as though butter wouldn't melt in his mouth even though he knew damn well the idea had crossed his mind more than once.
But he knew she'd be tired and sore, and the last thing she needed was a shock from finding someone unexpected in her sanctuary.
"I went to the Middle Eastern deli near my place for dinner," he told her as she let them both into her place.
"I didn't know if you'd want hot or cold, so I brought enough to feed the five-thousand in the hopes there's something in there you'll eat.
Why don't you go and take a shower and I'll get this all set up? "
“Perfect. Though, Leo, it wouldn’t have bothered me if I had walked in and found you in my place. I mean, I know Rix has a key. I figured you all did.”
"Well yeah, but we like to do creepy shit with them, like checking in on you when you're passed out from being fucked into a coma," he laughed. "Who wants to do normal stuff like pre-warm dinner for you?"
She laughed. “Noted...though it would be sexy to walk in from work to find you waiting in bed for me.” She winked and walked off into the bathroom. He heard the shower turn on and then splashing. It was clear she was in and enjoying it.
He laughed quietly to himself as he began warming up food.
So demanding, their little minx. She never knew when to stop.
She might think it was sexy to come home and find him in her bed but it was almost like she'd forgotten how extra he was.
There'd be rose petals and chocolate and candles fucking everywhere, and she'd regret having to tidy it all up the next day, especially since the sheets would need washing, too. Maybe more than one set.
He set out dishes of mezze and flatbreads, before adding kefta and grilled lamb and eggs poached in spicy tomato sauce.
There was couscous and grilled halloumi and fresh tabbouleh.
.. He'd probably gone totally overboard, but it was all fresh and he was glad to know she'd have food for the next few days.
He'd just finished setting up the table when she returned, looking fresher and less tired than before.
Dressed in lounge shorts and a tank top, clearly no bra, she smiled at him as she pulled her hair up into a bun. “It smells yummy,” she said. “What’s vegetarian? I’m not really sure about what it all is.”
"Everything except the brochettes, those are kefta," he told her.
"You can eat everything that's not on a stick.
This is lemon-flavored rice wrapped in vine leaves.
This is a whipped feta spread. This is aubergine with fresh garlic and sesame paste.
This is grilled halloumi with warm sun blush tomatoes.
This is..." He continued listing all of the dishes and what was in them until her eyes were glazing over, and eventually he just made her up a plate with some of everything and let her taste it.
“Ooh...yummy,” she said softly and smiled. “This is perfect...good choice.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. She did a little food dance in her chair and closed her eyes as she chewed. “So how was your day? I mean after you came like a firehose?”
"Not bad," he replied, settling into his chair now that he was sure she was okay with his food choices. "I don't think I need to ask how yours went..."
“It was the best workday ever.” She giggled and sipped her drink. “You making headway with work?”
"Yes and no." He set down his fork and sighed.
"I have meetings with my lawyers next week.
We're getting some pushback from big pharma over hospitals hosting our studies.
Antidepressants are such big revenue earners because people take them for sustained periods of time.
Us finding a ‘cure’ for depression," he quoted it with his fingers, "takes a big chunk out of their bottom line.
So they're leaning on hospitals and clinics to refuse to participate in the study.
If we can't legally persuade them to back off, we'll have to start looking at setting up our own clinics in collaboration with private practices that actually have their patients' best interests at heart instead of lining their own pockets.
" He shook his head, but then remembered a couple of good pieces of news and smiled at her.
"Our neuroscientists had a breakthrough, though.
One of the reasons the FDA has dragged their feet over approving these drugs as a treatment is because we've never been sure how they work.
We were aware it had something to do with neural plasticity, but my team have developed a new technique to actually watch it happening in real time in mice and it's incredible.
We also got approached by a university this week looking to run research on using the EMDR technique in conjunction with psilocybin low and micro-dosing, so that's exciting, too.
“It means new funding, new staff, new grants we can apply for.
.. But best of all, if it works, it will be an incredibly effective treatment protocol that can be offered at lower cost than expensive psychiatrists and long-term medications.
" He cut himself off and forced himself to pick up his fork again. "Sorry. I got carried away."
“No, it sounds fabulous! Why wouldn’t I want to hear about your team saving the world? And with what He has given you this year, I think you are onto all good things.” She smiled. “I like listening to you talk about it. It feels...normal and domestic.”
He chuckled. "I've never been normal and I'm probably more feral than domesticated, but it is nice to just hang out with you.
It's true." He paused, chewing thoughtfully.
"It's interesting that He Who Sleeps lets us use the gifts He gives for things like this.
You'd think that a God that feeds on murder would be all for chaos and destruction and misery.
Yet here we are, making art, curing depression, rescuing animals.
.. Sometimes I wish we could actually communicate with Him for real, you know?
Ask Him if this is really what He wants or expects from His followers.
You should ask Finn his theories on gods sometime.
When he's not being a kinky fucker, he actually has some pretty deep thoughts about them. "
“Theological conversations? That could be enlightening,” she said and then was quiet for long moments.
“You know, I think that He allows for this because of balance. But is He truly dark? I mean, humanity is not of use to Him if they aren’t in a measure of comfort.
You need a baseline from which to hurt someone.
If they’re already in pain, a little bit of torture isn’t going to do a whole lot.
And animals? Honestly, any god that would willingly hurt innocents.
..” She shook her head. “Humans are not innocent. Animals are.”
He snorted. "If you really think that, you've never met a goat. Cantankerous little fuckers, every one of them. They're cute when they're babies, but the minute they get big, they're out to destroy you and everything you love."
“Yes, but they are innocent. They don’t harm like humans do. They are assholes, but it’s their nature, given to them by nature. Humans are corruptible. Goats just are .” She smiled. “Goat eyes freak me out.”
"I think if you have enough sentience to have a sense of humor, which goats definitely do, and a desire to prank the people that feed you, which goats also definitely do, there's some wickedness in there. And yes, they have freaky eyes. Little weirdos." He shuddered.
"Anyway, the gist of Finn's deep theories about any organized religion is that barely any fraction of it is actually based on, or endorsed by, the god or gods that inspired it.
We know there's a God. We have proof of it.
So, you know, it stands to reason that other gods exist, or at least they used to exist. But the god-human axis is inherently corrupt and it has the telephone effect of errors getting magnified down the generations.
I guess what I'm saying is that, theoretically, The Order might be as wrong about the Dark God's needs as the Christian Church is about their faith. "
“Oh yes...tenets , unless given directly by the god, are the wants and desires of man. We could go into that all night. My friend is a theology student, doing her master’s right now,” she offered. “Her thesis is on organized religion and its need for human control.”
"Obviously they have some things right, or we wouldn't be able to feed Him," Leo said, really enjoying being able to have an intelligent conversation with someone outside their little brotherhood.
At work it was all science this and money that.
He was too driven and, of necessity, too secretive to have many friends. The Order was like a jealous lover.
"They knew the tattoos would work, so that we don't have to bleed you.
But what's really interesting is that tattoos have been around since the ice age, right?
But up until we asked about it and the ritual tattoos were suggested, they used to brand Order members who found someone that agreed to the pact. "